Going grey (from Brunette)

[Danestress]

Since we are talking about old lady hair, I'd love to hear from women who have stopped dying their dark hair.

 

I have a LOT of grey. I know this because I let it be grey until about five years ago. It was sort of cute when I was 30. Then at 40, it seemed a lot less cute. I have been dying it for a few years, and I want to let it be natural.

 

I have a chin length Bob. I think the thing I am worried about is that "transition" stage of having half grey hair. I am going to have a *serious* line of demarcation.

 

If you have done this, what did you do? Did you do highlights for a while during transition? Did you try any semi-permanent dyes to get you through the tough stages? Or did you just wear a hat?

 

I am not that vain, but I think it would be hard for me to just walk around being 2 inches of grey and 4 inches of brown.

[SonshineLearner]

Just curious :) Why do you want to stop dying it? I've been doing Henna... I know in a few years, I'll be totally "really" grey. I'm 39...

[Britomart]

I love seeing natural hair, so I think this is awesome. Just had to say that first. :)

 

I'm sorry I don't have any advice from experience - I don't dye my hair, so my greys are just coming in one (or, um, many) at a time. But could you gradually dye closer to your natural color over the course of a few months? Do your darker color with some grey highlights, and then gradually add a few more, and then you could just let the rest of the grey grow in?

[Scotia]

I went from a chin length bob to a shorter pixie type cut when I had about 2" of grey, trimmed it regularly until there was no brown left and then grew it out again. It is now to my shoulder blades, salt and pepper with a cool white streak near the front. I get compliments on it all the time. I dyed for 2.5 years, and went au natural nearly 10 years ago.

Edited October 24, 2010 by Scotia
Adding comma and spell checking

[anneofalamo]

yep, I cut it in a wild and crazy short hair do!

and I wound up liking the hair do...my hubby did also...

I grew it out with the gray, but after a few years, cut it short again and dyed it...again!

I am very gray and at least with short hair, one box works!

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

No experience with grey hair, but with growing out hennaed hair. I just wore it up with a headband (soft cloth and one that is continuous) to kinda draw attention from the dye/natural line. Hope that helps some. :tongue_smilie:

 

Head bands like these but of various widths: http://store.nike.com/us/en_us/?l=shop,pdp,ctr-inline/cid-1/pid-321174/pgid-321175

 

Even the thinner ones really helped distract.

[AuntieM]

I am growing mine out now, just toughing it out. I have a chin length bob which I keep trimming. Dd13 will not allow me to cut it any shorter! My colored/natural is not such a contrast, though. I do wish it would all go white like my father's did at an early age.

[asta]

Find a *good* colorist, then start the process of highlighting.

 

Firstly, they put in a lot of dark, some medium, and some highlights that are your natural color. Then, as you're growing out, they slowly trim and change the formula until the "highlights" are simply your natural color.

 

It works really well.

 

 

a

[Geo]

I started dying my hair (copper) around 40 because I was pretty gray and had just had a baby.Folks were asking me if she was my grandbaby! :glare:

Wish I never started. Anywho. Now, I'm 52 and have had to deal with growing it out. I presently have about 2 1/2 inches of silver hair grown out and will be getting a pixie cut in about a week. I think toughing it out and getting a pixie is the way to go. Gonna get me some big, pretty, hoop earrings...and go "old artist lady". Yep.

 

Geo

[keptwoman]

I have not dealt with this, matter of fact, I think I'm about 6 months off beginning to dye mine.

However, what about the temporary dyes? They will cover the greys as they grow out, and as you can see it looking better, you can stop dying.

[Parrothead]

I've not stopped dying my hair. I'm totally gray in my early 40s. I started going gray at 25.

 

So I just wanted to say you are a braver woman than I. ;)

[Danestress]

trying so hard to eat healthy food and to be conscious of the environmental impact my actions have, and then dumping all that stuff on my head every four weeks and washing it down the drain! I don't know. I just don't want to do it anymore. But I also don't want to look like hell warmed over:(

[Danestress]

I presently have about 2 1/2 inches of silver hair grown out and will be getting a pixie cut in about a week. I think toughing it out and getting a pixie is the way to go. Gonna get me some big, pretty, hoop earrings...and go "old artist lady". Yep.

 

Geo

 

Post before pixie (line of demarcation and all) and after shots!

[elegantlion]

Find a *good* colorist, then start the process of highlighting.

 

Firstly, they put in a lot of dark, some medium, and some highlights that are your natural color. Then, as you're growing out, they slowly trim and change the formula until the "highlights" are simply your natural color.

 

It works really well.

 

 

a

 

Ah, thank you. I've been wondering how to do this as well.

 

I have not dealt with this, matter of fact, I think I'm about 6 months off beginning to dye mine.

However, what about the temporary dyes? They will cover the greys as they grow out, and as you can see it looking better, you can stop dying.

 

This is a great idea.

 

I color my hair and while not completely grey, it will no longer hold the dye. My natural color is fading too. I do my own hair and will do a darker color and then highlight with a lighter shade. With the curls you can't tell, but I have about 3-4 shades in my hair.

[Jann in TX]

My gray was coming in on ONE side-- people kept asking me if I had been painting???

I also was not liking the fact that I looked like my 3rd grader's grandmother... My older girls were FINE with mom looking OLD... the gray also made my original color look drab--DH said my hair looked 'sad' and worn out!

 

I started getting highlights about a year ago. I have a chin length swing-bob (longer in front) and straight brunette hair. I started with some light gold highlights. 4 months later I needed a touch up. I stretched it to 5 months (but I had a faint line that I HATED) and then changed stylists. The new stylist suggested highlights AND low-lights. She also purposely left gray exposed--this was the secret! It has been 4 months and at my haircut this past weekend we decided to wait another 6 weeks or so for the next touch up. The new' gray' has blended in and my color is still 'rich' --not drab. My highlights are well blended--most people do not know that I had it done.

 

I'm not covering my gray--I'm just boosting the transition. Maybe when my youngest is in high school I MIGHT fully embrace my gray--but not now.

[Tammyla]

I'm not total grey, just mostly around the front. I tried the temporary dye, but didn't like the dullness and damage it left behind. Last winter was my time to let it go and see what happens. The stylist suggested layers to smooth the transition. Now I'm totally happy with the way my hair is healthy and shinny again and just pretend the greys are highlights.

 

I had intended to do the highlight route, but my hair and body just don't like the chemicals. Let us know how how your journey goes.:001_smile:

[hillfarm]

I had a lot of grey in my 20s, and started dying it then. When I was 38, I had dd and didn't want to be called Grandma without getting to enjoy Mama first. So I continue to dye it. She just turned 12.

 

Now, my plan is to wait until I turn 60 and then look out! I have threatened dd to dye it bright blue or pink first before setting into a natural grey pattern, which is already actually nearly 100% white.;) (I also threatened her that I might decide to give up playing bluegrass music and take a gig with a heavy metal rock band, so just might show up at some party she is attending, therefore better always be on best behavior-you never know where good, old Mom might show up.)

[suzf242]

trying so hard to eat healthy food and to be conscious of the environmental impact my actions have, and then dumping all that stuff on my head every four weeks and washing it down the drain! I don't know. I just don't want to do it anymore. But I also don't want to look like hell warmed over:(

 

 

I'm not trying to change your mind about going gray, but..... I'm in the same boat as you and I use henna to color my hair. It is completely natural. I am at least 50% gray, and I just mix the henna with vinegar and coffee. The white streaks in my hair show up like highlights, and I get a lot of compliments on the color. I buy it here: www.rainbowresearch.com

 

Take care,

Suzanne

[kitten18]

I would definitely try the highlights or a semi-permanent color. There is no way I could just grow the gray out. Actually, I'm never going gray, I refuse :tongue_smilie:. I hoping genetics is on my side for this though, my dad was 76 when he died and he still had about 50% black hair.

 

I saw a lady at the library a couple weeks ago, she looked like she had put a bowl on the crown of her head and left that gray, and colored the rest of her hair dark brown. :001_unsure: It was ...... not a good look.

[eternalknot]

I have a chin length Bob. I think the thing I am worried about is that "transition" stage of having half grey hair. I am going to have a *serious* line of demarcation.

 

I am not that vain, but I think it would be hard for me to just walk around being 2 inches of grey and 4 inches of brown.

 

All of my sisters and brothers dye their hair, most of them started to grey in their late 20s; I was always going to go against the grain (true to form!) and just embrace my grey. I LOVE the look of salt-and-pepper -- and even moreso, a beautiful white -- and have no problems whatsoever joining that club. I'm in my early 30s and have just now started to grey a bit. I'm actually liking it.

 

Unfortunately, my hair is super dark black so my visions of salt-and-pepper have been replaced with a reality of stringy, coarse Lily Munster-esque grey streaks that are less than flattering (according to my kids, my siblings, and yes - even a beloved coworker). My hair is waist-length, so I'm in the same dilemma as you are: do I dye for a bit? do I grin and bear it? do I cut it to the demarcation line once one becomes clear?!

 

I haven't made any decisions yet, but appreciate your question and the replies you've received. I had thought about doing highlights for a few years until the grey looked more intentional (and less, "I'm a few weeks behind on my dye job" or "I'm in denial about the need to dye") but that all seems so high-maintenance to me. Really not my thing.

 

I think there are so many accessory-type options with a chin-length bob that would make the growing out stage less awkward. A couple of great headbands at first, followed by some scarves (Burberry or otherwise ;)), then some stylish hats, and eventually a super-cute bob at your ears.

[Julie in CA]

I have no advice, and I'm in the middle of making a haircolor decision myself. I don't mind the *idea* of gray hair (my regular color is a med-dark ash brown), but what I do mind is the texture of the gray hair that grows in. They are horribly wiry and have a bad way of curling and then sticking straight up. :eek:

 

I'm at that point where I can gracefully go back to highlighting, or I can relatively unobtrusively continue to let it grow out. I don't consider myself a person who's super-focused on looking good, but I have been told many, many times over the years that I have beautiful hair. I guess I'm not feeling ready to let that go yet. :glare:

[AuntieM]

I have no advice, and I'm in the middle of making a haircolor decision myself. I don't mind the *idea* of gray hair (my regular color is a med-dark ash brown), but what I do mind is the texture of the gray hair that grows in. They are horribly wiry and have a bad way of curling and then sticking straight up. :eek:

 

I'm at that point where I can gracefully go back to highlighting, or I can relatively unobtrusively continue to let it grow out. I don't consider myself a person who's super-focused on looking good, but I have been told many, many times over the years that I have beautiful hair. I guess I'm not feeling ready to let that go yet. :glare:

 

 

Oh, I hate that! A while back I used a clear shine coat (no color). It seemed to help tame the ones that usually like to stick straight up and wave at people. It worked well because I style my hair smooth and straight; not sure if one would like the result if her hairstyle depended on body for waves. It sort of "sleeked" things down.

[vineyard]

I have been coloring for 20 years, started at 18 since I had the long curly 80's hair & even some strands in dark hair were really noticable & I was 18 I didn't want to look old! Fast forward from doing it once in awhile to having to do it every four weeks & could be sooner. At 30 I grew it all out the hard way & it looked it through the 18 mos. it took. I couldn't go that short as I mostly always had long hair and short,short hair looks awful on me, but did a chin length layered bob. When all was said & done it was really white with some really dark interspersed color in back, but 95% + white. I think it was about 4 months after it was all grown out & then I just couldn't stand it! I work pt at a nursing home & was looking like the residents & from the back of a photo I didn't know if it was me or 80+ yo MIL- So I went back to coloring for another decade. Fast forward to 39th B-day in March & I decided I'm done!! I have to color every three weeks & I'm sick of the continual roots, so now I'm going to embrace it. I'm O.K. with going to be 40, I had my whole thing at 35. So I got a somewhat edgey cut for me short to hairline in back steeply angled to front, long side swept bangs & a zig zagged side part. Think longer Posh-bob do. With the white growing in many people think I did it intentionally to go with haircut. Sure like I would strip my hair white, but O.K. I plan on keeping the same style, but just growing out the front much longer like all virgin color, but keeping ends in front brown.

 

All that to say it will be rough if you go cold turkey & at times you will be tempted to just grab a box and start again. If you can pull off a cute short cut that suits your personality it won't be too bad. The shorter you go the quicker the transition. Yes, do not use temporary color as if you are white instead of gray it will hold some of the tint. If you want to figure how long it will take your hair grows on average 1/2" a month & yes when you stop coloring if it's really dark it's easy to measure. So figure from the scalp how long you want your hair to be say with a string, measure, & now you'll know how long it'll take.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[Guest cmelook]

My natural hair is dark brown. I colored for 20 years. I saw more women with grey and I decided to join. I would not recommend coloring to stop coloring. So many people are impressed with women going grey. My stylist loves it. He says why do you want to come in here every 4 to 6 weeks to cover those greys! There are times when I really want to color again. I am a homeschooling grandmother. But as I have aged so has my complexion changed. I think dark hair would not be the best thing for me.

 

Good luck with your transition!

 

Live is full of choices.:)

[sweetstitches]

When I decided to let my hair go natural, my hairdresser switched my color formula to the kind that will fade, and started putting it in the same way you do highlights. That got rid of the "line" and I slowly started seeing more gray. She didn't want to do actual highlights instead, because then I would have had 3 colors in my hair.

 

I'm really glad I went natural. I hated seeing my roots all the time; my hair grows fast and I would see roots in 2 weeks.