need suggestions on a horse for sale ad

[Denise in Florida]

We have listed my daughter's horse, Mocha, for sale on equine.com. We have had plenty of views but no calls.

 

I would like advice on how to improve the ad. If anyone has the time, would they mind looking at the ad and giving feedback?

 

Is there anything we could change? pictures, text, etc.

 

http://www.equine.com/horses-for-sale/horse-ad-1032972.html

 

Do the pictures make the horse appealing?

 

ETA: eeep. Just to be clear I am not expecting anyone on the board to buy her. She is awesome but not the level of horse someone would buy and ship across country. :)

 

thanks,

Edited November 4, 2010 by Denise in Florida
clarifying purpose

[Liz CA]

Perhaps describe some of Mocha's personality traits. You've mentioned accomplishments but I am always looking for words like, "easy to train", "gentle temperament", "loves people", "eager to please", etc.

 

If you cannot write anything in good conscience, I would still point out that your daughter has worked with her and achieved a certain level of training.

[Denise in Florida]

Thanks, I hadn't thought of that. this is the first horse we have tried to sell:001_smile:. She is a doll, we have owned her since she was 18 months old.

 

My dd has done all her training (with instruction from dd's trainer). She is fairly mellow for her age (still acts like a baby sometimes) and learns quickly when she is focused (hmm, sounds like my dd :lol:).

 

We checked the box for 5 out of 10 for temperment, but I'd didn't think to make any comments.

[Unicorn.]

Perhaps describe some of Mocha's personality traits. You've mentioned accomplishments but I am always looking for words like, "easy to train", "gentle temperament", "loves people", "eager to please", etc.

 

If you cannot write anything in good conscience, I would still point out that your daughter has worked with her and achieved a certain level of training.

 

:iagree: You mention competed, but has she won anything? If so, I would mention those accomplishments as well. She's a pretty horse. :001_smile:

[danivdp]

I don't like picture #5. She doesn't look as good in that one as the other two...the shadows or something.

 

Yeah, I'd mention a couple of the championships she's won.

[Denise in Florida]

thank you for the replies. I will have dd change the text to mention her temperment and list the associations where she has won championships (North Florida H/J Assoc., and First Coast H/J Assoc.) We have a show this weekend, I may take pictures of Mocha in her stall at the show hopefully with ribbons on the door, and use that to replace picture 5.

 

Any further comments will be eagerly accepted. :001_smile:

[Remudamom]

Get some good conformation shots in there.

 

I've sold about 20 horses in the past four years or so, the kids quit riding and I got tired of all the work, but I was selling a different product. Either ranch horses or kid broke horses.

 

I had pics of them under tarps, walking up steps, videos of them having balls bounced off of them, kids riding them. Doing what they do. So your jumping pics should be right on for your potential buyers.

 

 

And I had a buyer from this board once, turned out she lived just about an hour away and we didn't even know it.

[katemary63]

To be completely honest, I think it's your price. Horses are just not worth much these days. She's a really pretty horse. I think you could talk more about her in the ad as some have suggested. But $5000 is too much for a small AQHA that is only age 4 and has a temperament of 5. For that she'd have to have the pedigree from heaven and be farther along in her training. Especially for her size, she would need to be good for a child and the #5 temperament won't indicate that. I'd also think about video. If she's a nice mover it may spark interest. I don't like the jumping shots with her legs seperate and her head hanging. It shows her lower level. The pictures should be the best you can possibly get and show her only at her very best.

 

Don't feel bad. I've got an amazing young filly, dun AQHA with a great pedigree. I can't sell her. She's just amazing, the daughter of an NRHA futurity winner, and I thought I'd have no trouble because of her stunning color and beauty, but the market is saturated since people are spending less on everything now and that especially means horses. Only the really special horses are selling for any kind of money. I'm thinking of free leasing my filly to someone local and maybe getting her back when she's old. If I hold out for a measly $1500, who knows who will end up with her. Good luck.

[Denise in Florida]

Thank you, I really am looking for realistic feedback and I appreciate the honesty about the price. Our trainer suggested the starting price but I'm aware we will end up negotiating lower.

 

My concern has been buyer's perception of her, if you know what I mean. I don't want to ask too little; there are quite a few 'bargain' horses around right now, most of them have serious flaws. :001_huh: I don't want her lumped in with them; she is sound and healthy and works well given her age. I want her to find a good home but dd can't ride her much longer, dd has outgrown the horse and it isn't a good fit for either.

 

I wish you good luck with your filly also.

 

I will also see about getting new pictures at the show this weekend.

[hana]

Thanks, I hadn't thought of that. this is the first horse we have tried to sell:001_smile:. She is a doll, we have owned her since she was 18 months old.

 

My dd has done all her training (with instruction from dd's trainer). She is fairly mellow for her age (still acts like a baby sometimes) and learns quickly when she is focused (hmm, sounds like my dd :lol:).

 

We checked the box for 5 out of 10 for temperment, but I'd didn't think to make any comments.

 

Here you talk about her characteristics in ways that would attract my horse-loving friend. Show that she has been well cared for in loving sorts of ways as well as well trained.

[Cindyg]

I also don't like pictures 2, 3, and 5. I really hate #2. She's a pretty mare. I like picture 7. I like that you have pictures of her jumping. If someone claims they have a jumper, they need to show her jumping, and that's what you've done. But that picture #2 is really sloppy. It is not going to appeal to your target audience.

 

What Remudamom said about conformation shots -- do you know what that is? Straight on from all four sides so people can see her build. Plus, anything that catches her personality, her training, or her usability.

 

You mentioned in your OP that she's an awesome horse. What's awesome about her? Put that in your ad!

 

I think it's a really tough time to sell a horse. I've read so many desperate ads. Just yesterday I read one where the person said she HAD to sell the horses to save her house. Just heartbreaking.

 

I wish you luck.

[Journey]

I will say that I haven't read all of the posts so forgive me if I'm repeating anything. Please don't get mad at me for what I'm going to say because I don't mean to sound rude...just honest. We are currently selling a horse and looking for another so I am in the same boat as you sort of! This is just my opinion though so take it for what it's worth. I've been doing this for about 30 years. Congratulations on your daughter and her equine for all of the work they have done together by the way. As for the jumping pictures, I don't like any of them. The horse's knees aren't even and she doesn't look balanced going over the jump. If I'm going to pay $5000 for a horse, it has to jump better than that, way better than that. It needs to be doing 2'6" consistently and well. The things that you've written about Mocha aren't enough. You say she knows her leads but what does that mean? Does she have her auto lead changes or does she do simple lead changes? Can she be ridden English and Western? You say that she's won many championships but what are they? She is adorable but she is very, very small (does she have her pony card?) Can you list her as a pony? You might get more hits if you list her that way. You say she's a 5 on the bombproof scale which says to me that if I was looking at a horse this size, it would be for a smaller child and I would want the horse to be closer to a 1 or a 2. She's probably still green which isn't good in this instance being so small (for a smaller rider who is most likely going to be inexperienced). She is going to grow some more which is good. Can you put a video on the ad showing her lead changes and going over more jumps? What is this horse best at? You should figure that out and market THAT ability....the jumping isn't going to sell her because she needs to be better at it (I am SO sorry to say that as it sounds mean and I so do NOT want to sound rude). $5000 is alot of money to spend on a horse these days, at least around here (NYS). One good thing is that she's a QH and well trained Quarter Horses are worth their weight in gold, but she's not at that point yet. So all of that to say...for me....your horse is over priced and not trained well enough yet and your ad doesn't give me enough information to want to pursue it. You have SO much competition, so your ad HAS to stand out among all of the others. You can list her on Dreamhorse.com too. Bigeq.com is another one. I wish you the best and I hope Mocha ends up in a wonderful home. By the way, she is really cute!

[Denise in Florida]

Thank you for your responses. This is our first horse to sell and I really appreciate the advice from more experienced folks. :001_smile:

 

The price and wording were based on advice from the trainer. After the comments I've received here, I am going to work on better descriptions of her temperment and get some new pictures .

 

Thank you, thank you for your honesty.

 

I have a few more questions:

1- Should I say that she loads easily, stands well for farrier and clipping? or is that assumed?

2- She is small, and the trainer does not think she will get much taller. How do I know if she qualifies as pony-height and how do I say that?

3- She has been very well behaved at the shows we have taken her to, no spooking, refusing etc. Do I mention that?

4- How do I judge 'bomb proof ness'? Again, I think the trainer just said 'medium'? She doesn't act up or fight the rider but every now and then she decides to be afraid of some random thing or other. The trainer has used her as a lesson pony and the kids do not have problems with her.

 

These things may seem obvious. But apparently they aren't to me. :001_smile: Thanks for the help.

[Journey]

I would say something like this in the ad:

Fly’n Hoof’s Mocha is a 4 year old registered QH mare. 14 hh. Could possibly obtain her pony card (check with local pony clubs). W/T/C. Has her flying lead changes consistently. Green over fences but is schooling 2’ and is doing well. Has been shown successfully over cross rails. Stands for farrier, loads, stands for vet. Up to date on all vaccinations. Easy keeper. Doesn’t wear shoes (don’t mention anything if she does wear shoes). Turns out well with other horses. Currently being used in a lesson program. Nice pony but needs more training to work up to her potential. Sadly, current owner has outgrown her.

Don't mention that she is trained in jumpers because I don't think she has been....jumpers is where the horse goes around the ring as fast as it can over jumps that get raised higher and higher after every clean round. Jumpers can jump over 5'. This horse is not a jumper and most likely won't ever be. I think your ad said that she's been shown in hunters, but has she? I know you said shown over cross rails, that's not hunters. Hunters is where the horses jump courses and have to look a certain way. Not sure I would say that unless she has been in hunter classes at shows. Again, "I" wouldn't pay $5000 for this horse but I'm not sure what the market is in your area. Around here, she would probably bring around $1000 and that's because she's a QH. Maybe with alot more training she could bring something closer to what you're asking but I don't think she's a $5000 horse. What made you decide on that price? I'm wondering if your trainer is actually a trainer or just a riding instructor. The reason I ask is because she doesn't really seem to be giving you good advice....not sure if the horse will get bigger....said she's a medium on the bombproof scale...(never heard of a medium before). Maybe you could call some of the bigger hunter barns in your area and ask them if one of their trainers could come out and take a look at your mare and give you some suggestions. I know you love this horse and want the best for her, but I feel like you're shooting yourself in the foot with that big price tag on a green "hunter/jumper". I would also take the jumping pictures off the ad like you mentioned. Try adding a video if that's possible, of the horse going over crossrails and cavaletti's and doing lead changes....show people what she can do.

[Denise in Florida]

Thank you Journey for taking the time to answer so many questions.

 

I will get new pictures this weekend and re-word the text. The trainer is well respected in the area so please assume any oddness is due to my limited knowledge not hers.:lol: The local associations do refer to the classes Mocha has been in as Hunter classes.(hmm) I don't know if there are 'pony clubs' in area, I will check.

 

I know we will need to accept less than the asking price, but at a certain level I would rather keep her and lease her to friends with younger kids. There are too many 'less than meticulous' horse groups around here and I don't want her ending up in some of those markets.

[danivdp]

4- How do I judge 'bomb proof ness'? Again, I think the trainer just said 'medium'? She doesn't act up or fight the rider but every now and then she decides to be afraid of some random thing or other. The trainer has used her as a lesson pony and the kids do not have problems with her.

 

I'm no horse expert, but that sounds like a pretty great temperament to me. Can you take the temperament number off and just put that description? If I was looking for a pony size, temperament would be a huge consideration...

[LittleIzumi]

I would absolutely mention that she is used as a lesson horse and loads/stands. As it is the lack of any mention of temperament makes me think "if you can't say anything nice..." KWIM? And I agree on the price being high for her level.