"See, this is what worries me about him not going to preschool....."

[NanceXToo]

Last night we went to my oldest daughter's back to school night/open house (a very casual event where you walk around at your leisure seeing the different rooms and can meet the teachers, but no in depth conversations about your child). I invited my mom along, and brought my almost 5 y/o son.

 

As we were walking through the building, at one point my son got a little over-excited and started running ahead a bit, going around a corner (and then either waiting or coming back when I called), ducking into a doorway and standing there to look in or whatever. At one point I called him back to me and it was true that I had to call him a couple of times before he listened and came back. He's usually a pretty good listener. But he's young. Sometimes it takes a couple of attempts lol.

 

My mother commented, "See, this is what worries me about him not being in preschool or public school, where he'd learn how to behave in this kind of setting" or something like that.

 

I think I just gave her a baffled look and said, "Really?" I mean, really, she worried about that? She thinks that's what a kid should go to school for? This isn't normal not quite 5 year old boy behavior for most kids, homeschooled or not? :confused: I mean he's not wild all the time. But we were in a big, new place and he kept getting eager to see what was up ahead. He wasn't constantly running, he wasn't yelling, the hallways weren't crowded so he wasn't running into or right past people or anything, he wasn't even full out running, or going ridiculously far, more like jogging ahead a bit. I thought her comment was kind of irrelevant.

 

Besides, he went to a two week art camp over the summer, almost 3 hours a day, without my being there. He took group swimming lessons for a couple weeks over the summer. He takes gymnastics lessons now. He does have some 'experience' with being in a group with an instructor and doing what the other kids are doing and listening to a 'teacher' etc, with little to no problems.

 

Then, at one point we were in a room talking briefly to one of my daughter's teacher's (the home ec teacher) and at that point Ben got a little silly and started walking in circles around my older daughter, giggling and trying to play with her. It's hard sometimes for young kids to just stay perfectly still and quiet and just wait while adults are talking, isn't it? Nobody else was in the room with us at that moment.

 

And you know that "look" you give your kids sometimes, where you show them a mad/annoyed face, and give your head a vigorous shake to let them know that you want them to stop what they are doing immediately, without having to say it out loud in front of people?

 

Well, my mother gave ME that look! To show me that I shouldn't be letting my son do that, within seconds of him starting to do it. I didn't know if I wanted to burst out laughing or haul off and smack her. I was thinking are you kidding? Who do you think YOU are? And remind me to leave you home next time!

 

But anyway her initial comment just really struck me as odd and irrelevant. And it surprised me because she's never said anything even remotely anti-homeschooling before.

 

Oh, and on our way out, we passed two boys (one looked my son's age, one a year older maybe) who were chasing each other around the lobby and laughing. I don't think my mother even noticed. But she seemed ridiculously tuned in to what my son was doing and acting like his behavior was terrible and everyone in the building was going to get mad at him or something and that it was somehow going to reflect on her.

 

I don't know WHAT the heck she was thinking, to be honest, but for some reason it irritated me! Would that have irritated you? (Or are you sitting there thinking "I'd have reacted just like your mother did?") LOL.

[elegantlion]

I suppose when she was in school no one EVER ran through the halls and got yelled at for it? :glare: I can't count the number of times I head "no running in the halls" in school, even if I wasn't running. :headsmack:

[Mejane]

I hate those dumb reasons. My aunt once said she didn't believe in homeschooling because, "What will happen when he has to get up in the morning and be somewhere?" umm... he'll set his clock and get up? Sheesh.

[Guest CarolineUK]

My DS9 was still running wild whenever we went anywhere new, completely ignoring our reprimands, even at 8 years old, having been in pre-school/school for the best part of 4 years. He was taken out of school because of such behaviour, and is actually an awful lot more calm and biddable now that he's been homeschooled for just over a year.

[Mejane]

I suppose when she was in school no one EVER ran through the halls and got yelled at for it? :glare: I can't count the number of times I head "no running in the halls" in school, even if I wasn't running. :headsmack:

 

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you've got to rise above.

 

~John Mayer

 

:D

[misscometa]

One thing you have to remember is, that MOMS usually, want to let us know in their own way ;) that they did a better job raising us, than whatever we're doing with our kids. MOMS also forget lots of things that happened when we were little, and how they handle it :lol: All children are different, mine went to school since he was 2 years old, and did something similar to what yours did the day we went to meet his K teacher (he was 5) and know, I'm somewhat strict with my kids when it comes to how to behave in general. How about when your child behaves? does your MOM praises the good behavior? Probably not!!!

 

YES, I would of have felt uncomfortable just like you did, but I have learned throughout the years, not to take opinions to heart, especially when they're coming from family members. :closedeyes:

[justamouse]

he's FIVE. They only can take it for so long, and then you have to expect the wiggles. just is. It would have made me angry, too.

[Allearia]

As we were walking through the building, at one point my son got a little over-excited and started running ahead a bit, going around a corner (and then either waiting or coming back when I called), ducking into a doorway and standing there to look in or whatever. At one point I called him back to me and it was true that I had to call him a couple of times before he listened and came back. He's usually a pretty good listener. But he's young. Sometimes it takes a couple of attempts lol.

 

My mother commented, "See, this is what worries me about him not being in preschool or public school, where he'd learn how to behave in this kind of setting" or something like that.

 

 

 

:lol: My 5 year old son went to preschool for THREE YEARS and he still does this. Nothing at all to do with preschool or no preschool, completely normal behavior.

Edited October 22, 2010 by allearia

[Spy Car]

My son went to pre-school and kindergarten, and has been known to run in school hallways.

 

Perhaps we should do more home-schooling? :D

 

Bill

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

And remind me to leave you home next time!

 

 

 

There you go.

[Heatherwith4]

This is just one of those goofy misconceptions people have about hsing. Yeah, I'd be ticked off, too, but I'd probably just let it slide. :)

[Hedgehog]

Yup.. I definitely be pretty miffed.. but then I'd probably just laugh because it's so ridiculous!

[leann_in_tx]

I've noticed both my mother and my mother-in-law seem to expect certain kinds of behavior from our kids that aren't normal until they are older. (My mother- he's not potty trained yet?) They also think sometimes that the kids are complete geniuses because they said or did something that appeared, to them, really clever for that age. I think they just forget about the ordinary development of kids. I've already forgotten a lot of what my four year old said and did when he was younger. There's just too much to keep track of right now. I think it's really normal for anyone who isn't around young children on a regular basis to forget what age appropriate behavior is.

[HeathenMom]

the other day my dd7 heard the phrase, 'get in line, single-file' for the first time and she had to ask me what it meant.

 

she's obviously ruined.

 

:D

[Hot Lava Mama]

if she can't keep her comments to herself?

[PinkInTheBlue]

This is unusual for me but I'm annoyed by what she said just by reading it. It wasn't even said to me! I would have been boiling mad! Sorry but that's just a ridiculous thing to think much less say. No disrespect to your mom personally. It's just amazing what some people can say!

[Meriwether]

the other day my dd7 heard the phrase, 'get in line, single-file' for the first time and she had to ask me what it meant.

 

she's obviously ruined.

 

:D

 

I've heard people joke about homeschool kids not learning how to stand in line, but I realized a month or so ago that my kids 7, 6, and 4 really don't know how. They line up to leave Awanas. Each kid comes to the doorway, gets his/her candy, and then the helper checks to make sure the parent is present before the kid is released. It takes awhile. My kids stand quietly in single file. But they are in the back every. single. time. Obviously, I need to work on this, but I just can't bring myself to tell them to try for the front of the line.

[NanceXToo]

Thanks for 'having my back' lol. I actually ended up emailing my mom and telling her what I thought of her comment and her expectations for my son. She basically admitted that "perhaps I was expecting behavior of a kid older than Ben is."

 

She also said "I don't know why I made that association of school or pre-school and behavior."

 

and "I hope that you do not put a lot of weight on various things I say- I am not an expert in child psychology by any means! Like I said, its been a long time since I had to know what was or wasnt age appropriate behavior. Yes, I did feel a bit embarrassed that the teachers might view him as being a "bad listener" but there too they are probably a lot more in tune with what an almost 5 year old is capable of then I am. So yep, its good that you told me how you see it - and feel free to remind me any time if you

think I just don't have it straight. Put it in the framework of "mom doesnt always know what she is talking about" and shed some light for me!"

 

:D

[Miss Sherry]

I've heard people joke about homeschool kids not learning how to stand in line, but I realized a month or so ago that my kids 7, 6, and 4 really don't know how. They line up to leave Awanas. Each kid comes to the doorway, gets his/her candy, and then the helper checks to make sure the parent is present before the kid is released. It takes awhile. My kids stand quietly in single file. But they are in the back every. single. time. Obviously, I need to work on this, but I just can't bring myself to tell them to try for the front of the line.

LOL How sad. They haven't figured out yet how to behave like they have been institutionalized. :tongue_smilie::lol:

[....]

Our ONE kid who went to preschool for almost 3 years acts like a deranged lunatic every time we go into a Wal-Mart. There's probably a picture of my daughter in every Wal-Mart break-room from Chicago to Dallas.

 

Apparently, years in preschool do NOT equal calm behavior in public places...with lots and lots of stimuli...:glare:...and Zhu Zhu pets...and shopping carts filled with Barbies...

[kalanamak]

Did your mother go to pre-school? When I was that age, around 1962, NO one went to preschool except the very poor children in the very poor part of town, and that was offered by the public schools.

[HollyDay]

A couple years ago, I had a mom tell me she would not homeschool because she wanted her dc to learn valuable life skills, like standing in line and raising their hands to ask a question. I guess her dc never stood in line at Walmart or the movie theater then.

[Chris in VA]

Wow, you are blessed to have such a humble and sweet mom! (re her reply to your email):001_smile:

[Renthead Mommy]

and feel free to remind me any time if you

think I just don't have it straight. Put it in the framework of "mom doesnt always know what she is talking about" and shed some light for me!"

 

:D

 

I WANT HER FOR MY MOM!!!!

 

Really. I'll trade you any time. Really!

[NanceXToo]

A couple years ago, I had a mom tell me she would not homeschool because she wanted her dc to learn valuable life skills, like standing in line and raising their hands to ask a question. I guess her dc never stood in line at Walmart or the movie theater then.

 

Funnily enough, my not-quite-five-year-old son already knows how to raise his hand. He observes other kids doing it on field trips and library programs and different settings like that, and so he does it too lol. And he has to "line up" to do various activities at gymnastics. I don't know how he managed to learn these things without going to school to have a certified teacher teach it to him, but he has. He must be a pretty brilliant kid! :lol:

 

Did your mother go to pre-school? When I was that age, around 1962, NO one went to preschool except the very poor children in the very poor part of town, and that was offered by the public schools.

 

You know, I have on idea. She was 4 in like 1941. And an 'army brat' maybe even back that far.

 

I WANT HER FOR MY MOM!!!! Really. I'll trade you any time. Really!

 

Heh. She has her good and her bad, like everyone else I suppose. Some things you'd love about her and some things would irritate the heck out of you. In this instance, I did appreciate her response to my email though!