ODD (?) and teaching

[MicheleB]

I am suspecting that my 11yo son has ODD. He is already dx with OCD and is on Celexa. Also, bipolar disorder runs in our family as well.

 

He is so argumentative that it is almost impossible to tell him anything. ANYTHING. It's almost one of those things where I could say "The grass is green" and he would argue with that!

 

I am currently cyberschooling him and it is working well for us thus far. The school is very accomodating (he has a visual-perceptual processing disorder, trouble handwriting and more...). He is slated for testing with the school, though I am not sure if ODD is something they look for or if that is just addressed on my parent questionnaire.

 

My question is: HOW do you school with this?? I find myself giving in so often! I don't have the energy to argue all day and I think part of my problem is that I need to learn ways to head off the arguments and know when to not engage.

 

This is more of a problem with cyberschool because he HAS to pay attention to what I'm teaching, but he likes to interrupt. A lot. I think part of that is his OCD and part of it is he has trouble paying attention (I'm very flexible with *how* I allow him to school... for example, he can write or draw while listening, etc). But part of it is, he just doesn't want to be told what to do.

 

Any suggestions? Does this even sound like ODD?

 

ETA: Otherwise, he can be very sweet and loving, likes to hug and cuddle, loves to talk about things, etc.

[Maverick_Mom]

(((Michele))), I suspect that my son may have ODD. (He also has Asperger's, ADHD, and a seizure disorder.) He is SO adamantly opposed to school that it is very difficult, some days, to teach him. He was in ps for a year, and it was a horrible experience. He hated his teachers, and I suspect they felt the same way about him. So I tell him that a) school is not optional -- it's the law, and b) it's either me as the teacher or those other people as the teachers -- and he knows which he prefers.

 

I don't have any words of wisdom -- some days are good, most days are tolerable, and a few days reduce me to tears. Like your ds, mine can be the sweetest, most engaging child on the planet. But it's hard to remember that when we're locking horns over schoolwork.

 

I'll share a few things that have seemed to make a difference:

1. Those subjects that ds particularly hates? I've worked hard to find materials that make the work as quick and painless as possible.

 

2. I give him frequent breaks.

 

3. I also try to give him a certain amount of structure so that he knows exactly what to expect on a given day. He probably won't *like* it, but at least he knows what to expect.

 

4. As much as possible, I try to tie school in with his interests.

 

There's probably nothing here you haven't heard before. But more than anything, I just wanted you to know that there's at least one person here who understands.

[Geo]

I seriously thought my son had ODD...he was very much like your son, only younger. Does your son have tantrums or meltdowns? Mine did. It ended up being anxiety (adhd w/anxiety). Zoloft made a HUGE difference, all the difference in the world. Of course this isn't a diagnosis for your son. I'd like to mention that it didn't require a special Dr. or expensive evaluation, just a visit to a good pediatrician who listened well.

 

Geo

[MicheleB]

Thank you, Maverick Mom and Geo.

 

I suspect that structure is something that he really needs, but is so difficult for *me* to give him. He does have major meltdowns over things, mainly that he expects something to be a certain way and it isn't. If I could have something structured each day and always the same, it could very well be helpful to him.

 

Before he started celexa, he had pretty severe scrupolosity OCD. He worried constantly that he had done something wrong and "confessed" every little thing, even as little as accidentally breaking a pencil or something similar.

 

The celexa really helped that, however, it almost seemed to throw him over the edge the other way in that now, he doesn't seem to care.

 

I had wondered about possible bipolar because I know that with a history of bipolar, if one of my children takes an SSRI and has adverse reactions to it, it could indicate bipolar. My 16yo dd is bipolar and my 10yo ds did a trial on celexa, but became so much worse and more paranoid on it, that the psych. believes he is probably bipolar as well. :confused:

 

I think I read somewhere that OCD, ODD and bipolar can all overlap.

 

I tried explaining to his doctor (his gp- she communicated with the only psych we have here in town who is VERY hard to get into, so he's willing to consult with her) that ds argues a LOT more than he did before celexa (at least I think I am remembering this realistically... he was such an easy child for so many years), and his gp tried to throw it off on impending adolescence.

 

That adds more confusion to the mix for me, but it seems way above and beyond typical adolescence argumentativeness and spreading of wings, KWIM?

 

The thing I hate about this is, it seems a lot of these issues are parent-reported and being somewhat OCDish myself, it's an area I struggle with and am worried that I don't see it for what it is.

 

He doesn't argue with random adults. For example, in Sunday School or Little League or soccer, he would never dream of arguing with his coaches. However, he does argue with my sister and my mother. That is not par for the course with my other children.

 

He doesn't argue nearly as much with his father, which is interesting to me as well and makes me think some of it has to be how I relate things to him. Though I will say that he feels comfortable telling me most anything, while he doesn't feel comfortable telling his father much.

 

Well, how's that for muddying the waters? :)

 

I think I will do at least one very structured thing each day with him and see how that goes for him. Then maybe we can add a few more if that works well.