Growth-spurt zombies

[Danestress]

Any tips on dealing with a 12/13 year old growth spurt zombie? He's a nice kid, intelligent, used to be cheerful. He is very very dedicated to his sport (tennis) often playing 4 hours a day and also working out twice a week with resistance. He plays in tournaments and travels for them. So "lots of exercise" is not necessarily the resolution we need, and in fact I am concerned that maybe he is just trying to do too much.

 

He also takes violin lessons and is in a Latin class.

 

He's just exhausted all. of. the. time. It's like his brain is just switched to "off." He can't concentrate. He can learn the same Algebra point three days in a row and still not know it. He forgets EVERYTHING. He didn't used to be that way. I know what ADD looks like, and he's not ADD. But his brain is a sieve right now, and when I confront it, he always says he is just sooooo tired.

 

He says he sleeps great. Usually from 9:30 - 7:30 or 8:00. He can't go to bed much earlier than that because he shares a room with his twin, who swims the late shift. He's also just crabby and morose in a way that is not his natural personality. He's so much more withdrawn than his brothers at the same age.

 

I don't know if I should just indulge the sports and figure his brain just needs time off, or if I should cut back on the athletics and try to "train" his brain. We are having a lot of mildly hard days.

[Mejane]

Such a tough age. My son had a terrible couple of years from 12-14. He's becoming himself again at almost 15.

 

It sounds like your son has a lot on his plate, and coupled with the hormonal issues, it may be too much right now. Maybe curtail some of his activities for awhile and see how it goes? Frankly, ten hours of sleep may not even be enough. My son would sleep for twelve hours some days.

 

Good luck!

[Leanna Tomlinson]

We have been through this. Here are a few things to consider:

 

Could there be some new environmental factors?

Fall allergies?

Mold/Mildew in the room? (Boys are notorious for gross things hanging out -like wet towels under the bed growing "white fur")

New Paint?

New detergent/fabric softener?

Are there deodorizers in the bedroom?

(All of these have proved to be a problem for at least one of my boys and affected their energy levels.)

 

Could he possibly have sleep apnea?

Is he intaking caffeine? Junk food? Sugar? Try to decrease these. They really can affect sleep patterns.

 

When my 16yo is in basketball, I have to make sure he gets LOTS of protein.

 

My 16yo is now 6'5". He went through three of years of being tired. We both had to be diligent to make sure he got enough whole foods to eat and 9 hours of sleep.

[Danestress]

Such a tough age. My son had a terrible couple of years from 12-14. He's becoming himself again at almost 15.

 

 

 

Three years of this? I'm going to die!

 

My oldest was probably this way too, but it was less noticeable because he was not involved in a sport and had been sort of a "slacker" personality all along. I think I notice it so much in this son because he has always been a cheerful and compliant child. Before now. And really, he's still basically compliant. He really really loves his tennis and tries to do what he has to do in order to be allowed to play. But this is killing us both!

[AK_Mom4]

When DS14 was that age, he was training 5 days a week in martial arts and was dragging each day, even with 10 hours of sleep. I started feeding him more often (he's a skinny thing) - lots of whole grains, veggies, protein for snacks. I would make sure he had mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks. Cheese and sausage on crackers was a favorite.

 

It seemed to help him get through the growth spurts and wake up enough to do his school work. Last year was tough, he grew over 6 inches in 7 months, so I really do feel your pain!

[elegantlion]

This is both ds and I today, those days where you can literally see the brain cells slipping away into oblivion.

 

We combat it in a few ways:

 

- extra rest, ds fell asleep in school a few times last year

- good nutrition

- some days I just look at him and know there is no point in attempting anything that requires deep thought.

- healthy exercise

 

I try to roll with it. If he were in a brick and mortar school he'd have to just deal with it, but he's not. We've had a tough week and I try to prioritize what has to get done, what would be nice to get done, and what would be foolish to attempt that day.

 

I'm finally learning that when we have a good day, especially in Latin or math that we can do extra. We have a real ebb and flow to our consistency, not what I'd prefer, but the brain fog does lift and he usually comes back stronger.

[Danestress]

I agree that the idea would be to roll with is mental punches - to have the wisdom to know what work will get done and what should be let go, to know when he's in a productive frame of mind and when he's not.

 

It's really hard for me, though, to just declare a day a wash, especially becuase he had a twin brother who isn't always on the same track.

[Leanna Tomlinson]

I forgot something.....

 

I got this recommendation from Dianne Craft's DVD: Essential Fatty Acid supplements. Many children, especially boys, are deficient in EFAs. I started my son on an Omega 3, 6, 9 supplement and he can really tell a difference in his concentration. We've gotten to "test" this twice when he ran out. He started going downhill after about four days without them!

[JFSinIL]

no help here - but I LOVE your term "growth spurt zombie"!!!

[elise1mds]

Honestly, I think just sleep, patience, and a lot of review are going to be your friends. I'm not there yet, obviously, but my own kiddo has ADHD, and it's completely unmanageable when he's growing. Right now he sleeps from 9 p.m.-6:30 a.m., we wake up, eat breakfast, go take his sister to school, then we come back home and he sleeps from 8:45-11:15-ish. Today I woke him up at 11:50. I fear the teen years to come.

 

I also have talked to several friends who teach those middle-school grades, and some of them just throw up their hands and admit that all they can do is review and review and review some more because the kids' brains are just so 'off' that they can't handle anything new. I personally had a sixth-grade teacher (my favorite teacher EVER) who joked that she would rearrange the desks just to watch us run into them because we had no motor control at that age, let alone retention abilities. She worked hard to make as much of our work hands-on as possible so we'd retain it, and it worked beautifully, but it was social studies, which made hands-on plans easier than, say, math or writing. I'd just do the most important stuff, let him eat and sleep as much as he wants, and worry about the rest later. Exercise is going to be good for his muscle development, so I wouldn't cut that out unless he's just too fatigued to do anything, but that's just me.

[Danestress]

He does have seasonal allergies, but this room is relatively clean (not neat, but clean), He eats mostly what I cook at home, so not a ton of junk, though we do eat dessert. I wonder if sugar makes it worse. I haven't noticed one way or the other. I do try to keep fish oil in him, but he "forgets" a lot.

[Melissa in Australia]

My 13 year old is very grumpy lately. One day last week he was particularly grumpy. I looked at him the next day, and I am sure he grew 1 inch that day. No wonder he was grumpy, he was stretching.

[unsinkable]

When my son was 13, I could have written your post about my now 15 yo son.

 

We had things take a bad turn health-wise, though, when he was 14 and got so run down and sick. It turned out his thyroid gland was not working.

 

It's kind of a chicken and the egg thing in my head about when it all really began and what started it. But the thyroid issue is something to think about.