PenKase Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Hello all, So, in a nutshell, our 10 year old dd will be leaving our crappy school system. I've prayed, meditated, prayed, and meditated about this for a very lllloooonnnngggg time. We are four weeks into the school year, at the intermediate school (that btw, is in it's 5th year of not meeting AYP) and dh and I have some serious. serious. reservations. already. So serious are our issues with dd's current school, class, and teacher that she is set to begin with a new teacher on Monday. We have been mulling over the situation and have decided that dd would be better at home than suffering through and adapting to mind.numbing.drone like.mediocrity. I'd be much obliged if you could speak to the following: 1. DD is slightly resistant to homeschooling because she'll miss her friends whom, btw, she sees for very brief periods of time, before class, in passing, on the school bus AND are the same "friends" who two-faced last year to the point of complaining about how unjust they were in their treatment of her. 2. DD has stated that she enjoys (and has flourished) being in a classroom setting, learning in a team environment. Obviously, we cannot compete with that at home but I'm committed, really more than anything, to help open her up to the realization that learning doesn't just happen in the classroom. 3. She'll dearly miss the novelty of riding the school bus, her "friends", the new school (kids in our district change schools in 5th grade); again things I cannot compete with at home. 4. My thinking is to provide a "cooling off/transition/deschooling" period while helping dd sort things out. Not sure yet what to do during this time. All in all, I do believe that homeschooling this child will allow her a view of the world outside of the school bubble to which she has grown so accustomed. She has a genuine, gentle, kind hearted, easy going, introspective, open-minded soul that should be fed and allowed to flourish. It really saddens me to see those qualities diminish due to the continued exposure to outside influences as a result of "socialization." Even my once homeschool resistant dh has opened himself up to see that the mock learning/social environment, which he has been a big proponent of, provided by traditional schools is not what he wants for his children. We have just begun to homeschool our dd6 this year and decided to leave the decision of whether or not to homeschool up to our dd10. As her parents, though, we feel we have to intervene before it's too late and things get worse. I know the pull to stay in school will be a challenge for her but in time I honestly feel she will be grateful for this alternative. My ultimate wish for both my children is that they be allowed the time and space to think and grow as individuals, learn who they are as people, understand their place in the world in an effort to leave it better than how they found it. As I stand today, I believe that my dh and I have been chosen to be their parents to help pave the path and clear the way in making this a realization. My ultimate contribution to this society is the love, dedication, and effort I put forth in helping to raise these precious beings, our tomorrow's future. Ok, I'm off the soapbox now. Thank you for reading. TIA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 First off...:grouphug: In the time that I have been reading this board, I have figured out that 1 month for every year a child has been in school is the recommended length of time they suggest to deschool a child. So 4-5 months for yours. Usually playing games, reading books together doing fun field trips, that sort of thing. Finding a homeschool group would be one way of helping her meet some friends, but there are also many other ways. Good luck with your decisions. I am sure others will add to this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 First off...:grouphug: In the time that I have been reading this board, I have figured out that 1 month for every year a child has been in school is the recommended length of time they suggest to deschool a child. So 4-5 months for yours. Usually playing games, reading books together doing fun field trips, that sort of thing. Finding a homeschool group would be one way of helping her meet some friends, but there are also many other ways. Good luck with your decisions. I am sure others will add to this. Yes, I would definitely go through a deschooling period. And when you do start school, I would recommend starting one subject at a time and then adding on once you've gotten used to that. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 (edited) My ds was younger when we pulled him from PS but he had some of the same issues with not wanting to be home educated. I'd be much obliged if you could speak to the following: 1. DD is slightly resistant to homeschooling because she'll miss her friends ... I made sure we stay in contact with his school friends, having them over regularly. The true friends are the ones who are still around. 2. DD has stated that she enjoys (and has flourished) being in a classroom setting, learning in a team environment. Obviously, we cannot compete with that at home but I'm committed, really more than anything, to help open her up to the realization that learning doesn't just happen in the classroom. Get connected to the local homeschool scene. Co-ops or other classes might help her feel she's in a classroom and offer lots of chances to make new friends. 3. She'll dearly miss the novelty of riding the school bus, her "friends", the new school (kids in our district change schools in 5th grade); again things I cannot compete with at home. I frankly never miss a chance when we're doing something fun to point out how we couldn't do it if they were at brick and mortar school. I also acknowledge that there are some things that they miss but others that the public school kids miss. 4. My thinking is to provide a "cooling off/transition/deschooling" period while helping dd sort things out. Not sure yet what to do during this time. We went to the library quite a bit and I let him read anything he wanted. We took field trips to zoo, museum, etc. We did lots of park and nature days. I also just let him decompress and hang out at home. I would also take lots of opportunities to acknowledge that she's angry and sad and that you know that. We also explained during these conversations that we regretted the momentary sadness but had to be the grown ups and make the hard decisions that a child isn't equipped to make. Communication without finger pointing (at least on your part) is important. Now, 1.5 year later he doesn't even talk about going back. Edited October 1, 2010 by joyofsix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma H Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Your daughter has a list of things about PS that she does not want to give up but in time she will see the even bigger benefits of homeschooling. The list will be much bigger! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenKase Posted October 1, 2010 Author Share Posted October 1, 2010 Thanks for your responses! I agree that dd will need a deschooling period. She is a voracious reader and it's something I am sure will continue during this time. We are fortunate enough to live close to two major urban cities (NYC and Philly) and I plan to make full use of the all that is available. Central NJ has a very active yahoo group and my dd6 is already taking a class at a learning center geared specifically for homeschoolers. With regard to her friends, she has one best friend whom she sees all the time, but her school "friends" she only sees there and never mentions the need to socialize with them outside of school hours. This may be easiest thing for her to get over. I would also take lots of opportunities to acknowledge that she's angry and sad and that you know that. We also explained during these conversations that we regretted the momentary sadness but had to be the grown ups and make the hard decisions that a child isn't equipped to make. Communication without finger pointing (at least on your part) is important. Now, 1.5 year later he doesn't even talk about going back. This is so great to hear!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 During her deschooling period, remember that one of the important goals is to learn a new way to relate to each other. Don't have some utopian idea that you will be sitting around giggling and playing together or quietly learning all day. The kids will have to find new ways to relate to each other. Please don't let her watch tv all day during her deschooling period although a couple of shows won't do you guys any harm, you don't want to start something that will be hard to break later. Plan trips to parks and outdoor areas as often as possible. Kids that have learned inside schools need some time to reconnect with the world around them. As you are starting habits, routines, and school plans, make sure that you are building the kind of school that you want your kids to attend. The transition from parent to parent teacher isn't easy, but it is very acheiveable. When you start looking at what to teach, remember that there is no perfect curriculum. Take time during the deschooling to read some challenging books yourself, don't just spend all the time researching what you are going to teach. And before you have math trouble - read Liping Ma's book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PenKase Posted October 1, 2010 Author Share Posted October 1, 2010 During her deschooling period, remember that one of the important goals is to learn a new way to relate to each other. Don't have some utopian idea that you will be sitting around giggling and playing together or quietly learning all day. The kids will have to find new ways to relate to each other. Please don't let her watch tv all day during her deschooling period although a couple of shows won't do you guys any harm, you don't want to start something that will be hard to break later. Plan trips to parks and outdoor areas as often as possible. Kids that have learned inside schools need some time to reconnect with the world around them. As you are starting habits, routines, and school plans, make sure that you are building the kind of school that you want your kids to attend. The transition from parent to parent teacher isn't easy, but it is very acheiveable. When you start looking at what to teach, remember that there is no perfect curriculum. Take time during the deschooling to read some challenging books yourself, don't just spend all the time researching what you are going to teach. And before you have math trouble - read Liping Ma's book. Good, sound, solid advice to take into serious consideration. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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