So, I visited the Baptist church....

[FO4UR]

I think you'd be welcome at the Baptist church, but I do think if you are vocal about your beliefs that they are going to assume you are not a Christian. In which case you would be considered a mission field.

 

They are going to assume you are not a Christian because man's sinful nature, his need for a savior, and Christ as the ONLY means by which one is saved are non-negotiable doctrines in most mainstream denominations. Though, as evidenced, there are individual churches who reject these teachings.

 

I think you are going to find those foundational truths will pretty much permeate that church.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I think - I KNOW - they are teaching the kids that Jesus is the only way. This would be the deal-breaker if I were you. While I might be able to attend a church without getting personally confused, what people teach my kids HAS to be compatible with what I teach at home (...says the HS mom:lol:...).

 

Now...you might find it interesting to go and hear some sermons from a different pov, but until you can explain how what you and dh believe compares to what they believe in terms that they can understand...and feel confident in answering respectfully for themselves...I would be very cautious about taking them. Your dc are young, and that certainly plays into my opinion. If you had teenagers who loved a good deep spiritual discussion, I might feel differently.

 

Oh, and I have to agree that if that lady is your true friend, she's going to be a true friend whether you join that church or not.

[ReidFamily]

 

1. There is only one path to Salvation, and that is through Jesus Christ. You have two options: choose Jesus, or choose Hell. He equated this to when he disciplined his own children: Choose to obey me, kids, or choose spanking. Your choice." For someone who doesn't believe in corporal punishment, this was off-putting.

 

 

ETA: Another thing I just remembered about the sermon. The pastor said "Remember, we are all rotten at our core. Utterly rotten." That didn't resonate with me.

 

If you do not believe these things, if they do not resonate with your spiritual instincts then I would avoid this Church. These concepts will resonate within almost any other teachings because the path to salvation and the nature of our spirits will be within almost any other teaching.

 

You need to find a Church that has a concept of salvation and of our spiritual natures that speaks to you.

[Chris in VA]

World of difference between Christianity and Unity.

Pm me if you want more, I don't want to derail your thread.

Again, I hope you find something that really satisfies you! We all need community, that's for sure.

[Garga]

It makes me sad that I don't think the mom or her family will become close friends with us if I don't join. Not that she won't be polite; she's a friendly lady, that's her nature. But I sense if we join I'd have a lot more friends, including her and her kids.

 

 

Well, to give her the benefit of the doubt, friendships are hard to maintain. If you're going to the same church, it's infinately easier to maintain: you're guaranteed to see your friend once or twice a week. If you go to separate churches, you have to work harder to maintain the friendship, and it's easier for it to fade away for no other reason than time constraints and general busyness.

 

It may not be that she'll purposely not be your friend if you don't go to her church. It could be that it's simply harder to make that time for friendships. If you went to her church, and saw her all the time, your friendship would grow easily and w/o a lot of effort. Also, if you're going to the same church it gives you just one more thing in common, which also makes the friendship easier to maintain.

 

If the friendship doesn't take off, and you're not going to her church, it's not necessarily not taking off because she's pushing you away. It might simply be a natural consequence of not seeing each other weekly, and having one less thing in common.

 

There's that other thread out there now where a WTMer was accused of not having "pure motives." We want to be sure we're not attributing "unpure motives" to your friend. We don't know her motives and we ought not judge and assume she'll reject you because you don't attend her church.

[Laurie4b]

At the risk of sounding like a mom ;), But do you want to be friends with someone who has already placed conditions and judgment on you?

 

I can see where you're coming from, but it sounds like (from what you've described) that you're only in the "club" if you believe what they do. (it happened to me :( )

 

I find this post rather ironic. People are making prejudgements about this woman's behavior based on the doctrine of her church. I know people who go to churces with similar doctrine in terms of "Jesus as the one way" who have lots of friends who don't attend their church. No one knows how this friend will react if the OP decides not to join her church. Some might "move on" from the friendship; others wouldn't.

[mykdsmomy]

I find this post rather ironic. People are making prejudgements about this woman's behavior based on the doctrine of her church.

 

I wasn't basing my opinion on her church doctrine but rather how OP described her. She also mentioned she didn't think this woman would be friends with her if she didn't join her church. That's what my opinion was based on :o

[HappyGrace]

I'm sorry, I missed the other thread. You probably have already done this, but would it help any to read through the Bible yourself and see how you feel after that? I'm wondering if that would help you narrow things down as to a church-if they say they are Bible believing, you could make a judgment based on your own reading as to whether that would be good for you. I know that is a really simple idea though, and that doctrine can be a bugaboo, but you are at least trying to find a good fit by looking into different denominations, etc. Kudos for trying it out today!

[just Jenny]

Hi Floridamama,

 

The following are my beliefs and thoughts about this series of posts. I write the following not to fight or be right, but rather just as a series of considerations for anyone reading this post. Hard to communicate tone in writing, but please take this in the best way possible. If you think I am wrong, I take no offense. :)

 

Here goes....

 

Jesus teaches many times in plain language in the gospels that there is Hell. He says there are people who will go there. In fact, He says that the majority of people will go there.

 

Now if you love someone and believe they might go to hell, this is a hard teaching to accept. If you are a afraid you might go to hell, this is also a hard teaching to accept.

 

However, if a person says there is no hell, then doesn't that mean they are saying that Jesus lied? If the person is saying Jesus is a liar, why should that person listen to anything else He says?

 

If God is truly God, then doesn't he determine what is right or wrong? And if we are putting ourselves in that position to say that what He says is wrong or we don't agree, then how are we acknowledging that He is God? (i.e. Who has the authority in our lives?)

 

If a person is saying, "I am a Christian." It seems to me that they are saying they follow and believe in Jesus.

 

I like HappyGrace's suggestion. If you believe in Him, what about reading the Bible (start with the book of John) to find out what He wants and ask for His help to understand?

 

This is not about a specific church, it is just about you and God.

 

The best to all reading this post, and the best to you in your search,

 

Jen

Edited October 31, 2010 by just Jenny

[StephanieZ]

I wouldn't consider taking my kids to a church that would teach them that their dad was going to hell.

 

Now, if it is something that you personally need spiritually, then I wouldn't discourage *you* from going there. But, not your kids IMHO.

 

I think that teaching a child that their parent is going to hell is so divisive that it is possibly even abusive to the parent. And the child. I believe that once you choose a partner to have kids with, you take on an obligation to raise the child in respect, affection, admiration for that parent. Raising them in a way that teaches them that the other parent is wrong/sinful/foolish/going to hell doesn't fit my definition of responsible parenting.

 

I am sorry if that feels as harsh as it looks to me when I reread it, but I can't find a better way to say it right now.

 

I don't know what you are looking for in a church, but I'd suggest that you compose a short list of questions that include the church's teachings on Jusaism & other faiths, and have a phone meeting with the pastor of any church before you take your kids to visit.

 

Have you considered converting to Judaism? Could that work for you?

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Yes, but the kids' programs are non-existent. There is also a Unity Church, which I am going to check out.

 

Do they have children who attend these churches? Maybe they just need a volunteer to start a children's program;)

 

I would try to pursue other avenues for friends for the kids such as YMCAs, 4H Clubs, JCC clubs, etc. You could also try to start your own:grouphug: I know how you feel since I have an only child and have gone to great lengths to do kid activities.

 

I don't this church would be a good fit at all. IMHO, I would check out any UU, Episcopal, Evangelical Lutheran Churches, Presbyterian, United Methodist, and UCC churches as well as Jewish congregations IMHO.

[CAMom]

 

In fact, He says that the majority of people will go there.

 

 

 

Jenny, could you give me a reference for this statement?

 

OP, :grouphug:. I'm sorry you're having a hard time finding a community since moving.

 

I would definitely be friends with someone who didn't join my church. I also have no problem having friends who are not Christians or who are Christians who don't believe everything I believe. I just want to say, however, that at least some of the things you mentioned-with one path to heaven being the most obvious-are non-negotiables of Christianity. I can't imagine you finding any type of mainstream Christian church that wouldn't teach that.

 

I do hope you find a community where you feel accepted and supported.:grouphug:

[HappyGrace]

could you give me a reference for this statement?

 

 

Not Jenny, but I happened to think of this one-Matthew 7:14

"But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

[HappyGrace]

one path to heaven being the most obvious-are non-negotiables of Christianity. I can't imagine you finding any type of mainstream Christian church that wouldn't teach that.

 

I do hope you find a community where you feel accepted and supported.:grouphug:

 

:iagree:

 

Much success on your search!

[just Jenny]

Hi CAMom,

 

I refer to Matthew 7:13-14 when Jesus says, "Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it."

 

I say "majority" based on the following definition: the greater part or number; the number larger than half the total.

 

Now I wish that I had not paraphrased it. Sorry.

 

Best to you,

 

Jen

Edited November 1, 2010 by just Jenny

[Rivka]

Thanks for your post. The Episcopal churches we've searched out here have no kids' programs, or basically nothing. Seems their congregation caters to the older people who live in Florida, not the families. I will try a UCC church--they have a strong AA program, an outreach program to homeless...these things appeal to me and make me thing it's a bit more liberal. The UCC church natiionally supports gay marriage, which a big deal for me.

 

I grew up in a UCC church, and it was a wonderful experience for me. I really like the way they ground their faith in social justice work.

 

I'm sorry that the UU churches near you don't have children's programs - that surprises me. It does sound like UU would be a good fit for your family - they're an especially good choice for families which include religious diversity and don't want their children taught that there is only One Way.

[Halcyon]

I grew up in a UCC church, and it was a wonderful experience for me. I really like the way they ground their faith in social justice work.

 

I'm sorry that the UU churches near you don't have children's programs - that surprises me. It does sound like UU would be a good fit for your family - they're an especially good choice for families which include religious diversity and don't want their children taught that there is only One Way.

 

 

Thanks! We're going to visit a Unity church (different from UU) and then revisit the UU church again. Here where we are in Fl, church attendance is very seasonal as is th epopulation, so maybe it will be bigger now.

[Jenn in Mo]

I don't think it's living a lie. The church states openly that they are open to all people, including those "on the path" and those "with doubts." I think there's room for disagreement, and coming together, even in a church.

 

Maybe I'm wrong though. I do think the "one path" is a deal breaker. I guess I just liked the people, am seeking a community, and have been having a hard time finding the right place for my family. I guess I just wanted it to feel right...but it probably isn't right. :sad:

 

I've only read to here so far, so someone has probably said this better than I could. But here are my thoughts anyway:

 

I believe the bible teaches "one path" and I would be happy to have you sitting in the pew beside me. I've learned lots from people who believe differently than I and it has helped me grow as a person. I doubt anyone there would mind that you disagree with the 'one path' and would just be happy you were joining them to listen to, participate in, and to consider the sermons and the worship.

 

However, knowing you believe differently about a basic tenet of my faith, I would not want you to teach my children in Sunday School. By the same token, I imagine you are not comfortable with people who believe differently about your faith to teach your children their theology. This one doesn't strike me as a minor disagreement. It's what my faith is based on....what Christ did for us all.

 

Also, this

I don't want the church in my bedroom, finances or parenting so if there were more of the same the next few Sundays I wouldn't be able to stay.

 

You see, I personally disagree with this completely. I would be excited to participate in a church that recognizes that the bible has something to say about all areas of our lives. I would be love to be encouraged in practical and personal ways. The reason I say this is to point out that one man's trash is another man's treasure and what might be a good fit for one might be a bad fit for another. This church sounds right up my alley. If I tried a church that taught many paths to God and didn't teach that the bible was applicable to my daily life...it would not be a good fit for me.

 

This part might sound strange, but I also do not want to just hear 'what I want to hear' all the time. I don't agree with my church's stance on free will, but it challenges me to dig into my bible. I also have different ideas about speaking in tongues/baptism in the Holy Spirit, but I think it pushes me to figure out what the bible really has to say....my ideas have changed through the years on many things and if I didn't expose myself to contradictory ideas, I doubt I could grow very much.

 

This is no real kind of advice though. I'm saying there could be a better fit for you somewhere else but at the same time, I'm saying that perhaps a bad fit could be a great fit for challenging study. :D