It's so disturbing, I can't turn away

[JenniferB]

I can't believe I'm still watching Sister Wives even though I could hardly sleep after watching the first few episodes. But, I did watch it again last night. On the last episode Meri, Kody's 1st wife, reminds Kody of her jealousy issues, and that her feelings are somewhat raw because Kody is engaged to Robin, who will become his 4th wife. She tries to get Kody to understand her feelings by asking him how he would feel if she were dating another man. He responds by saying he is sickened by the idea and won't even bring himself to imagine such a thought that is so against God and man. What the, huh?

 

This is so disturbing to me. It's especially unfair to Kody's first wife who has only one child, and hardly any of Kody's time. What makes Kody so special that he should divide himself among 4 wives and 16 children, and they should all pine for his attention?

[Jennifer in MI]

I know!!!!! It's like a train wreck, isn't it? I just have to watch, but parts of it make my skin crawl - like that comment last night. I like how honest the show is though. I've always wondered that about polygamist relationships. How do they deal with the jealousy issues? And, why can't the woman take on another husband?

 

Did you see the one where one of the daughters admits that she'll only marry one man? I wonder how the "moms" feel about that. I mean, is that okay with them?

 

Anyway, I'm watching too. I hate to admit it, but I am.

[Plucky]

I've only watched the first one, but why can't the wives bring in some "brother husbands?" LOL

[Veritaserum]

I can't look away, either. I think his comment was something about how he couldn't even think about something as vulgar as one woman and two men. I cringed when he kissed Robyn while Christine was in labor. Is Robyn going to keep her own place or are they going to steal space for the other wives in order to make room for Robyn and her kids in the big house? What I find really strange is that Meri is the one who keeps finding new women for Kody to marry.

[MindyD]

I've only watched the first one, but why can't the wives bring in some "brother husbands?" LOL

 

:lol:I've thought the same thing!

[Jennifer in MI]

What I find really strange is that Meri is the one who keeps finding new women for Kody to marry.

 

YES!!!!!! And then to be so jealous. Martyr syndrome? (Is there such a thing?)

[Elizabeth in MN]

I really like the show and, IMO, they are doing a great job.

[i.love.lucy]

Count me among the freaked out who can't seem to not watch.

 

Hmmmmm... do you think the producers knew this?:glare:;)

 

The whole thing is so strange and counter-cultural. I know homeschooling is too, so I try to relate, but I can't help but go back to one man for one woman and how their living situation seems so odd. I suppose I can see the benefits though too. Plenty of moms around to watch little ones and kiss boo-boos. Less pressure on each wife for all her wifely ... ahem... duties. You know, like laundry.:lol: But those jealousy feelings are real, and I think her instincts are telling her this is just not natural.

[LauraGB]

You guys are simultaneously making me glad we don't have cable AND kind of wishing we did :leaving:.

[Jennifer in MI]

The whole thing is so strange and counter-cultural. I know homeschooling is too, so I try to relate, but I can't help but go back to one man for one woman and how their living situation seems so odd. I suppose I can see the benefits though too. Plenty of moms around to watch little ones and kiss boo-boos. Less pressure on each wife for all her wifely ... ahem... duties. You know, like laundry.:lol: But those jealousy feelings are real, and I think her instincts are telling her this is just not natural.

 

Bingo!! I can see the benefits too. I love the idea of another woman here to help me! I've often joked that I could use another wife. (To do laundry!! LOL) Really, can you imagine how nice it would be to have another woman to talk with during the day? Someone to cook with? Someone to clean with? It would be nice. But. just. not. natural.

[dm379]

You guys are simultaneously making me glad we don't have cable AND kind of wishing we did :leaving:.

 

 

My thoughts exactly. I kind of want to see.

[gaillardia]

Uh, yeah, oh, yuck.

There is only one queen in this castle.

 

What is healthy about watching a show you think is sick, eh?

TEHO.

[Jennifer in MI]

Uh, yeah, oh, yuck.

There is only one queen in this castle.

 

What is healthy about watching a show you think is sick, eh?

TEHO.

 

But, see. This is the issue. I don't necessarily think it's sick. I think it's different. And, occasionally, there are things I don't agree with. And, yes, they make my stomach turn. But, there are benefits too!

 

See? This is why I can't turn away!!

[abbeyej]

I've only watched the first one, but why can't the wives bring in some "brother husbands?" LOL

 

Well, because of the structure of their religion. The after-life planets are doled out to the husbands and populated by their wives and children -- if the wives marry multiple times (obviously that's only done successively, not simultaneously), only one of those "counts" as her true spiritual marriage that will last after death (and thus give her a place on a husband's planet)...

[2cents]

When I watch the show I keep coming up with all kinds of legal and psychological related questions. Just my own observation, Mari and #3 seem depressed with anxiety as well. Kody seems smug and controlling. I suspect that if he wants something he will get it. He acts immature for his age (like an aging surfer dude). #4 wife IMO may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. She looks high maintenance (mentally) compared to the others. Can't stop watching. It is such a peculiar lifestyle. :lurk5:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I can't believe I'm still watching Sister Wives even though I could hardly sleep after watching the first few episodes. But, I did watch it again last night. On the last episode Meri, Kody's 1st wife, reminds Kody of her jealousy issues, and that her feelings are somewhat raw because Kody is engaged to Robin, who will become his 4th wife. She tries to get Kody to understand her feelings by asking him how he would feel if she were dating another man. He responds by saying he is sickened by the idea and won't even bring himself to imagine such a thought that is so against God and man. What the, huh?

 

This is so disturbing to me. It's especially unfair to Kody's first wife who has only one child, and hardly any of Kody's time. What makes Kody so special that he should divide himself among 4 wives and 16 children, and they should all pine for his attention?

:iagree: Fortunately we don't have cable:D

[Jennifer in MI]

Well, because of the structure of their religion. The after-life planets are doled out to the husbands and populated by their wives and children -- if the wives marry multiple times (obviously that's only done successively, not simultaneously), only one of those "counts" as her true spiritual marriage that will last after death (and thus give her a place on a husband's planet)...

 

Wait. What? Is this a Mormon thing? Just curious.

 

When I watch the show I keep coming up with all kinds of legal and psychological related questions. Just my own observation, Mari and #3 seem depressed with anxiety as well. Kody seems smug and controlling. I suspect that if he wants something he will get it. He acts immature for his age (like an aging surfer dude). #4 wife IMO may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. She looks high maintenance (mentally) compared to the others. Can't stop watching. It is such a peculiar lifestyle. :lurk5:

 

I go back and forth on Kody. One minute I like him because he's good with the kids and the next, I'm annoyed because he's immature with the wives.

[gaillardia]

I guess this is another one of the reasons it bothers me.

Everyone will think that this interpretation of the "Mormons" means that this is doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Not so.

 

More than one group of religious peoples broke off from the original church and some do call themselves "Mormons." But if they broke off from the original church which was founded in the 1800's, their names were blotted out from the records of the church. The records of the church are kept current. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there are 15 million people world-wide who are members also. There are currently more outside of the US than in the US.

We do not practice polygamy.

My sil knows of a community in Montana who call themselves "Mormons" and she told me they practice polygamy, teach the girls to marry young, quit school, have lots of kids. That they don't know where the family dividing lines are, this is not the true doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of LDS.

[Cinder]

I just finished reading Triumph, Carolyn Jessop's follow-up to Escape. She was in the FLDS and her books detail a lot about how the wives are controlled. At least in her experience, the wives didn't actually share the workload of housework and childcare. The wives were at the mercy of their husbands and the prophet and sometimes even the children, who were turned against them in further effort to control them. The wives were also so entrenched in their belief that obedience to their husband and to the prophet was their key to salvation.

 

I haven't seen Sister Wives so I don't know if they espouse these same I beliefs. I'll admit a slight morbid curiousity. But after reading Jessop's account, I don't think I have the stomach to satisfy that curiosity.

 

Cinder

[JenniferB]

I do not like Kody's personality or his looks, but I do think he's good with the kids. I like how he handled his oldest daughter's request to return to the homeschool co-op/private school. He was very encouraging about her going into the military and med school, while still explaining the requirements, such as the Governor's recommendation and a public school diploma. I like how they are not dogmatic about raising their kids to follow their lifestyle, but giving them the freedom to choose for themselves. I think they are genuinely open minded and will accept the choices their children make. However, when Kody flips his hair back and forth as he decides which way he's supposed to go, i.e. which wife's house he's supposed to be in, it adds to the chaos and makes him seem really scatter-brained.

[justamouse]

Count me in as another one who is sickeningly fascinated.

 

I think Kody thinks he's all that though -I mean, he's the wanna be rock star of polygamy.

 

And, yeah, I think they should bring in some brother husband's, too. Sauce for the goose and all that. ;)

[Veritaserum]

These folks live like half an hour away from me, which feels strange. I've lived in Utah for 13 years and had no idea that there were fairly average-looking (dress, demeanor) polygamists around here. The prairie-dress variety are easy to spot. ;) Since the predominant religion is LDS (the mainstream "Mormon" church), which does NOT practice polygamy, few people around here are familiar with it is as a lifestyle.

 

I see positives and (lots of) negatives. I think they do a decent job within their family. I think it's concerning that Meri and Christine, who obviously have "jealousy issues", like to harp on how polygamy "makes them better people". I guess I have my doubts as to whether or not stuffing down legitimate feelings of jealousy/pain that your husband is with another woman constitutes becoming a better person. Meri seems ready to walk out at times.

[Hockey Mom]

When I watch the show I keep coming up with all kinds of legal and psychological related questions. Just my own observation, Mari and #3 seem depressed with anxiety as well. Kody seems smug and controlling. I suspect that if he wants something he will get it. He acts immature for his age (like an aging surfer dude). #4 wife IMO may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. She looks high maintenance (mentally) compared to the others. Can't stop watching. It is such a peculiar lifestyle. :lurk5:

 

:iagree:

 

Wife #4 annoys me. I think it's because her crying seems so...on cue.

 

I flat-out can't stand Kody.

 

I just finished reading Triumph, Carolyn Jessop's follow-up to Escape. She was in the FLDS and her books detail a lot about how the wives are controlled. At least in her experience, the wives didn't actually share the workload of housework and childcare. The wives were at the mercy of their husbands and the prophet and sometimes even the children, who were turned against them in further effort to control them. The wives were also so entrenched in their belief that obedience to their husband and to the prophet was their key to salvation.

 

I haven't seen Sister Wives so I don't know if they espouse these same I beliefs. I'll admit a slight morbid curiousity. But after reading Jessop's account, I don't think I have the stomach to satisfy that curiosity.

 

Cinder

 

That's interesting, as that is what I always thought (based on what I've read over the years). However, the show doesn't really depict that. The kids are pretty "normal", and the wives seems "normal" too (except for the fact they're in a polygamous marriage). Of course, we have no way of knowing what it's like off screen either.

[Hockey Mom]

These folks live like half an hour away from me, which feels strange. I've lived in Utah for 13 years and had no idea that there were fairly average-looking (dress, demeanor) polygamists around here. The prairie-dress variety are easy to spot. ;) Since the predominant religion is LDS (the mainstream "Mormon" church), which does NOT practice polygamy, few people around here are familiar with it is as a lifestyle.

 

I see positives and (lots of) negatives. I think they do a decent job within their family. I think it's concerning that Meri and Christine, who obviously have "jealousy issues", like to harp on how polygamy "makes them better people". I guess I have my doubts as to whether or not stuffing down legitimate feelings of jealousy/pain that your husband is with another woman constitutes becoming a better person. Meri seems ready to walk out at times.

 

It's funny you mention that. I was wondering if the whole purpose of finding wife #4 was to replace Meri for when her DD leaves the family. Meri definitely seems detached from the whole situation. And you have to wonder what 20 years of stuffing your true feelings does to a person.

[Snickerdoodle]

I just googled this to see what it was (since we don't have a telly).

 

Holy cow. :001_huh: That's all I can say.

[Quad Shot Academy]

What I find really strange is that Meri is the one who keeps finding new women for Kody to marry.

 

:iagree: especially since she has talked a couple times about wanting to leave Kody and being very unhappy. Sometimes I wonder if she is trying to distract him, so she can be left alone; other times I wonder if she is punishing herself.

 

What I find most fascinating is that the women work, are fairly independent, seem to make mutual decisions with Kody, seem to use birth control and wear fashionable clothes, but are polygamists. It seems so contradictory to me!