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My former SIL passed away on Monday

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I hadn't seen her in, oh I don't know, 7 years or so. When my ex and I split 9 years ago that whole side fo teh family cut off contact with us. The last time I saw her she was in the hospital.


About a month ago she caught some infection, dr's never could figure it out. Due to a blood disorder she was a born with, a missing spleen(had it removed the last time I saw her), and a painkiller addiction going back as many years, the whole thing snowballed like crazy. It got to the point where teh blood stopped circulating to her extremities and last week they started amputations to try and save her life. In the end it was not enough and on Monday morning she passed away.


I am in a weird place about it, on one hand I am very sad to hear about it, about 1 month before the ex and I got married, my sil, bil and their kids moved in with us. I felt pretty close to them back then. While it has been years, I am still concenred for her husband and their 3 kids, ages 15/16, 13 and 6(I never met the littlest one). On the other hand I feel almost like it is wrong for me to be this upset because it had been so many years since we saw them, and they are the ones that chose to cut off contact with me and the kids. I almost feel like I negate the horror of it by simply feeling the grief, very very bizarre feeling.


I want to be able to do something for them but of course am not able to, simply out of the constraints of the separation with my ex. It was amde clear 9 years ago by that entire side that me and my kids were not welcome kwim, so even something simple like a card etc I feel I can't do. I have been praying for the kids and her husband because they stop me from doing that little bit though and I do believe they can use allt eh prayers they can get.


There really is no purpose in my post other than getting it all out, so thanks for reading/listening.

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