Is your spouse overworked and/or stressed?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I know that we get a lot of posts from overworked and stressed homeschool parents on this board. I was wondering about our spouses - are they overworked and/or stressed?

[Joker]

I know my dh is stressed right now with work. There are a few times a year that I know his workload is crazy and I try to make things a little easier at home. The other side is when he has a light load he tries to take some time off to just "be" with us so it all works out in the end.

[Daisy]

My husband is about as easy going as they come. I can't think of anything that stresses him out much. He's an incredibly hard worker but he gets along with everyone. Never has conflicts. It blows my mind.

 

It is probably good because I stress out enough for the both of us.

[Night Elf]

We're in a good position right now. DH works from home and loves it. He goes into the office for half a day once a week and enjoys that too. He says there isn't anything stressful for him at all right now. He's a problem solver by nature so anything that even smacks of worry is usually taken care of pretty quickly.

[AuntieM]

My dh is like Daisy's, very calm and collected fr the most part. But over the last dozen years or so, I have seen a direct relationship between technological advances and his stress level.

 

Twenty years ago, no one had cell phones and many guys in his position had administrative assistants. Then everyone got cell phones. That was great, for a traveling rep, he could make use of that drive time. Then everyone got laptops, and the last of the admin assts got laid off and everyone handled their own correspondence, copying, filing, etc.

 

Then came email. Then Blackberries. Then job consolidation.

 

What my dh now faces includes doing the job tasks that once belonged to up to three people, as well as being electronically accessible (and expected to reply) near 24/7. And if he takes vacation time, it means double time later to catch up on the tasks that piled up in his absence.

 

No more just packing up the desk at 5pm on Friday and devoting your full attention to family, hobbies and church for the weekend.

 

So, stressed? Yeah...

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

My dh is like Daisy's, very calm and collected fr the most part. But over the last dozen years or so, I have seen a direct relationship between technological advances and his stress level.

 

Twenty years ago, no one had cell phones and many guys in his position had administrative assistants. Then everyone got cell phones. That was great, for a traveling rep, he could make use of that drive time. Then everyone got laptops, and the last of the admin assts got laid off and everyone handled their own correspondence, copying, filing, etc.

 

Then came email. Then Blackberries. Then job consolidation.

 

What my dh now faces includes doing the job tasks that once belonged to up to three people, as well as being electronically accessible (and expected to reply) near 24/7. And if he takes vacation time, it means double time later to catch up on the tasks that piled up in his absence.

 

No more just packing up the desk at 5pm on Friday and devoting your full attention to family, hobbies and church for the weekend.

 

So, stressed? Yeah...

 

:iagree: completely and totally, absolutely!!!!!

 

My DH was so easy-going. He absolutely does not do conflict. But as he's progressed in his career simultaneous to technology being more invasive, his stress level has gone way up. He's a Maintenance Test Pilot and currently oversees maintenance for an entire squadron of aircraft. They operate day and night and whether he's at the dinner table or on vacation :mad:, he is called upon to respond and problem solve. He also recently found out that the job he's doing is supposed to be two separate jobs! Heap on multiple deployments, foreign and domestic, and he is more stressed than I have ever seen him and I feel like it's starting to affect his health. :( I am purposefully working on getting him as relaxed as possible. I'm making a concerted effort every day to make our home as relaxing as possible...and to keep my huffing and puffing when the phone rings or he is texted in the middle of dinner to a minimum. Compared to the stress he's under, I feel like being a homeschooling mom is a vacation.

[smrtmama]

I needed a "some of the time" option. Of course he's stressed on occasion. He's a cop! Long hours, crazy situations.

[Denisemomof4]

yes, all the time now. I wonder if he and I both will EVER recover from our burnout.:sad:

[Dandelion]

My DH is neither overworked nor stressed. Since he started working for himself a year ago, he's had the most low-stress, relatively easy job he's ever had... He gets off at the same time every day, heads to the gym and works out for an hour, and then breezes into the house with a smile on his face like he's had the best day ever. That pretty much happens every day... :)

 

Seems counter-intuitive - usually, when you strike out on your own, your stress level increases. But that hasn't been the case for him at all...

 

Now I on the other hand...well, you didn't ask about that so I'll stick to the topic. ;)

[Gwenhwyfar]

"much of the time" ~ he really dislikes his job.

[angela in ohio]

I voted "much of the time." But it's for a good cause, so there is an underlying joy and satisfaction there that makes it easier even when it is horribly stressful. :001_smile:

 

ETA: I should clarify... he is overworked much of the time, stressed just once in a while.

Edited September 26, 2010 by angela in ohio

[Peela]

No, he does not work "hard" and loves his work.

He is not what I would call an easy going personality though...he does get stressed...but more about whether the kids have done their chores, than anything at work.

My dh is a big kid. Every day is a big playtime to him. Except sometimes.

[dm379]

I put much of the time. He loves his job but it comes with a lot of responsibility. If he screws up just a little he faces the possibility of being responsible for the loss of millions of dollars of equipment or his crew's lives. I think I worry about it more than he does though. He only acts stressed when he has tests.

[missmoe]

I was one of the others. My husband is over worked, but not stressed. He loves his work and the challenges it presents. But of course, we all work he didn't have to work so hard.

[Renee in NC]

My dh is overworked and stressed, but probably not the same reasons others are. After working where he does for 8 months now, he realizes why all the other guys have the attitudes they do.

 

My dh is a hard worker. He is the one who past employers could rely on to get the job done. At his current job, he works and works to get the job done, but then he just gets more work. So, if he trims hedges for 8 hours to get something finished, they'll just find new hedges for him to trim tomorrow. Or parking lots to sweep. Or weeds to pull (he just spend a week pulling weeds for 8 hours a day.)

 

His job itself isn't stressful, though, just tedious. It's the pay that stresses him out! I keep reminding him that he is a "short-timer" - in almost exactly 8 months he will quit and we will move and he will never have to go back there again.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Yes....

 

My husband is the sole breadwinner the majority of every year.

 

His schedule is 58 hours of work per week. It can move up or down from there depending on a number of factors. Not overworking means we don't have enough money. Regularly, he's pretty tired too much of the time. If he works even more (60-84 hours), it's just way too much. But it is weeks like that that keep us from drowning when it rains so much he can't work other weeks.

 

He understands the value of working hard, doing a good job, etc. His name is on the line and a person should work for the pay they are given. And he understands the severe consequences that could happen because people aren't careful, doing their job well, etc. In his job, it can mean loss of life, limb, even long term issues down the road for the company, it's employees, etc.

 

He finds immaturity and/or stupidity and or laziness very difficult to deal with; he works with druggies, men stuck at 12yrs old, and people who refuse to work. Then he comes home and though our boy is good, he's still pretty silly and immature and not altogether responsible without a bit of oversight or checking. This seems worse to hubby due to what hubby sees at work.

 

He has a chronically and often severely sick wife. Unfortunately, his daughter (and possibly son) has inherited said illness. An umbrella diagnosis and good treatment or cure has yet to be found. I have no doubt it is very difficult for a man so set on making things RIGHT to not be able to do SOMETHING about his wife's (and now kids') pain. And then to not know when the next major set back (like another stroke) may happen?

 

Hubby says I deserve better than him and what he's put me through (mostly financially). He is completely wrong. What did I do to be so loved and served by such a great man? I was sick before we married. He knew it wouldn't be an easy road, but did it anyway.

 

You know what is neat through all this? He's SO witty and fun. He's got more personality in his big toe than I have at all. People really enjoy him and having him around. And it makes life so much easier for him and us to deal with. No doubt, if I were him, I would have lost all that year ago, but he's dependable. You WILL smile within minutes of knowing him/being with him. Just can't help it. Even grumpy ol' me still laughs several times a day with this man :)

Edited September 26, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Parrothead]

No, I do not think dh is stressed from work. At least not often.

[jld]

He never seems stressed, though he must be sometimes. He's usually so even that when he seems even a little bit emotional, we're all shocked by it.

 

He's definitely the rock in our family. Nothing could ever be so bad you couldn't tell "Dad" about it, and know that he would do whatever he could to help you out. Saintly man. :)

[Mommyfaithe]

yes, all the time now. I wonder if he and I both will EVER recover from our burnout.:sad:

 

:iagree: This is where we are. :iagree: Still trying to make it, still striving to keep our heads above water, our bodies falling apart from years and years of hard physical labor. Yes, we are both totally overworked, over-stressed, over weight, over exhausted, and stuck in a place we are not sure how to get out of......

 

:confused: :-(

 

NBut on the flip side we have great kids and a great marriage....so we count our blessings,

 

~~Faithe

[elegantlion]

Yes, much of the time. He was out of work most of the summer (a first ever!) and honestly the being out of work was less stressful than his actual work.

 

I've seen him work with broken bones, with a concussion, seven days a week for weeks on end. He's climbed ladders in rain storms to put tarps on leaky roofs. He's lived in my aunt's house in the one room not totaled by a hurricane for almost 6 months while he repaired the home. It was for security and there were no hotels available.

 

He loves to stay busy and active and enjoys working hard, but when you have little down time it can be too much.

[2squared]

Yes and no?

 

My dh is stressed trying to find ways to make more money and trying to support five dc. He is stressed with the amount of little bodies we have. He is stressed when he has to deal with child protection cases (he's an attorney). Seeing the abuse some children go through is very, very difficult for him.

 

But then....he comes home to his reprieve. He more than loves on our 5 acres and he gets such joy from having animals, gardening, etc. He loves seeing the kids run, climb trees, and dig holes out here in the midde of nowhere.

 

So, I guess at least dh has an outlet when he comes home. The cornfields and sunsets are his therapy.

[Dmmetler]

Between work, his grandparents both dying this past year (and some complications of that with regards to an older sister with mental health issues), and general life, DH is VERY stressed. I really wish we could trade places for even 6 months-I think both he and DD would benefit from that time together. I've got a lot on my plate, but I don't feel particularly stressed.

[Love2Smile]

YES! He has a very stressful job, is a Lt. in the largest jail in our county, works 3PM to 3am and is always tired!

[SailorMom]

MY DH is AD military, deploys A LOT. When he is home, he usually works between 12 and 16 hour days.

So - overworked, yes - stressed - rarely. Not his personality.

[Pretty in Pink]

My dh is in the military. It's really quite stressful for all of us.

[LibraryLover]

My dh is Mr Mellow. He's taught me bunches about not sweating the stuff that doesn't matter. It makes all the difference.

[Halftime Hope]

He works essentially as a problem-solver. It is his gift. Except that the company culture doesn't allow for getting anything fixed. Grrr!