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Okay, I've thought about asking this before, but it's really putting myself out there in a way I'm very uncomfy doing.

 

What if....

 

What if you had two teenagers (a 10th grader and a college jr, in my case) and really wish you had done differently along the way? What if you really felt you had made some huge mistakes?

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I think we all have those thoughts. I know I have with my older two especially now that I have so much time to devote to my last. I would never had the time to learn along with them like I am now and after seeing how well he is prospering with this method I feel horrible about what the older two didn't get. But they have graduated and I can't do anything about it now. If I still had time, as you do, I would try to patch what holes I could and what holes I couldn't patch I would try to have some discussions with them to give them a brief understanding or overview. Mother guilt can be a heavy burden.

 

:grouphug:

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I often remind myself that, given what I had to work with, (my own weaknesses and sinful nature, as well as that of my children) I did the best I could at the time. For some unfathomable reason, God trusted me with these kids (personally, I'd have given an incompetent like me the easy kind of kids who almost raise themselves and have few if any major issues, instead of kids all over the autism/OCD spectrums.) I have to trust that He knows what he's doing. If nothing else, I've have learned and continue to learn one amazing truth. It's the reason my username is...

 

(His) Grace is Sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

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What if you really felt you had made some huge mistakes?

 

Sometimes I wonder this myself. Then I remind myself that there are no perfect people or perfect systems out there. Then I remind myself that we don't need to be perfect nor are we expected to be perfect. The sun still shines and life can still be enjoyed to its fullest.

 

BUT I will adjust things I can adjust if I think they aren't right when I find out about them.

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Talk with them about the mistakes, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and move on. Model the process of humbleness. It will be one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. At some time in their lives, they or someone they love will make mistakes, possibly great mistakes, and they will need to walk with humbleness, repententance and/or forgiveness.

Edited by 1Togo
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Regarding mistakes, there are two kinds of people. Those who don't or can't admit they've made any, and those who realize they have. :)

 

From your posts, you sound like an awesome mom. If we didn't think we've made any mistakes, then we've probably taken our role as mothers lightly and without retrospect. Join the club of those who've made mistakes. :)

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Okay, I've thought about asking this before, but it's really putting myself out there in a way I'm very uncomfy doing.

 

What if....

 

What if you had two teenagers (a 10th grader and a college jr, in my case) and really wish you had done differently along the way? What if you really felt you had made some huge mistakes?

 

 

 

Weeeeeelllll.....depends on the topic. Huge as in choosing the wrong math curriculum? Or huge as in you failed to model proper moral behavior? Or teach them Bible Truths.....or somewhere in between?

 

I agree with a) realize we are all imperfect b) we are doing the best we can and c) when you know better you do better (Maya Angelou)

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Just start with now and make some goals for the time you have left.

 

I didn't even start homeschooling til my middle child failed 9th grade, so there were some huge mistakes (she didn't even want to leave home in K :( ). I just looked at the time I had and I evaluated her, and then I sifted out my priorities. I wanted her to read the Bible thru, I wanted her to do algebra until she got it, I wanted her to pursue her gifts and try new things, I wanted to teach her how to be an adult, etc.

 

Each moment is precious; don't waste this moment thinking about the past moments.

 

Julie

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Well, in the case of my 36yos, I DID make huge mistakes. I was a lousy parent. But somehow he survived. I don't really sit around and think about it though. He's his wife's problem now. ;):D

That is a cute one. ;)

 

Heck, even when I was a schoolteacher in the 80's and 90's when we were told to embrace whole language and then a decade later to then embrace phonics... it can cause sleepness nights thinking of those little ones under my tutelage if they got a raw deal. I told myself back then (as I do now with my 10th grader) that I can only do my best. Even if ill equipped as a teacher back then. My thought was next year's teacher would fill in the gaps.

 

I have no other teacher to lean on this hs journey -- and worry still today if I am doing my best for my son's education. I do think that is normal and a sign of us wanting to improve and learn from our mistakes. Personally, I do suspect a teacher or hs parent who claims to be "perfect" -- now I know that person is not telling the truth. :D

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There is no "what if." for me. I am living that feeling every day. I look at my DD and ... well, to be honest , I don't have the words to describe what I feel. My memories flash back to the mom I wanted to be, to the promises I made to that sweet baby and I ask myself "What did I do that was so wrong?", "What could I have done differently?"

 

I know what a few of the problems are but I didn't think they would mainfest themselves in the behavior we see from our DD.

Edited by The Dragon Academy
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Thanks y'all...

 

I really feel I messed up MAJORLY and in just about every area. There are so many things I'd do differently if I were to raise children now. Anyway, I know it's their responsibility now though I can still have some influence. I just wish I had done differently all along <sigh>

 

:grouphug:

 

One of my favorite quotes is,

 

"Don't dwell on the past, you can't change it. Doing so can ruin the rest of your life and then you lose out twice."

 

I have no clue who to give credit to for the quote (possibly a pastor in a Sunday sermon), but it's one I've remembered since I was a teen - having grown up in a "not-so-good" situation.

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