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sort of s/o of being called Mr. & Mrs. Last Name


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How do you feel about kids or others calling you Mrs. Last Name? I don't really care one way or the other, and I leave it up to the kid's parents to tell them what to call me. However, my mother would have slapped us silly if we had ever tried to call an adult by his or her first name.

 

When I was 15, a very young couple with a baby and a toddler moved into the house next to us. Even though they told me to call them by their first names, my mother insisted I address them as Mr. and Mrs. LastName. Flash forward 26 years, and our families are still friends. Now I'm married to a man that is older than both Mr. and Mrs. Old Neighbors, but I STILL call them Mr. and Mrs. LastName. I can't stop. They think it's ridiculous, and call me Mrs. MyLastName.

 

Also, the young men who clean our pool every week call me Mrs. LastName and it makes me feel about 100 years old. I think they do it so that they don't have to remember the first names of all their clients, but it still feels weird to me.

 

As far as what my kids call adults, I usually ask what that person prefers, or when in doubt, they use Mr. or Mrs.

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Becoming an adult is a great equalizer, so you really could call your old neighbors by their first names if they have asked you to do so. My il's asked me to use their first names, and it took me a long time to be comfortable with that!

 

But I require my kids to use Mr/Mrs Lastname when addressing adults. Even if the adults have requested otherwise. The only exception is that my teens have about three young couples (early to mid twenties) who are their youth group leaders. They have a very close relationship, like big brothers and sisters, so first names are fine there.

 

I like it when kids call me Mrs. Lastname. It just feels respectful. Also, between church and home school coop classes, I never know when I will end up in a teaching situation with them. In the classroom I would not want the kids calling me by my first name, so it seems better to just set the precedent right up front.

Edited by AuntieM
Just wasn't done!
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I require it. If they call me by my first name, I correct them immediately as gently as possible. I also find that young people I know tend to listen to me and respect me. I'm not saying I have proof that it's the cause, but you never know...

 

I also correct clerks who call me by my first name off of my credit card. Ugh!

 

Dh's students can call me Mrs. Hisfirstname, because they often know him as Mr. Firstname (a peculiarity of the special needs programs he is involved in.)

 

I call anyone my parents age of older Mrs. or Mr. until they tell me otherwise. One older woman at our old church was very hard for most people to get along with, but she softened to me immediately when I saw her in the grocery and called her Mrs. Lastname. :001_smile:

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I also correct clerks who call me by my first name off of my credit card. Ugh!

 

 

 

just in their defense ~ some places *require* their employees to do this...i worked in a store that had that kind of policy.

 

as for myself ~ i prefer being called by my first name, but if people are more comfortable with formality, whatever. some of my kids' friends' parents require that their children address me as Mrs. Lastname and i respect their choice. i don't always realize they're speaking to ME though! :laugh:

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I require my kids to address adults by a title. In most situations, we do Mr./Miss + Firstname because (A) it seems more accepted in our social circle (B) with so many women keeping their maiden names after marriage or divorced & remarried, I can't assume that the child's last name is the same as the mom's.

 

Even though I'm in my 30's, it feels weird to address my parents' friends and my friends' parents by their first names. A few weeks ago when I was visiting my folks, we stopped by a function at my mom's church. It was so strange to say "Bill" and "Diane" when I still think of them as "Mr. & Mrs. C____" ;)

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I have kids call me Aunt_____ if they're close or Miss__(firstname)____ or Ms. ___(firstname)___ if it's some sort of troop activity.

 

Mrs. ______ is my MILs name.

 

Now, if we're somewhere and I'm acting the capacity of my husband the CEO and owners wife, then I'll let people call me Mrs. ____ if they must. Or if we go to a state function --you know. The formal crud. But I will let them address me and then say, "Please, call me _____."

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To many of us it is simply a question of manners. Not all feel this way but I view a child that calls an adult by only his first name as ill-mannered, unless specifically told to do so. I do not tolerate it.

 

I feel the same way about salesmen or insurance agents. Friends and acquaintances call be by my first name. For employees or someone who wants me to buy something....it is Mr.

Edited by pqr
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I PREFER for kids to call me by my first name, but I let them call me whatever their parents require.

 

Dh insists that our children call most adults Mr. /Mrs. last name. I don't get it because that is not how I grew up.

 

Yesterday, I took the kids to a birthday party. When I got there, I realized they were short of chairs. I left the kids there and went home to get some extras. When I got back to the party, guests were actually walking out to my car to say, "I met your children, and I am so impressed with their behavior. What an admirable job you have done with them."

 

When I got inside, I could hear people saying, "That's those polite children's mother." This isn't even an isolated event. Once, my son went to a boy scout camp in another state without our troop. Before he even got home two separate parents called me to tell me ds was the most respectful, polite child they had ever met.

 

Now, I like my children well enough most days, but they are not that exceptional. I really think the "Yes Ma'am" "No Ma'am" "Mr./Mrs. Last name" talk makes a huge impression on some people.

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I prefer kids to call me Mrs. Lastname. If they don't, I ask them to do so. I prefer for my kids to call adults Mr. or Mrs. Lastname. If the adult prefers otherwise, we have a problem, unless that adult is a friend of mine or is in a position of authority over my kids (boy scout leader).

 

If a doctor or dentist calls me by my first name, I do the same with them.

 

If store clerks, nurses, other hospital personnel, receptionists, and salespeople call me by my first name, I politely correct them.

 

Friends and acquaintances I know socially or speak to regularly (like the mail lady) call me by my first name.

Edited by RoughCollie
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Generally I want to be called Mrs. or Ms. LastName by children. There has only been one exception to that: my oldest dd's best friend called me by my first name as my dd did her mother, who happened to be my best friend. We were at over at their house, or they were at ours, several times a week. My children are required to call adults by Mrs. LastName unless otherwise directed. No one I can think of has ever asked my children to call them by a first name. It's manners.

 

When I was younger I didn't like being called Mrs. LastName primarily because I used my maiden name at work and among old friends. Once we had children, I wanted us to all share to the same last name so I go by dh's. Now that I'm older, I really bristle at strangers calling me by my first name (telemarketers, tellers, cashiers, etc.). I don't know them, they don't know me. I think it's rude to call someone by their first name that you don't know. I like Mrs. LastName; feel like I've earned it.

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I prefer Mrs. Lastname when I'm in a position of authority (a teacher, a director, etc.). All of my husband's students call me Mr. Lastname's wife which I think is cute. That said, I don't correct a child over this matter. If their parents introduce me as Mrs. Firstname, then that is what we go with. No biggie.

 

I expect my children to say Mr/Ms. Lastname unless the person is very close to us. My kids call my best friend Aunt Firstname even though she isn't really related to us.

 

If an adult has protested about the Mr/Ms Lastname and asks to be called by the first name then we say, Mr./Ms/Miss Firstname.

 

Oh, and since it may come up, I do not allow my children to call me by my first name. They can call me Mom, Mama, Mommy, Supreme Ruler of Their Tiny Universe but no first name.

Edited by Daisy
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I prefer to be called Ms. Kel or Ms. Kelly, My kids call adults by Ms./Miss./Mr. First Name because that's what is normal in our circle. The gym they attend has all the instructors go by Mr/Ms. First name. It wouldn't be that hard for kids to say Mrs. Last name for me now, but my maiden name was Moczynski and it was hard for many adults to get it right let alone kids, especially little ones. I've never had anyone ask my kids to call them by Mrs./Mr. Last name instead so I guess we'll deal with that when we come across it.

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I prefer to be called by my first name. If another parent insists that their child be more formal I don't mind so long as they don't call me Miss Wendy. I really dislike being called that. I am not a preschool teacher.

 

Same here (well, calling me Miss Wendy would be monumentally weird, as my name isn't Wendy, but you know what I mean). That practice caused some friction in my social circle, because we had a few women from the southern US for whom Miss Firstname is considered good manners. Another woman, though, pointed out that where she is from, Miss Firstname implies someone in charge of a brothel. Quite the cultural divide, that.

 

I never know what to be called, as I didn't take my husband's name, so I'm not a Mrs., but I'm not a big fan of Ms. First name is ok with me, but I get that a lot of parents don't want their kids addressing adults that way. I suppose "Kid's Name's Mom" is my best bet.

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I have found many different rules for this in different parts of the country. In the south--where my parents live--- many people are called Miss first name or even Miss some enduring nickname. When living in the midwest there were NO adults that were not addressed with a Mr or Mrs. last name by my children. In California it seems common for kids to call adults by their first name.

 

Personally, I like to be called Mrs. Lastname by kids. At church I'm called Sister Lastname by all the youth. I like that.

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