Embarrassing Homeschool Field Trip

[lauriep]

Oy...we've had that happen before - to the point where we had to make those who sign up pay a $5 deposit, and they'll get their 5 bucks back if they show. If they don't, it goes to the person who organized the trip and had to endure the embarrassment of being in charge of a bunch of no-shows.

 

Argh...

 

:iagree: Our local homeschool support group has the same policy.

[Daisy]

In my whole life, I only went on 3 field trips. My parents didn't provide me with "day trips;" vacations were always visits to relatives.

 

If a school district can afford field tirps, great; but I'd feel much better about it if I were sure that the children were being taught to read and write well--to be literate--and could name all 50 states and all the continents and could balance their checkbooks when they came to be adults.

 

But homeschoolers, and you specifically Ellie, have always agreed that a large part of how one learns the above things is through hands-on learning. That is why many of us homeschool.

 

I can't imagine what my children would learn if we never left our house, never left the kitchen table, and never left the boring textbooks. I find that a tragic education regardless of whether the child learns to read or not.

 

But I'm not going to debate whether or not public school children are deserving of a rich educational environment or not. I think it is a no-brainer. I also think there is plenty of money for it if they'd stop wasting money on junk.

[Wheres Toto]

I just joined my first homeschool fieldtrip group. I hope my experiences aren't going to be like this. I am totally crazy about being on time. I HATE being late and given that I have little kids, I leave plenty of time and end up cooling my heels most places because I get there too early. I would hate to also have to wait an additional 1/2 hour for everyone who is late.

 

I think I'm going to wait a good long time to get a feel for the group before I start volunteering to organize anything. :tongue_smilie:

[Impish]

This is exactly why I don't sign up for anything unless its evenings/wknds that Wolf can take the kids. I don't even sign up for Mom's night outs. I simply cannot know in advance what I'm going to be feeling like any given day/hour. I can be fine in the am, wanting to die two hours later.

 

It sucks, but I don't want to commit to ANYTHING b/c my pain levels are so completely unpredictable.

 

Heck, SpecialMama will invite me out for coffee in the afternoon, and even then I tell her to call me before she leaves in the evening b/c I just don't know.

[waa510]

Okay, let me just start out by saying we wound up having a lot of fun.

 

BUT man, was I embarrassed.

 

First off, we had signed up for two different programs. One for the K-2 crowd and one for the 3rd and up crowd. That means double the number of naturalists were at the preserve ready to take us on a tour. The preserve is closed during the week so they made the trip just for us.

 

FOUR families showed up.

 

A total of eight kids.

 

Thankfully, I was not in charge of this field trip, but I felt badly anyway.

 

Everyone just flaked without even letting us know.

 

They didn't show up. We stood around for an hour waiting on them.

 

That drives me crazy. What is wrong with these people? I was embarrassed to call myself a homeschooler at that moment.

 

Now let's add to that the fact that my 11yo daughter is so shy she barely says a word, and 8yo son had his pants on backwards (He fixed them in the bathroom) and flaps his hands (hugs his elbows to his body and flaps his hands like a bird) when he is excited and heck, we made the perfect picture.

 

SIGH. :glare:

 

I need a Mikes (never had one but it seems appropriate).

 

 

I'm so sorry that happened to you, it is SO frustrating and embarassing. It just really gives hsers a bad name. I've thankfully only organized one trip so far (to our local fire station!) and all who signed up came, and it was free too! But I'm def. taking notes on what to do in the future. I really prefer to have it just us at times though, since my kids like to linger at some exhibits, or move on..or catch a show, etc. I like doing our own thing. Guess I'm just a loner at heart :).

 

On another note, my DD is a flapper in the same way your kiddo is. Seems to be a popular expression of excitement for kids in this thread! :lol:

[LizzyBee]

Our group had to send out a reminder that even if a field trip is free, you can't just not show up. You have to let the coordinator know ahead of time unless you have an unforeseen emergency. Anyone who misses 3 field trips without notifying the coordinator will be banned from field trips for the rest of the year. That's probably a little too generous. I like the idea of a refundable deposit.

[Dobela]

And, once, a local water park offered a free day to homeschoolers.... I have never seen so many kids without their hair brushed wearing mismatched clothes in one place in my life. Since then, I have tried to reform myself and brush my daughter's hair at least once every forty eight hours. :D

 

A couple of weeks ago our local science museum offered a day just for homeschoolers. They opened on a day they were usually closed, just for homeschoolers. The price was incredibly reduced to nearly free, the general public was not invited, there were special classes and activities available, cheap food if you wanted it... The entire state was invited. 10 families showed up. The director said that last year, even with RSVPs for many more, only 1 family showed up. :001_huh: I just can't believe that the museum keeps reaching out to homeschool families after this. :confused: Of the families that were there, all but 2 (mine and another) expected their children to listen and participate in what was being presented. The other kids were disruptive, crossing ropes into restricted areas, and more.

 

When we were leaving my son, on his own, went to the education director and told her thank you for a wonderful, fun day. She then came to me and said that in the last 5 years my child was the only homeschooler to tell them thanks for scheduling that day.

[VBoulden]

Of the families that were there, all but 2 (mine and another) expected their children to listen and participate in what was being presented. The other kids were disruptive, crossing ropes into restricted areas, and more.

 

When we were leaving my son, on his own, went to the education director and told her thank you for a wonderful, fun day. She then came to me and said that in the last 5 years my child was the only homeschooler to tell them thanks for scheduling that day.

 

I've been there! Let me share another horror story that made me nuts (in a bad way) about my fellow homeschoolers...

 

At a home school day at a local museum, the kids were climbing trees outside the museum building and one boy was using his pocket knife on the trees.

 

Now, many of the trees were saplings and the kids were sitting on the branches, and bending the branches nearly to the ground, and nearly breaking them off. The kids were acting totally wild! ...And all this was within sight of their proud parents who were engaged in an intelligent conversation about their favored curricula. :001_huh:

 

I mean, I get it... We home schoolers are all so "free-spirited" that we let our kids climb trees and our kids are so uninhibited that they can just go up to a tree and climb it and we let our six year olds carry knives, so they can grow up to be empowered... blah, blah. I can see the idealistic beauty in what lies behind all that behavior.

 

But, we should do our kids a HUGE favor and teach them to operate within the confines of polite society. We need to teach them to be creative, yes... but we also need to teach them some restraint so they will succeed.

[cara]

Daisy, I feel your pain!

 

I am having to cancel two field trips for our group because I can't get anyone to commit to going. One required a 75% attendance rate and a $70 deposit. The other I'm embarrassed to show up with just my kids when I told them at least 10-20 people.

 

I have no clue how to get people to commit to field trips, it's what they tell us they want , but then they don't want to go when we plan things. I'm almost completely over it and may stop planning field trips.

[Miss Sherry]

I think this type of thing is why it's a good idea for the organizer to collect money before the day of the event and no refunds to those who cancel or don't show up, unless a refund does not effect the overall cost for everyone and giving refunds is not a big hassle for the organizer. There are times when refunds won' work, such as when a group get's a discount because x number of tickets have been purchased.

 

 

We have that flaking issue in our homeschool groups big time! The only way people actually show up is when money has been paid upfront!

 

Once a woman organized an event where we had to pay when we got there and had to have a certain number of people show up......she had to pay the difference! It was awful. I wasn't even signed up for that one, but heard about it.

 

I try NOT to say I am coming if I am not sure.

 

So sorry.

 

Dawn

[Miss Sherry]

I've been there! Let me share another horror story that made me nuts (in a bad way) about my fellow homeschoolers...

 

At a home school day at a local museum, the kids were climbing trees outside the museum building and one boy was using his pocket knife on the trees.

 

Now, many of the trees were saplings and the kids were sitting on the branches, and bending the branches nearly to the ground, and nearly breaking them off. The kids were acting totally wild! ...And all this was within sight of their proud parents who were engaged in an intelligent conversation about their favored curricula. :001_huh:

 

I mean, I get it... We home schoolers are all so "free-spirited" that we let our kids climb trees and our kids are so uninhibited that they can just go up to a tree and climb it and we let our six year olds carry knives, so they can grow up to be empowered... blah, blah. I can see the idealistic beauty in what lies behind all that behavior.

 

But, we should do our kids a HUGE favor and teach them to operate within the confines of polite society. We need to teach them to be creative, yes... but we also need to teach them some restraint so they will succeed.

This is why some homeschool support groups have written out guidelines of expected behavior.

[NanceXToo]

See, if you hoped for a bigger turn-out and got a smaller one, and it wasn't required by the field trip to have the larger number, well, then it doesn't matter if the turn-out is small, does it? The ones who did come enjoyed it, yes?

 

Oh, definitely. But it's embarrassing to ask someone to do something for your group and you tell them you're expecting say 15 or 20 kids, and then 8 show up and you feel awkward, like you're wasting that person's time. And sometimes there IS a minimum number and we end up having fewer people show up. Often they will work with us anyway but it's still embarrassing when it happens!

 

And if you have to cancel a field trip because not enough signed up, you'll only have to do that once or twice before everyone learns that you mean what you say. If there is no improvement, then don't plan any field trips that require a minimum number of people.

 

True, but then those of us who DID want to do it are disappointed by not being able to!

[VBoulden]

This is why some homeschool support groups have written out guidelines of expected behavior.

 

That sounds like a good idea. Does anyone have a .pdf of your home school group's guidelines that you could post as an example. I'd like to see one... What kind of things do the guidelines say?

[laughing lioness]

Wish we lived closer. I'd love to go on a field trip with you and your flappers! (mine flap, whir, bang, etc too).

[Garga]

This thread reminds me of how I've heard a lot of homeschoolers say, "Well, we're on homeschool time! That means we're late a lot!"

 

That doesn't make any sense. If you homeschool, doesn't that mean that you have flexibility to get to places whenever you want to?

 

I hate the "homeschool time" comments. I want to say, "Yo! Not all of us stand up people and then laugh it off!"

 

It's a pet peeve of mine.

[Ellie]

Oh, definitely. But it's embarrassing to ask someone to do something for your group and you tell them you're expecting say 15 or 20 kids, and then 8 show up and you feel awkward, like you're wasting that person's time. And sometimes there IS a minimum number and we end up having fewer people show up. Often they will work with us anyway but it's still embarrassing when it happens!

That's why charging for field trips, requiring a minimum number of participants, and having a registration deadline works so well. You find out from the field trip site what's the best group size and by when you'd need to cancel if you don't get enough sign-ups. If you don't get the minimum number by the deadline, you cancel (you need to find out the maximum group size, too, and limit registrations to that number). And this usually only happens once. Your people realize You Mean Business.

 

True, but then those of us who DID want to do it are disappointed by not being able to!

I know. Nevertheless, that kind of behavior is just not ok, and that's why you make rules and stick to them. I'd rather be disappointed once or twice than put myself and everyone else through the ordeal of phone calls, nagging, last-minute changes, and all that stuff.

[Miss Sherry]

That sounds like a good idea. Does anyone have a .pdf of your home school group's guidelines that you could post as an example. I'd like to see one... What kind of things do the guidelines say?

Here's one with a standard of behavior you can take a look at. Many years ago I was involved with this support group when my oldest children were younger. But we have since moved to another area.

The Standard of Behavior is at the Bottom of the Page.

http://www.nephs.org/default.asp

 

You may glean a few ideas from this one and maybe do a search on line for a few more until you can come up with what suits your group best.

I don't remember if the standard of behavior is still worded the same as it was when I was part of the group years ago. I do know that if children were misbehaving at an event, such as what you described, it would have been addressed by someone in the group if the parents did not correct the problem.

 

What is on that page under Standard of Behavior does not address field trips specifically.

I do not remember exactly how field trips were handled with that group, as far as what all of the rules were. Different groups I have been in have handled them different ways, and some made changes during the time I was there due to trial and error.

One way to do it is to have sign up sheets at regularly scheduled Homeschool meetings and for money to be collected ahead of time by the person in charge of that field trip. I was in one group that would put out several sign up sheets for various field trips at the meetings. If there were fliers about that field trip they would be out at the sign up table.

Edited October 6, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[Heather in AL]

No flames. Am I right to assume your parents were able to provide you with a rich learning environment that included vacations and day trips?

 

 

Many, if not most, of my husband's first graders have never seen a real animal other than a mongrel dog. They don't own a single book. They don't recognize corn that isn't in a can. Their real life experiences are extremely limited.

 

But you are right. The districts save tons of money by not providing field trips.

 

Though that is a bit of a rabbit trail. LOL. :D

 

Actually, no to the day trips and vacations. ;) While we did own books, the library in town was something I only went to as a high schooler to research papers (my Elem school only let us go in once a year, and never to check out books.... my middle school we could check out books, but on our own time~~which we never had any of, so that was odd), and I never visited a zoo or aquarium until I was 26. Corn, I knew about because of school texts, but never saw it IRL until I tried to grow my own. I suspect what my biggest advantage was over your dh's students was that my parents instilled a desire to investigate~~ to seek out what I had questions about.

 

The field trips I think schools could (and should) do without are *not* the ones to the zoos, botanical gardens, and aquariums (kids *should* visit those places!), but the endless trips to McDonald's, Chik-Fil-A, and Dominos. Every year our public schools go to these places. I think of the money spent on bus drivers, gas, etc, and think that was such a wasted day. My ds did learn a lot by going on a field trip to the state capitol... *those* trips are great. I'm afraid I came across that I thought all trips were 'fluff'. It's trips like those the OP and others mention where homeschoolers set things up, and don't show up that get me angry. I agree with your dh there, in that we (the hsers who are no-shows) don't know how good we have it..... especially when ps teachers like him are trying in vain to get trips for their kids similar to the ones those hsers are blowing off!!

 

But homeschoolers, and you specifically Ellie, have always agreed that a large part of how one learns the above things is through hands-on learning. That is why many of us homeschool.

 

*snip*

 

But I'm not going to debate whether or not public school children are deserving of a rich educational environment or not. I think it is a no-brainer. I also think there is plenty of money for it if they'd stop wasting money on junk.

 

:iagree: All kids deserve a rich educational environment, and I also agree that there is an awful lot of money wasted on junk.

 

I'll stop on this topic now, as I'm hijacking the OP's post. ;)

 

This thread reminds me of how I've heard a lot of homeschoolers say, "Well, we're on homeschool time! That means we're late a lot!"

 

That doesn't make any sense. If you homeschool, doesn't that mean that you have flexibility to get to places whenever you want to?

 

I hate the "homeschool time" comments. I want to say, "Yo! Not all of us stand up people and then laugh it off!"

 

It's a pet peeve of mine.

 

:iagree::iagree: Even after four years of hsing, I am appalled at the number of hsers who are late to things. EVERYTHING! I have kids to get out the door, too, but I make it a point to be 10minutes early if I can. If I'm "on time", for me, that's late. I get so stressed if I think someone is having to wait on me. I have stopped asking certain people to attend things(or I won't attend if I know they are going and will give a bad impression of the group when they are late) because of this.

[radiobrain]

I hate late people too.

 

Another pet peeve of mine (although the kids climbing in the trees with pocket knives and ZERO supervision, even though mom/dad is right there is one of my biggies) is when I hear a HSer actually say out loud something like, "We're homeschoolers, our kids don't know how to stand in line!". HAHAHA. Thanks. Thanks for making all of us look like dumb asses because YOUR kid doesn't know how to stand in line or raise their hand. Also, the good ol' "We're homeschoolers, we're always late!" HAHAHA. Thanks. You're an inconsiderate jerk.

 

Love the feral children. Love that family fashion/philosophy statement. It really helps me teach my kids that they are not supposed to be spazzes in public, but for your kids, it is perfectly fine.

 

Wow... I think I need to grab a mike's, as a rant just flew out of my butt! I think I will sit back with a cocktail and watch my favorite train wreck...America's Next Top Model.

 

:seeya::cheers2:

 

P.S. Now that I read this again, it is not really a rant, but it felt like one here in my head and on my keyboard! I don't think it came across as frothy as it seemed to me. :)

[Kate CA]

It isn't just homeschoolers. My friend does farm tours for public schools and they are flakes in the same way. The parents are the worst offenders AND they don't want to pay.

 

People can be rude and cheap the world over. When I hear her stories it just encourages me to be a person of my word and not to expect a free ride.

[Daisy]

 

The field trips I think schools could (and should) do without are *not* the ones to the zoos, botanical gardens, and aquariums (kids *should* visit those places!), but the endless trips to McDonald's, Chik-Fil-A, and Dominos. Every year our public schools go to these places. I think of the money spent on bus drivers, gas, etc, and think that was such a wasted day.

 

 

Wow, I completely agree with you. I can't imagine why any school would go on a field trip to a fast food restaurant. That is so far out of my frame of reference. That has definitely never been allowed in my local school district. Sounds like the fast food restaurant should be paying for the free advertising. UUGH.

Edited October 7, 2010 by Daisy

[Dobela]

Wow, I completely agree with you. I can't imagine why any school would go on a field trip to a fast food restaurant for a field trip. That is so far out of my frame of reference. That has definitely never been allowed in my local school district. Sounds like the fast food restaurant should be paying for the free advertising. UUGH.

About 15 years ago I was teaching middle school special ed. We actually took a field trip to Red Lobster and I think it was one of the best field trips I ever took my students on. The company had a series of videos on commercial fishing, fish farming, how they get the products to the restaurants, and more. The kids also got a tour of the restaurant including the kitchen. They helped set up the dining areas for the day. They learned what all was really involved in a daily restaurant business. Then we got to eat for a much reduced price - and it all took over 4 hours.

 

It was a great field trip to a restaurant. However, I have never heard of another restaurant offering such for a field trip.

[Miss Sherry]

About 15 years ago I was teaching middle school special ed. We actually took a field trip to Red Lobster and I think it was one of the best field trips I ever took my students on. The company had a series of videos on commercial fishing, fish farming, how they get the products to the restaurants, and more. The kids also got a tour of the restaurant including the kitchen. They helped set up the dining areas for the day. They learned what all was really involved in a daily restaurant business. Then we got to eat for a much reduced price - and it all took over 4 hours.

 

It was a great field trip to a restaurant. However, I have never heard of another restaurant offering such for a field trip.

That one sounds good.

[QueenCat]

It was a great field trip to a restaurant. However, I have never heard of another restaurant offering such for a field trip.

 

Outback Steakhouse does great field trips, at least here. They took our group on a tour of all of the Australia paraphernalia. Then we went on an in-depth tour of the kitchen. The tour was about an hour. After the tour, they fed the kids chicken fingers and fries ($4-5 person, I don't remember for sure), and the adults got Bloomin' Onions to share (free). This was at lunch time, when they are closed. Around here, they are not open for lunch during the week. Not sure if that is a local or national policy.

[Miss Sherry]

Wow, I completely agree with you. I can't imagine why any school would go on a field trip to a fast food restaurant. That is so far out of my frame of reference. That has definitely never been allowed in my local school district. Sounds like the fast food restaurant should be paying for the free advertising. UUGH.

Maybe that would be something that a school district would do if they have a lot of students that rarely, if ever, have an opportunity to visit a place like that. There are some very poor places in our country. I think it would be fun and interesting for children who hadn't been to a fast food restaurant before. But I think it would be a total waste to spend the school districts money if most of the children already are already visiting fast food restaurants with their families.

[Daisy]

Maybe that would be something that a school district would do if they have a lot of students that rarely, if ever, have an opportunity to visit a place like that. There are some very poor places in our country. I think it would be fun and interesting for children who hadn't been to a fast food restaurant before. But I think it would be a total waste to spend the school districts money if most of the children already are already visiting fast food restaurants with their families.

 

I only wish the poor kids in my husband's classroom had never been to a fast food restaurant. Far better for them never to have the experience in my opinion. But then I'm one of those health food crazies. :lol:

[girligirlmom]

That stinks! I'm so sorry for how they acted.

 

I think there is a huge difference when there is a cost involved.

 

I have heard of people charging $2 per person just as a commitment fee for a free event or trip. The organizer doesn't keep the money, but gives it to the homeschool group for the general fund.

Edited October 7, 2010 by girligirlmom

[Miss Sherry]

I only wish the poor kids in my husband's classroom had never been to a fast food restaurant. Far better for them never to have the experience in my opinion. But then I'm one of those health food crazies. :lol:

I see your point. I was thinking from the angle of just what it's like if they had never been to one and how it is run. But a different type of restaurant may be a better choice.

[lailasmum]

The whole lateness and no show mentality of so many home ed families has pretty much killed our local support group. We used to hire a hall once a fortnight and split the cost between us. It got to the point about this time last year where we had about 10-15 families saying they were going to come and probably only about 4 families turned up time and time again. We can't afford that hall any more. People always say they want to have a group to go to but don't actually feel like they have to put any effort in.

 

I've also done a lot of field trip organising where people either turn up 2 hrs late or not at all and I just end up feeling really embarrassed. I do now know who the reliable people are and who will inevitably not turn up. These days the reliable group just tend to communicate amongst our selves and plan stuff together rather than planning open trips.

 

There are some families who just seem to float through life with no respect for the people who organise the things they don't turn up to.

[mcconnellboys]

This has happened to me so many times over the years (particularly with "free" field trips that folks don't have to pay for, even though the company has to bring in extra people, make up handouts, etc. so it costs *them* money) that I've almost stopped scheduling field trips....

 

YES, it's MEGA embarrassing, particularly when you're the one who is in charge of it!!!! I'm glad someone else has noticed - most folks just don't seem to get it (or don't care)....