Jump to content

Menu

Is it possible for kids to have TOO many chores?


Recommended Posts

I heard an interesting Dr. Laura call yesterday.

 

The caller said that she had her nine year old daughter do certain things every day -- take a bath without being told, make her bed, dry and put away the dishes and "clean the living room," whatever exactly that meant. And she would like to have other things that the girl could do to earn extra money (on top of an allowance).

 

DL said, rather dryly, "Well, it sounds like you want her to be your housekeeper. She's not your housekeeper, she's a kid!"

 

I was a little surprised, because I didn't think that sounded like too much for a nine year old.

 

Then later that day, I saw a post here that said something like, "Years ago I read a lot of Raymond Moore, and I big on having the kids do chores -- too many chores, I think" and then she or someone else commented on putting chores over academics.

 

I rarely hear people being concerned that kids are doing too many chores -- usually the concern is the opposite.

 

So I'm curious -- anyone who feels they used to give their kids too many chores?

Do you know a family who you think gives too many chores?

What does "too much" look like?

Do you think the Moores put too much of an emphasis on chores?

Do you think homeschoolers can/do stress too much chores, not enough academics? And what does the right balance look like?

 

And sometimes I worry that I expect too much from my girls (who are nine and seven). Not so much that they have "too many" chores, but that I get angry at them when it's not quick or thorough enough. But yet I don't want them to be lazy and used to doing slip-shod work, either. It's hard for me to find the right balance. Does anyone else struggle with this?

 

Jenny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I"m not sure about "too many" (here anyway--I'm sure there are families that do that--maybe even us from time to time, but *right now* we're good, lol)--

 

But...I do know there have been times that I've realized that the dc couldn't realistically do all of their chores AND all of the school I wanted them to do. Esp when they've got a creative hair & want to do extra.

 

So I kind-of treat it like this. They have their set chores. They have their set school. If, in the afternoon, they're not getting to their chores because they're working so hard on school, I let it go. Usually, that means I do them. They're so focused they don't need me anyway.

 

Same thing in the mornings. If by some miracle they get up & get started on school so they forget some chores, that's fine.

 

I have a bigger concern w/ making sure they get enough play time. I go back & forth on that one, though--they're MUCH happier when their days are filled w/ school & chores & they really only have time to play in the van & on Saturdays. I've never done that to them on purpose--I try to give them an hour or more in the afternoons--but I can't help but notice how pleasant they are when there's not too much time for play.

 

They even commented after the move--they'd been playing almost every day for a week or more while I unpacked--that too much play time was sort-of exhausting them. They felt relieved when we got back to some kind of schedule. So far, that only means school. Chores are kind-of hit or miss (right now--since the move, I've been sick for a month).

 

But I also think that it's extremely cruel to tell (most) moms that they "want their kids to be their maids." If they're giving their kids too many chores (in someone's opinion), I don't think it's fair to attach to that mistake such a dark motive. We feel guilty enough as moms w/out adding that kind of weight to ea other's choices. :001_smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids do not do a lot of chores and here's why: I did a LOT of chores. From the time I was around ten years old and my mother went back to work PT, I was expected to do a lot around the house. I vacuumed, did laundry, started dinner, cleaned up after, and watched my brothers after school. By the time I left home at twenty, I was basically doing it all.

 

Lately, I'd been wondering why I'd get so p*ssed off when I had to vacuum, until one day I realized that I've been doing it for forty years - I'm done! My mother over-used me, imo. I expect my kids to help out, but with schoolwork and dance they have very little time. I don't expect them to spend it doing housework, and I don't want them to resent me later the way I resent my mother.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Um, yeah, my 9yo DD is my house cleaner.....she's not forced to do it though, but I pay her way less than a normal house cleaner. I can't afford the normal one :lol:

 

She gets plenty of free time...if she chooses to clean my house for $$, why is that a big deal?

 

Her normal chores: Empty dishwasher, set/clear table, sweep floor in DR and Kitchen, put her own clothes away, babysit little sis when I'm schooling boys.

 

She gets paid to "deep clean" each room in the house. I pretty much tell her what to do, and help her do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if I give mine too many chores. My almost 11 yo's have the following chores: (this is one boy's chart for Mon-Wed)

 

Monday

Kitchen Trash

Dust TV, Stand, mantel

Tidy your desk

Sweep or vacuum office floor

Clean your room

Declutter playroom

Clean upstairs toilet (this involves wiping the floor around it w/a wipe. Each boy does this every day w/a diff. toilet).

Pick up doggie poop in backyard

Outside toys and trash (this one doesn't happen all the time if there's nothing to clean up outside)

 

Tuesday

Dishwasher

Wipe Kitchen knobs

Clean kitchen toilet bowl

Declutter family room

Tidy your desk

Clean your room

Clear off stairs

Clean upstairs toilet

Outside toys and trash

 

Wednesday

Kitchen floor

Kitchen trash

Family room floor

Tidy your desk

Clean your room

Pick up hallway

Clean upstairs toilet

Outside toys and trash

 

They do some dusting, cleaning up floors, wipe off bathroom counter in their bathroom, and toilets. My 9 yo dd always feeds the dog and puts out the trash cans on trash pick up day. I'd love for someone to tell me if they thing these are too much. If my dc went to school all day, then the house wouldn't get so trashed so I feel like it's partly their responsibility to help put it back in order each day. Not that it does all the way each day. Most days it still looks a bit messy, but I suspect it would be a lot worse if nothing was done. Some days we are too busy to get many chores done, so we just play catch up on Saturday. If diligence rules the day then it takes them 20-30 minutes to do all of their chores.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, hmm. My 10 yo does more than that caller's dd, and here I've been thinking I wasn't requiring *enough.*

 

Now, there are days that she's exempt from a particular chore or another - i.e., on Mondays, she's gone most of the day, so she's not required to help tidy the playroom/schoolroom. On Tuesdays, she has trumpet lesson right after dinner, so she doesn't have to help clean up after dinner. I certainly make adjustments. That said, typically she has to:

 

- make her bed

- brush her teeth after each meal & before bed

- help tidy the living room

- help tidy the playroom/schoolroom

- tidy her room before bed (reshelve books, clear the floor)

- help clean up after dinner (usually involves sweeping or wiping the table)

- shower or bathe (though she's still firmly pre-pubescent, so she can get away with skipping this some nights)

 

And once a week, she has to clear her dresser & her desk in her room (they get piled up otherwise) and vacuum her room.

 

See, I've been thinking she needed to help with the cooking more, and start learning about laundry. She does have to put away her clean clothes.

 

My 5 yo is expected to help with the tidying and the after dinner clean up, and to brush his teeth with a reminder. He's also expected to help an adult clean his room, and put up his clean clothes that are folded (I hang his hanging clothes for him). He's taken on vacuuming the stairs as his personal chore.

 

We still get quite a bit of school done, they play outside, and have several outside activities. *shrug* I honestly thought of myself as slack!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I give my kids chores but my decisions on which ones and how many are heavily influenced by my childhood. I don't remember everything but two time periods are forever etched into my memory.

 

I started doing the family's dinner dishes by myself every night at the age of 9. It was a chore that I hated.

 

The last three years of high school, it was my job to babysit my mentally delayed (and he threw horrible temper tantrums and could really hurt you) every school day from 3:30pm until I was released. If I had somewhere to be, including school functions, I had to find someone to replace me. My parents would pay them. My dad rarely got home before 7pm, and I often had to continue taking care of him afterwards, including bathing him. I also cooked dinner every weeknight, and washed dishes every night. It was my responsibility to feed/water the chickens, dogs, and cats, and collect the eggs. I had to take out the trash and mow the lawn. Sometimes I had to do garden chores (water, pick tomatoes). I had to do my own laundry, which often required that I finish the load in the washer and dryer even though it wasn't mine. At times, I also had to vacuum, dust, and mop as well.

 

In between all this I was expected to keep up my grades even though I often didn't have the time to start my homework until bedtime.

 

I was never paid an allowance. My dad usually handed me $80 or so close to Christmas saying "Here's your allowance. Now go Christmas shopping (ie. buy gifts for your brother, mother, and me)."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if I give mine too many chores. My almost 11 yo's have the following chores: (this is one boy's chart for Mon-Wed)

 

Monday

Kitchen Trash

Dust TV, Stand, mantel

Tidy your desk

Sweep or vacuum office floor

Clean your room

Declutter playroom

Clean upstairs toilet (this involves wiping the floor around it w/a wipe. Each boy does this every day w/a diff. toilet).

Pick up doggie poop in backyard

Outside toys and trash (this one doesn't happen all the time if there's nothing to clean up outside)

 

Tuesday

Dishwasher

Wipe Kitchen knobs

Clean kitchen toilet bowl

Declutter family room

Tidy your desk

Clean your room

Clear off stairs

Clean upstairs toilet

Outside toys and trash

 

Wednesday

Kitchen floor

Kitchen trash

Family room floor

Tidy your desk

Clean your room

Pick up hallway

Clean upstairs toilet

Outside toys and trash

 

They do some dusting, cleaning up floors, wipe off bathroom counter in their bathroom, and toilets. My 9 yo dd always feeds the dog and puts out the trash cans on trash pick up day. I'd love for someone to tell me if they thing these are too much. If my dc went to school all day, then the house wouldn't get so trashed so I feel like it's partly their responsibility to help put it back in order each day. Not that it does all the way each day. Most days it still looks a bit messy, but I suspect it would be a lot worse if nothing was done. Some days we are too busy to get many chores done, so we just play catch up on Saturday. If diligence rules the day then it takes them 20-30 minutes to do all of their chores.

 

I like your list! It looks like a lot, but many of those chores only take a couple minutes, so, in practice, I think it looks totally reasonable.

 

I might steal it. :001_smile:

 

To the OPs question, I do believe there's a line that crosses over to too many chores. Where that is probably depends on the family and the ages/abilities of the kids.

 

As others have said, I make school the priority, chores secondary. I do know a woman who, I believe, does work her kids too hard on chore-things that take them away from schoolwork. She complains about all the missed days they've had because of "the house and the baby." She also works part-time from home, so does rely more heavily on her older kids but...their academics are suffering and I think they'll be worse off for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think the caller had too many really.

 

The chores my girls have revolve mostly around cleaning up after themselves and taking care of their things.

 

The three of them rotate through this list:

 

Kid laundry (I don't make them do mine or dh's)

Dishes

Trash

Cleaning their bathroom (but not ours)

Cleaning their bedroom.

And picking up after themselves in other parts of the house.

 

I feel like it's enough to ease my load, but not so much that there will be a huge impact on my housekeeping when they eventually move out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I see the local Amish boys, around age 9-10 years old, driving a team of mules and plowing the fields, I know kids have it easy and will always have it easy in our culture.

 

There's no such thing as too many chores, in my opinion. Teaching kids the principle of work is a good thing. Teaching them how to be a good housekeeper is a very good thing. I wish I was taught to be a good housekeeper or how to work. I was never given chores and never had to work for anything as a child. What a wake-up call it was to move out on my own and then get married! It's difficult to break old habits and it is impossible to teach principles you don't own. Still struggling on that one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you know a family who you think gives too many chores?

What does "too much" look like?

Do you think the Moores put too much of an emphasis on chores?

Do you think homeschoolers can/do stress too much chores, not enough academics? And what does the right balance look like?

 

 

Jenny

 

I know a family where the children are expected to do too many chores. The mother can be very overbearing, and even bosses OP's kids when she visits or is at the park with them. The mom works away from home, and leaves the kids at home alone while she works. The oldest is expected to take care of her siblings, cook lunch and dinner, do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, vacuum the house, basically ALL the housekeeping (enlisting the help of siblings). The mother does cook occasionally. When I asked her why she never does the cooking and/or cleaning she said, 'that's what I had kids for.' Seriously. She said that's the way it's always been done in her family, that she was her parents slave when she was a kid so she's 'done her time' and now her kids can do all the housework.

 

One of my childhood friends was given too many chores. She always did all the dishes, never had any help with them. She always had to cook dinner on weeknights because her mom wasn't home yet. She had to do laundry, and pretty much everything else. Her parents really talked down to her too. Her brother could do no wrong, she could do no right- even though he had no responsibilities and was older, and she was their slave.

 

In this situation, both parents really mistreated their children. Calling them names, expecting obedience to a ridiculous degree and humiliating them in public (or in front of visitors) if they are 'too slow' or they miss a spot vacuuming, or if they don't do anything 100% correct and it had better be done before the parent sees the situation again. (if they tell tehm to clean a room, it needs to be done before the parent enters that room again, etc.)

 

So, IMO, giving a child too many chores seems to be part of an abusive relationship in general.

It's one thing to expect kids to help out, and to expect them to clean up after themselves or do more when mom/dad is/are sick or something. It's another thing entirely to expect kids to clean up after the adults and do general household maintenance- only child labor ALL the time. Children aren't slaves, they are children and they need respect just as much as (if not more than) adults. WTH are these people doing when their kids are grown?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know a family where the children are expected to do too many chores. The mother can be very overbearing, and even bosses OP's kids when she visits or is at the park with them. The mom works away from home, and leaves the kids at home alone while she works. The oldest is expected to take care of her siblings, cook lunch and dinner, do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, vacuum the house, basically ALL the housekeeping (enlisting the help of siblings). The mother does cook occasionally. When I asked her why she never does the cooking and/or cleaning she said, 'that's what I had kids for.' Seriously. She said that's the way it's always been done in her family, that she was her parents slave when she was a kid so she's 'done her time' and now her kids can do all the housework.

 

One of my childhood friends was given too many chores. She always did all the dishes, never had any help with them. She always had to cook dinner on weeknights because her mom wasn't home yet. She had to do laundry, and pretty much everything else. Her parents really talked down to her too. Her brother could do no wrong, she could do no right- even though he had no responsibilities and was older, and she was their slave.

 

In this situation, both parents really mistreated their children. Calling them names, expecting obedience to a ridiculous degree and humiliating them in public (or in front of visitors) if they are 'too slow' or they miss a spot vacuuming, or if they don't do anything 100% correct and it had better be done before the parent sees the situation again. (if they tell tehm to clean a room, it needs to be done before the parent enters that room again, etc.)

 

So, IMO, giving a child too many chores seems to be part of an abusive relationship in general.

It's one thing to expect kids to help out, and to expect them to clean up after themselves or do more when mom/dad is/are sick or something. It's another thing entirely to expect kids to clean up after the adults and do general household maintenance- only child labor ALL the time. Children aren't slaves, they are children and they need respect just as much as (if not more than) adults. WTH are these people doing when their kids are grown?

 

Ok, I take that back. Maybe there is a such thing as too many chores. :tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I heard that call on Dr. Laura and I was irritated, too. I didn't think that girl had too many chores, either. My kids do a lot of chores. More than that girl, I think. I don't know if it will ruin my kids or not, but I need them to do it. They mess up the house all day, they will help clean it up.

 

I would feel like a slave if I cleaned while they sat around or played in another room. We try to all work together. Morning chore time, Evening chore time. It's not fun, but it's just something we do. It's better because we are all working together!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's possible, but more in line with the poster above me. IMO most comments like "that kid has too many chores" rarely reflect 'too many' for most kids/families.

 

We don't have set chores. It's more about chipping in when and where it's needed. Some days we have a lot to do -- including the kids! -- some days, not so much. Nobody (myself included) is ever always responsible for any one thing. This reflects my own upbringing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My kids do not do a lot of chores and here's why: I did a LOT of chores. From the time I was around ten years old and my mother went back to work PT, I was expected to do a lot around the house. I vacuumed, did laundry, started dinner, cleaned up after, and watched my brothers after school. By the time I left home at twenty, I was basically doing it all.

 

With me it was the opposite. My mom worked , sometimes p/t, sometimes f/t, and she thought it was more work to get/teach me to do the housework than to just do it herself. I'm sure I helped her along in feeling that way! :glare:;). But once I was married I had to learn from nearly zero how to cook and keep house. I hated doing those things as a kid (and I still do!), but I wish my mom had forced me to do more and to establish better habits.

 

So my kids help with housework. I don't feel it's excessive at all. They both make their own beds and do their own laundry. My ds keeps his room, not swept and dusted, but straightened up, on his own. Dd is usually in trouble with her dad for a messy room. (Myself, I don't cast stones ;)) They clear the table and empty the dishwasher every night. My dd wipes the table and stovetop each night, and my ds wipes off the bathroom counter and sweeps the kitchen. All of this takes them no more than 10-15 minutes. I wash the dishes and clean the countertops. We are all supposed to work together to do a "10-minute tidy" of the house each night, but in practice either I do it alone, or it doesn't get done.:tongue_smilie:

 

Once a week before school we clean the whole house. Ds cleans the bathroom (his choice of chore), dusts, and vacuums the basement. Dd vacuums the area rug, empties the wastebaskets, straightens the basement, and mops the bathroom floor. I mop, vacuum, and straighten everything else. Plus, we all work together on whatever monthly task falls to that week. It never seems to take more than a couple of hours. Are they my "housekeepers"? Well, they're partners in housekeeping anyway, and why not? These kids have hours of free time every day.

 

As for Dr. Laura....:thumbdown: Who made her the queen? She's primarily out for ratings and self-promotion, and her opinionated rantings are how she achieves that. Can you tell I don't think much of her ;). Apologies to those who do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I try to make a distinction between the chores and the abuse which sometimes go hand in hand.

 

I was expected to go to high school part time to raise my little brother, cook and clean house. I don't think that was as damaging as always being blamed and criticized about not doing any of it well enough. I also worked part time (when my brother had visitation with his dad) but any money I made belonged to my mother.

 

I wonder if I could have had the exact same work load, but have been treated with appreciation and respect. The work might have been positive if the attitude had been "We are in this together as a family, and we all have to work hard but we can trust and rely on each other." Instead of, "This is only hard because of you. My life would be so easy if I'd never had you."

 

My kids have a lot of chores. I could afford a maid, but I don't want to raise children who don't know how to take care of themselves. I also pay them for extra jobs.

 

I'm trying an experiment to see if chores can be positive when they are combined with plenty of gratitude and appreciation.

 

If I'm wrong, I'm sure my kids will be the first to tell me so!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Right now, I'm paying the price for not having my kids do their chores.

 

We spent several weeks traveling recently and when we got back, we were so busy trying to get back into the swing of school, that our regularly scheduled chores (from a great list I had put together and taped up in every room) just seemed to get ignored.

 

At this moment, my kids are in their co-op, and my one day to do something for myself is going to be spent with the washer and dryer going furiously and me cleaning and tossing like a crazy woman. Chores are a GOOD thing!

 

I do believe there needs to be a balance, but I also believe that kids need to learn NOW that life isn't a free ride, there is more to life than just academics, hard work will be rewarded, and that pulling your fair share in the workload of a household makes for a much less stressed out and resentful Mom (and therefore, a much happier household)!

 

Off to start another load of laundry...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do thing kids can have too much to do, BUT I do not think what the caller listed was too much. I also do not consider things like taking a bath a chore, it is daily personal care not a chore. I fall too much the other way. I require very few chores out of my kids, while I think they would benefit from more at the same time I just can't bring myself to assign them. I grew up doing far too much, far too early and still struggle with the frustration/anger when I clean of that. I do not want to pass that on to my kids.

 

Right now my kids chores are as follows: hang up their coats, help serve the food at mealtimes(changes each meal), help switch laundry when asked(so 1 may empty the dryer while another transfers a load from the washer to the dryer etc), once a week ds12 takes teh trash can to the curb, ds7 brings is back the house after the garbage truck leaves. Beyond that it is only when I ask for something specific like changing their sheets. Daily personal care includes shower/bath, brushing teeth and hair. Those things I do not consider chores.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest mrsjamiesouth
When I see the local Amish boys, around age 9-10 years old, driving a team of mules and plowing the fields, I know kids have it easy and will always have it easy in our culture.

 

There's no such thing as too many chores, in my opinion. Teaching kids the principle of work is a good thing. Teaching them how to be a good housekeeper is a very good thing. I wish I was taught to be a good housekeeper or how to work. I was never given chores and never had to work for anything as a child. What a wake-up call it was to move out on my own and then get married! It's difficult to break old habits and it is impossible to teach principles you don't own. Still struggling on that one.

 

 

:iagree: The only exceptions are where the mom expects the children to take over all the work. In the Amish community everyone is working hard.

I do not think children should have to babysit everyday for the parents either. Why is it ok for teens to babysit siblings every single day when we say teens shouldn't have babies because they are not ready? I do think you could have your teen watch siblings a couple times a month for you to go on a date or have a Dr. Appt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chores are important. They teach work ethic, initiative, and taking responsibility for your things. It's a time to pitch in as a family and make home a nice place to be, a welcoming and warm place. It can teach teamwork and cooperative work.

 

That being said, they are kids. We can't just expect them to become our housekeepers, cooks, doing the dirty work for us--I DO have friends who use their dc in this way and it's sad. Chores shouldn't supercede school work. There should be some free time built into the kids' days as well as chores. There should be time for family and friends.

 

I think a reasonable amount of chores is anywhere between 1-2 hours per day depending on the age of the child. My dc do about that much per day and it gives them plenty of time to do other things as well. We also build in Sunday as a day off for all of us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the difficulty at my house is that one child (the oldest) has more chores than others because she is more capable. But I don't expect what I should of the youngers too.

 

My kids do less than an hour a day of chores. They are somewhat responsible for their laundry (except oldest gets to do her own). Most of the stuff they do is connected to their own messes...ie. cleaning their rooms, picking up their junk, occaisionally hleping unload the dishwasher, and cleaning thier bathroom once a week.

 

I don't think that is unreasonable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So I'm curious -- anyone who feels they used to give their kids too many chores?

No. I'm on the other side of the fence - I gave/give too little, knowing it's too little.

Do you know a family who you think gives too many chores?

What does "too much" look like?

I did have a few acquaintances in my youth who pretty much ran their houses. Those were, however, special cases, pretty much parental illnesses, poverty, etc.

 

The rest of us grew up with little to moderate doses of chores, not too many. I did get a bit of a culture shock in the US, though, chores seem to be more emphasized. I grew up in the (sub)culture of very strict academics, but also of quite relaxed parenting, while the US seems to be the opposite, the culture of very strict, very disciplined parenting, but somewhat lax on the educational level.

I always feel like a slacker of a parent when I read dicipline and chores threads here, people take so seriously even very small children with regards to that aspect, so I guess it transfers to all of "life", but not to "school".

Do you think homeschoolers can/do stress too much chores, not enough academics? And what does the right balance look like?

I really think it's individual, depending on a whole lot of factors, from child's age to number of children in the house to parents' occupations to the size of the house to the presence or absence of maids, etc.

 

Personally, I can only speak about my situation. I emphasize not adding work to other people - which basically means cleaning after yourself, in a broad sense. Keeping your stuff clean, washing your dishes off, taking care of your own laundry, making sure to put back the things you've used, stuff like that - those are the basics and if everyone follows them, life is a lot easier. I don't tolerate adding work to other people, not even to the maid.

With regards to the actual chores, other than keeping their rooms and their shared bathroom clean, I'm a minimalist in that area. I do want to make sure they know how to do things, though, regardless of whether they actually have to do them or no.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, hmm. My 10 yo does more than that caller's dd, and here I've been thinking I wasn't requiring *enough.*

 

Now, there are days that she's exempt from a particular chore or another - i.e., on Mondays, she's gone most of the day, so she's not required to help tidy the playroom/schoolroom. On Tuesdays, she has trumpet lesson right after dinner, so she doesn't have to help clean up after dinner. I certainly make adjustments. That said, typically she has to:

 

- make her bed

- brush her teeth after each meal & before bed

- help tidy the living room

- help tidy the playroom/schoolroom

- tidy her room before bed (reshelve books, clear the floor)

- help clean up after dinner (usually involves sweeping or wiping the table)

- shower or bathe (though she's still firmly pre-pubescent, so she can get away with skipping this some nights)

 

And once a week, she has to clear her dresser & her desk in her room (they get piled up otherwise) and vacuum her room.

 

See, I've been thinking she needed to help with the cooking more, and start learning about laundry. She does have to put away her clean clothes.

 

My 5 yo is expected to help with the tidying and the after dinner clean up, and to brush his teeth with a reminder. He's also expected to help an adult clean his room, and put up his clean clothes that are folded (I hang his hanging clothes for him). He's taken on vacuuming the stairs as his personal chore.

 

We still get quite a bit of school done, they play outside, and have several outside activities. *shrug* I honestly thought of myself as slack!

 

 

I don't think that things like caring for your own junk/room/body should count as chores. I don't ask my kids to pick up my dirty undies so I don't expect to pick up theirs ether.

I also don't think that helping to cook or wash dishes should count either since they ate and used those dishes. Everyone is expected to help out with that stuff.

 

So by taking all that into account, I'm pretty slack too on my kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Of course it's possible for kids to have too many chores. Some kids are responsible for taking care of younger siblings, cleaning, shopping for food and cooking it. I don't think that many kids are in that position, but I don't think that's appropriate - it is expecting them to run the household.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think one distinction to keep in mind is comparing PS kids to hsed kids. PS kids have less time at home each day in which to complete chores, in addition to homework, after-school activities, etc. Most importantly, they are not home all day MAKING A MESS to be cleaned up!!! I see working together as a family to keep the house in order as another benefit of hsing. There is not the common modern distinction between the parents who work and provide for the children, and the kids who focus on academics and extracurriculars and little else. Hsing is a blessing to our entire family, but it means that we are all under one roof, all day, helping, teaching and caring for each other as needed. My kids understand that Mom cannot devote all her time to their education, and also pick up after them; it has to be a team effort.

 

My chores:

 

laundry

meal planning

grocery shopping

cooking most meals

2/3 of the dishwashing

household organization/decluttering

 

ds13:

2/3 vacuuming

2/3 dusting

trash/recycling

lawn mowing/snow removal

help with dishes

cooking meals 1-2 x per week

 

dd10:

1/3 vacuuming

1/3 dusting

clean bathrooms

wipe down kitchen

help with dishes

baking as desired

 

dh:

help with dishes

help with grocery shopping occasionally

home maintenance

auto maintenance

 

In addition, everyone takes care of their own stuff: cleaning rooms, putting clean clothes away, breakfast, re-heating lunch, putting away personal items left around the house, etc.

 

I am the home manager, assigning chores and making sure they get done, but I am not the maid, and implying that I am using my dc as my housekeepers, when they live here and make the mess, is ludicrous.

 

BTW, I was made to do very little as a child. Fortunately, my mom went back to work when I was in HS, and so paid me $20 per week (in 1989-90!) to do the laundry, vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms. Otherwise, I probably would not have learned these skills. It took me at least a decade of marriage to get over my feeling of entitlement, that hard/yucky/unpleasant work was for other people, not myself. I was definitely raised with the idea that school was my job, period. Why people think that kids, if never given adult responsibilities, will somehow assume them, graciously and proficiently, upon reaching adulthood, I'll never understand.

 

Kids deserve respect and not to be treated as slaves. They also deserve to be treated as productive and vital members of a household, capable of and necessary to the prosperity of the family unit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I heard that call on Dr. Laura and I was irritated, too. I didn't think that girl had too many chores, either. My kids do a lot of chores. More than that girl, I think. I don't know if it will ruin my kids or not, but I need them to do it. They mess up the house all day, they will help clean it up.

 

I would feel like a slave if I cleaned while they sat around or played in another room. We try to all work together. Morning chore time, Evening chore time. It's not fun, but it's just something we do. It's better because we are all working together!

 

:iagree: Our boys take care of some outside work like mowing and feeding the chickens. Our oldest dd waters plants outside and she and younger dd empty the dishwasher. We all get out at least a couple of days a week to tackle a big outdoor project. This last week was trimming all of the bushes. I consider those chores. Cleaning their rooms and picking up their stuff they leave around the house is not a chore (even though it may feel like it!). That is just part of living. It is not my responsibility to pick up after my dc. As I tell them, if you don't want to spend half the day picking up stuff around the house, then put it back when you are done with it. :001_smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know a few kiddos in big families (okay, just girls) who have way too much work load, and they end up not getting to have school time ever. I also used to know one family where the oldest dd did so much work that she only had time for school and that was it: no playing, no physical activity, etc. I think the vast majority of people err the other way, though.

 

My dc do a lot of work around our home; they also manage to do a lot of school work, learn a lot on their own, practice music for an hour or more a day, get in plenty of physical activity, read for hours, etc. What they don't do is sit in front of the TV or video games. I think that makes a big difference. It isn't as hard to fit it all in, including plenty of chores, when you don't spend those several hours on TV, video games, Facebook, texting, etc.

 

I've met a lot of wonderful people as adults who spent their childhood with way too much responsibility (absent parents, alchoholic parents, etc.) I think it is easier to turn out well on that extreme than it is on the other (no responsibilities.) If I had to be too much on one side, I'd choose too many chores rather than none.

Edited by angela in ohio
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, it is possible to have too many chores. I was one of those kids. When my mom went back to work I was 10 years old and I was expected to watch my 8 yo twin brothers, do all the regular housework, get dinner started every weeknight, wash dishes and clean up the kitchen afterwards, iron all my mom's clothes for the next week, take care of the animals and get straight A's in school. It was too much responsibility. I was anxious all the time.

 

I err on the side of giving ds too few chores...but I am trying to teach him to take care of himself and his things. His assigned chores are feeding the animals (4 cats, 1 dog), scrubbing down the bathroom counters twice a week and vacuuming once a week. Most nights he volunteers to help me in the kitchen though. And he's really good about putting things away in the right place once he's done with them. Even when they're things with a lot of small pieces.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If the number of chores mean the child is not able to focus appropriately on school, then it's too many. That situation depends on the child somewhat. Years ago I was a teacher at science magnet high school. The workload was huge. We had a student who was accepted and her parents supposedly insisted she be there, but they also insisted that she do all the kitchen work (cooking and cleaning) and babysitting every night. Adding in the commute to the school, it was impossible for her to keep up her academic work. However, for another kid in another school program the parents chore expectations may have been appropriate.

 

A more difficult problem is when child's chores require too much responsibility. Too much babysitting. Too much care for a sibling with special needs. A local church runs several programs for families with children with special needs. One program is geared to siblings and getting them away from some of the pressures. A social worker was telling me a 10 year old girl who was spending all her time with her brother being the one to watch him etc at places like a playground, intervening on his behalf and maintaining her brother's therapy schedules. That's a child who has taken on an adults and then adults in her life need to give her a chance to be a kid without responsibilities. JMHO

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I'm a slob, but I do the bare minimum to keep the place going. I would rather spend time doing just about anything else than have a perfectly clean house.

 

The kids don't do much. DS 8 takes out the recycling once a week and unloads the dishwasher daily. I expect the 5 and 8 year old to pick up after themselves. That doesn't always happen.

 

In terms of a schedule of dusting, vacuuming, etc. It just doesn't exist here. If the floor looks like it needs to be cleaned, I clean it. If the dust looks too thick, I dust it. Same with DH. If he sees something needs to be done, he does it.

 

The only thing I make sure of is that the dishes are clean and put away. I can't stand dirty dishes laying around. Other than that, nothing feels pressing to me. It gets done when it gets done. Half the time I think "what chores?" when people talk about chores.

 

You are my soul sister! If my dh were more laid back, this would be me! :D

(And may I just say that your avatar is my absolute favorite!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
I guess I'm a slob, but I do the bare minimum to keep the place going. I would rather spend time doing just about anything else than have a perfectly clean house.

 

The kids don't do much. DS 8 takes out the recycling once a week and unloads the dishwasher daily. I expect the 5 and 8 year old to pick up after themselves. That doesn't always happen.

 

In terms of a schedule of dusting, vacuuming, etc. It just doesn't exist here. If the floor looks like it needs to be cleaned, I clean it. If the dust looks too thick, I dust it. Same with DH. If he sees something needs to be done, he does it.

 

The only thing I make sure of is that the dishes are clean and put away. I can't stand dirty dishes laying around. Other than that, nothing feels pressing to me. It gets done when it gets done. Half the time I think "what chores?" when people talk about chores.

 

:party: Joining the party. This is so us. My kids do clean up their messes, their rooms, have a few chores. But we're pretty laid back around here. I think it's about balance. My mom always wanted a house that it looked like no one ever lived in which doesn't seem right in a house with kids.

 

I especially cringe when I think about one child being continually responsible for another child without desiring that. I think that's just sad for all the kids involved.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it's a matter of balancing, just like it is for adults. We can't be happy if we spend all our time serving others, but of course we wouldn't be happy just serving ourselves either. Kids need to learn stuff, they need to contribute in some way to their family and the wider world, and they need time to muck around just being kids. If the chores are severely cutting down on the other stuff, then they're too much.

 

Here, most chores are optional, and we don't have a roster or anything. We get the kids to clean their rooms once a week if they're too messy for vacuuming. (We were letting them have free reign over their rooms, but after some time I decided that it was a health hazard, so they are now required to keep a certain level of cleanliness and tidiness.) They are all expected to do very basic things, such as help set the table and clear their places when they finish eating, and we've been working on teaching them to put things away when they're done using them. Sometimes I'll put out a call, eg "I'm doing the washing up now, who wants to dry up?" and usually they volunteer. They love to do errands like dropping off library returns or picking up a parcel from the post office. Occasionally they want money and I'll pay them to do something that wouldn't normally be expected (eg cleaning the windows).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if I give mine too many chores. My almost 11 yo's have the following chores: (this is one boy's chart for Mon-Wed)

 

Monday

Kitchen Trash

Dust TV, Stand, mantel

Tidy your desk

Sweep or vacuum office floor

Clean your room

Declutter playroom

Clean upstairs toilet (this involves wiping the floor around it w/a wipe. Each boy does this every day w/a diff. toilet).

Pick up doggie poop in backyard

Outside toys and trash (this one doesn't happen all the time if there's nothing to clean up outside)

 

Tuesday

Dishwasher

Wipe Kitchen knobs

Clean kitchen toilet bowl

Declutter family room

Tidy your desk

Clean your room

Clear off stairs

Clean upstairs toilet

Outside toys and trash

 

Wednesday

Kitchen floor

Kitchen trash

Family room floor

Tidy your desk

Clean your room

Pick up hallway

Clean upstairs toilet

Outside toys and trash

 

They do some dusting, cleaning up floors, wipe off bathroom counter in their bathroom, and toilets. My 9 yo dd always feeds the dog and puts out the trash cans on trash pick up day. I'd love for someone to tell me if they thing these are too much. If my dc went to school all day, then the house wouldn't get so trashed so I feel like it's partly their responsibility to help put it back in order each day. Not that it does all the way each day. Most days it still looks a bit messy, but I suspect it would be a lot worse if nothing was done. Some days we are too busy to get many chores done, so we just play catch up on Saturday. If diligence rules the day then it takes them 20-30 minutes to do all of their chores.

 

To me, this DOES sound like a lot of chores for kids of that age.

 

The caller on that show, based on what was posted here, does NOT sound like a lot of chores for a kid of that age.

 

My daughter is 10 and she doesn't have a 'chore list' per se, here it works more like "if I need your help with something and ask you to come help, you come help."

 

The things she helps with on a regular basis include:

 

Helping to set/clear the dinner table

Helping to unload the dishwasher (silverware usually)

Taking out the kitchen trash when it gets full

Picking up toys in the main living areas

Putting away her own laundry (after I wash, dry and fold it) and sometimes her younger brother's laundry.

 

These things are usually at least a few times a week.

 

 

The things she helps with on an occasional basis include:

 

Vacuuming the living room

Sweeping the kitchen floor

Wiping the kitchen table and chairs

Cleaning her room.

 

These things are maybe 2-3 times a month.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I'm a slob, but I do the bare minimum to keep the place going. I would rather spend time doing just about anything else than have a perfectly clean house. ...

 

In terms of a schedule of dusting, vacuuming, etc. It just doesn't exist here. If the floor looks like it needs to be cleaned, I clean it. If the dust looks too thick, I dust it. Same with DH. If he sees something needs to be done, he does it.

 

The only thing I make sure of is that the dishes are clean and put away. I can't stand dirty dishes laying around. Other than that, nothing feels pressing to me. It gets done when it gets done. Half the time I think "what chores?" when people talk about chores.

 

This could have been written by me!

Because I work an outside job, I have streamlined the housework so that only necessary things get done, and we do not follow a schedule. The laundry gets done when there are enough dirty clothes to fill up a whole load (anything else wastes water and electricity -one of the reason I would not make my kids do their own laundry), and it's no big deal since the washing machine does the hard part of the work. Dishes are put in the dishwasher after each meal, and it runs when it is full. The house gets cleaned when it is dirty - not because it happens to be Tuesday.

This said, no my house is not disgusting; with ten minutes warning I could have my mother in law or my boss over for a visit and not be embarrassed.

 

My kids help out as needed. They are in charge of their rooms and their joint bathroom. They help set the table, clean up, empty the dishwasher. They are responsible for putting away their laundry. If we have big cleaning projects (such as readying the house for overnight company), everybody works together.

My DD likes to cook and sometimes volunteers to prepare meals or deserts.

 

I guess they do not have a lot of chores - but I don't find a lot of housework that has to be done on a daily basis.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think kids can have too many chores. I think parents can have the wrong attitude about chores. If parents use kids as serfs to do things for them because they just don't want to, the kids will pick up on that and it will probably cause relationship problems. If parents have kids do chores out of a sincere desire to teach their kids self-sufficiency and/or out of necessity, and treat their children respectfully, I think the kids will recognize that.

 

I recently started working because my husband's hours and pay got cut 25%. I work three evenings a week. I leave the house at 4:40 and don't get home until after 11. I sat down with my oldest dd (16) and told her that I was going to need more help around the house. She has school to worry about and regular chores, but I said I was going to need her to step up more and just take care of things she notices that need to be done. She grumbled a bit but I told her honestly, "Daddy is working on freelance work in the evenings and I will be at my job. We are trying to make sure that you and your brother and sister aren't too affected by our financial situation. In order for that to happen, we simply need more help." If she's all bent out of shape about that, well, tough cookies. I've never been of the opinion that kids are decorative. They are part of a family and a family needs to help of all members. Kids might not like that in the short term but I hope that I raise kids who recognize the value of family and responsibility to it.

 

Tara

Link to comment
Share on other sites

BTW, I was made to do very little as a child. Fortunately, my mom went back to work when I was in HS, and so paid me $20 per week (in 1989-90!) to do the laundry, vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms. Otherwise, I probably would not have learned these skills. It took me at least a decade of marriage to get over my feeling of entitlement, that hard/yucky/unpleasant work was for other people, not myself. I was definitely raised with the idea that school was my job, period. Why people think that kids, if never given adult responsibilities, will somehow assume them, graciously and proficiently, upon reaching adulthood, I'll never understand.

 

Kids deserve respect and not to be treated as slaves. They also deserve to be treated as productive and vital members of a household, capable of and necessary to the prosperity of the family unit.

 

 

:iagree: I had very much the same experience, except, I was never allowed to help around the house. The only thing I ever had to do was the dinner dishes on Sunday. And I gave my mother such a bad attitude about it that she gave up and didn't even make me do that. Boy do I wish she had put her foot down with me.

 

But on the other hand, it was always too much trouble from when I was little to teach me how to do anything. I was never allowed to be in the kitchen "in the way". I was always in the way. And never taught how to do anything. I also lived overseas and had the unfortunate priveledge of having a maid. A maid is good for the mother, but beware of how it comes accross to your children!

 

Imagine my dismay when I got to college in the U.S. and had no idea how to do my own laundry, make my own bed or fold my own sheets. I had no idea how to balance a checkbook or send a letter or package in the mail. I thought if I needed to send a package in the mail, I should just drop it into the mailbox and the post office would send me a bill. Seriously, I did that! How embarrassing! I know part of that is being a TCK (Third Culture Kid), but my parents were of the mentality that I'd just get it somehow, magically, when I needed it. I did not know my way around a kitchen and had no idea how to use a dishwasher or garbage disposal or anything. My parents just flew to the States 3 days before college started and dropped me off. That was it! :glare: (I am not bitter at being a Third Culture Kid and haven't turned my back on God or anything. I just won't do that with my kids.)

 

Well, God did put me in a situation where my college friends were gracious enough to help me through these things once they stopped laughing at me and realized I seriously didn't know anything! :lol:

 

And boy have I struggled now that I'm married and have kids. I honestly think that housekeeping has been my greatest struggle in our marriage. I have had to force myself to learn how to attack the humongous task of cleaning a house and I've had to realize that, yes, it is my responsibility to get a new roll of toilet paper when it runs out. Not just to wait for someone else to do it, because they never will. My wonderful husband been patient with me. He taught me how to clean the house, how to cook and I have grown, but it's been hard.

 

So, do I expect my kids to help around the house? I do, and I'm working hard at taking time to teach them, to give them the opportunity to be part of the family and to have a knowledge base and habits that will do them good for the rest of their lives. I believe my job is to prepare them for adult-hood--give them all the tools spiritually, academically and practically to be able to glorify God and serve Him to the best of their abilities. Instead of feeling like they are unable to face anything in life because nobody ever showed you how. And yes, I don't want them to have that sense of entitlement (that another poster mentioned). Boy, is that a hard one to overcome! But God has been my teacher in this too, and I want to pass that on a hard work ethic and servant heart to my kids.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think kids can have too many chores. I think parents can have the wrong attitude about chores. If parents use kids as serfs to do things for them because they just don't want to, the kids will pick up on that and it will probably cause relationship problems. If parents have kids do chores out of a sincere desire to teach their kids self-sufficiency and/or out of necessity, and treat their children respectfully, I think the kids will recognize that.

 

Yes, this.

 

My boys (10, 7, almost 6) each do as much or a little more than the girl in the call-in show in the OP. But they see their dad and I both doing housework too, and they know that the chores that they do around the house are valuable. They are a part of our family, so they take responsibility for the family space, and they free up Mom and Dad's time so we can spend it with them instead of cleaning.

 

Cat

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think there could be a point where kids have too many chores. Especially if there is just one child bearing the brunt of it. My kids do all of the kitchen clean up but there are 4 of them so between them it's not too bad. They put away their laundry and trade off cleaning bathrooms. We ALL pitch in to do tidying. If the mom is sitting around doing facebook while her daughter does all the work then yes, that would be bad. But I am betting that was not the case.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I'm a slob, but I do the bare minimum to keep the place going. I would rather spend time doing just about anything else than have a perfectly clean house.

 

The kids don't do much. DS 8 takes out the recycling once a week and unloads the dishwasher daily. I expect the 5 and 8 year old to pick up after themselves. That doesn't always happen.

 

In terms of a schedule of dusting, vacuuming, etc. It just doesn't exist here. If the floor looks like it needs to be cleaned, I clean it. If the dust looks too thick, I dust it. Same with DH. If he sees something needs to be done, he does it.

 

The only thing I make sure of is that the dishes are clean and put away. I can't stand dirty dishes laying around. Other than that, nothing feels pressing to me. It gets done when it gets done. Half the time I think "what chores?" when people talk about chores.

 

Whew! Someone after my own heart. We keep up with dishes and food mess and we do laundry regularly, but dust bunnies in the corners, books on every surface, and dust on the shelves - that's how it is around here. I always have time to read a story, though, and I cook six nights a week.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have fairly much no clue who Dr Laura is, but given the two threads I've read on her today, I suspect that her position is that we mothers should be at home and doing all that stuff ourselves.

 

I disagree with that premise and therefore it's likely she thinks my kids do too much too.

 

I thought that child in the OP did not have too many chores and is not being used like a slave.

 

I think that we all live in the house, we are all busy people and it is a shared family responsibility to keep our living space clean and tidy.

 

My children take turns looking after the kitchen, and each evening they clear up their own stuff, put their own clothes away, straighten one living room and do another small job like fold some washing, clean a bathroom sink or toilet or deal with rubbish or recycling. I'm comfortable with the level of chores they do.

 

I think there could be a point where kids have too many chores. Especially if there is just one child bearing the brunt of it. My kids do all of the kitchen clean up but there are 4 of them so between them it's not too bad. They put away their laundry and trade off cleaning bathrooms. We ALL pitch in to do tidying. If the mom is sitting around doing facebook while her daughter does all the work then yes, that would be bad. But I am betting that was not the case.

 

I agree.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think it really depends on the person.

 

I have a good friend who is 'slobby' by her own admission. Her parents are good people, but very no-nonsense. You had to be really sick to get out of any work. Term paper due? Test tomorrow? Tired from soccer? Didn't matter. She is still in recovery, and her place shows that conflict.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why are we even calling them "chores"? Isn't it just life? Since when are parents ever supposed to be servants to their children? In other cultures, kids are helping the running of the family business, and looking after younger siblings, from the moment they are physically capable. But it's not "work" as separate from the rest of life. It's life. Everyone has their role, their part in it all. We have the luxury of allowing our kids to really be kids, as well as get a good education, but we don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

 

I think our own attitude to "chores" turn them into "chores" rather than just living life and everyone pitches in to help. I know I have been shocked by my own kids' attitudes at times that somehow it was my job to do all the "work" so that they could just "play". And I taught them that attitude by my actions.

 

Yes, if an adult is a perfectionist and gets upset when their kids dont do their jobs perfectly....there is damage being done to that kids' psyche, because kids are by nature immature, and a parent's agenda and perfectionist tendencies can hurt them. But if a kid is expected to help at whatever level they are capable (without undue criticism ) no damage is being done. The kid is being helped to feel a part of the community he is being reared in, bcause he is contributing at whatever level he is capable.

 

I think it all depends on the attitude of the parents though, rather than a certain amount of chores being overload. I love the Moore's approach and done properly that is not unhealthy.

 

It's true we value education highly and so do other cultures where the kids have to help with the farm or the business ...they help when they get home from school, if they are lucky enoguh to go to school.

 

No, we are a spoilt culture, with a sense of entitlement, and it starts right from childhood.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Unless you're a Dugger, of course. :)

 

Why are we even calling them "chores"? Isn't it just life? Since when are parents ever supposed to be servants to their children? In other cultures, kids are helping the running of the family business, and looking after younger siblings, from the moment they are physically capable. But it's not "work" as separate from the rest of life. It's life. Everyone has their role, their part in it all. We have the luxury of allowing our kids to really be kids, as well as get a good education, but we don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

 

I think our own attitude to "chores" turn them into "chores" rather than just living life and everyone pitches in to help. I know I have been shocked by my own kids' attitudes at times that somehow it was my job to do all the "work" so that they could just "play". And I taught them that attitude by my actions.

 

Yes, if an adult is a perfectionist and gets upset when their kids dont do their jobs perfectly....there is damage being done to that kids' psyche, because kids are by nature immature, and a parent's agenda and perfectionist tendencies can hurt them. But if a kid is expected to help at whatever level they are capable (without undue criticism ) no damage is being done. The kid is being helped to feel a part of the community he is being reared in, bcause he is contributing at whatever level he is capable.

 

I think it all depends on the attitude of the parents though, rather than a certain amount of chores being overload. I love the Moore's approach and done properly that is not unhealthy.

 

It's true we value education highly and so do other cultures where the kids have to help with the farm or the business ...they help when they get home from school, if they are lucky enoguh to go to school.

 

No, we are a spoilt culture, with a sense of entitlement, and it starts right from childhood.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An only child will have more chores than a child with 8 siblings. But, that only child will have less to DO than the child with 8 siblings!

 

My girls have their own personal stuff to take care of (room, hygiene, put away their stuff, etc)

 

They also have one meal to take care of, and one room to take care of. They have set days where they bring me their laundry, and I will wash it. They put it away themselves. They also have set "school" chores to do: clean dry erase boards, pick up floor, clean tables, vacuum...etc.

 

My oldest is in charge of cleaning the bathroom, every day she has 3 things to do. Mon-Sat there is "extra" cleaning for the bathroom. I have this listed on a piece of paper in a sheet protector. She uses a dry erase marker to cross it off every day. She is also in charge of cleaning up after supper.

 

My other two have other rooms to do (living room and theater room), and their meals (lunch for the middle, breakfast for the youngest).

 

I am in charge of doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning the kitchen, my bedroom and my desk. Oh, and the cat! DH sometimes does some of these to "help out" but it's more annoying than anything... lol

 

If I had SIX children, then the chores would be separated differently, but there would be MORE of a mess in the living room, more to clean up in the bathroom, and more stuff to take care of after a meal.

 

I don't believe that there can be an accurate representation of how much "chores" a child does unless you know the whole situation. If there are a lot of kids in that house and only 1 child is cleaning everything, then YES that is too much. But, an only child doing 5-6 chores is nothing. Most likely if that child was NOT THERE, that chore would not need to be done in the first place! Except for the occasional dusting and vacuuming, if everyone picked up after their own selves the world would be a better place. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, if all a child is doing is housework all day, then I'd say that's too much. Each child has 1 chore to be done on a daily basis (one boy sets the table, the other takes out the trash), besides clean-up right before bed. That the whole family participates in. The boys do their own laundry each week, and have a weekly chore. I'm trying to think of more. These chores don't take much time at all during the day and I think it's important that they participate in keeping the house running smoothly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree w/ pp's I think it has to do more with the attitude in which it is done. If it is a situation where mom and dad on their butts or out partying or what have you while the kids are doing the work then, yeah, that is too much. I look at it as that we all have to pitch in-we all work together. My kids are still young but my goal is that we all work on doing whatever needs to be done together and everyone is responsible for their own personal care. I am still working while have the kids help, obviously, mine are only 6 and 3.5. I very much feel it is my responsibility to teach them how to do these things. I think it is a big source of pride for them to be helpful, even at their young age.

 

I am nodding in aggreement as well with a lot of the pp's. I do think our culture is entirely backward when it comes to kids and responsibilities. It is no wonder we have so many spoiled, lazy adults. I like the Amish ideal as well in that they consider work to be their playtime, that is often how is growing up. I remember how much I enjoyed working together as a family. I also think for my kids as well that behavior is better when time is more structured. I think we pander too much to kids and try to make the world revolve around them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...