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Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten?


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My dd will be turning 4yrs 6months when she starts Kindergarten next year. We're just a little concerned over whether she is ready for school or not. She has been attending preschool x3 per week for a year. Her teacher's feedback is that she is quiet during class. I observe that she always sits to the back of the class, and she generally likes to watch and observe, and just follow everyone else's lead. She's a quite kid, so it takes her a while to warm-up to new people. However with the classmates and friends she is comfortable with, she will freely talk, play and generally be out of herself. We've done all the readiness stuff in preparation for Kindie next year at her pre-school.

 

Academically, we've been doing reading lessons and some writing since she was 3 yo. So she's way ahead in her reading and phonics skills.

 

Today my wife and I went to a second orientation, where my dd participated in some kindie activities while we were given a tour of the school. She was really excited about the prospect of attending big school next year :001_smile:.

 

However I'm undecided whether or not dd is ready for school - maturity wise. Her speech, which is still developing, is the biggest difference between her and the other older kids (who seem to be better at expressing themselves). So in a nutshell, her speech and her emotional maturity, is my main concern over whether it's a good idea to put her in next year. Also when she starts school, she will probably be the youngest in her kindie group. By comparison the kids in her class will be between 5 years or older when they start kindie next year.

Edited by engu
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Being quiet, slow-to-warm-up, etc has NOTHING to do with kindergarten readiness. Too many people will claim otherwise, but some of us just are quiet people IRL.

 

But a couple things. It isn't normal for a school to allow a student to start Kindie so young. The only place I've heard of it was in Louisiana and that is because they test into PreK, Kindy, and 1st grades. My own daughter would have, if we had decided to use school, had the plan of starting Kindy the month before she turned 4 (Sept bday) and then a probable skip of 1st. The reason I mention this is because it may be a consideration. If the school regularly has mixed age grouping, then it's not an issue. If all the other kids are within the same 12months of age, though, that could be an issue for some kids.

 

Another consideration is that you are speaking about something a LONG time off. Your daughter is going to change A LOT in that amount of time. Seriously, look BACK 10 months. She's probably not nearly the same kid! So she may become immature in some ways related to Kindy in the next 10 months (or even 20!) when she's just not developed that much at 3 1/2 years old. That could really be a GOOD thing as it is VERY common for a 3yo to be mature for 3 and a 4yo to seem like they've jumped off the deep end (honestly, my experience is that most 4yos seem like that!). But she'll also change for the positive in terms of maturity, socialization, even academics and other ways developmentally. For example, in that kindy class, when you visited, OF COURSE the kids were better at expressing themselves. Those kids are a full two years older than your daughter! Your daughter would have to developmentally be almost double her chronological age in order in that developmental area to be similar.

 

And then there are the academics. There are two trends for kids that are somewhat advanced. Sometimes, we get them into school early, work out accommodations and skips, etc. Other times, parents choose to keep them out of school longer, allowing them to go their own pace (as well as breadth and depth). They may still go to school at the regular age (and 5 1/2 years old would be smack dab in the middle of the group) and the parents may still have to do all the work with the school regarding that. If school will have to be tweaked, why not just wait if what is working now works? A lot depends for these things.

 

Of course, you can do like us and end up just never sending her if you keep waiting. It just never was convenient or seemed like a good idea.

 

*I* would not, unless backed into a corner having to make the decision by the end of the year, even consider thinking about making this decision at this point, though. Again, she's just too young and it's just too early to even guess how she'll be in 10 months. Children grow SO much in just a few months at these ages.

Edited by 2J5M9K
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Since you are in Australia it might be a bit different but here a 4 1/2 year old would not be allowed to start K. Depending on the district your child must be 5 by Sept. 1 or some places as late as Dec. 1 so they must be at least 4 years and 9 months but honestly most of those kids here go to PreK , Young 5s, etc---it is like an easier developmental K and then they go to regular K the next year.

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Oh, I didn't realize it was Australia. Sorry. So you're looking at school starting in just a few months? That is a whole 'nother ball of wax and I guess you DO have to make the decision.

 

I still stand by what I said generally though. There may be some reasons to consider early schooling. We certainly did as I mentioned above. But many people, even with profoundly gifted students, find it helpful to just wait and keep providing for the child otherwise an additional year.

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After pushing my oldest child on to start school early (albeit, homeschool), I have become a rabid proponent for letting them wait. I did start my youngest in K a few days before her 5th birthday, but she is only the youngest by 16 months, was already reading on a first-grade level, and wanted to "do school" with brother and sister. If she had to go to a public or private school, I would have waited, but in homeschool I can teach her at a relaxed pace and not worry too much about what grade level she's at!

 

Let's look several years down the road now. If she starts now, what is the real benefit? The earlier they start, if all goes well, the earlier they graduate and then we face the college decision. I also opine that I'd rather my daughters be as close as possible to being through the teenage years when they start college.

 

There's also the concern that, even if they are excelling academically right now, there is a "wall" they could hit in a few years, say 3rd or 4th grade, if their brains just aren't physically mature enough to make certain connections. I'd rather mine be ahead of the game in their age-appropriate grade than struggle to keep up as the youngest of the class.

 

Those are just my thoughts and opinions, but I hope they are somehow useful! You'll make the choice that is best for your particular family and circumstance.

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Hi, we're in Australia, where my dd's age falls within the cut-off period for when they can start school. She will turn 4 yrs and 6mths by the time she starts Kindie come February next year.

 

Pamela quoted:

many people, even with profoundly gifted students, find it helpful to just wait and keep providing for the child otherwise an additional year.

We get this feedback a lot, it's also one of the reasons why we are hesitant. I think though, if we hold her back one more year, she'll be in preschool all over again(or is that preK in the states). I just don't see it worth her while going over the same stuff she's gone through, and also for us to dish out another 5K to keep her there. I'd rather use the money to get real books and resources that will develop her maths, and reading skills.

 

Starting Kindie at 4 yrs 6 mths, don't you think she'll be ready, or close to ready in terms of her social/emotional maturity development? I guess if we have to wait one more year, we could use that time to help her develop academically. I think we might have to find something else other than preschool though to keep her going.

 

We basically have to make a decision by this Friday. At this stage I'm leaning more towards putting her into Kindie, though I'm still open - particularly from parents who have had kids go through the kindie stage.

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I certainly wouldn't spend a great deal of money to keep her somewhere they aren't meeting her needs REGARDLESS. There is NO reason a good preschool teacher could not meet her needs if they decided to. JMO. However, this is also a consideration in Kindy! Will they meet her needs any better there?

 

Another consideration as you lean towards school: When you visited, those were kids about to go up to the next level, so they still are older than your kiddo AND have had a year of school. The students your daughter will be with won't be nearly as sophisticated. They are a year younger with a year less (and different!) experience just like your daughter.

 

If your daughter is within the age cut-off, I would probably send her. Here in the States, it's common to hold boys back if their bdays are within a couple months of the cut-off date because of maturity. I think there are actually some long term benefits to that if they are getting appropriate care and opportunities in that year. However, very few people would hesitate regarding a girl who is well-behaved, average to above average, etc.

 

Sorry for misunderstanding earlier.

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I began kindergarten when I was still 4 and was always among the youngest in my class. Honestly, I did fine. I also turned 18 at college and that was OK as well. My Mom started me when I was ready and didn't worry so much about my age. I don't think it hindered me at all.

 

As for her social development, my dh sits back, observes and is only really talkative with those he knows well. He is 40. That is probably just her personality. The thing that we cause me to think twice is her speech development being delayed as you mentioned. However, being with kids that are better developed there may help speed her development along.

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Since you are in Australia it might be a bit different but here a 4 1/2 year old would not be allowed to start K.

 

Unless they've recently changed their rules, the cutoff in Hawaii is Jan 1. My brother started at 4.5 yo and because of maturity issues struggled all his school years. My nephew started at 4.5 yo and was held back (repeated K) because of maturity and speech issues.

 

My ds was 4.5 and ready for K but the state we lived in had a different cutoff date so he wasn't eligible. (Long story here about how he was in a private pre-K program and we had plans to have him attend again but the woman running it moved and no other options were appealing at the time.) We started homeschooling to continue his academic progress (he'd already started learning to read on his own). We ended up keeping him home through eighth grade.

 

Many years ago my sil held her daughter back from K--her birthdate was just within the cutoff. Her dd wasn't immature for her age; dsil just thought it would be better for her if she was older. It worked well for them.

 

Just some experiences I'm familiar with. You know your dd and your situation best. :001_smile:

 

Cinder

Edited by Cinder
typo
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At 4 1/2 I would not want to send my child to K.

 

My daughter went to public school K right before turning 5- her birthday was ON the cutoff, which back then was October 1st, so she was THE youngest in her class (and still not quite as young as yours).

 

I since wished I hadn't sent her that early.

 

1) She really DIDN'T have all of the maturity the kids a year older did and so she had a bit of a hard time with being stuck in front of a desk all.day.long, she was constantly losing some of the 15 meager minutes of recess they were allotted for talking too much, it was an academic K so they brought home homework on top of it all... they were long, boring days for her with WAY too little time for play, creating, imagining, being a kid, being outside, socializing, being with family and so on. That is such a valuable time of childhood and it's so fleeting that I was sorry I took it away from her so early.

 

2) I worried that when she got to be older, like middle school age- well, we've all heard the stories about what middle schools are like these days. And I had some really valid concerns about how the youngest girl in the class might react to things like peer pressure or how she'd handle conversations and things that came up- I thought maybe as one of the older ones instead of one of the youngest, maybe she'd be less likely to succumb to that kind of thing, I don't know.

 

3) What about at graduation? Did I really want her potentially taking off for college at like age 17? Wouldn't I worry about her more, miss her more, wish I'd had more time with her when that time came?

 

I've since pulled her out of school (toward the end of third grade) and now we homeschool so some of these things are less relevant/less of a concern now, but if I had it all to do over again, I would never have put her into public school so young (or at all really, but if I was going to do it, I'd have waited that extra year. It was more important for her to be with her family than it was for her to sit at a desk day in and day out).

 

As for my son, he's going to turn 5 in under two weeks, and he's being homeschooled right from the beginning, and while I started a K program with him just before turning 5, it's entirely different than what my daughter's public school K was like- it's not academic, it's very creative, gentle, hands on and so on, and takes under an hour a day. I love it, it seems to me more what Kindergarten SHOULD be like but isn't anymore.

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A little humor injected here...

When I was growing up our neighbor used to say that a child was ready for Kindergarten when they reach up over their head and touch the opposite ear. I had forgotten this little old wives tale and never "tested" my kids..but I am curious if your kindergartener can reach his ear but your preschooler can't.

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Thanks for your replies everyone, it was very helpful.

 

KatieinMich wrote:

A little humor injected here...

When I was growing up our neighbor used to say that a child was ready for Kindergarten when they reach up over their head and touch the opposite ear. I had forgotten this little old wives tale and never "tested" my kids..but I am curious if your kindergartener can reach his ear but your preschooler can't.

 

No dd couldn't touch her opposite ear :001_smile:

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I'm in a similar situation with my ds, but his personality is different, obviously. In his case, if he were going to a brick and mortar school, I'd wait. Since he's homeschooling with me and I can torture him, :tongue_smilie:, he'll be starting K next fall. :D

 

Good luck with your decision!

 

FWIW, both my dh and I were "late" babies being born in November, and we both did fine going to school "early." My dh was an immigrant and learning a new language in 1st grade and still did just fine. We both graduated college on time, despite starting at 17, and pursued advanced degrees. Neither of us have felonies, and our kids seem to like and respect us. The dog too! :)

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:iagree:

 

We decided to let dd wait one more year before sending her off to Kindie. The majority of the advise on this forum, and from teachers and friends was that the potential risk (dd's happiness, social development etc) out weighted the financial benefits to our family (5-6K savings on childcare fees).

 

Thanks again :D

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:iagree:

 

We decided to let dd wait one more year before sending her off to Kindie. The majority of the advise on this forum, and from teachers and friends was that the potential risk (dd's happiness, social development etc) out weighted the financial benefits to our family (5-6K savings on childcare fees).

 

Thanks again :D

 

:) I think that was a good decision.

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