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Torn - help please...need to make a decision by tomorrow AM.

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Should we use the 1 day a week public school program for homeschoolers?


I feel like my 13yo ds needs more socialization because he is introverted and doesn't want to meet new people. I've been toying with the idea of having him attend the public school 1 day a week program for homeschoolers. As it is, we do fine academically, schooling 4 days a week and using this program would only leave us 3 days for school.


He says he's fine. He has 1 homeschool friend that will soon be busy doing other things, 2 public school friends that he sees occassionally (maybe once a month) and that's it. Our area has a serious age gap of homeschool students his age. Every one is either older or a lot younger. I've tried to get people together for social time, but it never really works out or we just don't connect.


He's in homeschool band, but there isn't any socialization. It's just 45 minutes of sitting and practicing. He's also in Monart, but the only other student is an old lady that gives him chocolate at class. lol!


We did sign him up today and the classes start tomorrow, however I'm second guessing myself. The program started in September, so he'd be the new kid. That might make it harder on him.


So....what would you do with an introverted, anti-social kid? Would you make him go once a week to a publicly funded program that cuts into school work or let him be because he says he's fine and doesn't want to meet new people?

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An introverted, unsocial child being put into a situation that already started one day a week? Honestly, that sounds like sheer terror. I was introverted and quiet in school and being there 5 days a week made it somewhat bearable. I was able to have more experiences with the kids, homeschooling was totally unknown to us at that point, so I had to suck it up.


My ds is 13 and has limited friends. He's not a true introvert, but is quiet in new social situations. He would be horrified if I suggested going to public school one day a week just to socialize.


What is the program? Is it worthwhile besides just to socialize? What about the program makes you think it will be different than band?

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It may be just what he needs. Or it may be a nightmare. Some people just don't have the need for lots of friends or activities. I am one. I know how to be social when the need arises, but mostly when I was single I did things by myself and now that I am married, my social life pretty much consists of my dh. Well, and occassional knitting night outs. If he is content with the interaction he has, then it may be a waste of time.

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I would let him be. Academics are more important and since it sounds like you can't school 4 days and do the co-op the fifth, I would stick with what you are doing at home. I'm assuming that what you do at home is probably better but of course I don't really know that.:) Also while he doesn't have a lot of friends his age, he isn't that isolated. Many of us are around neighbors, co-workers etc. all day who we aren't really friends with but are friendly with.

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My kids are in a 1 day a week ps homeschool program in CO that started in September. They love it; however everythime I drop off my 5yo, I feel like she isn't ready for that. My dd9 tells me that I have seperation anxiety and it will get better for me.


Our program is terrific. Several shy kids that I have known for years are in this program and doing wonderfully. I'd venture to guess that there are as many shy kids in our program as their are kids whose parents sent them because they were social butterflies.


What were your reasons for signing up for this? Why did you choose this program? I'm sure you didn't sign up on a whim. Have any of your initial reasons changed? If not, then trust the process you already went through and don't second guess yourself.


Just make sure you are there early to pick him up.


btw, I hang out with my youngest in her class until she gives me the thumbs up that she's okay and I can leave - she is shy.

Edited by Karen in CO
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I used to think something was wrong with me because I would much rather sit at home, watching a good movie or reading or knitting or just sitting alone in the quiet.


I have a few friends, and some that I even call best friends and I even have a boyfriend of 3 years, but I would so much rather just sit at home and they all know that and respect that.


Maybe your son is the same. Maybe he doesn't feel he needs a lot of outside interactions.


Over the years, I have learned to become social when necessary, but otherwise, I hate socializing. I hate small talk and all the little pleasantries that come along with it.


If I was homeschooled all the way through and then was pushed into a class that had already begun and was only 1 day a week, I would feel like the odd one out, and totally petrified.


The fact that I attended PS 5 days a week probably helped me with my socialization fears, but 1 day a week would not have helped me come out of my shell. It would have made me even more anti-social and self aware in social situations.


I am not saying that this is the case with him, but he says he is fine so I would just let it be. A volunteering environment might be better for him because he can choose an interest he has (animals, medical, etc).


Just my .02.

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You all are so awesome! :grouphug:


Thanks so much for the point of view and ideas. I hadn't even considered that he might feel terror/fear/nightmare. I just assumed some discomfort, but those words really put it into perspective.


My was decision based on a whim because his only hs friend wont have much time to get together for awhile. I just worry about him, but he says he really is fine and actually prefers to be alone most the time.


Volunteering - Thanks Stephanie! What an awesome idea and social opportunity he'd probably enjoy.


So yeah!

I'm not going to make him go. This makes me feel so much better :)

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