Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Folks, I have been obsessing wildly over the question of renting or buying a house. I'd love to hear some perspectives. We have spent the last 14 years living as white people in a predominantly African-American, mixed blue collar and welfare classes, urban neighborhood. In many ways it's been a rich experience, and I can honestly say we have some of the best neighbors and dear friends here. It's always been a friendly place for us. It's also been a challenging place--drunks in the street on weekends, illegal businesses (chop shops, drugs, etc.), unleashed pit bulls, vandalism. The very best and the very worst, with nothing in between. Also we have spent the last eleven years laboriously rehabbing a 110yo fixer-upper, and are only half done. We have learned, in this process, that we are not really rehabbers at heart. In many ways we (especially me) are ready to start a new adventure in a new (safer) place, but still care deeply about this place. My dh recently accepted a job in the suburbs. We would like to move out near the job. It just so happens that the new job is also located 20-30 minutes' drive (depending on weather and traffic) from dh's parents, with whom we have a close relationship. When we moved into the city, we first found our church and made friends, then moved into that community. For the last 14 years the church has been less than a mile down the road, with dh's train stop to work just 4 blocks away. Our home is just a block from a much wealthier community, so all the resources I could want for my kids (lessons, etc.) are just minutes away. I really like how well it all worked out. We have a renter for our home (almost definitely), someone I have known many years, trust, and who rented from friends and proved to be reliable in that renting situation. My friend has flexibility on moving--she can wait some months, or she can be ready much more quickly. Since we have no prayer of selling this ramshackle fixer-upper in this economy, this seems like a good solution, even though we have no desire to manage a rental property. We had thought to rent a home closer to dh's job to orient ourselves to the area, find a church, find a home school community. This would shorten dh's commute considerably and give us the lay of the land. The one frustration with this, though, is that there are not tons of rental homes in that area--mostly small apartments. The other difficulty is that we own just one car, and cannot seem to find a rental close enough to maintain our one-car status. OR we could take a little longer and buy a house. There are tons available. We are kind of familiar with the area because dh's parents are nearby. But I am terrified to buy a home. Years of living in a fixer-upper have left me pretty gun shy. Also, there is a large area to choose from, and I am overwhelmed. What if I pick a spot that is far from our eventual church and friends ??? (I truly do NOT restrict us to only home school friends or Christian friends, at all--but our experience here has been that we made friends through our home school co-op and support group and at church.) Also I am worried about maintaining the right proximity to my in-laws. I love them dearly, as do dh and the kids--we could theoretically settle right into the same neighborhood . . . OR maybe we'd better settle closer to dh's job???? It's been an hourly roller coaster, and I am exhausted. Can you offer some perspective? Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 How far away from your current home is your husbands new job? is it at all feasible that you could stay in your current house for a few months-year and him commute. You could then start checking out churches and homeschool groups in the area and then make your decision on where to live. Personally, my first choice is to be close to church (but we go to service 3 times a week in additional to other activities there) since that's where are going most frequently in a week. My next choice is close to husbands work since he will have more family time if he doesn't have to spend a lot of time commuting. However, if this is not a job or area where is likely to remain long term (more than 5 years), I wouldn't weigh that part as heavy. If you have a good relationship with IL's living closer is nice. It's always easier to be closer to family if you get along well. Are you close enough to them that you want to see them on a weekly or more often basis? I f you see them that frequently than being closer to them is nice. If you only see them every month or two than the distance isn't going to matter as much. Another thing is are you a person who likes to be out and about or do you prefer to stay home more? If you like ot be out, then being closer to lots of stuff will be more important unless you don't mind spending lots of time on the road. I'm not really familiar with the Chicago area in general other than to know that it has masses and masses of people and there is traffic everywhere (personally it drives me nuts but if you are used to that maybe it's not such a big deal) So no real answers or advice but maybe thinking through the questions will help you figure out the best choice for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 My main question is do you want to have 2 mortgages (assuming that your house is not paid off)? With so much inventory to choose from I would proceed very slowly. Maybe start visting a new church and trying out a co-op in the new area first. Talk to people and see what area they live in. I want to move out of state and that is my biggest fear. That I will buy something in an area and then decide that I really wanted to live in another part of the state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I don't have any brilliant insights, just wanted to say that I think you are considering all the relevant points. I am not sure what renting is like where you are, but it was a lousy experience here in Australia - inspections of the house every 3 months, plus we failed to heed the advice to photograph every single small defect in the house, and thus got charged for something that was broken when we moved in even though we'd specified it in our initial property report. In short - a nightmare. That said, if we moved state, we'd probably rent again first. I just can't see another practical way of getting to know a new and distant area. In your case, though, is it not possible to set aside a few months and get to know your new area by shortlisting churches and visiting a different one each week to see where you feel at home? First impressions are often solid enought to at least work out where you don't want to be. Then once you've found your church options you can perhaps ask around for other homeschoolers at the churches, try to meet up a few times with them etc? I am not a fan of meeting new people, so this sounds rather daunting to me, but also sounds like an approach that might work. At the same time, your dh might be meeting people at his new job who can give further insight into the area, commuting options, car-pooling or whatever. I'd prefer the above option over renting if I had a choice, especially as it sounds like your rental options aren't the best. But if it was a case of moving into an unknown neighbourhood sight unseen, then I would definitely opt for renting for a year first. Nikki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I would make a list of the things you want in a home. (Must haves and Would be nice to have) As you said there are plenty available. Then take your time and start looking. If a home doesn't meet an important item on your list, cross it off and don't look back. Don't look at any houses that don't meet your initial criteria. Give yourself a deadline. If you don't have a house picked out after 6 weeks (or whatever), then look for a house to rent. Our Realtor said you will know it when you find the right house. It was true, when we saw our current house we both said "that was it". If you find the right house, keep looking at a few more to confirm your choice. Regarding what to do about church and friends. Just begin looking for a new church and hope every thing falls into place, but don't wait on the one or the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Well, one of the benefits of buying in the near future is that housing prices have got to be pretty close to as low as they as going to go but interests rates are going to go up. It would be best to buy with prices and rates low. We bought right before the market tanked but luckily we got a really low rate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 How far away from your current home is your husbands new job? is it at all feasible that you could stay in your current house for a few months-year and him commute. You could then start checking out churches and homeschool groups in the area and then make your decision on where to live. From our current home, it's an hour commute in good traffic and good weather. Lots of people do commute that kind of distance, but the thought of spending 2-3 hours a day in the car leaves dh cold. Plus we'd rather he spend those hours with us, of course. Personally, my first choice is to be close to church (but we go to service 3 times a week in additional to other activities there) since that's where are going most frequently in a week. My next choice is close to husbands work since he will have more family time if he doesn't have to spend a lot of time commuting. However, if this is not a job or area where is likely to remain long term (more than 5 years), I wouldn't weigh that part as heavy. Dh does not like change, and would love to settle in comfortably to a company and stay there until he retires. That said, he has not been given that option in the past (one company went bankrupt and died, another terminated his department/area of business, and his third ended up being a nightmare.) We are heavily involved in church, and likely to continue to be so in a new place. Plus dd is at the age where she loves to participate in youth group activities. We've been so spoiled for the last 14 years, having dh's el train stop 4 blocks away and church less than a mile down the road--we love having everything so close. We would like to create that ideal again in the new place but are wondering if that is unrealistic????? If you have a good relationship with IL's living closer is nice. It's always easier to be closer to family if you get along well. Are you close enough to them that you want to see them on a weekly or more often basis? I f you see them that frequently than being closer to them is nice. If you only see them every month or two than the distance isn't going to matter as much. We are close to dh's parents, definitely. We currently see them more on a monthly basis, though when dd was younger it was a minimum of twice a month. They are in good health now but are getting on in years, so we wonder if proximity would be good as they age and need us more. Another thing is are you a person who likes to be out and about or do you prefer to stay home more? If you like ot be out, then being closer to lots of stuff will be more important unless you don't mind spending lots of time on the road. I'm not really familiar with the Chicago area in general other than to know that it has masses and masses of people and there is traffic everywhere (personally it drives me nuts but if you are used to that maybe it's not such a big deal)I am more of an introvert, but like to be out sometimes--I walk a middle road in this regard. My kids like to be out a lot. Because I've always had everything I need within ten minutes drive or walking distance, I am spoiled in this regard. I'd love to not drive tons, but don't know if that's realistic in the spread-out suburbs. So no real answers or advice but maybe thinking through the questions will help you figure out the best choice for you. Thanks for your thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 My main question is do you want to have 2 mortgages (assuming that your house is not paid off)? With so much inventory to choose from I would proceed very slowly. Maybe start visting a new church and trying out a co-op in the new area first. Talk to people and see what area they live in. I want to move out of state and that is my biggest fear. That I will buy something in an area and then decide that I really wanted to live in another part of the state. I really do not want two mortgages, but dh is fine with the idea. We can rent the home for enough to cover the mortgage and taxes, and with such a reliable renter there is little risk. Even if our friend were to stop renting from us for some reason we are confident that we could get another renter. I personally was terribly, terribly poor for many years, and remember being in debt in college due to an accounting error that resulted in bounced checks (ugh). The weight of that debt was suffocating to me. I have always been determined never to feel that weight again. On the other hand, if we attempt to sell now, it will definitely be at a steep loss. I doubt we'd retain our equity, and we have accepted the fact that the money we poured into repairs is a total loss (except for the gains in quality of life). With such a reliable renter at hand it would be possible for us to wait out the market and not lose so much???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 I don't have any brilliant insights, just wanted to say that I think you are considering all the relevant points. I am not sure what renting is like where you are, but it was a lousy experience here in Australia - inspections of the house every 3 months, plus we failed to heed the advice to photograph every single small defect in the house, and thus got charged for something that was broken when we moved in even though we'd specified it in our initial property report. In short - a nightmare. That said, if we moved state, we'd probably rent again first. I just can't see another practical way of getting to know a new and distant area. In your case, though, is it not possible to set aside a few months and get to know your new area by shortlisting churches and visiting a different one each week to see where you feel at home? First impressions are often solid enought to at least work out where you don't want to be. Then once you've found your church options you can perhaps ask around for other homeschoolers at the churches, try to meet up a few times with them etc? I am not a fan of meeting new people, so this sounds rather daunting to me, but also sounds like an approach that might work. At the same time, your dh might be meeting people at his new job who can give further insight into the area, commuting options, car-pooling or whatever. I'd prefer the above option over renting if I had a choice, especially as it sounds like your rental options aren't the best. But if it was a case of moving into an unknown neighbourhood sight unseen, then I would definitely opt for renting for a year first. Nikki We definitely think alike. I have thought of the option of commuting to figure out our life, but am questioning how much savings in time/$$/convenience that will truly be. If we rent, we face two moves (to the rental, and to the eventual purchase) and thus two sets of moving expenses and general inconvenience. On the other hand, if we commute, we spend lots of money on gas and hours and hours just on commuting to the area. And commuting like that makes the ad hoc play dates for the kids very difficult. Plus I could see that situation prolonging itself for quite some time, and I hate to risk losing a good renter for our city house. (She is quite flexible, but I doubt she can wait 8-12 months.) Obviously we'll have to choose what's best for our family first, but I am very, very attracted to the idea that, if I am forced to rent out my house, at least I can rent it to someone I know and trust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 I would make a list of the things you want in a home. (Must haves and Would be nice to have) As you said there are plenty available. Then take your time and start looking. If a home doesn't meet an important item on your list, cross it off and don't look back. Don't look at any houses that don't meet your initial criteria. Give yourself a deadline. If you don't have a house picked out after 6 weeks (or whatever), then look for a house to rent. Our Realtor said you will know it when you find the right house. It was true, when we saw our current house we both said "that was it". If you find the right house, keep looking at a few more to confirm your choice. Regarding what to do about church and friends. Just begin looking for a new church and hope every thing falls into place, but don't wait on the one or the other. Good advice. Last night as dh and I were processing, he suggested looking at both rental properties and sale properties for a couple weeks and seeing how that process affects our thinking. I am stressed about the time it will take (and resultant effect on our lives, schedule, education) but will need to just buckle down and do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 22, 2010 Author Share Posted October 22, 2010 Well, one of the benefits of buying in the near future is that housing prices have got to be pretty close to as low as they as going to go but interests rates are going to go up. It would be best to buy with prices and rates low. We bought right before the market tanked but luckily we got a really low rate. Yes, this is definitely another strong consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Renting is flushing your money down the toilet. It doesn't benefit *you*, just your landlord. If you can buy another place, thats what I'd vote for. Then, at least, the monthly bill is actually doing *you* some good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in FL Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 You might be able to choose a church relatively quickly which would be a plus for buying over renting. When we moved to NC - we knew of some online church directories to get us started (9marks.org is the one we prefer). We then perused websites and downloaded sermons. DH also met with the pastor of the most likely church and grilled him with all our questions! We basically had a church home within the first couple of weeks of moving. How far away is the new job? Is it such that you can visit churches before you move? If so - then you will be able to pin point a neighborhood. As far as rentals - have you spoken to a realtor? We found that the listings realtor's had access to were more extensive then what we found on realtor.com and craigslist. You might want to check that out before ruling out renting. As to the issue of how close to move to your in-laws - I'm wondering if one benefit to being closer would be access to "emergency" transportation if you were in a bind and bith you and dh needed the car. i.e. a grandparent may be available to transport a child to an extra-curricular activity or help out with a sick visit to the doctor. Summary - try to find a church first, without taking weeks and weeks - then buy a house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 I HATE moving. But I'd rather move twice than have that kind of commute everyday with a family at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Renting is flushing your money down the toilet. It doesn't benefit *you*, just your landlord. Enh. When you are upside down on your mortgage, you have not gotten much use from that money either, just tied yourself to the location. There are benefits to renting that are being seen clearer in today's market than they have in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 Enh. When you are upside down on your mortgage, you have not gotten much use from that money either, just tied yourself to the location. There are benefits to renting that are being seen clearer in today's market than they have in the past. Agreed! We have rented our whole lives. Buying is not an option for us and we have a mutually beneficial renting situation. Things are not always one-sided and we are not throwing our money away by any means. I would look at both possibilities. I am not sure I would want to commit to buying a home until I had found my church. I would also want to be as close to dh's work as possible. What are the top five priorities you have for your home? I would list those out and start from there. Congratulations on the new changes! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted October 22, 2010 Share Posted October 22, 2010 There are benefits to renting that are being seen clearer in today's market than they have in the past. :iagree:Houses are often money pits and you don't always see that money when you sell. It's not the sure investment it once was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest grenJen Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 In short terms: rent, and then consider buying (for me this was best solution,so I hope it will be for you too)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 old thread, check the date! I didn't Strider was moving again, although Rangers have been known to wander. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 old thread, check the date! I didn't Strider was moving again, although Rangers have been known to wander. ;) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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