Once Again Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I was having pain and bleeding and went in for an ultrasound today. It showed an empty sac (no heartbeat or baby) in my right fallopian tube. The doctor assured me that the baby was already gone and that my uterus was empty (no second baby in the right place). She said it would not be safe to wait, that I could be putting my life at risk, and gave me methotrexate. I feel awful. I am pro-life, and I wanted this baby SO BAD. I wouldn't have done it if there was a heartbeat or any sign of the baby. Please pray for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You did the right thing. I would've done the same thing and I'm pro-life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I am so very sorry for your loss. That is so hard. I will pray for you but I also just want to tell you NOT to feel guilty for this! The sac was EMPTY. No heartbeat. You did not do anything wrong here. Please give yourself some grace during this difficult time, okay? I am very pro-life as well and would not have hesitated to take the methotruxate or whatever was necessary to spare my tube AND possibly my life. Hang in there. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I am so sorry for your loss, and the hard decisions that you have had to make in this situation. I am shedding tears for you and your poor lost wee babe. I know you may not be ready to hear this, but I am also happy that you are alive. Your life matters, too, and there are people who need you and would be devastated by the risk or loss of you if this had not been treated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm so very sorry for your loss. That's heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I am pro life and I made the exact same decision as you did. There was not a baby, just a sac. A sac is not a life. :grouphug: Its still a loss and I felt as much pain as if there was a baby. I will say a prayer for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 As a prolife mama, I understand your fear, but try not to feel guilty. :grouphug: Even if your baby had still been in the sack, neither one of you could survive an ectopic pregnancy for very long. You could not have traded your life for the life of your baby in this circumstance--it's not medically possible. All you could have done was die along with your baby. I pray that He will give comfort you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juelle Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 May God provide for your every need. I felt awful taking drugs to complete a missed miscarriage (baby dead for several weeks, my body still trying to be pregnant) for the very same reason. We are blessed to have medical help to survive what once would have taken us, too. I am so sorry for your loss.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 :grouphug: I know you need time to grieve right now... but when you are ready, please let the above messages sink in. It is not your fault. Praying for healing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm so sorry :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I'm so sorry. I had an ectopic. I'm also pro-life. My baby had a heartbeat when it was discovered and I was rushed into emergency surgery to take it. It was the hardest thing I've had to do...seeing my baby's heartbeat on the monitor and then signing the papers to kill my baby so that I could live even after the doctor told me we would both me dead by morning otherwise. It took me a long time to come to terms with it. You wouldn't have survived an ectopic pregnancy. You made the right choice. BTW - if you decide to google the pregnancy rates after an ectopic, don't get discouraged. I know a lot of women - myself included - who have gone on to have a successful pregnancy after an ectopic. You just need to make sure that you have a plan for testing after a + HPT so that you can make sure it's not another ectopic. Last, allow yourself to grieve. Don't let people tell you that it was "just a baby" or that you can't grieve since you lost him/her so early. I got my first (and only) tattoo afterward because I wanted something to remind me of the baby that no one could take away. I know other people who still light a candle to celebrate the day they found out they were pregnant in memory of their child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 :grouphug: I will pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 You did the right thing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cindie2dds Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I was having pain and bleeding and went in for an ultrasound today. It showed an empty sac (no heartbeat or baby) in my right fallopian tube. The doctor assured me that the baby was already gone and that my uterus was empty (no second baby in the right place). She said it would not be safe to wait, that I could be putting my life at risk, and gave me methotrexate. I feel awful. I am pro-life, and I wanted this baby SO BAD. I wouldn't have done it if there was a heartbeat or any sign of the baby. Please pray for me. I had the exact same choice to make almost 10 years ago. I am pro-life also, and it was THE hardest decision I've ever made. You made the right one! I know exactly how you are feeling, give yourself some grace and :grouphug::grouphug:! Blessings, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Photo Ninja Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 My first pregnancy was ectopic, and not identified until my ovary burst from it, requiring emergency surgery. I later went on to birth three healthy babies. But please, know that it is okay to grieve. Give yourself permission to grieve and don't feel bad about needing to. It is a terrible loss, and I feel for you. Grieving is part of the emotional healing process, and it needs to take place just as much as the physical healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woolspinner Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I too am sorry for your loss. I very much agree with duckens! You are important and have no need of feeling guilty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Bless you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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