A strange homeschool comment

[Karen in CO]

I had thought that I'd heard most comments about homeschooling, but this one left me temporarily speechless.

 

My youngest has been making friends with the neighborhood kids so yesterday I got to meet some of their parents. One mom mentioned that she hasn't seen us at the bus stop (which is on my corner). I replied that we homeschool. She said, "Really? I'm not smart enough to homeschool." My mind went blank, but hubby stepped in with the save and a smile, "Somedays we feel that way too."

 

Golly. I'm getting used to the comments from parents who declare that they couldn't stand to spend all day with their kids and the comments from parents that ask if its legal.

 

I just can't imagine declaring to strangers that I think I'm not as smart as a kindergärtner - since we were discussing my K dd.

 

What is a good response to this type of statement, besides a polite smile?

 

What statements have left you speechless about homeschooling?

Edited October 8, 2010 by Karen in CO

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

That's really sad.

[Ravin]

I probably would have said, "It's not exactly rocket science at this age, and there are a gagillion curriculums and resources out there to draw from."

 

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

[Karen in CO]

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

 

:lol:

[FO4UR]

I've gotten comments like that. I usually respond with "Of course, you are/could!" If you can ...(something I know they do well)..., you can hs a Ker. I drop it from there, unless they ask me more. Sometimes other moms are looking for some kind of reassurance that they *can* do it and I'm not some alien dropped down from the planet of HSers. Sometimes they just want a nice way to say "That's great for you, but please don't guilt me that mine boards the yellow bus."

[Pretty in Pink]

I think your dh's response was fine. It's what I would say. Who knows why she said that, ya know? She could have just been trying to pass the bean dip and put her foot in her mouth. No biggie.

 

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

 

Bwahahahahah!

[celticmom]

When people claim that homeschooling must be difficult to me, I point out that most of the challenges in a typical classromm arise from the number of children the teacher is trying to teach at once. Most children are much easier to teach one on one.

[stripe]

I had a soon-to-be midwife comment on this (i.e., she already had a BA and was about to receive her master's); given that her child was 12, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I think people assume there's some magic to it. I told her I understood her concern. I think it comes from a good place.

[mrs.m]

I often get that comment. I take it as a nice pass the bean dip comment. So I change the subject because I'm not the local homeschooling sales person. ;)

[Gooblink]

I like your husband's response. It was a humble, light-hearted way to address the comment.

[Mejane]

awww, poor thing. Based on that comment, I think she might be right. ;)

[dani3boys]

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

 

Gotta love Bones!:001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

It sounds like a compliment to you. :001_smile: I would assume that she was trying to be nice.

 

Also, she may have not just been thinking of kindergarten, but of the years to follow. Many people don't understand that there are resources to help parents who are not able to teach some of the more advanced subjects, simply because they are not familiar with homeschool materials in the way homeschoolers are.

[Impish]

 

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

Bones kills me :lol:

[always cookin']

She might be thinking long-term, not just kindergarten. My husband and I both have Masters ( a few each), and every day I think I am not qualified to teach several different subjects (writing being one of them).

[Teachin'Mine]

awww, poor thing. Based on that comment, I think she might be right. ;)

 

:lol:

[Carrie12345]

What statements have left you speechless about homeschooling?

 

Dh got one just the other day, from a man who just moved here from Belgium.

 

"Wouldn't your wife rather send them all to school so she can use that time to clean the house and prepare your meals?"

 

*I* would have had a million and one responses to that, lol!

[Quad Shot Academy]

 

What statements have left you speechless about homeschooling?

 

Recently a bagger at the grocery store was talking to my 10yos while I was talking to the checker. I heard her say, "You will never go prom. How do you feel about that? :confused: (like my 10yos cares) You will never be able to go to college w/o a diploma. What are you going to do?" :glare: I interjected that he would take the SAT like everyone else, get a good score and have no problems going to college.

 

The next time we went in she asked if I was certified to teach kids and what I had to do to get approved to do such a thing. :001_huh:

[Karen in CO]

"Wouldn't your wife rather send them all to school so she can use that time to clean the house and prepare your meals?"

 

!

 

Wow. I've never heard that one. :lol: clean the house and prepare the meals. preposterous!:D

[patchfire]

It sounds like a compliment to you. :001_smile: I would assume that she was trying to be nice.

 

:iagree:

 

I have had people say more explicitly to me, "I wish I as smart as you, I'm not smart enough to homeschool." I demur, thank them for the compliment, and then assure them that I believe they are selling themselves short. About 10% of the time, I will get more questions, as the person is truly doubtful but curious. The rest of the time, they smile, thank me, and we've had a nice passing of the bean dip that leaves both of us feeling better afterwards.

[EJCMom]

I think a lot of times the people who make these comments aren't intending to be rude. They just truly don't know what else to say so an "open mouth, insert foot" comment pops out.

 

I think your husband's response was perfect.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I've heard that comment a lot since my dc have arrived in Jr. High/High School. The usual comment is, "How can you teach upper math? What about Chemistry and Physics?" My usual reply is, "I have to study a lot to be able to teach it to my dc. It's just a little bit more of a commitment than it was when they were in elementary school."

 

I understand that feeling. There are days I feel like I can't do it either. I don't have outside resources here to help farm it out, so I do a LOT of studying! But, God is so good--He equips me to do what I have to do and I'm learning so much!:001_smile:

[Kate CA]

Recently a bagger at the grocery store was talking to my 10yos while I was talking to the checker. I heard her say, "You will never go prom. How do you feel about that? :confused: (like my 10yos cares) You will never be able to go to college w/o a diploma. What are you going to do?" :glare: I interjected that he would take the SAT like everyone else, get a good score and have no problems going to college.

 

The next time we went in she asked if I was certified to teach kids and what I had to do to get approved to do such a thing. :001_huh:

 

I know these kinds of questions are really just asked out of curiosity, but sometimes I want to answer, "Nope. We do it all secretly and illegally." :lol:

[christine in al]

about adoption and honestly , it was a sub concious and awkward way of exploring the possibility. might not be the case here..but maybe sometimes it is. And it does sound like she was reaching out in a complimentary way.

I love our " pass the bean dip" analogy

 

And about the grocery bagger giving career advice... really? a grocery bagger?

 

My real answer for any " I could never do that" sort of comment was learned from an old mountain , hippy fiddler who chose to do that rather than hold a " real job" Anyone can be a musician, you just have to want it more than you want anything else. Anyone can homeschool, you just have to want it more than you want anything else.

 

And from the same source, when folks tell JD that he should do this or that and he's wasting his life.. etc. he just looks at them and smiles and says, " Thank you"

stops 'em every time.

 

~Christine in al

[Kate CA]

She said, "Really? I'm not smart enough to homeschool."

 

I really don't think people understand that they are saying they can't teach a K child. I know that most people think the whole span of schooling.

 

I know I am smart enough to do it, but it doesn't mean it isn't a little scarier now that I have a 10th grade student! :D

 

I have had the same thing said to me and it always sort of makes me giggle because it is pretty silly to say such a thing. Often they have college degrees too!

 

Most of the time people just tell me they could never do that and it usually relates to the relationship/behavior of their children. That response always makes me sad.

[Mimm]

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

 

That made me laugh. :)

[MSNative]

Dh got one just the other day, from a man who just moved here from Belgium.

 

"Wouldn't your wife rather send them all to school so she can use that time to clean the house and prepare your meals?"

 

*I* would have had a million and one responses to that, lol!

 

Gosh yes. I often dream of the day I can send my little kiddies off, don my poodle skirt and high heels and vacuum the day away. Ahhhh, paradise.

 

 

What comment blows me away? I always get the comment that since I homeschool I must be very organized!!!:lol::lol::lol: Oh, yeah. Um, just don't come in my house and open any drawer.

[LibraryLover]

I wouldn't read too much into that, and certainly nothing negative about you (or her). I put it in the 'just trying to make conversation' camp. Nothing more, nothing less, so no arm chair psychiatric counseling from me. :D

[MariannNOVA]

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I thought your dh's comment was quite appropriate -- my dh would have said the comment above from Ravin.

 

I might have responded that feeling inadequate or ill-prepared is probably a common emotion regarding homechooling.

[KidsHappen]

I think that it is just like any big project. A person who has never done it before looks at the completed project and assumes that they could never do such a thing but if they had a plan and did one step at a time they would come to realize that they probably could in fact complete the project.

 

I never get comments like this and to tell the truth my response would probably be somewhat akin to Bones (my hubby says I frequently talk like that). But if I wanted to make the effort to convince someone that they could in fact do this, I would start with questions like, "Well, do/did you teach your child their colors, shapes, numbers, letters?" "Could you teach them than 1+1=2?" How about 2+2=4?" "Could you teach them the sounds that the letters make?" If they soon realized that they could teach their children these things slowly step by step then I would assure them that they could in fact teach their children if they so chose. If they didn't, well then I guess I would have to agree with them. ;)

[Guest]

I like your husband's response. It was a humble, light-hearted way to address the comment.

 

I agree.

 

IMO, she was just paying you a compliment! I wouldn't have had a second thought about it.

[Quad Shot Academy]

 

And about the grocery bagger giving career advice... really? a grocery bagger?

 

 

 

~Christine in al

 

Trust me, it was really difficult to bite my tongue on that one. "A lot of good that diploma seems to have done you." ;)

[silliness7]

I like your husband's response. It was a humble, light-hearted way to address the comment.

 

:iagree: I get similar remarks from friends. "How do you do it all?" "I don't have that much patience" Comments that make me think people think I'm some kind of super mom or that they are not super mom. I usually try for a lighthearted response that conveys the fact that I'm a normal person with normal flaws and average patience...just like everyone else. And my kids are normal kids with normal flaws and average intelligence too. :001_smile:

[mommaduck]

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

:lol: Love this!

[newlifemom]

Recently a bagger at the grocery store was talking to my 10yos while I was talking to the checker. I heard her say, "You will never go prom. How do you feel about that? :confused: (like my 10yos cares) You will never be able to go to college w/o a diploma. What are you going to do?" :glare: I interjected that he would take the SAT like everyone else, get a good score and have no problems going to college.

 

The next time we went in she asked if I was certified to teach kids and what I had to do to get approved to do such a thing. :001_huh:

 

I get that she may be an astrophysicist that is moonlighting or didn't like the pressure, but I too have to say:

 

Really, a bagger?

[Kathleen in VA]

Keep in mind too, that lots of parents have been duped into thinking that teaching (even kindergarten!) is a highly refined science and must be learned at college. I think some parents are actually afraid to teach their children anything for fear they will mess them up before they go to school. She probably was just trying to say that she doesn't know how to teach anyone how to read or learn simple addition and subtraction because those are skills one acquires from taking teaching training classes.

 

I sometimes respond to this kind of comment by telling the parent that the most important thing a teacher needs to know is the student, so the parents are already miles ahead of where any teacher ever could be. When I taught kindergarten and first grade, it took me at least 2-3 months, often longer with some struggling learners, to figure out the children in my class and how to best to teach them. Teaching my own has been tons easier simply because I've known them all their lives. It's hard to convince someone of this in a short converstaion though.

 

Usually I just explain that homeschooling is a huge industry and there are a countless resources available - some that actually tell you exactly what to say - available to parents who want to homeschool. I think a whole lot of parents think you just pick up the texts from the public school and teach them at home - they really are clueless about what's available on the homeschool market.

[Tree House Academy]

That was one of the first comments I got when we pulled my son out to homeschool...but it made me angry because I felt like the woman was suggesting I was also not smart enough to educate my children. Our sons are the same age. Of course, I had to laugh when she followed the statement with, "teachers go to school for that kind of thing..." I realized she has absolutely no clue, whatsoever. Teachers learn crowd control...not how to teach a certain subject (not in grammar school, anyway, and that is what we were talking about at the time). Amusingly enough, this woman is a nurse. Apparently she thinks herself intelligent enough to be in the medical field and work to save lives on a daily basis, but not intelligent enough to teach 3rd grade math. Oh-kay. LOL

[Food4Thought]

The next time we went in she asked if I was certified to teach kids and what I had to do to get approved to do such a thing. :001_huh:

 

I've heard that one too. I think the direct quote was, "How can you do that, legally?" I flattered myself that she was really curious and gave her a run down of Washington State homeschool law. Next time I think I'll just try to pass the bean dip. :tongue_smilie:

[Annie Laurie]

RE the grocery store bagger: The comment the bagger made is annoying, but I just have to say that being a bagger doesn't mean one isn't educated. Sometimes people have to take the job that is available. Or they just want to work a job with little commitment and flexible hours because they have kids they're home with or a career goal that doesn't pay well in the meantime. I don't assume one's line of work necessarily reflects their level of education.

 

But I'm also not one who is impressed by college degrees- some of the most educated people I've know are those who never went to college, but have a lot of experience with various skills and have sought out knowledge for themselves. Just as I know people with degrees who can not seem to think outside of the box or think for themselves.

 

Sorry about my OT tangent.

[Hedgehog]

Gosh yes. I often dream of the day I can send my little kiddies off, don my poodle skirt and high heels and vacuum the day away. Ahhhh, paradise.

 

 

What comment blows me away? I always get the comment that since I homeschool I must be very organized!!!:lol::lol::lol: Oh, yeah. Um, just don't come in my house and open any drawer.

 

:lol: I think I'd vacuum in flats!

 

I get the "you must be organized" comment a lot.. that laughs me.. just don't come into my house. period. Then we can preserve the illusion ;)

[newlifemom]

I get the "you must be organized" comment a lot.. that laughs me.. just don't come into my house. period. Then we can preserve the illusion ;)

 

'Zactly! :D

[Quad Shot Academy]

RE the grocery store bagger: The comment the bagger made is annoying, but I just have to say that being a bagger doesn't mean one isn't educated.

 

I agree. It could also be that she feels like she would have a better job if she got her diploma. I have no idea if she graduated or not! Her tone of voice was not one of friendliness or curiosity though so it is hard to not think of equally snotty retorts.

[Miss Sherry]

I had thought that I'd heard most comments about homeschooling, but this one left me temporarily speechless.

 

My youngest has been making friends with the neighborhood kids so yesterday I got to meet some of their parents. One mom mentioned that she hasn't seen us at the bus stop (which is on my corner). I replied that we homeschool. She said, "Really? I'm not smart enough to homeschool." My mind went blank, but hubby stepped in with the save and a smile, "Somedays we feel that way too."

 

Golly. I'm getting used to the comments from parents who declare that they couldn't stand to spend all day with their kids and the comments from parents that ask if its legal.

 

I just can't imagine declaring to strangers that I think I'm not as smart as a kindergärtner - since we were discussing my K dd.

 

What is a good response to this type of statement, besides a polite smile?

 

What statements have left you speechless about homeschooling?

I didn't read all of the responses so I may be repeating.

 

I don't think that is an unusual response or thought for people to have. My guess is she was thinking about teaching her child in general - probably not just Kindergarten, and has been conditioned by our society to think there is a lot of mystery and difficulties to it that can only be addressed and properly handled by professionals with years and years of education.

 

People unfamiliar with homeschooling tend to have a hard time visualizing how it can be done.

I don't think her comment was about you at all but about her own insecurities on the subject.

[tricia]

Oh do I have a reply for that lady!! When she admitted to not being smart enough to homeschool then THAT should tell her something about the place she is obviously sending her kid to be educated!

 

"If YOU aren't smart enough to homeschool, then why do you send your kids to the same place you went to school? You don't mind raising another dummy such as yourself!"

[NanceXToo]

I would have smiled and said, "Oh, it's easy at this age, and as they get older, you don't have to know everything- you just have to be willing to learn with them, or able to help them find out what they need to know. Sometimes we learn as we go!"

 

At the most, I usually just get a question or two, like a "why do you homeschool," or "how do you get your materials?" or "Are you going to do it all the way through high school" but that's usually about it.

[grace'smom]

:lol: I think I'd vacuum in flats!

 

I get the "you must be organized" comment a lot.. that laughs me.. just don't come into my house. period. Then we can preserve the illusion ;)

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

 

Or I might have gone Bones on her and said simply, "I am."

:lol::lol:

Lovin' this reply. Could you have said it with a deadpan delivery?

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Dh got one just the other day, from a man who just moved here from Belgium.

 

"Wouldn't your wife rather send them all to school so she can use that time to clean the house and prepare your meals?"

 

:lol::lol:

[kalanamak]

I She said, "Really? I'm not smart enough to homeschool."

 

I have heard this. I don't feel that way about myself, but if I did sincerely think that, I would say it, outright, too. I find the most wonderful part of the social part of aging, is a deeper and deeper confidence in following the old advice for someone addressing an audience: Be sincere, be brief, be seated.

 

Long I have contemplated some sentences I've heard in my life, and how they punctuate my sleepless moments more than whole books, or films, or conversations. If I can, by confident bluntness, assert my considered opinion of myself or others, might I seed others with those kind of words that haunt and guide me. I don't think her declaration is profound, but perhaps it is just an example of her undramatic honesty. I would think her worth getting to know a bit. But clearly I admire blunt people.

 

Or she's just a whiny loon who will dump on you constantly. :)

[Allearia]

Keep in mind too, that lots of parents have been duped into thinking that teaching (even kindergarten!) is a highly refined science and must be learned at college. I think some parents are actually afraid to teach their children anything for fear they will mess them up before they go to school.

 

:iagree:

Once at my son's preschool I had recommended the LeapFrog phonics videos to another parent and her daughter loved them. She was worried though when her daughter started reading and had to ask the teacher if she thought it was OK or if she was damaging her daughter by letting her learn phonics and read. :confused: