s/o Pop Culture thread: dealing with mixed company/cultural literacy

[MomOfOneFunOne]

I haven't responded to the Pop Culture thread but I do limit my daughter's exposure to it where I can. No, we don't have cable or watch network television. Some rare exceptions are a PBS special here and there or a football game with Dad (but that's pretty rare since I have no tolerance for the advertising and Dad has to be too vigilant with the remote to enjoy the game!) With books she reads what I consider good or excellent literature plus some stuff of her choice but I have veto power (things like Geronimo Stilton, Nancy Drew, et c fall into this category). We don't struggle much here b/c we've done it this way from the begining. I am open with my girl about the whys and wherefores of choosing to go this route and mostly she's on board with me.

 

But sometimes . . .

 

Say she is in a play at the communnity theatre and those kids come from every walk of life. It seems that EVERY ONE of them had read, done, heard, watched, been to, owned everything we don't. It's really not that bad but it seems magnified at these times. Sometimes theres a joke or a reference we don't get. Sometimes I get it and my girl doesn't; sometimes neither of us gets it. Sometimes this makes my daughter mad. Of course she's never mad at them, she's mad at me for drawing the lines where I have.

 

The last time she was in a play I think every single one of those children had read the Twilight series. I told my girl she could read Dracula to get a frame of reference for vampires but we started listening to it together and found it too scary to continue! That was a nice discussion b/c we could compare what we knew of the two books (not much admittedly) and talk about good v evil and portraying evil as good, et c.

 

Still, though, what about cultural literacy? For those of you who do limit pop culture, how do you prepare your children for the invariable reference that leaves them clueless?

 

I'm not suggesting prepare them by have Popular Culture Studies in your homeschool but more on an emotional level.

 

I remember maybe last August, Miley Sirus came to town. My daughter knew this name and that she was a singer (from the kids at a play she was in) but didn't know the name Hannah Montana. At orchestra, someone asked the group if anyone was going to see Hanna Montanna. My girl said, "Who is Hanna Montanna?" She got such a strange reaction from the girls. Some of it was down right hostile, some pitying, some indifferent. I wish I had prepared her with some kind of phrase or something to answer with. Nothing nasty, just . . . I don't know. Like DARE in schools that arms kids with phrases to use when offered alcohol or drugs, "No thanks, I like to be in control" or something like that. Nothing really superior or mean but that asserts that it's okay not to participate in that and show that she's okay with it.

 

How do you deal with this? Do you have a strategy? Ever wish you had one?

 

There are some scriptural references that we have talked about and sometimes I think of having her use one but then again, if it came across as holier than thou, it wouldn't be good.

 

I'm honestly searching for kind, affirming ideas.

[The Girls' Mom]

My oldest dd, who has chosen herself to take no heed to popular music and trends, usually says something along the lines of "oh, well, I'm just not into that really." (she's also known to ask them if they know XYZ and proceed to tell all about them..lol) This may work for your dd or it may not. My dd kind of makes a point to be weird and different, so it works for her.

Edited October 27, 2010 by Apryl H

[Mama Geek]

I am coming from my own experience, not what I have done with my dd (since she is only 4 mo.) Growing up we didn't have cable, I watched a little network TV and listened to country music (at the time it wasn't very popular). Yes there have been lots of times that I was clueless about movies, tv, music etc., in school and even in work, but I always had other things that I could talk about with people. I've have almost always walked to the beat of a different drummer. I don't think it has hurt me to not be on top of all the pop culture out there. This sounds like it might be a great lesson on individuality with your dc.

[LibraryLover]

My kids know of these things, but they are not *into* these things. They have seen Hannah Montanna, but they are not interested, and they don't care what some kids like, and they are certainly not damaged if they don't understand something They can ask me or Google it themselves. (Well, ok, they enjoy the series Avatar (which is not the movie). That is certainly pop culture.)

 

Sometimes I think we make things a huge deal to kids when we forbid and restrict access to anything that smacks of popular culture. (And everything is popular cutlure. I don't care if your kid likes BBC sitcoms...that is still part of pop culture...just a little further from Kansas. Christian Rock is popular culture.)

 

Restriction and forbidding *does* work for some families. Great. Not talking to those folks.

 

But then there are kids who get upset, or who go overboard and can't find a middle ground.

 

This is why I channel Artistole...moderation in all things was a good message back then, and it is a message that works for me. ;)

 

Let the world in a little...so you can discuss it. Our children are not on their own. We are here to guide and talk about sensitive issues with them.

 

PS I am fixing my Aristotle typo here.

Edited October 27, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Sophia]

If you are going to be countercultural, then you just need to explain that to your dd so she's not taken off guard by not being in the know.

 

The scripture verses will help her understand your family's reasons for doing what you do, but I wouldn't necessarily have her share them with others in response to why she's not participating in the latest trend.

Unless she's really well versed in apologetics, I think that's setting her up for discussions she may not be ready to engage in.

(I'm assuming your dd is middle school age, not older teen which is different.)

 

At young ages, my dc just expect to be different, so reactions just earn(ed) a shoulder shrug from them.

Speaking from our experience, your dd's reaction to being identified as different, will determine whether other kids will let it go or make a big deal out of it.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

My oldest dd, who has chosen herself to take no heed to popular music and trends, usually says something along the lines of "oh, well, I'm just not into that really." (she's also known to ask them if they know XYZ and proceed to tell all about them..lol) This may work for your dd or it may not. My dd kind of makes a point to be weird and different, so it works for her.

 

Well, you know, I like it. It isn't mean or condemnatory, states a fact. Good for her.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

I am coming from my own experience, not what I have done with my dd (since she is only 4 mo.) Growing up we didn't have cable, I watched a little network TV and listened to country music (at the time it wasn't very popular). Yes there have been lots of times that I was clueless about movies, tv, music etc., in school and even in work, but I always had other things that I could talk about with people. I've have almost always walked to the beat of a different drummer. I don't think it has hurt me to not be on top of all the pop culture out there. This sounds like it might be a great lesson on individuality with your dc.

 

Like you, my little chatter-box never lacks something to talk about with just about anyone I could think of! She is definately engaging. Still, you're right, having her prepared and embracing her individuality is the best approach and when those comments/topics/jokes come up, they won't catch her so off guard.

 

thanks!

[MomOfOneFunOne]

If you are going to be countercultural, then you just need to explain that to your dd so she's not taken off guard by not being in the know.

 

The scripture verses will help her understand your family's reasons for doing what you do, but I wouldn't necessarily have her share them with others in response to why she's not participating in the latest trend.

Unless she's really well versed in apologetics, I think that's setting her up for discussions she may not be ready to engage in.

(I'm assuming your dd is middle school age, not older teen which is different.)

 

At young ages, my dc just expect to be different, so reactions just earn(ed) a shoulder shrug from them.

Speaking from our experience, your dd's reaction to being identified as different, will determine whether other kids will let it go or make a big deal out of it.

 

hmm, i'm not sure why but I've never thought of us as counter-cultural. She's quite accustomed to the way we live and likes our lives, I guess, b/c she's quite a happy kid. She's a pretty good apologist for her age but that isnt' really what I'm looking for for her. right.

 

You're right about her reaction. I do find that this defines the response more than anything. That's why I'm trying to help her frame her response for the next time.

[Mrs Mungo]

This is why I channel Aristotle...moderation in all things was a good message back then, and it is a message that works for me. ;)

 

Let the world in a little...so you can discuss it. Our children are not on their own. We are here to guide and talk about sensitive issues with them.

 

:iagree:

 

Personally? I allow my kids options. Eldest read the first 2 Twilight books. I told her she wouldn't be allowed to read the fourth before she started. She read them because her friends (mostly Christian homeschoolers) were reading them. It's not great literature, not everything they read has to be. She didn't bother to read the third because she got kind of bored with them. I choose to let her learn some of those lessons on her own. Yes, Edward is creepy. Yes, the writing is subpar (to put it mildly). She figured these things out.

 

It's sort of like the theory of not saying no to a toddler. Books suggest saying "yes, you may have that later," instead of saying no. They suggest saving no for when it really counts.

 

My oldest dd, who has chosen herself to take no heed to popular music and trends, usually says something along the lines of "oh, well, I'm just not into that really." (she's also known to ask them if they know XYZ and proceed to tell all about them..lol) This may work for your dd or it may not. My dd kind of makes a point to be weird and different, so it works for her.

 

I think it's a good answer. And truthfully? Everyone can't be into everything.

Edited October 27, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[LibraryLover]

So then you realize that was a typo. Aristotle. lol I should go fixxx thhhaths.

 

:iagree:

 

Personally? I allow my kids options. Eldest read the first 2 Twilight books. I told her she wouldn't be allowed to read the fourth before she started. She read them because her friends (mostly Christian homeschoolers) were reading them. It's not great literature, not everything they read has to be. She didn't bother to read the third because she got kind of bored with them. I choose to let her learn some of those lessons on her own. Yes, Edward is creepy. Yes, the writing is subpar (to put it mildly). She figured these things out.

 

It's sort of like the theory of not saying no to a toddler. Books suggest saying "yes, you may have that later," instead of saying no. They suggest saving no for when it really counts.

 

 

 

I think it's a good answer. And truthfully? Everyone can't be into everything.

[LibraryLover]

I don't disallow pop culture and I do partake at times. That said, I still often feel out of the loop when I'm around mixed company. So either I'm not spending enough time on it, or really there is just so much out there one could not keep up and for whatever reason I'm not into the same things as other people around me. The same goes for my kids.

 

 

I looked at the Elite test on another thread, and I had to stop reading the post, and was too embarassed to read the thread. The only one I knew was the face of the guy who does the price is right...which, for a long time, I thought had been cancelled ages ago. So I am not 100% pop culture literate and can't be part of the elite. I am ok with that. lol

 

But there are some things I do know. :auto: lol I am not ashamed. Nor are my kids. (Although my oldest is a voracious reader and knows what's going on everywhere. He's also a Comedy Central fan.) He is the holder of the most arcane and absurd information. I don't need Snopes when I have him. He's a writer, and a lover of history. What's history but old pop culture?

 

I do think some work demands a greater knowledge of pop culture. If you are an actor or writer, or a talented graphic designer and want to work in advertising, you need to know. You need to read People. ;) If you write editorials, a comic strip writier, if you are an anthropologist...;) There are many areas where an excellent working knowledge of popular culture is critical. Some of the most intellectual people I know have an understanding of popular culture. The issue of pop culture isn't so much that you're ignorant of it or knowledgeable about it; it's whether you know what garbage is and isn't. Understanidng pop culture means you know what to reject for yourself. If you are unable to distinquish or decide for yourself what is junk and what is worthy, you are more likely to be wrongly influeneced by mass/pop opinion when you do come across it.

Edited October 31, 2010 by LibraryLover

[6packofun]

Yes, this is similar to what we offer, although our kids are probably at least *familiar* with what other kids are talking about. Their standard answer is usually, "I'm not really into that too much, but I do like (fill in the blank)" so that they can at least offer something of their own so that they don't sound like they are completely without interests! LOL The good thing about adding something of their own interest is that many times, it turns the tables in a gentle way so that the OTHER kid is the one (usually) not knowing what our kid is talking about! They like to add something such as, "You should check it out! I bet you'd like (fill in the blank)" about it, too. They can offer to bring something THEY are interested in to share or at least show others when they go to these activities, as well, if that's something they're comfortable doing.

[Mejane]

My oldest dd, who has chosen herself to take no heed to popular music and trends, usually says something along the lines of "oh, well, I'm just not into that really."

 

Great response. It doesn't judge the other person's choice, just clarifies her own.