DarcyB Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Reading one of the FB peeve threads, AuntieM was made about one-upping folks. I got to thinking..wondering if I do that. Often, if I'm talking with a friend, and they share something, I might share that I had a similar thing happen, but not intending for it to be "yeah - I can top that", but "yeah, I understand because ____ happened to me, too". And I wonder if it comes off to others as sometimes trying to "TOP THAT". It's one of those reflective moments in a brief bit of quiet I have in the house at the moment while the boys are finishing up their pyramid LOL I like her advice "Rejoice with those who rejoice, grieve with those who grieve" and keep your extraneous comments to yourself. Good goal for the week :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Me too. It's a fine line. Every once in awhile I come upon one of and then I feel better :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I think there's a big difference between commiserating with someone and one-upping them. My husband often does the latter. If I say I have a headache, he will respond with, "You?! My head is about to cleave in two!" okaaay... But having someone say, "I'm sorry. I get horrible headaches, too," somehow helps me feel better; it's the old misery loves company thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I think there's a big difference between commiserating with someone and one-upping them. My husband often does the latter. If I say I have a headache, he will respond with, "You?! My head is about to cleave in two!" okaaay... But having someone say, "I'm sorry. I get horrible headaches, too," somehow helps me feel better; it's the old misery loves company thing. Exactly. I have one friend who will commiserate with me and one who will always try to 'go one better.' I know who I call when things get tough. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patchfire Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 I think there's a big difference between commiserating with someone and one-upping them. My husband often does the latter. If I say I have a headache, he will respond with, "You?! My head is about to cleave in two!" okaaay... But having someone say, "I'm sorry. I get horrible headaches, too," somehow helps me feel better; it's the old misery loves company thing. Exactly. I also try to make someone's joy solely about them - not "Oh, congratulations! I remember when I found out I was having a baby, I was so... blah blah blah." I have a friend who is pregnant, and posted on fb that she was sad, b/c her mother is living overseas right now, and won't be able to be at the birth. She had at least three "friends" chastise her, because after all, at least her mother was /alive/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmy Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Knowing you somewhat personally Darcy, I highly doubt you come across that way. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Reading one of the FB peeve threads, AuntieM was made about one-upping folks. I got to thinking..wondering if I do that. Often, if I'm talking with a friend, and they share something, I might share that I had a similar thing happen, but not intending for it to be "yeah - I can top that", but "yeah, I understand because ____ happened to me, too". And I wonder if it comes off to others as sometimes trying to "TOP THAT". It's one of those reflective moments in a brief bit of quiet I have in the house at the moment while the boys are finishing up their pyramid LOL I like her advice "Rejoice with those who rejoice, grieve with those who grieve" and keep your extraneous comments to yourself. Good goal for the week :) I know! I do the same thing! I go on and on and then realize what I'm doing but still can't stop. I just can't believe I do that! :001_smile: Seriously, I do have to check myself. I mean for it to be, "Yes, I know what you mean and can relate" but I think it does sometimes come across as one-upping and self-centered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gpsings Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 My MIL. We actually call her the 'One-Upper'. My dh actually tagged her that. She one-ups my kids when they tell her they read something. It's pathetic. I really haven't seen that from anyone here. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 My MIL. We actually call her the 'One-Upper'. My dh actually tagged her that. She one-ups my kids when they tell her they read something. It's pathetic.I really haven't seen that from anyone here. ;) Oh yeah? Well let me tell you about my MIL. . .:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gpsings Posted October 13, 2010 Share Posted October 13, 2010 Oh yeah? Well let me tell you about my MIL. . .:D :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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