Retired Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 (edited) FOLLOW UP REPLY AND MORE INFORMATION ON PAGE 7 I love Jesus and am a born again Christian and also home school but honestly am so tired of judgmental, isolationist, legalistic "Christian" that continue to hurt my son. I am so hurt for him and so tired of all of them. He is totally turning his back on Christianity because of these families. He is a loving, caring, gentle, poetic musical type kids. He loves people but honestly he can't keep "home school" friends because their parent don't approve of him. These aren't little kids but junior and senior kids that can't befriend a fellow 17 yo who is allowed to choose his own music, own hair, and oh gasp he got his tongue pierced. They consider him "evil" a bad influence or whatever. My son likes the skinny jeans and clean t shirts (no evil) advertise on him. He wears his hair with long bangs. He plays guitar and likes heavy mental but he doesn't play music with bad lyrics or messages. He actually has made friends with secular home school kids/family but the families live over a hour from us. I think the irony for all the Christan community is my kids feels more welcome and loved by a group of people that don't believe in Jesus and his message. Then I see what we have put with and now I know why the Christan Message is consider hypocrisy by the world :rant: Edited October 5, 2010 by Cafelattee follow up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 He'd get along fine in our Christian homeschool group, he sounds like all of my dd's friends (except for maybe the piercing, but I don't think it would be a deal-breaker?). I'm sorry, I know how you feel, we experience this same thing in other circles. :grouphug: Maybe keep looking for other groups? There are a ton of different homeschool groups here and they all have their own flavor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Sorry that that is happening to you. I think it is as much a regional thing as anything. He would fit in fine here, but we're in a university area, so there is more openess, including among Christians, than in smaller town/rural areas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 I'm so sorry that you and your son are being hurt like this. I have often felt like I fit in more with secular people as well. I don't know about our local homeschool group because we aren't members, but I know he would fit right in at our church. It is the most accepting and non-judgmental church I have ever had the privilege of being a member of. It's a very "come as you are" church. It's all about the love of Jesus, exactly as it's supposed to be. And I believe there is nothing more beautiful than a group of teenagers worshipping Jesus; piercings, tattoos, skinny jeans, long hair and all. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 :grouphug: I am so sorry for what you're feeling. I understand exactly what you're experiencing because I have been there and still am, to a large extent. It hurts. I've been hurt, and I have a dd who was terribly hurt by this kind of behavior. Because they disapproved of my dd, it was extended to my other children. I think, regarding faith, my family would all be better off if we had never become involved with this type of Christian homeschooler. Saying a prayer for you and your son. Oh, and I'd be happy to have him be a friend to my girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 The way we dress, how we decorate our bodies and the music we listen to are all advertisements for who we are. When mixed messages are sent, usually mixed results are received. From what you have said, your son is a believer and is not just coming to Christ. You are upset with other Christians because they will not look past his outside advertising. This will not only impact him among Christians, but will also impact him in all other areas of life including jobs. In general people believe you are who you say you are by your advertising, by your actions, and least by your words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UpNorth Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 Wow, that's awful. I've seen it happen. I've got friends who've been "shunned" not because of real sin, but because of cultural or personal preferences. Makes me ill. Make sure your son sees that God isn't like that. God loves him. God is true and men are liars. Take care and tell your son that I'm praying for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalphs Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 I've experienced this myself over the years and I have to say: Be the difference! Be what you want to see. Give the love you want to receive... to all people... I used to sit and fuss over this issue... how some women who wore dresses only and no make up would shun me in public... how some homeschooling "friends" weren't friends any longer when my children had to public school... how we were shunned by our older children's choices... etc. We will always see this because on this planet we will always have sin. Show the love. Be the one who stops judging. Give the benefit of the doubt. Accept those you would be inclined to turn from. Jesus did. And when you face the judgment, learn to let it go... for yourself. Forgive the others. One day it does circle around. Even the "holier than thou" folks learn life's lessons. In the meantime, seek God first. Fill your heart with Him. He is to be our focus. Then let him use you. Perhaps your family will be the one that shines the light to others who would not see it from anyone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 I've experienced this myself over the years and I have to say: Be the difference! Be what you want to see. Give the love you want to receive... to all people... I used to sit and fuss over this issue... how some women who wore dresses only and no make up would shun me in public... how some homeschooling "friends" weren't friends any longer when my children had to public school... how we were shunned by our older children's choices... etc. We will always see this because on this planet we will always have sin. Show the love. Be the one who stops judging. Give the benefit of the doubt. Accept those you would be inclined to turn from. Jesus did. And when you face the judgment, learn to let it go... for yourself. Forgive the others. One day it does circle around. Even the "holier than thou" folks learn life's lessons. In the meantime, seek God first. Fill your heart with Him. He is to be our focus. Then let him use you. Perhaps your family will be the one that shines the light to others who would not see it from anyone else. Beautiful post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 That just stinks. BTDT. Hugs to you and to your ds. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenhwyfar Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 You are upset with other Christians because they will not look past his outside advertising. well yeah. what kind of relationships can we ever have with people who don't take the time to look inside? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 3, 2010 Share Posted October 3, 2010 I am part of a couple of homeschool groups that he would fit into just fine. I feel quite blessed to be hsing where I am right now. There are so many different groups to find and be a part of, secular, Christian, and mixed. There are a lot of multi colored hair teens, artistic teens, and those who are really into music and playing music. My oldest is really into art. We will see what he is like at 17. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I'm so sorry that you and your son are being hurt like this. I have often felt like I fit in more with secular people as well. I don't know about our local homeschool group because we aren't members, but I know he would fit right in at our church. It is the most accepting and non-judgmental church I have ever had the privilege of being a member of. It's a very "come as you are" church. It's all about the love of Jesus, exactly as it's supposed to be. And I believe there is nothing more beautiful than a group of teenagers worshipping Jesus; piercings, tattoos, skinny jeans, long hair and all. :grouphug: :iagree: wish i could find a church like that here...sigh.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Sorry to hear that! If you were here, we'd friend you! I'm actually part of a secular group for simliar reasons. It pains me that so called Christians are so unloving and judgemental. What adds to the frustration is that it causes non-Christians to believe that the judging is what we are all about. I fight it all the time because people think I'm easily offended just because I'm a seminary wife...before they even know me or know how I feel about things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 The way we dress, how we decorate our bodies and the music we listen to are all advertisements for who we are. When mixed messages are sent, usually mixed results are received. What in the WORLD do long hair or skinny jeans have to do with being a Christian (or not)? I have known children of pastors and chaplains who were perfectly right with God who had colorful hair, multiple piercings and so forth. So what?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 well yeah. what kind of relationships can we ever have with people who don't take the time to look inside? Only God can look inside. The rest of us just call a tree by its fruit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 "I've experienced this myself over the years and I have to say: Be the difference! Be what you want to see. Give the love you want to receive... to all people... I used to sit and fuss over this issue... how some women who wore dresses only and no make up would shun me in public... how some homeschooling "friends" weren't friends any longer when my children had to public school... how we were shunned by our older children's choices... etc. We will always see this because on this planet we will always have sin. Show the love. Be the one who stops judging. Give the benefit of the doubt. Accept those you would be inclined to turn from. Jesus did. And when you face the judgment, learn to let it go... for yourself. Forgive the others. One day it does circle around. Even the "holier than thou" folks learn life's lessons. In the meantime, seek God first. Fill your heart with Him. He is to be our focus. Then let him use you. Perhaps your family will be the one that shines the light to others who would not see it from anyone else." Beautiful post! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Only God can look inside. The rest of us just call a tree by its fruit. Fruit=works, spirit, personality not packaging. For example, the OP is judging these Christians of her acquaintance by their works. Are they being salt and light? No, they are turning people away from Christ by causing unnecessary divisions based on extra-Biblical and non-salvation issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Fruit=works, spirit, personality not packaging. For example, the OP is judging these Christians of her acquaintance by their works. Are they being salt and light? No, they are turning people away from Christ by causing unnecessary divisions based on extra-Biblical and non-salvation issues. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I agree! BE the one who befriends, too! Sometimes those of us who beat to the rhythm of our own drums hold back and wait (and wait...) to see if someone WILL accept us and it can feel unsociable to them, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 The way we dress, how we decorate our bodies and the music we listen to are all advertisements for who we are. When mixed messages are sent, usually mixed results are received. From what you have said, your son is a believer and is not just coming to Christ. You are upset with other Christians because they will not look past his outside advertising. This will not only impact him among Christians, but will also impact him in all other areas of life including jobs. In general people believe you are who you say you are by your advertising, by your actions, and least by your words. Unfortunately this is true and to shun someone for because they dress in a certain way or listen to certain music is a violation of Love your neighbor as yourself. I may regret replying to this, I've had a dizzying day, and honestly I'm not picking on you Mama Geek. How can you tell by what someone is wearing or listening to know how close they are to Christ? We can NOT see the heart of other believers. We are told in Matthew NOT to judge. Should we all pierce our hands instead of our ears, noses, or tongues? Would that be more acceptable to Christ? Would that make us more Christ-like? Wearing skinny jeans, t-shirts, and listening to metal does not condemn us to hell. It's a style. I doubt dressing in an artsy is going to keep him out of the job market in the future, people adapt. But I believe part of being a teen is being able to express yourself through style, dress, and music. But those things don't dictate character or their level of intimacy with Christ. Our actions are advertising and for christians to shun another because of what style they might be seems judgmental and harsh to me. I am a christian too. My son is allowed to play xbox, he surfs the web, and his favorite shirt is one that say "I cry for joy on the last day of school". I have no doubt that other christians might not/have not befriended him because of his "advertising". He doesn't care, he know who HE is in Christ. He know we love him and accept him as he is. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." John 8:7 The greatest commandment is to 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV). I don't see anything about piercings, clothing, or music in those words, directly from the mouth of Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Fruit=works, spirit, personality not packaging. For example, the OP is judging these Christians of her acquaintance by their works. Are they being salt and light? No, they are turning people away from Christ by causing unnecessary divisions based on extra-Biblical and non-salvation issues. Do you know what the function of the tongue ring is? I am sure the teenager does. Do you think he ended up with secular friends instead of Christian friends solely by chance? In your post and in the OP many Christians were judged for protecting their children or themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I don't see anything about piercings, clothing, or music in those words, directly from the mouth of Jesus. Thou shalt not wear skinny jeans? Thou shalt not hath long hair? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenhwyfar Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 You are upset with other Christians because they will not look past his outside advertising. well yeah. what kind of relationships can we ever have with people who don't take the time to look inside? Only God can look inside. The rest of us just call a tree by its fruit. ?? do you not look past your friends' clothing, hair, etc to learn who they are? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 The way we dress, how we decorate our bodies and the music we listen to are all advertisements for who we are. When mixed messages are sent, usually mixed results are received. From what you have said, your son is a believer and is not just coming to Christ. You are upset with other Christians because they will not look past his outside advertising. This will not only impact him among Christians, but will also impact him in all other areas of life including jobs. In general people believe you are who you say you are by your advertising, by your actions, and least by your words. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't Christians have this weird idea about looking PAST the outside? Sure, we can only make assumptions about a person based on what they look like, but shouldn't we put those aside and, I dunno, actually get to know them as people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Do you know what the function of the tongue ring is? I am sure the teenager does. Do you think he ended up with secular friends instead of Christian friends solely by chance? There is form and there is function. Most people choose piercings for form, not function. And no, I don't think it's by accident, I think there are MANY Christians who are misguided in their beliefs about what a Christian teen looks like. In your post and in the OP many Christians were judged for protecting their children or themselves. Protecting them from what? Long bangs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenhwyfar Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Do you know what the function of the tongue ring is? I am sure the teenager does. did you really just make that implication about the OP's teenager? :blink: *head desk* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 did you really just make that implication about the OP's teenager? :blink: *head desk* I guess we could have just exclaimed "speak of the devil!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Thou shalt not wear skinny jeans? Thou shalt not hath long hair? I looked, didn't see it. I even own the Message bible *gasp* and it's not in there either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I have tried to help someone similar...but what the hey, I will bow out of this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 To the OP, Cafelatte: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: He's welcome anytime in my church's youthgroup & wouldn't feel like he stood out oddly at all. It's sort of a long trek though; is there another church/youth group around that focuses on the inside? The "decorations" and styles might be a phase that passes, or it might continue to evolve w/ new trends if he sticks with it. Either way, I think it's terribly important right now for him to see Jesus as He truly is in Scripture, the One who embraces him and longs for him to stay open to Him. Sit down and point out to him what Jesus had to say about all this - outside (appearance) vs. inside (heart attitude). Let him read this thread. I'm more concerned with him falling away from God than what he's wearing; the continued or halted building of his relationship w/ Christ will have deeper and longer lasting effects (eternity) than even the most permanent hair dye or tattoo. If he's willing, I'd take him out to the Food Bank or Homeless Shelter and do some volunteer time together just to show him what we are called to be to others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Do you know what the function of the tongue ring is? I am sure the teenager does. Do you think he ended up with secular friends instead of Christian friends solely by chance? In your post and in the OP many Christians were judged for protecting their children or themselves. Just come out and say it------ Protecting him from <gasp!> those who are not Christians. "Ended up with secular friends." Like it's shameful. :001_huh: Wow. astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Conformity is next to godliness? <---little g, because it has nothing to do with God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSNative Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I'm sorry you and he are experiencing this. Are you sure it is just because the parents don't like his look? I hear this complaint sometimes, but honestly, I've never met "those" Christians. I've met kids who dress in an unusual way and either because they are shy or something, behave in an aloof, off-putting manner. Or, if he happens to look pretty cool (and it sounds like he does) maybe people are shy about approaching him because they think they are not cool enough. What are you and your son doing to engage other kids and parents? Are you feeling hurt and blaming them when really they may just be unaware? I'm not trying to sound aggressive or excuse behavior. Christ gave us the example of looking past appearances and even behavior - the woman at the well leaps to mind. However, I also know that it's hard watching your kids struggle socially. We moved almost a year ago and my kids are having a hard time breaking into the social circles here. (I am, too.) It is so easy to try to blame others and assign horrible motives to people when really they are just busy and not thinking. (Spoken by someone who has been that really busy person who maybe didn't take the time to help a new person get acclimated.) Anyway, I hope this came across as a gentle post, not an accusatory one. I have no idea what is going on and you may very well have run across some real jerks. If so, I am really sorry. They are giving Christians a bad name. But maybe they are just wearing blinders and in their own world. As others have said, keep making the efforts and overtures. Fingers crossed things will turn out better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Do you know what the function of the tongue ring is? I am sure the teenager does. Do you think he ended up with secular friends instead of Christian friends solely by chance? In your post and in the OP many Christians were judged for protecting their children or themselves. Um....wow. I'm pretty sure that Christ would befriend this young man, go to his house and have dinner with him. I believe He pointed out this type of hypocrisy and judgemental behavior to the Pharisees as being wrong and something we are not to engage in as Christians. To the OP....I'm so sorry your son has to put up with such shallow and shameful behavior in others. That's wrong and it shouldn't happen. Best wishes to him for finding his own way along the path of faith with those who are not so harsh and un-Christlike. They are there, but it may take him some time to find those who are pure in heart and demonstrate the true love of Christ in their lives. Diane W. married for 22 years homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VBoulden Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I have experienced the same censure from other Christian homeschoolers because of what I wear (shorts and jeans) and what I don't wear all the time (skirts), because of what I listen to (praise music) and what I don't listen to all the time (hymns). I assume my daughter will have to deal with this when she is older, too, because we are her parents and she will probably not wear skirts all the time and they will know that we go to "that" church, etc. etc. For now, though, these parents are kind to her because she is still a child (only six) and their children are kind to her because they are still children, though the parents won't even look me in the eye. Without going into the theologies that influences their behavior and mine, I think these Christians are wrongly favoring the command to "be ye separate" over the command to do everything to "maintain unity and peace" in church of God. In some ways, I have more in common with non-Christian homeschoolers. They tend to treat people with more respect. I am sorry for your son. My advice is to let him make friends with kids who treat him with respect. I'd go out of my way to make friends with his friends' parents, too, just to get a sense of what goes on in their home. That's wise. (I'd do this if the people were "Christian" too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 (edited) To the OP...I am so sorry your family is going thru this. This is a tough road to be on. Let me encourage you in this. So long as a relationship with Christ is a beautiful thing inside your house, I would not worry to much about "christian" friends. Friends that love him and call out the best in him, no matter there faith are priceless!!!! To be honest, even though I am a pw...my kids favorite friends are either non-christian/non-practicing christian. They are my favorite friends of there's too! (I should add that I regulary let dd stay at her best friends(whose family doesn't attend church) house on Sat nights and don't pick her up till after lunch!) It sounds like I wouldn't be welcome in this group either ;) My blue highlights, ds's mohawks and skinny jeans, my live in (adopted) 24 ds with his full sleeve tatoo's, which he had done while living under my roof would disqualify me as a "good christian." Thankfully, God, my loved ones and our Sr. Pastor, don't see things that way. Please encourage your ds...these are not "real" christians...these are white washed tombs, and Jesus had some really strong words for them. Edited to add... the other option is that they are just very mislead and functioning out of a lot of FEAR!!! Take care... and pm me anytime!!!! Edited October 4, 2010 by simka2 added something Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Just come out and say it------ Protecting him from <gasp!> those who are not Christians. "Ended up with secular friends." Like it's shameful. :001_huh: Wow. astrid Thank you for saying this! It needed to be said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I have tried to help someone similar...but what the hey, I will bow out of this thread. Who were you trying to help? The OP? I think you have pretty much proven yourself to be exactly the kind of Christian that has hurt her and her son. Christian=Christ follower, right? Christ didn't hang out with the most proper people. He came not to judge and condemn, but to love. Did you catch the part about him hanging with the tax collectors and prostitutes? Jesus did some scandalous things, and we are called to be Jesus to the world. And aren't we pretty sure Jesus had long hair??? And I call bologna on the part about only God being able to see the inside of people. We are given the mind of Christ by the Holy Spirit, and with that comes power; power to see people and love them like Jesus loves them. If you would take a minute and really LOOK you could see the inside too. And I bet you'd be surprised. More hugs to you Cafe and to your son. I pray he will truly know the love of the Father. And that he will continue to grow in Christ in an intimate way. May he find friends who will love and accept him--ALL of him, including his beautiful packaging. Just wanted to mention something I saw from the balcony at church this morning. There is a beautiful young girl in my church (15 yrs old, I think) and she has recently begun to wear a type of clothing that I think is called emo. She wears dark and loose clothing, not exactly goth style, with dark make-up. I saw her on her face in the altar today worshiping God. That moved me to tears. Why would ANYBODY question her relationship with God? WHY? She loves Christ with everything she has, and she is beautiful to her Father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I think the irony for all the Christan community is my kids feels more welcome and loved by a group of people that don't believe in Jesus and his message. Then I see what we have put with and now I know why the Christan Message is consider hypocrisy by the world :iagree: We left our church in part for similar reasons. My dd sees right through the hypocrisy of those who profess to be Christian but only accept others who act/look/fill-in-the-blank in a way that they deem acceptable. The outside world judges "packaging." It's not how the church is to judge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 That stinks! I'm so :mad: I might blow a gasket. I am so sick to death of cr@p (gasp) like that. What's next? Hand out the 100 steps to looking like a Christian brochure at the door of the church, co-op, whatever. Do we understand just how pharasitical that sounds? We've added a long list of rules to Scripture and then imposed those rules on everyone just so we come out smelling like roses. If that doesn't sound like a Pharisee, then I don't know what would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I love Jesus and am a born again Christian and also home school but honestly am so tired of judgmental, isolationist, legalistic "Christian" that continue to hurt my son. I am so hurt for him and so tired of all of them. He is totally turning his back on Christianity because of these families. He is a loving, caring, gentle, poetic musical type kids. He loves people but honestly he can't keep "home school" friends because their parent don't approve of him. These aren't little kids but junior and senior kids that can't befriend a fellow 17 yo who is allowed to choose his own music, own hair, and oh gasp he got his tongue pierced. They consider him "evil" a bad influence or whatever. My son likes the skinny jeans and clean t shirts (no evil) advertise on him. He wears his hair with long bangs. He plays guitar and likes heavy mental but he doesn't play music with bad lyrics or messages. He actually has made friends with secular home school kids/family but the families live over a hour from us. I think the irony for all the Christan community is my kids feels more welcome and loved by a group of people that don't believe in Jesus and his message. Then I see what we have put with and now I know why the Christan Message is consider hypocrisy by the world :rant: :grouphug: and :iagree: It's tough. I know, because I was one of "those" kids. And my dd probably choose your ds to befriend just because of his "individuality" and bravery to be an individual. It's so important for kids to do their own thing (within reason) so they can learn to be the adult they were meant to be. It's a darn shame that so many adults seem to forget this... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I have tried to help someone similar...but what the hey, I will bow out of this thread. I didn't get the impression from the OP that her son needed help. Was the person you tried to help in need? Was he suicidal? Have abusive parents? Was he underfed and ignored? How is "helping someone similar" applicable to this thread? All you know about the OP's kid is his current fashion leanings. :001_huh: Really?! :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 My kids and your kids would get along just perfect, and I've had the same problems. I'm so sorry that you and your son are being hurt like this. I have often felt like I fit in more with secular people as well. I don't know about our local homeschool group because we aren't members, but I know he would fit right in at our church. It is the most accepting and non-judgmental church I have ever had the privilege of being a member of. It's a very "come as you are" church. It's all about the love of Jesus, exactly as it's supposed to be. And I believe there is nothing more beautiful than a group of teenagers worshipping Jesus; piercings, tattoos, skinny jeans, long hair and all. :grouphug: Amen. If I could find a church like that, I'd join. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: this is the main reason why we have left the church behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 :iagree: wish i could find a church like that here...sigh.... Amen. If I could find a church like that, I'd join. We would love to have you. If you ever find yourself in Western NC, let me know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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