just started and already lost my way

[ange]

Hi, I'm new to hsing 4 (K, 1st-special needs, 5th and 6th). My oldest 2 spent 4 and 5 years in private school and rec'd an excellent education there. I thought I knew why I was doing this, but I can't come up w/ an answer. I feel completely ill-equipped and unable to provide them w/ the education & challenge they need. I feel like I took them out of something better than what they can have at home. I have not figured out the practical part of hsing yet - it is going very poorly, but it bothers me even more that I don't feel I have a purpose in doing it. How do I stop the downward spiral of self-doubt, guilt, and anxiety? Thanks to anyone that reads this.

[....]

Howdy, Ange. :seeya: We just got home from co-op, so kids are exhausted and I'm chillin'. :001_smile:

 

Have you read The Well-Trained Mind?

 

You're looking for reasons to homeschool? What were your original reasons for pulling your kids out of private school?

 

The first year of homeschooling is usually a disaster. :glare: The second year is much, much better (well, it was for us). Also, don't try to recreate public school (or private school) at home. You only have 4 students, so you are going to have a lot more freedom than a classroom teacher would have.

 

Have you read about the different kinds of homeschooling? Classical, Unit Studies, Charlotte Mason, Traditional, Waldorf, etc?

 

Another good book for starting out is Cathy Duffy's Top 100 Curriculum Picks. I like this curriculum also: www.oakmeadow.com And here: http://www.coreknowledge.org/

 

Also - look for co-ops and homeschool groups. Is there a homeschool support group in your area? A lot of homeschool groups have Park Day, where the kids get together and play for a couple of hours. Our homeschool group also has field trips.

Edited October 27, 2010 by starrbuck12

[ange]

thanks for the advice and encouragement....when we decided to HS it was in hopes that it would give us more of a connection to our kids (as we would have more time to spend w/ them) and that we would have the time to focus more on discipleship. The private school was great, but they were gone all day, spent all night w/ homework & getting ready for school the next day - we just felt a little detached. I guess when you are just thinking about HSing and not actually *doing* it yet it is easy to get idealistic about it and see it as all rosy sunbeams, and not see all the hard work, prep, organization, and patience and energy it takes. Private school was a very demanding one, so my oldest was really stressed out in only 5th grade. It also would be above our $$$$ ability to put all 4 through. Private school was a classical school, so I am only familiar w/ that model and tried my best to follow their model as they have done it when I pieced together the curriculum for each child. It's a lot to do w/ 4. I have considered that I am trying to re-create school at home, but then I think that is what we are doing, school, and I want it to be structured, to have importance, to have depth and not just be "fly by the seat of our pants". At this point, I feel I need to completely revamp everything - I question every choice I made for curriculum. But I know that can and does happen to about everyone in the early process of figuring out your HS. I guess I feel disoriented and need to re-focus, but its so hard feeling so inadequate. I'm sure there is a big lesson in this for me. Maybe I've got more to learn than my kids at this point! (Make that - yes definitely I have more to learn than my kids)!!:tongue_smilie: Thanks for letting me blab, vent, question, etc.

[Halcyon]

Can you post what curriculum you're using, and perhaps what a typical day looks like at your house? It really helps during the first year of hs-ing to focus "on the basics" and not get too caught up in the "extras" (not that I think they're really "extras", but for the first year or so, you can consider them such!)

[heart'sjoy]

Hi ange,

 

You've come to a great place to brain storm.

 

when we decided to HS it was in hopes that it would give us more of a connection to our kids

 

Your reason to homeschool is my number one reason too. I felt fuddle headed and wheel spinning the first year too.

 

What has helped me the most is to lay out small goals that lead to what I want to see most. Then write down choices that will lead this direction on a list for the semester or even on a calendar as a potential plan. I usually do this twice a year.

 

One decision for us was to do the same Latin even though my oldest could go regular speed, we're going 2/3 normal and the middle is keeping up, me, mom is learning and making vocab cards too, and youngest is joining in without the writing. I've felt, "Oh, no I'm short changing the oldest, I'm pushing the middle too hard, and I'm ignoring my youngest" all at various times. But this decision fit my goals, the alternative would have been dd do Latin online alone, not a good fit for her at this time.:grouphug:

[gratefulmother]

We love homeschooling because we can choose curriculum for our children that we think they will learn the most from; because of all the free time the kids still have to play, be creative and read; and because it allows us to stay more connected as a family. In other words, our lives aren't revolving around a school schedule or what everyone else at school is doing. I don't know if any of these reasons are similar to yours or not, but I thought it might help to remind you of why you decided to go this route.

 

For us, having a two-day a week tutorial has been our saving grace. The kids and I enjoy our three days at home together, but then they enjoy being at school with the other kids on the other days. I also enjoy the fact that they are accountable to someone else on those days other than me. I know that not all areas have something like that available, but it might be worth seeking out.

 

I know for me, when I see my children having time to pursue something they are really interested in, even when it just seems like "play", I am happy that we have made this decision, because I feel like they are realizing who they really are at an earlier age than I ever did because I was so busy watching what everyone else was doing around me at school.

 

Hope that helps! And don't worry, bumps along the road are normal and sometimes it takes years to really hit your groove.

 

Blessings!

[ange]

Can you post what curriculum you're using, and perhaps what a typical day looks like at your house? It really helps during the first year of hs-ing to focus "on the basics" and not get too caught up in the "extras" (not that I think they're really "extras", but for the first year or so, you can consider them such!)

 

6th grader is taking American History and Literature/ Comp. in a co-op. He had a rough time in saxon math last year, so I thought we needed to backtrack and try something different, so I got CLE 5 for him. Turns out the private school had him doing saxon 7/6 in 5th grade, the entire book in one year. CLE 5 i think is too easy for him, so I just ordered saxon 7/6 for him to do again w/ the DIVE cds. Since CLE only goes thru 8th grade I thought we might as well stick w/ saxon. He has had high school level grammar by the end of 5th grade in private school, but I did get CLE LA 6 for him to use so his diagramming skills don't get rusty. Both he and my 5th grader are going to a Latin tutor once a week (she is catching up to him while he gets practice translating and review). I will be taking over Art w/ the 6th grader next semester. Science is Exploring Creation thru Human Anatomy/ Phys. Both he and my 5th grader will be doing this. My husband is in charge of this and they have just gotten started basically. I also purchased WordBuild for vocab but have yet to use it with him or dd5th grader.

 

5th grader is in a IEW writing class in co-op, and several music and performing arts classes. I haven't started literature w/ her yet. I purchased Teaching the Classics, but I have to learn it myself I guess - I haven't gone thru the DVDs yet. I just ordered a progeny press lit guide for Tom Sawyer so we can start *something*. She is an excellent reader, but hates to read (or write). I made the same mistake w/ her for math, so I have ordered saxon 6/5 w/ DIVE cds for her. We have barely touched history - MOH Vol 3 Renaissance/ Reformation. I got this to follow the history timeline she has been on from private school. Also got all the resources to supplement it. Trouble is we never seem to get to it. All she wants to do is hands on projects, so that is likely why we don't get to it - those take extra time. Already mentioned latin, science w/ big brother. Also got her CLE LA 5 to keep her sharp onher diagramming skills, but not focusing on it as she has had so much grammar already.

 

1st grader has some learning difficulties. He still could not put sounds together to make a word after 2 years of kindergarten, incl. private school that did riggs. We have made some progress using ABCD and he is now sounding out some 3 letter words. I also have him doing Earobics regularly. So that's phonics. Haven't pushed handwriting since reading is the big issue. I purchased cursive First as i heard it helps dyslexics (we suspect he might be dyslexic, he is ADHD). Have not even attempted it. Got him CLE Math 1. Realized he did Saxon 1 last year (and he seems to be at ease with math). Now realize he likely needs saxon math 2, so that has been ordered. Science - dad is using My Body to adapt the Anatomy course the olders are doing - they just started that. Haven't done any of the great art projects I had planned:tongue_smilie:. Poetry - got some poetry books w/ cds. Haven't used these recently so I should pull them out again. Where i am really missing the mark is reading aloud to him and lil bro(K). That just gets forgotten somehow. Music is w/ dad but ds is throwing fits about piano so we will probably switch to a recorder or let him try what he wants. Have color the classics too, have done vivaldi so far w/ 2 yonger boys.

 

Kindergartner age 5. He loves to sit w/ his Horizons math k workbook and do page after page. I am also using ABCD with him, but I think he's bored w/ it. I actually purchased PR for both boys - but after ds7 struggle w/ reading even after riggs (he knows every phonogram and all its sounds, just can't put them together) I thought something that focuses on only a few sounds at a time would work better. Was thinking about pulling out PR for ds5, but wondering how to fit it in. I already do phonics w/ each boy separately due to the learning issues of ds7 but can my brain handle 2 different phonics programs?

 

Guess that's the major stuff. Our schedule...well there is no regular schedule, at least not one that works in real life. I have written out many, many schedules. Have yet to have the schedule on paper ever look like our actual day. As of now, I think I need to teach the younger boys in the morning, then focus on the older kids in the afternoon. It's been a disaster trying to work w/ them all at the same time. I walk around w/ 4 different TMs in my hands moving from child to child.:willy_nilly: However, i have to work around some limitations w/ afternoons as Monday afternoons are eaten up w/ dd piano lesson & older kids latin tutoring, and 5 afternoons a month I still work outside the home. (is there an "insane" smiley I can insert here). I have no idea how to fit in chores (although I came up with helpful lists of chores for the kids where chores are assigned points..found that tidbit on this great forum). I have no idea when I am to go grocery shopping or fit in doctor appts. (there are health issues in the family) and when do I cook dinner unless its out of a crock pot everynight? So I was cleaning bathrooms at 11pm tonight. I guess that covers the "schedule".:tongue_smilie:

 

Sorry this became so long, but I do very much appreciate anyone that has taken the time to read my babble and offer advice!

[missesd]

Hi, I'm new to hsing 4 (K, 1st-special needs, 5th and 6th). My oldest 2 spent 4 and 5 years in private school and rec'd an excellent education there. I thought I knew why I was doing this, but I can't come up w/ an answer. I feel completely ill-equipped and unable to provide them w/ the education & challenge they need. I feel like I took them out of something better than what they can have at home. I have not figured out the practical part of hsing yet - it is going very poorly, but it bothers me even more that I don't feel I have a purpose in doing it. How do I stop the downward spiral of self-doubt, guilt, and anxiety? Thanks to anyone that reads this.

 

I took my 1st year off. And now 5 years later, I am JUST starting to feel like I truly have a handle on things. Of course I wanted it sooner, but all things come in time. We learn with them.. patience, resilience, perseverance, creativity, the ability to dig down deeper, pray *some more*, and to go back to the drawing board find a shred of strength with a sigh and find something else. We have all been there... hang in there. I am sure they are others who have been at this longer (classical ed) who can give you better pearls then this :grouphug:

[ange]

Reading all the wonderful encouragement here, and I am wondering about how you all set a "standard" or if you do or not. I mentioned the private school was very demanding...the standard was very high both academically and spiritually, so I am wondering if I by comparing myself to that standard I expect too much. So where do you all set your standard for academics, spiritual focus, housework? I have always been an "over achiever" but I did want to actually enjoy homeschooling. I want my kids to have to reach and be stretched academically and spiritually....I also want them to know how to budet their money and clean a house....but I also want us to enjoy this short time of childhood together. Since I demand so much from myself, perhaps I set myself up to feel like a failure no matter what. I don't want to pass down that feeling to my kids either. Can anyone relate to me?:confused:

[missesd]

Spiritually, is set by the standards of our church. We are LDS, or Mormon, so it's pretty cut and dry. We have our Word of Wisdom to handle a lot of the health standards, that helps when you are talking about drinking, smoking, etc.... We have Family Home Evening once a week, to help reinstate avlues within the home and church doctrine. We have church on Sundays, 1 hr for Sacrament, 1 hr of Sunday School, and then 1 hr of either Priesthood for the men, 1 hr of Relief Society for the women, 1 hr of Young Men for boys 12 and older, and Young Women's for girls 12 and older. There they talk about modesty standards, and a lot of subjects our youth have to deal with today. Children 12 and younger go to individual Sunday School classes, by age group. Then mid-week we have Mutual activities for the youth, sometimes it's all together, and some times it is broken up so the boys can work on a scouting or service project, and the girls can work on their Personal Progress in becoming young women. Plus daily, there is Seminary for all high school aged kids early morning, morning scripture and prayer time, the blessing of the meals, and then the same in the evening. Now these, are just the goals. What we *hope* to achieve every day, it doesn't mean we do. It's like a blueprint, daily our biggest thing is to work on achieving them.

 

So that help set my spiritual focus. Now I have to ask, have you read TWTM all the way through? I ask this, not to insult you, but because I am wondering why you are not using that as your own educational blueprint, instead of holding yourself up against so private school, with more money and more arms then you. I, too, am an over achiever. And I find when I feel I can not accomplish all I need/want too, I give up rather then being unhappy I did not meet my goal. TWTM is going to be hard for me this year. To help I have completely let go of vocabulary and spelling for 14 on up. I have also gone with a much easier foreign language. I have also done away with logic/rhetoric for now. This is our first year doing WTM, and almost the end of my 5 year homeschooling. I am concentrating instead on Math, back to the basics in Grammar, and working the 4 yr time periods in History and Science. If I find I can handle more, and we get into a "groove" I will look at adding some of the things I am cutting. Coming here, setting it all out there- what I was going to buy, etc... REALLY helped me weed out what was needed, what was not, and what I could wait on. Honestly, that alone has been my saving grace!! I thank God, time and again for having made that post and gotten all the wonderful advice I did.

 

As for the "real world" basics. I come from 4 years of foster care. So I knew long ago, I would be teaching my children some of things I took from that journey with me. I started teaching my kids "Home Ec" at 12. I taught them family recipes, and then we branched out into learning new things entirely. Now, we rotate... every child from David on up has dinner 1 night a week. I also did rotation teaching them cleaning in each area of the house. Now after years of practice and going over and over again certain things, they take 1 room in the house. That is their daily chore, to make sure it stays maintained throughout the day. Then on Saturdays they do a deep cleaning of that area. I have those that have been so good with chores, they get to pick their choice of assignment. Then I have a couple that no matter what I do, are just lackadaisical, and I constantly have to move them and revamp things to try and get what I consider to be decent level work. They will not be here forever, and as a woman who has been married to men who came from ill trained homes, I will not set that upon another woman. On the same token, I want my daughter well set on what she will need to do to run her own home one day, in whatever way she and her husband agree on.

 

When my eldest boy was in middle school, we did a project. He had to get a paper, and find some jobs. Then he had to apply for those jobs, and learn a bit about resume` making. Then I interviewed him. I used to be a manager, but it really isn't that hard at all. Then I assigned him a job. Some of them had math he had to do, other had other skills required. After that, we got apartment guides, and he looked for a place. He had to figure out how much he could afford, what his approximate cost of living would be, and how to budget it all. Then we ran a mock check book, and I would tell him "oh you bought this today, don't forget to put it down". It was a good run for life, and he say real quick how quickly a little will go. This year he is doing Algebra II, next year he will be doing a consumer math/accounting course to help prepare him for the world out there.

 

You'll find your role as their teacher changes, just as it does in parenting. The "fun" is in the elementary years. Then you begin guiding them in the middle grades. Ultimately high school is about preparing them. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy the journey along the way. By all means... I love and adore my teenagers!! It just means that the fun becomes more mature ;)

[ange]

Now I have to ask, have you read TWTM all the way through? I ask this, not to insult you, but because I am wondering why you are not using that as your own educational blueprint, instead of holding yourself up against so private school, with more money and more arms then you.

 

I read some of TWTM way back when my oldest was a baby. At the time, the schedules and stuff for older kids did not apply to me so I just browsed thru that. I just pulled it off the shelf again and am browsing thru it. What you have pointed out is something I have been questioning myself. I have tried to follow what the private school was doing because I didn't want to change everything up for my oldest 2 after 4 and 5 years of that schedule. I don't know why I didn't think to see how TWTM compares. :001_huh: I'm reading it again now...:D

[missesd]

I read some of TWTM way back when my oldest was a baby. At the time, the schedules and stuff for older kids did not apply to me so I just browsed thru that. I just pulled it off the shelf again and am browsing thru it. What you have pointed out is something I have been questioning myself. I have tried to follow what the private school was doing because I didn't want to change everything up for my oldest 2 after 4 and 5 years of that schedule. I don't know why I didn't think to see how TWTM compares. :001_huh: I'm reading it again now...:D

 

Good, cause I think you'll find that in reading it you will find an inner confidence and deep seeded commitment that you didn't have before. The saying "Knowledge is Power", definitely applies here ;)