Siblings close in age?

[mjpeter]

I was excited to find this board since I'm a newer homeschooling mom, and can relate to a lot of what I've found here.

 

My oldest and youngest sons are very bright children. They had A's in school and have always learned quickly.

 

My middle son (10) is gifted. (I've always felt silly saying that to other parents, but I guess I can say it here. :) While he got A's in academic work in school, I'm sure a lot of you can related to some of the issues we dealt with in school. (Boredom, questioning teachers, frustration with materials......) He's my most difficult...not even close. :tongue_smilie:

 

Now that we're home, it's been wonderful since I can bend his curriculum to where he is comfortable. The problem is with his older brother...2 years older.

 

They are now doing the same levels in Latin, science, math, history and writing. The only subjects they do separate are grammar, logic and spelling. I do so many subjects with them together since they are at the same level, and it's so much easier for me. To tell you the truth, I could even move DS (10) higher in Latin and Science. My oldest DS is showing some frustration at not picking up on things as quickly as his younger brother. This mainly comes out in science. He makes comments like, "Did you memorize the whole book or something?"

 

Now DS (12) is still a straight A student, and tries very hard. It's difficult for him since DS (10) really doesn't put in the effort, and things come easily for him, plus he's much more disorganized, etc.

 

Any ideas on how to approach this issue? I obviously want to do right by both boys. It's so much easier with my youngest since he's a few years off the pace. :001_smile:

[Bird Girl]

Welcome!

 

I have a bigger age split than you do, so I haven't run into this yet. However, I have seen the suggestion to move the faster-moving child into a different curriculum in order to remove some of the race aspect of the situation. I know that many people here use a computer-based curriculum called Education Program for Gifted Youth, for math and some other subjects, so that might be something to investigate.

 

I also wouldn't hesitate to discuss your son's giftedness in a frank way. In our household, we usually phrase it in terms of some things being hard for some people and easier for others. My DD, who's academic gifts have been more obvious so far, often wishes that emotional control and a cheerful attitude were easier for her, as they are for her brother, so it's far from a pointless exercise.

[shannatheshedevil]

I agree that you may want to consider using different curriculum for the two of them.

[HeidiD]

Any ideas on how to approach this issue? I obviously want to do right by both boys. It's so much easier with my youngest since he's a few years off the pace. :001_smile:

 

 

I've struggled with this issue as well. My kids are also close in age (with 5 boys in the mix). Some LD's to deal with, also. It seems like boys with even the most sanguine temperaments are wired to be competitive, territorial, etc. I agree with the other posters about using different programs to minimize the rivalry (and they also do lots of independent learning). With homeschooling, our kids are reduced to a very small group for comparison - mainly their siblings. So, they can develop a somewhat warped view of their own abilities, particularly if certain siblings are extremely gifted. Using different programs helps to minimize that aspect from both directions (one feeling deficient while the other might feel superior). And I try to avoid investing academics with too much importance in the scheme of things. The LD's, giftedness etc. are just something we try to take in stride. :)

[galtgrl]

We've dealt with this, too. My 2 oldest are about 18 months apart, and the younger is currently in the same "grade" as the elder. Both very bright kids, but the younger operates at a different level, academically.

 

We made it clear that as sisters, they are NOT in competition with eachother. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and it is not acceptable for any of us to make another family member feel badly about doing well...at anything! It is also not ok to act pridefully and make another family member feel badly about not being able to do something as well as you...

 

We really stressed the idea that they need to support eachother, not tear eachother down. It was an opportunity to address some character issues in both of them (selfishness, pride, etc.)

 

Now, a few years later, they will still pick at eachother occasionally, but the drama over the younger doing as well or better than the older has mostly gone away. It helps that each of them have some obvious gifts that the other does not have.

 

FWIW, I would have lost my mind if I had to handle completely separate curriculums for them. I told them both the truth, that the fact that they'd both be doing the same math was PARTLY a practical decision to help me. If I had only the 2 of them, maybe I could've handled separate curric., but with 4....I don't think so.:tongue_smilie:

 

I've kind of rambled my way through this, but hope it helps! Things may also go more smoothly once they've been away from the ps environment for a while. :001_smile:

[danivdp]

I'm running into this with my 8yo and 6yo....they are both using 2nd grade materials, although it is my 1st year HSing the 6yo and my 3rd year HSing the 8yo.

 

I've been giving the 8yo extra attention....I think he needs it anyway, he has low self esteem, but it also helps him to "keep up" with his younger brother.

 

In WRTR, it says that children that have a harder time with the lesson in the classroom should be given advance work...so that they can understand/participate in the lesson with the other children. I have adapted that to my 2-student classroom, LOL.

 

I won't use different curriculum....unless one or the other is obviously struggling with the curriculum and not the subject in general.

[Miss Marple]

My boys are 16 months apart. DS#4 is very competitive and DS#3 is not. That caused problems because #4 could do anything #3 could do. They are both high achievers, but the added competitive component of #4's personality makes things a bit more tricky. I had to use two different programs for each boy.

 

Now that they are in their teens and testosterone is doing its work, DS#4 is finding it more difficult to learn/retain (it's normal - I'm finally realizing that on boy #4!). And DS#3 is finding his groove and doing very well. And we can now do some programs together.

[....]

My 2 oldest kids are 13 months apart - yep. :glare: He (the younger one) is virtually overtaking her in math. I combine almost all their classes - except language arts/spelling, because she leaves him in the dust in that arena. :tongue_smilie: I have no advice, other than I've actually thought about combining them into the same pretend-grade level for the greater good of our homeschool. I'm guessing at some point (probably late middle school), the younger will be almost right on track with the older kid.

 

Weird, eh? I've actually thought about combining them for OM4 this winter and just working with him "on the side" with his spelling/LA. It would free up time for me to work with the 5 yro and clean up all the mayhem from the 3 yro.

 

Good luck! :D

[radiobrain]

My boys are 18 months apart, and I have them working at almost everything on the same level.

 

Sometimes, I will split them up, so that they don't discourage each other (varies, depending on the subject).

 

Both are gifted with different strengths, and with VERY different attitudes towards "learning".

[SailorMom]

My sons are 14 months apart. Before the oldest went back to PS this year - they did all subjects together except math, and they read different books for book reports.

My older DS is most likely gifted (although we've never had him tested), my younger DS is LD (dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia).

However - I've always told them that we all have our challenges and we all have our strengths. Older DS might catch on to math and science faster, but younger DS is better at language arts and history.

Anyway - stress the fact that no one can be great at everything, some people are horrible at all school subjects but then become pilots (like my DH). I was amazing in school and am a SAHM.

I think it is healthy to teach them to aknowledge their weaknesses - not so that they will fail, but so that they see where they have to work harder. Once they were used to that idea, and that they were very different people with very different abilities, we never had any problems using the same curriculum.

[Ann.without.an.e]

I haven't read all the replies.

 

My middle two are like this. Ds is smart, but his younger dd is gifted. She could be in a year ahead of him in some subjects, but I haven't chosen to do this. I can't handle two different curriculums, so I am honest with them. This isn't a competition...there are no winners or losers, everyone just works to the best of their ability. Not everyone has the same strengths and that is okay.