tex-mex Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Hey All, This is an update from my previous thread. MIL is not doing great, to be honest. She has 3 tumors in the brain. 2 are inoperable and 1 this morning was removed via surgery. Basically, the medical literature suggests that metastic melanoma (stage 4) spread to the brain is fatal. The doctors acknowledge there may be more melanoma in the spine or lungs at this point... but for now, that is not important. Once melanoma is in the brain, the prognosis is very grim. The onocologist is giving her 6 months. She is having to go thru whole brain radiation treatment after the surgery. I'm fine -- I'm really worried for my hubby (this is his mother and both of them have previously dealt with melanomas at stages 3 & 4.). Hubby should have died back in 1996 from his bout but God spared his life miraculously. FIL is doing the best he can with the circumstances. They both have a long road ahead of them with decisions and being there for my MIL in NM. Son and I are back here in TX holding down the fort and doing good. I am optimistic that God is in charge. Whether she goes to join Him in Heaven or stays here to be with us. But hubby is holding on to a bargaining chip with God that a miracle HAS to happen. I don't wish to argue (nor do I say anything to him -- I am venting privately here) but will support his wishes and pray for a miracle. God can do anything -- He sits in the heavens and does as He pleases. Deep down, I am a realist. I know MIL may not have much time left. I have suggested to hubby it is okay not to worry about us here at home. He needs to be there for his dad and mom. I think Hubby is so hyper-focused that he has no clue of what lies ahead of him with the weeks of radiation treatment. (I don't want to burst his bubble nor be the one to "wake him up" to what lies ahead.) It is only the first 3 days of MIL being in the hospital and I can tell already Hubby and FIL are mentally and physically fatigued when I speak to them on the phone. I am at a loss as how to help them. They don't want grandson & I to fly over and join them -- yet. Fortunately, the hospital moved them to a house for families of cancer patients next to the hospital. I like that as they have trained staff to deal with family members emotional needs. Hubby has dealt with some severe depression (i.e. suicidal one time months ago... but didn't go thru it... will not consider an SSRI) this year -- and now this with his dear mother. Oh boy. Folks, just a shout out for prayer for peace of God to surround my family if y'all can. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 This is so very hard - we went through this 2008-09 with FIL (no brain tumors - just cancer and a grim prognosis). Dh was hopeful for a miracle too, but dfil went to be with the Lord last July 3rd. I will definitely be praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 :grouphug:Sending prayers:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Praying :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I am praying. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Thank God your dh has such a strong, thoughtful, considerate, caring, and kind wife at home. :grouphug: I'll lift you all up in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 :grouphug: I'll pray for your entire family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Me, too--Monday am we'll lift you all up at my prayer group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 :grouphug: Prayers for you, the men and your MIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emonline Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 So sorry you are going through this - I am praying for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted October 30, 2010 Author Share Posted October 30, 2010 Me, too--Monday am we'll lift you all up at my prayer group. Thank you everyone. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 I saw the same desperation for a miracle from my uncle when my aunt was initially diagnosed. She had an operation that was wildly, wonderfully successful, and came out of it stronger than she had been in years. It was a wonderful interlude for us during which we could see the real person that had been repressed due to the brain tumor. During this time my uncle was in a frenzied pitch with regard to his faith. Given the apparent success of that operation, his euphoria was understandable. Within a couple of months, Lisa was ill again. This was unexpected. The tumor had mutated and grown aggressively. A second surgery left Lisa brain-damaged. The tumor was classified inoperable, and her condition is terminal. My poor uncle could not understand, could not cope. He rode the wave of his faith and euphoria of the previous months into a determination to get another miracle. He overextended himself badly, working hard, hard, hard to bring Lisa to the best doctors he could find AND be a father to his five children and even home school them along the way. He considered moving cross-country to a clinic that he hoped could save her. It was a frenzy that lasted probably about 18 months or more. It was sad and painful both to watch Lisa suffer, and to watch him killing himself to save her. There wasn't a lot anyone could do about it, either, except to come along the journey with them, cooking, babysitting, visiting, holding hands. It's so hard . . . so very, very hard. Just listen to your poor dh and pray with him. Don't try to rationalize with him. Reality will dictate what happens--just be there loving him with every twist of the emotional rollercoaster. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug: My aunt, who was like a second mom to me passed from a brain tumor in August. She had decided against treatment and lived about 4 months post diagnosis. She was comfortable and alert right up to the very end, thanks to the wonderful care of hospice. :grouphug::grouphug: Big hugs to you as you stand by your husband at this difficult time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Praying for you, your husband, your MIL, your FIL, and your whole family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 I'm praying for all of you! Wow, what a tough time! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug: My aunt, who was like a second mom to me passed from a brain tumor in August. She had decided against treatment and lived about 4 months post diagnosis. She was comfortable and alert right up to the very end, thanks to the wonderful care of hospice. :grouphug::grouphug: Big hugs to you as you stand by your husband at this difficult time. Thank you for sharing that about your aunt. I'm sorry for your loss. Your story of her alertness and comfort is giving me hope. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Oh I'm so sorry. This is such an awful situation. I pray that the radiation shrinks the tumors to bring her back to a mental state you all know, so you all can enjoy some good, quality time with her. Stay strong. We are all here for you!!!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 :grouphug: Praying for all of you and adding that your sacrifice, faith and understanding are so inspirational and I'm sure a great blessing to your dh. God is good in the middle of every situation. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Thank you everyone. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I think I understand exactly what you mean by believing in a God who can do anything but also being a realist. It's okay to pray for a miracle, just leave enough room for God to do what he deems right. His miracle may not be what you all want as a miracle. Or he may choose to perform the very miracle for which you are all praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 I think I understand exactly what you mean by believing in a God who can do anything but also being a realist. It's okay to pray for a miracle, just leave enough room for God to do what he deems right. His miracle may not be what you all want as a miracle. Or he may choose to perform the very miracle for which you are all praying. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I'm praying for your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I'm just now seeing this for the first time. Posts were last Oct and mine is the 2nd one today. What is the current status? I'll definately join in prayer for your mil, fil, dh and you.....update when you can. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 I'm just now seeing this for the first time. Posts were last Oct and mine is the 2nd one today. What is the current status? I'll definately join in prayer for your mil, fil, dh and you.....update when you can. :grouphug: Whoopsie. Apparently I shouldn't post w/out caffeine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted June 3, 2011 Share Posted June 3, 2011 :grouphug:prayers:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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