Is there a cure for pokiness???

[Tamberly]

My 7 year old is bright but SOOOOO poky. She is doing pretty good with school, though it does take her awhile to complete anything artistic or that involves writing. The problem is, everything else takes her SOO long to do! Getting dressed? Easily at least 30 minutes. Brushing her teeth: usually 15 minutes. Hair: another 15 minutes. Eating? Don't get me started! She would easily take an hour each meal!

Standing over her coaching her to keep moving is not an option. Some days we have to, if we have somewhere to be. But at this age, shouldn't she be able to complete these tasks in less time??When I remind her 3 or 4 times to go brush her teeth and I find her off doing something else, it is very hard to stay patient!

There must be something I am missing! What is the cure for pokiness??:confused:

[Murphy101]

My 12 year old has been this way since birth.

If anyone has a humane cure, I'd love to hear it.

[Parrothead]

Not so much for the pokiness, but technically going and doing something else when you tell her to brush her teeth is disobeying. Appropriate logical consequences should be given. You'll have to decide what is appropriate and logical in your family.

 

As for the rest, put her on a timer - again appropriate and logical. She has 30 minutes to eat a meal. If she isn't done she gets her plate taken away. She isn't in danger of starving.

 

Let's see... For the hair, if she isn't done in 5 minutes, you do it. Very matter of factly. And if it pulls she just has to suck it up since she blew her chance at doing it herself.

 

More of the same for the rest.

[Dawn in OH]

If anyone has a humane cure, I'd love to hear it.

 

Me too! My 9 year old son is this way. It takes him something like 20 minutes just to put his pajamas on.

 

He's like this with everything too. I have had to do the timed meals thing with him before. I'm to the point of setting a timer for everything.

[Murphy101]

Timer does not work here. He just spazzes over the time going by and gets even LESS done.:glare:

[Gratia271]

My 12 year old has been this way since birth.

If anyone has a humane cure, I'd love to hear it.

PLEEEEASE, share it with me too!

 

Timer does not work here. He just spazzes over the time going by and gets even LESS done.:glare:

 

I thought my son was the only one.

[ScoutTN]

Wish I knew it!!!

My DD is so slooooooow and easily distracted.

 

We do often take the approach Parrothead suggested above, but sometimes we just let it go...

drives me crazy!

[myfunnybunch]

But at this age, shouldn't she be able to complete these tasks in less time??

 

As my mother used to say, " 'Should' ain't 'is.' "

 

My pokey one is 17. She comes by it honestly. My dh is pokey too. They just do things slllooooooooooowwwlllyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Like molasses in January.

 

Expecting them to take longer to do things, and allowing lots more time has been helpful to my sanity. Consistent coaching on routine tasks ("Don't stop, go right into the bathroom...Get your toothbrush, now that you've got it, go straight to the toothpaste without stopping. I know that ladybug on the wall is fascinating, but get that toothbrush in your mouth first and you can watch while you brush...." and so on) for an extended period of time helped.

 

The good news is that now that my 17 y.o. is nearing adulthood, her pokiness is increasingly her problem, not mine. Real-life consequences like missing the bus or taking 45 minutes to mop the kitchen or her friends leaving without her because she hasn't arrived have tended to make her a little more aware of time. So you've got...oh, about 10 more years to go! ;)

 

Cat

[Sophia]

... it is very hard to stay patient!

 

 

My first born has been like this since birth.

He was 14 days late when the Dr. started me on pitocin.

After 36 hours they did a c-section and went in and got that poky boy.

 

I would say his pokiness improved this past summer, because he started working for his dad and (I think) wanted to impress the crews he was working with. So, age and maturity helped, I guess?

 

But, other than that, I got nothing for you except to tell you you're not alone.

I will add I do not believe it has ever been a rebellious issue~just a personality issue. He was always shocked to discover we were irritated by having to wait all the time. He always had a big smile on his face while steam was coming out of our ears, lol.

[Murphy101]

My first born has been like this since birth.

He was 14 days late when the Dr. started me on pitocin.

After 36 hours they did a c-section and went in and got that poky boy.

 

I would say his pokiness improved this past summer, because he started working for his dad and (I think) wanted to impress the crews he was working with. So, age and maturity helped, I guess?

 

But, other than that, I got nothing for you except to tell you you're not alone.

I will add I do not believe it has ever been a rebellious issue~just a personality issue. He was always shocked to discover we were irritated by having to wait all the time. He always had a big smile on his face while steam was coming out of our ears, lol.

 

 

That's my third boy, right down to the delivery. Except he was also butt first presenting. Dh says the boys was so pokey he hadn't even started to turn in the right direction when the rest of us were ready for him to exit already.:D

[Tamberly]

I will add I do not believe it has ever been a rebellious issue~just a personality issue. He was always shocked to discover we were irritated by having to wait all the time. He always had a big smile on his face while steam was coming out of our ears, lol.

 

This is totally my daughter, too - completely oblivious! Usually she just gets so caught up in reading or anything that moves...or is shiny...

 

Well, nice to know I'm not alone, but any ideas? We've tried the timer and perhaps didn't stick with it long enough because she also was so distracted staring at it, crying about running out of time, that we didn't try long.

[Chaqar]

I have one of these as well! He is also seven. Strangely his birth was perhaps the only thing he ever did quickly.

 

But...he gets it from me! And I'm equally at a loss as to how to help him (and myself).

 

I think this is a personality issue and goes along with, among other things, being detail-oriented. Although it is trying, at times it is also a gift! This child typically does things WELL. Oftentimes this child thinks deeply and weighs all sides of a problem/solution. In our case, others have remarked since his early childhood that he can focus and stick with something for longer than would be expected of a child his age. Other times, dawdling occurs simply out of habit.

 

I never realized how trying I must have been on my parents/teachers until dealing with my own Poky Little Puppy!

 

Someone else already mentioned that it helps when the child can take ownership and experience the consequences him(her)self. That has been the case with me.

 

Please bear in mind that this child likely does not possess the innate tools to know how/when to hustle and will probably need guidance to help develop better habits. Teach this child how to prioritize (among other things). Sometimes it seems that everything must be done perfectly, but, in reality, there's not time for that. I know that I have floundered many times and experienced difficult consequences due to my own slowness. How I could have benefited from a patient and wise guide to help me navigate this weakness rather than just being left to figure it out on my own.

 

Now...if I could just be that patient and wise guide for my own son!

[Sophia]

Well, nice to know I'm not alone, but any ideas? We've tried the timer and perhaps didn't stick with it long enough because she also was so distracted staring at it, crying about running out of time, that we didn't try long.

 

Well I did find out last school year that ds does really well with weekly checklists.

This worked wonderfully, because I didn't hover over him daily...if his work wasn't done by the end of the week, he was in trouble.

He always got it done. Granted, sometimes all in one night, but it got done.

 

I gave him weekly checklists because of his age, but you could try interval checklists for your 7 y.o.

 

For instance, put a cold breakfast on the table for her and tell her she gets it when her list of morning hygiene activities are done.

Then give her a morning checklist followed by lunch, etc. Build a reward system into it, i.e. a token for every timely list redeemable for a treat when she gets 5 or whatever number you choose.

Tbh, this would not have worked for my poky son at this age, but reward systems work really well for my people pleasing girls.

Hope you get some other ideas,