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S/O of Poll ....Is your family exhausted??


Is your family exausted  

  1. 1. Is your family exausted

    • yes
      41
    • no
      28
    • We are working on it.
      24
    • We used to be, but we are doing great now.
      8


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I think my entire family is exhausted. After years of running a business, dealing with illness, financial issues, agig parents, swimming competitively, homeschooling etc. I feel my entire family is exhausted...and worse...we don't know HOW to kick back and relax....

 

Seems we are always at full speed ahead...or total CRASH. This weekend, we are at total crash....

 

I would like to start having some fun and enjoying my family, but I am too exhausted to plan anything...sheesh, it is almost October and I haven't planned our school work yet...we are just finishing up odds and ends from last year.

 

Anyway....is your family exhausted??

What have you done to rectify and change it?

 

Faithe

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We have a lot on our plate as well. The farm animals and human baby take constant work, but it is work we enjoy. Whenever my husband has time off, he needs to repair a fence, or go buy feed.

 

Here is my new plan for balance. I want to find a farm sitter I can trust, and start taking 2 family vacations each year.

 

One would be tagging along when Dh had a meeting in Europe, and the other would be getting a beach house for a week. I'd also like to take a weekend off every few months to visit friends.

 

We need some time just to be together as a family. I think we could come back to our work with much more enthusiasm.

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We went through this and especially with dh's work hours, we felt like we were always on the go and never together.

 

We dropped homeschool soccer league. Though the kids enjoyed it, they felt they were ready for a break and I was going to make it an issue because this league played even in the winter (at an indoor dome) and the commuting on bad roads had finally taken it's toll on my mental!

 

I dropped an area of ministry at the church that was too time intensive. We also stopped going to a small little homeschool group for music and art. I taught the music and though I enjoyed my pupils, the moms would not stop visiting and keep the rowdier children under control. I was doing it for free and losing my enthusiasm for the class. It was a stress that I ended up being happy to eliminate.

 

We stopped leading a Bible study in our home - eleven couples and 28 children. The parents expected us to host it, provide snacks, and take care of their kids and since dh was the leader, he also had "leadership" meetings at church on top of the every Sunday night expectation. It was a blessing to end that.

 

I teach piano, trumpet, and beginning violin here at home. Our big, major time committment is 4-H. But, dh and I love leading our science group and we do all of the planning together in the evenings. We only have the group here one Saturday morning per month. It's something we can handle and have a blast doing. It's also great for our boys. We only do science projects with the kids in the club. The parents have to supervise all other project areas that their kids might be interested in so we don't get overwhelmed.

 

So, yeah, our kids aren't doing a lot of things that they used to do. On the other hand, they do get to take riding lessons at a neighboring farm but our trainer is flexible which helps. If I have a sickie, she is more than happy to reschedule and doesn't charge us when we absolutely can't come up with a mutual rescheduling time. The boys are doing this for fun, not to compete, and so our trainer keeps everything basic and no pressure. They are learning a lot and it's totally stress free!

 

My advice, identify three regular activities and eliminate them for a while. You can always pick up later but it sounds like you need a break. Plus, sometimes, once you let something go, you find out that it really wasn't a family passion and it's okay to not pick it up again. It can be really hard to choose the things you will end, but it is well worth doing. We are in a much happier place than we were two years ago.

 

Faith

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I took "your family" to mean the children. My dh and I are exhausted, the kids are not. They do work hard and play hard but we make sure they have down time and rest when they need it. The problem for the adults is that (esp. for dh) he can't always get the downtime or rest when he needs it. I have a bit more lee-way but not always. If someone gets sick etc. I have to get up in the middle of the night or have to deal with things whether I feel like it or not.

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Yes, for a lot of the reasons you mentioned. Illness, nursing sick parents, taking care of parent's estate and financial concerns, running across town to watch other aging parents, losing job, finding job, losing job, trying to pay for health insurance, homeschooling, being a parent who is present (mentally and physically) and on and on the list goes. I think I could relax but life doesn't seem to be granting us any space to do so.

 

We do try to take some time in the evening (dh and me) by taking a walk, sitting outside watching the stars, sitting together over a cup of coffee in the morning or on Sundays taking the kids on a picnic, even if it's in our own backyard. It does help keep some sort of balance even though it's not much.

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Yes, we're coming through a period of exhaustion for us all. Dh was out of work most of the summer. Ds had a good friendship break apart last fall. I've had allergies and sinus issues for months, the dog has allergies, the cat had fleas, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's been a very hard year.

 

DH being out of work ended up being a blessing in disguise. He got to find some real rest, we took time to be a family, and make some life decisions. We're moving in the month or two and the new goals we're setting have rejuvenated us.

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I am exhausted, DS is exhausted, I strongly suspect DH is exhausted, and DD is oblivious that she is about 90% of the cause of all this exhaustion. I just want to get her stable; that would make things a ton easier. I've already dropped one activity per kid, so now DS has swimming lessons and DD has violin lessons and that's all I can handle. Last year DS did Cub Scouts, and I was planning on putting DD in dance, but until she's stable, it's not going to happen. I just live one day at a time right now!

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We are this week. James has been sick the past three weeks. First with a sore throat, then sinuses. Antibiotics didn't agree with him, got totally dehydrated and then needed intravenous fluids twice. Now he seems to have a bladder infection. We are waiting on the lab culture results to see what the next course of action is. Though happy to say he is no longer throwing up, keeping foods down and actually ate a piece of toast today. First solid food in about a week. We've been going through a lot of Pedialtye. Things are looking up, however stressing over a sick kid has been tiring.

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I actually ended up in the hospital this past summer for 3 days due to stess and exhaustion which manifested itself in the form of seizure like activity. We have had some big changes here, I can't elaborate, but that has helped amazingly.

 

I am still busy, but I refuse to do anything I don't have a passion for or atleast a really good reason.

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after dealing with major health troubles last year, I have learned how to say NO to so many things and I've come to realize that not every activity is an 'opportunity' some are just busyness. We were doing too many things that just weren't that important and sacrificing family life.

 

I'm still tempted, but for the most part we say NO to just about anything that will add to our commitments. DH makes sure of this. I have ongoing pain and health problems, so that makes it easier not to commit to extras.

 

We actually have time to complete schoolwork each day, and I have time to grade it and hand it back immediately. I also have time to do the planning I want to do, which allows me to add in the fun things our family enjoys doing together (verses what all of our friends/relatives/homeschool buddies want us to do).

 

Right now our outside activities are only once a week on Tuesday evenings. Every other week they have 4H dog club, and on the off weeks they have horseback riding. Things may get a little busier later this year, but I'm going to keep activities to a minimum because we are all soooo much more relaxed. My DS and DD came to me and told me how much happier they are being at home more. I am actually finding myself enjoying the time I spend teaching instead of feeling pressured to get it over with so we can get out the door.

 

I hope those of you who are feeling pressured will find a way to get some relief.

 

Shannon

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Yes.

We're exhausted from daily life and health issues from my lupus, and the kids Tourettes.

2 years ago we bought annual passes to Disneyland, and it was the best thing for us.

We just renewed them, and it brought a renewed excitement into the house. We actively acknowledge that it's the place to have fun, be silly, and feel happy.

We go on weekday evenings (short lines), we only stay for around 2 hours, and we eat at our friend's restaurant around the corner from there.

 

I feel very lucky to have found something easy and fun for us.

But we're still exhausted. :)

 

If I could add something relaxing to our lives, I wish we could have hammocks. I would love to lie around talking, laughing, and having a nice drink.

 

Have you considered closing the house and family down on Sundays? We do that a lot too. Sometimes I'll barely open the curtains, keep the good movies flowing, putz around.. actually that's what we're doing right now.

 

Once I realized how much our health issues were a part of our lives, I had to force myself to learn how to stop. It was a skill that I had to (have to) work on. I think it's just as important as school, sports, work....

I realized I was setting the family up for disaster, health and emotional wise, if I didn't finally learn how to relax.

 

:grouphug:

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Yes, we are exhausted. At least dh and I are, the kids not so much. I think a lot of it is the pressure of owning our own business and trying to keep our head above water in this economy. Dh has been working LONG hours, which means everything around here falls to me.

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Yeah, we are. I think the kids are fine, but mom and dad are not. Dh has 2 major injuries right now. One is an old back injury that has flared up a ton this year. The other is a major nerve injury that has wiped out use of his right hand. It's pain on top of pain. Dd went back to ps this year (sorry Faithe!) and keeping up with her is exhausting. It only takes one round of helping her with her homework to remind me that hsing her would be more exhausting. I set out over the summer to start an interfaith co-op. The end result was 2 co-ops:confused::confused:. For one of them I am playing a major role. I've got the kids in one activity each, but that still wipes me out. Ds10's health issues are ever present and have flared up in REALLY odd ways lately. Our only vacation this year had an absolute bomb dropped into it (dh's injury), which left us vacationless, and even more exhausted than when we started. And, dh is a pastor. nuff said.

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I'm exhausted, dh is in pain which I'm sure is also exhausting, but the kids are doing pretty well. I'm sure I'd be less exhausted if I called on the kids to help more, but dealing with their whining about doing work is more exhausting (and disheartening) for me than just doing the work myself! :glare:

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