How do you know if you are helping too much?

[delaney]

So I listened to Robinson's audio and I really like the independence he fosters in his children. I don't agree with all that he says but I feel like I do too much hand holding with writing and math. I keep thinking that I just need to give some guidance.....just give them examples of what to write and it will become second nature to them. Well I still fight with writing. I also love that his kids just did what he told them too! I struggle with DD(10) getting her reading done. She procrastinates, dawdles....find excuses. I am just sick of it. Maybe I need to lower the hammer?

[TXMomof4]

This is something I struggle with. Especially when I KNOW they know how to do whatever it is and I just want to scream when it takes 20 minutes to do a math problem.

 

Honestly, this year we're doing a virtual academy. They have weekly checkpoints they're supposed to do for the teacher on their own. It has been really eye-opening to me how hard it is for them to work completely independantly. AGain, they know the material, but it's like they freak out when they have to process on their own. With this particular situation, I'm letting them sink or swim. I still help them with their lessons, but for these checkpoints, they have to pay attention and read carefully. If they mess it up, it's not for a grade, but their "teacher" does see it. That seems to motivate them to be a little more cautious.

 

Good luck!

[delaney]

Well today I put DD in her Saxon book and told her to tough it out. I pointed out that the answers can be explained on the pages indicated by the little numbers next to the problems if she needed to go back and review. She did it! I lowballed her to start with and I think I did her a disservice by putting her in 5/4 instead of 6/5. She lacks confidence in math but i really feel like she is capable of more. I plan on doing 2 lessons per day and get her into 6/5 sometime in the near future. I feel so unsettled with the way I teach. I love projects, hands-on, reading aloud...but then I see how they aren't learning to just do hardcore academics alone because I am leading the way in everything. I really wish I had another HS mom local I could bounce things off of. The only ones I know are way over the moon about CC and the others are totally anti-CC.

[Halcyon]

My 8 yo usually does about 75% of his work unsupervised. I am not sure if it's his personality or what. For math, I show him what he needs to do--if there's something that's new or needs instruction, obviously I go through it. Then he's on his own. He comes to me if he gets stuck, but that's it. For Chemistry, he's basically responsible. We need to do WWE, SOTW and Latin together, for obvious reasons. Mapwork he does solo, and Grammar solo, meaning he figures out what lesson he's up to and does the work. I do think I encouraged this very early on, but personally, I think it's about 50% personality.

 

Cna you link up that lecture

[delaney]

Here is the talk he does:

http://www.robinsoncurriculum.com/view/rc/s31p655.htm

[CalicoKat]

One day I told my kids that their ticket for lunch was to show me their completed work for Math, Reading and Writing (Grammar & Handwriting).

 

I made lunch, sat down with the babies to feed them and the finished work rolled in! A m a z i n g.

 

Of course I made sure they'd had a huge breakfast so I knew they weren't going to starve.

 

 

I'm sure it also helped that I made their fav. meal. One of my kiddos didn't believe me, of course. It took her til 1 to get it done. But she got it done.

[i.love.lucy]

Well today I put DD in her Saxon book and told her to tough it out. I pointed out that the answers can be explained on the pages indicated by the little numbers next to the problems if she needed to go back and review. She did it! I lowballed her to start with and I think I did her a disservice by putting her in 5/4 instead of 6/5. She lacks confidence in math but i really feel like she is capable of more. I plan on doing 2 lessons per day and get her into 6/5 sometime in the near future. I feel so unsettled with the way I teach. I love projects, hands-on, reading aloud...but then I see how they aren't learning to just do hardcore academics alone because I am leading the way in everything. I really wish I had another HS mom local I could bounce things off of. The only ones I know are way over the moon about CC and the others are totally anti-CC.

Do you mean Classical Conversations? I'm not sure I understand how that ties into the conversation here?:confused:

 

My dd is not independent enough either. I finally decided that it's something I have to work on. She's 10 in 5th grade. When I know she has the instruction of a lesson down and it's simply a matter of dawdling or doing the problems in math the hard way because she's not paying attention, then I have set the timer for the lesson and what isn't done becomes "homework". She doesn't like it when her leftover school work cuts in to her free time.

 

I'm lowering the hammer too. I am sick of all the molly-coddling. She couldn't cry over a math or writing lesson at a brick and mortar school, why should I tolerate that at home? Man up! :D On a serious note, I do want to build her confidence that she CAN do this. I am always there to help and guide and tutor, but I shouldn't have to hold her hand through every single math problem!

[Parrothead]

One day I told my kids that their ticket for lunch was to show me their completed work for Math, Reading and Writing (Grammar & Handwriting).

 

I made lunch, sat down with the babies to feed them and the finished work rolled in! A m a z i n g.

 

Of course I made sure they'd had a huge breakfast so I knew they weren't going to starve.

 

 

I'm sure it also helped that I made their fav. meal. One of my kiddos didn't believe me, of course. It took her til 1 to get it done. But she got it done.

Logical consequences worked for dd too. Last year she had mostly things that were for her to do herself. (It was my burn out year.) About the 5th week into the year she took all day to do math and reading. She did not go to dance that day. I haven't had too many problems with dawdling since.