Homeschooling getting "too popular" in our area?

[avdelp]

So many times I hear of homeschoolers who struggle with meeting other hs'ers in their area. They don't have the "benefit" of co-ops, enrichment classes, local graduations and homeschool sports leagues. Well, my area has all of these things in spades. Since our family began homeschooling, our local numbers have increased exponentially along with the number of "opportunities" for students.

 

I'm beginning to think that hs'ing in our area is looking more like public schooling all the time. Frantic schedules, peer pressure, cliques, high school drama, and poor study habits seem to be becoming the norm. The enrichment classes and coops are woefully sub-par and ridiculously expensive. Parents who don't enroll their kids often feel that their students are "missing-out." Our hs sports league is huge and the time commitment is unbelievable (sometimes they travel 2hrs or more for regular games). We now have jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, cool kids, etc.

 

Ugh! I was hoping to get away from all this when we started homeschooling 7 years ago. It seems like our area is abound with extra-curricular opportunities for hs kids, but the academics are getting left behind. It is so discouraging. At my oldest's hs graduation last June, only 3 or 4 were going off to college. Most were dabbling at the cc or trying to find work. A couple "ungraduated" themselves so they could play in the sports league or take co-op classes again! The standards seem to be sinking as the opportunities and numbers are rising.

 

We used to have a great "core" group of very academic homeschoolers around here. Since their kids graduated (and went to Ivy League and competitive schools, BTW), we seem to have taken a very unacademic turn. Sorry for my rant. I'm feeling very frustrated this week. We are trying to keep our standard high, but feeling like there is no support around here for our type of homeschooling. Ugh!

[FaithManor]

We only have one large homeschool group in our area. We have never been a part of it because I don't want to be dealing with the scheduling and inevitably, the people who will look down on us for being classical homeschoolers. (Yeah, we get that a lot...the eye roll, the "oh, your poor kids", etc.) But, my sil takes her 3rd grader and it is just ludicrous to me the how high school, mean girls, jocks, bullies, etc. the whole thing is and somehow because it is painted with the brush of "homeschooling" the parents don't seem to care. I guarantee you these same people would be against that type of socialization anywhere else.

 

We do 4-H and lead our own club so we control the size and the group dynamics. We also choose very carefully what larger group activities we are willing to be involved with for 4-h. It works and without all of the drama for the kids.

 

Faith

[Excelsior! Academy]

:iagree:

 

Those are some of the reasons we haven't joined any of those things.

 

Frustrating, isn't it?

[Julie in MN]

I agree with not joining all of those things -- I don't see how it can be called "home" schooling if you're not schooling your own children. I think our state support group even took a stand on that.

 

But as for some parents raising cheerleaders and the like, I've always maintained that homeschooling is no different than public schooling, but sort-of in the reverse of what you're saying. I just think that parents/families will run the gamut. Some public school parents could care less about academics, or about character for that matter. Attendance is the only thing that public school parents can be held accountable for. So what I've always asked is, Why regulate homeschoolers as if they should somehow be different?! I've just been around enough families, as a Girl Scout leader for over 10 years and in other ways parenting over 26 years now, that I expect parents to vary :)

 

But I'm glad you're raising your kids to care about some of the things I want my kids to care about.

 

Julie

[BlsdMama]

We're now in an area (after homeschooling for ten years) where homeschooling is popular.

 

I think it's outlook. Do I look to the co-ops or extra-curricular activities to EDUCATE my children? No. So am I disappointed if they don't do things as I would? No. They're extra. They're fun. They're enjoyable.

 

That said, we have one day a week out of our house. This is completely new to us and I'm loving it. But if someone is hoping for enrichment classes, co-ops, and others to educate, I have to wonder why bother to homeschool? :)

 

If you're looking for like minded mamas, they're out there, but they're at home educating their kiddos. You're probably not looking in quite the right places i.e., co-ops and "joiner" groups. Your best bet is probably to find someone near you online at a like minded forum. :)

[avdelp]

Thanks for your input ladies. Good points. I definitely agree that homeschooling runs the gamut. Sometimes I just get discouraged. I also agree that the like-minded homeschoolers probably are are home doing their schooling, so they're not as obvious in the hs community. We do some outside classes with a wonderful teacher one day a week (Latin and literature). He is an amazing instructor who prepares the kids well for AP tests, the problem is that the vast majority of kids don't take the work seriously (but, of course that isn't my problem). I try to stay away from a lot of the hs groups, but then I feel like I'm just being a snob and that I should try to be a better "neighbor." I am really thankful for this board!!!

[johnandtinagilbert]

I know what you mean. There are over 7000 home schooling families in my county and yes, they run the gamut. I am very mindful of the groups we join and why we join them. You're so right, they can easily turn into public school renamed. There are even a couple of families where I really enjoy the mothers (as grown ups go), but we're so different in our schooling and child rearing, that our kids don't get together at all.

 

I will say, my return after 2 years off into a small coop, intending for fun gatherings only and only a time or two a month, has brought a strong classical influence into the group. I've turned on 4 of its members to TOG and 2 to PR. Some people actually want a solid classical lean, they just don't know how to find it. Most of them haven't even heard of this forum GASP! :svengo:

 

I hope you can find something that settles both your desire for richness and the loss of the social garbage. I don't like the garbage either, yet even at church, a place where you'd hope to find safety, it exists. I'm grateful we at least have them throughout the day since we choose not to co-op school.

[Stacy in NJ]

It's about what you and your family value - education. Our culture/society, whether homeschooling or not, doesn't value education as much as you, or me for that matter, think it should.

 

There are many, many parents who send their kids to ps or private schools who put tremendous value on education.

 

Your mistake is in thinking that other homeschoolers should reflect your values.

[Stephanie/MO]

I have been homeschooling for 19 years. In the beginning, the homeschoolers in our area were above average in goals academically. Now, I am seeing the opposite. In fact, several families let their kids get so far behind that they had to send their kids back to school. Two families sent them to a private school where tutoring was available because the kids were that far behind. It's sad. What started out to be a great movement is quickly disintegrating. Our coops are great "fun" for the younger crowd. (Fine). But nothing with academic rigor for the middle grades on up - when parents might REALLY need it!

 

It is sad, frustrating, sad, and more frustrating.

 

Blessings,

Stephanie

[Mom22ns]

Thanks for your input ladies. Good points. I definitely agree that homeschooling runs the gamut. Sometimes I just get discouraged. I also agree that the like-minded homeschoolers probably are are home doing their schooling, so they're not as obvious in the hs community. <snip> I am really thankful for this board!!!

 

:iagree:

 

There are about a dozen homeschool co-ops in my area and TWO sports leagues both offering a variety of sports including cheer. The only thing we participate in is a homeschool orchestra. I find that most of the parents there don't participate in any of the other stuff and many are classical or at least have classical leanings. The co-ops don't teach what I want taught and are no where near rigorous enough. Homeschooling is BIG here. I'm thankful for the opportunities, but I too find that the other like-minded homeschool are mostly home quietly doing school. I love being able to come here to connect.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

That's interesting. I belong to a large group (around 215 families) and (so far) haven't seen that in our group, or at least not my friends. In my state we homeschool as a private school and though we could file our own affidavit (to be our own private school) most people belong to some kind of ISP or Umbrella School. Maybe that's why our families aren't just made up of people who want co-op/etc stuff for their children. We are associated with a private Christian school and Jr High/Sr High students can take a couple of classes and do sports at the private school but most I know don't do that. There are several programs (BIOLA has a program locally, I-CAP co-ops, etc) but we've never been interested in them. I think BIOLA is very good (I think their Torey Academy is an honors program) but I don't know about the rest, and have never checked them out because we just aren't interested. Our group also requires SAT testing beginning in 6th grade for accountability. Obviously they aren't perfect when it comes to assessment but it prevents kids from slipping through without being properly homeschooled, which I'm sure has an overall effect on the group because someone who doesn't want to educate their child won't join.

 

Right now my 2 high school students (9th and 10th grades) belong to our homeschool ASB (associated student body) and while several of the kids do sports I haven't seen any of the typical high school stuff. Now, my kids are boys and peer pressure has zero affect on them because they don't care what others think of them so they might not see subtle things but I go to most of the events and haven't seen any of the high school stuff.

 

This is our 11th year homeschooling and this year is the first year I've enrolled a child in an outside class. It's a small, fun, science class for elementary students (my dd is 7) that meets once a week and happens to meet at my church. While it's been lots of fun for my dd (they learn through experiments and projects) I won't be farming out her education. That's just not us.

 

I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and sorry for my long post. I was trying to explain why my group might be different in case that would help you find one that is right for you. Depending on the laws in your state there may not be the types of groups that are in my state. There are some groups in my area that are just for "fun" and "support" but I've never joined them because I think the atmosphere is more like you describe.

[Julie in MN]

This is our 11th year homeschooling and this year is the first year I've enrolled a child in an outside class. It's a small, fun, science class for elementary students (my dd is 7) that meets once a week and happens to meet at my church. While it's been lots of fun for my dd (they learn through experiments and projects) I won't be farming out her education. That's just not us.

 

Yes, that's kind of an oxymoron for me -- a contradiction of sorts: I like good academics, but I don't like them in a co-op. I want to teach my kids at home.

 

So when I go to a co-op, I don't want them to teach my kids. I want them to provide things I can't, such as phy ed, science fair, nature center, maybe public speaking, and lots of time for kids to just interact away from their parents. I really don't like co-ops that assign homework, because we are busy with academics at home.

 

I wonder if my fellow co-op-mates of the past thought I wasn't very academic :tongue_smilie:

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Yes, that's kind of an oxymoron for me -- a contradiction of sorts: I like good academics, but I don't like them in a co-op. I want to teach my kids at home.

 

So when I go to a co-op, I don't want them to teach my kids. I want them to provide things I can't, such as phy ed, science fair, nature center, maybe public speaking, and lots of time for kids to just interact away from their parents. I really don't like co-ops that assign homework, because we are busy with academics at home.

 

I wonder if my fellow co-op-mates of the past thought I wasn't very academic :tongue_smilie:

I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or if you think something I said contradicted itself, LOL, but think our styles are probably similar. My dd is taking the class for fun :-)

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

I just remembered that when my older boys were about the same age as my dd that they took an art class and a ceramics class (different years) for fun so I guess I lied about it being the first year we've enrolled in an outside class :001_huh::lol:

[i.love.lucy]

I wonder if the dumbing down comes from the fear of creating an academically rigorous environment at home. So many people it seems want their kids at home but just don't know how to keep it rigorous. They don't believe they are equipped. So they either don't require it and get too loosey-goosey, or they farm it out.

 

My hs group has quite a few classical moms in it, so we enjoy sharing with eachother the fact that academics are important to us. Others are either CM (also keeping up with academics) or more textbook/k-12 type, and also seem to place an importance on rigor. But it's a small group. I'm sure my horizons would be widened to more styles if I joined more groups.

 

I just don't want to get to the point where I look down on new homeschoolers (and I realize that's not what this thread is about). I'm still pretty new, 2 years, and I am still SO grateful to the couple of moms who took me by the hand and helped me get started. They didn't look at me like I was the latest to jump in on some kind of fad. I hope I never get like that. Homeschooling might be getting more and more popular as public school culture declines and private school gets more expensive, but I still think those moms have a sincere heart to educate their children. What they need is the maturity of those that have gone on before them to show them they don't need outside classes and creating a public school environment to do it well. They just don't know yet that they don't need all the cheerleading, and sports, and extra classes. They can do it themselves and shape the character of their children.

[Julie in MN]

I can't tell if you're agreeing with me or if you think something I said contradicted itself, LOL, but think our styles are probably similar. My dd is taking the class for fun :-)

 

I confuse myself, sometimes. Ask my kids :)

 

My earlier post stated that I really agree with Alicia not joining up. But then your post got me to thinking... I wonder what other folks would think about the things I *do* join -- those definitely NOT being academic???

 

Just wandering around in my thoughts,

Julie

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

I confuse myself, sometimes. Ask my kids :)

 

My earlier post stated that I really agree with Alicia not joining up. But then your post got me to thinking... I wonder what other folks would think about the things I *do* join -- those definitely NOT being academic???

 

Just wandering around in my thoughts,

Julie

:lol: Gotcha :001_smile:

[tex-mex]

I do agree with you on the coop issue. Recently had to withdraw my son from a science class due to the teacher not being trained well to teach the subject. It was frustrating.

[justamouse]

that's exactly why I stay far, far away from that stuff. I left the rat race for a reason.

 

a coop is facing the same exact problem a school faces--they have to teach to the middle--and the same problems are going to happen.

[Murphy101]

:iagree:

 

Those are some of the reasons we haven't joined any of those things.

 

Frustrating, isn't it?

 

 

Yes. Me too.

 

The only things I outsource are extracurricular. The inky academic I would like to outsource is a foreign language, and I can't find any I feel are academic enough.

[74Heaven]

I did outsource Spanish and high school Latin but I was able to attend (with my high school dtrs) an academically rigorous classical co op. The exact kind I'd like to join LOL.

 

So, I actually prefer to co op academics because it "takes something off of my plate". This may have to do with homeschooling 5 children and feeling completely under pressure at all times. It also has to do with transitioning my students to be accountable to someone else.

 

So, my thing is generally "fun" in the younger years at co op and "academic rigor" where ever I can find it in the high school/jr high years.

 

But you do have to be choosy and know what you want from the co op and what you are willing (or able) to deliver as well. I am currently teaching two Latin classes in a co op, requiring homework, working several hours a week to be prepared and enjoying it immensely. (And offering Latin to approx. 20 students who wouldn't have it otherwise :).

 

Lisaj, whose did not co op when she had kids in diapers and toddlers and preschoolers :)

[Kareni]

I'm still pretty new, 2 years, and I am still SO grateful to the couple of moms who took me by the hand and helped me get started.

 

... Homeschooling might be getting more and more popular as public school culture declines and private school gets more expensive, but I still think those moms have a sincere heart to educate their children. What they need is the maturity of those that have gone on before them ...

 

I know exactly what you mean. Many of the helping hands that were offered to me came from other posters on this board. I'm still grateful to them.

 

Regards,

Kareni