S/O Intense DCs - Sensitive to sound?

[Giraffe]

I was so relieved to find that I'm not the only one with an intense child - I was wondering if you all had sensory issues with your DCs.

 

DD is usually ok in public, but it all falls apart if there is a loud noise - vacuum, garbage disposal, coffee grinder or blender in a restaurant/bookstore/cafe, and heaven help us if there are automatic toilets and/or automatic hand dryers in the bathrooms.

 

I know a lot of kids don't like loud noises - I get that. But this is like flipping a switch in DD - she turns into screaming banshee/temper tantrum monster. Hands flapping, screaming, running in place. Just seeing a hand dryer will start the reaction. It's taken me over a year but I've finally convinced her that if it's a "family" restroom where we can lock the door and are the only ones in there I will not allow the dryer to start. Even then it ain't easy (and usually results in changing clothes from the bottom down).

 

At home I have to warn her and countdown before I turn on the garbage disposal. Same with the vacuum - except she runs into another room and shuts the door in a panic before I start it.

 

Anyone else? Any ideas for helping her?

[Parrothead]

It was all I could do to help dd cope with noise too. Lots of warnings, lots of understanding.

 

Even the toilet flush at home bothered her.

 

I often thought it would come to the point that I'd have to buy foam ear plugs to take her anywhere.

 

Eventually she outgrew most of it. There was never any place we went that I could not leave if it was too much for her. I let her decide.

 

To this day though she won't flush if she gets up in the middle of the night. She says it is so loud that she is afraid it will wake us up.

 

I can only think that we can't hear the way she does.

[RegularMom]

My older dd is like that with sounds, too. It's why I ended up homeschooling actually.

 

The noise of a crowded classroom just about did her in. Not to mention the BEEPs on the story CD's. The teacher didn't read story books to the class; she turned on a CD and turned the pages at the BEEPs. My dd would cower in the furthest corner of the room (her hands and arms clapped over her head) during story time. No one ever thought to mention this to me, of course. I only found out about it when I accidentally showed up early to pick her up one day. And that was only preschool. (sigh)

 

Anyway... as a baby and young child, she struggled with vaccuums, hair dryers, toilet flushings, crowd-noises, lawnmowers, etc etc etc....

 

She has slowly grown out of most of it. She's 10 now, and while I don't require her to vaccuum as a chore (because her sister really loves that) she can stay in the room if there's a vaccuum running. She can handle public restrooms now, too. We usually look for non-automatic ones whenever we can. And I don't require the use of hand dryers. We just shake the water off our hands and keep on going. Or I just pull out a travel bottle of hand sanitizer and we use that instead.

 

She can ride the train to the city now, and only covers her ears when the trains actually whistle.

 

All it takes is time and patience. And the understanding that if she's really struggling, we'll leave as soon as possible. Sometimes, we simply have to be at an event, due to family obligations. Sometimes, I just tell her I understand, and that we'll leave as soon as we can. Our home is kept at peaceful decibels most of the time. She knows she can rely on her home as a place of quiet. It helps. We make regular quiet time a standard part of our day.

 

The world is loud now, but she's slowly finding her way through it. Each year, she gets a little better.

 

There are so many books on this subject, but my favorite one is The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron.

 

HTH.

[Laurie]

I know a lot of kids don't like loud noises - I get that. But this is like flipping a switch in DD - she turns into screaming banshee/temper tantrum monster. Hands flapping, screaming, running in place. Just seeing a hand dryer will start the reaction.

 

Anyone else? Any ideas for helping her?

 

Both of my dc are on the autism spectrum and they both showed extreme hypersensitivities like you're describing from a very early age.

Please consider that this may be a neurologically-based problem and talk to a pediatrician who is knowledgeable about autism spectrum disorders...please don't think of your dd as a "temper tantrum monster" because she sounds like she's really suffering and needs help. For some kids, life really hurts. :crying:

[JFSinIL]

I was and still am one of those kids - but for me it is the little sounds or sights that make every nerve in my body feel like it is a tense wire being plucked and twisted until I HAVE to block the sound/vision my making my own noise and/or shoving my fingers in my ears and shutting my eyes or otherwise blocking my view of the sight and/or leaving the room.

 

Folks who are not affected as intensely by sights and/or sounds just don't get it...and rarely empathize. Unless I point out that THEY can't stand nails on a chalkboard, right (not so bad to me as nail clicking/scratching/chewing/tapping/page-turning/cellophane crackling etc.).

[Giraffe]

Both of my dc are on the autism spectrum and they both showed extreme hypersensitivities like you're describing from a very early age.

Please consider that this may be a neurologically-based problem and talk to a pediatrician who is knowledgeable about autism spectrum disorders...please don't think of your dd as a "temper tantrum monster" because she sounds like she's really suffering and needs help. For some kids, life really hurts. :crying:

 

I don't look at her as a temper tantrum monster - it's just the only way I knew to explain it to someone who hasn't met her IRL - and what it must look like to strangers. She's very intense, but a bright and sweet girl. That's actually what concerns me - the switch from angel to terrified screamer is so immediate and dramatic. I'll look into the autism angle and ask her pediatrician about it. We just moved here so her pediatrician has met her a grand total of once so he doesn't really know her. Makes it a little more difficult for him.

 

My older dd is like that with sounds, too. It's why I ended up homeschooling actually.

 

The noise of a crowded classroom just about did her in. Not to mention the BEEPs on the story CD's. The teacher didn't read story books to the class; she turned on a CD and turned the pages at the BEEPs. My dd would cower in the furthest corner of the room (her hands and arms clapped over her head) during story time. No one ever thought to mention this to me, of course. I only found out about it when I accidentally showed up early to pick her up one day. And that was only preschool. (sigh)

 

Anyway... as a baby and young child, she struggled with vaccuums, hair dryers, toilet flushings, crowd-noises, lawnmowers, etc etc etc....

 

She has slowly grown out of most of it. She's 10 now, and while I don't require her to vaccuum as a chore (because her sister really loves that) she can stay in the room if there's a vaccuum running. She can handle public restrooms now, too. We usually look for non-automatic ones whenever we can. And I don't require the use of hand dryers. We just shake the water off our hands and keep on going. Or I just pull out a travel bottle of hand sanitizer and we use that instead.

 

She can ride the train to the city now, and only covers her ears when the trains actually whistle.

 

All it takes is time and patience. And the understanding that if she's really struggling, we'll leave as soon as possible. Sometimes, we simply have to be at an event, due to family obligations. Sometimes, I just tell her I understand, and that we'll leave as soon as we can. Our home is kept at peaceful decibels most of the time. She knows she can rely on her home as a place of quiet. It helps. We make regular quiet time a standard part of our day.

 

The world is loud now, but she's slowly finding her way through it. Each year, she gets a little better.

 

There are so many books on this subject, but my favorite one is The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron.

 

HTH.

 

This does help - thank you. I'll look for the book.

 

I can only imagine the fear of storytime your DD developed with those horrid BEEPs. I can't believe the school didn't tell you. I'll have to make an unannounced visit to my daughter's preschool next week and check it out.

 

We are gentle with her and don't force her if we can help it (if she's gotta go she's gotta go, but I try to find and remember the "no drying" locations). I do the same thing you do with hand washing and I've never forced her to stay in the room with the vacuum or when I'm running a loud appliance. I don't make her leave, but I do warn her and give her the opportunity to leave before I turn it on. That's made home a much safer place for her.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ds13 has outgrown it (a number of years ago) but when he was little I had to put ear protectors on him if I was going to use the blender, the vacuum etc. I remember taking him to local concerts with ear protectors on! (He could still hear the music).

 

P.S. Ds is gifted and does have some sensory problems but he definitely is not on the autistic spectrum. I say that only because I've had people insist that because he was gifted and had sensory problems he had to be on the spectrum. I've had him tested and he is not.

Edited September 24, 2010 by Jean in Newcastle

[stephanier.1765]

Not a child, but I am sensitive to sound. I recently discovered that it can be caused by a magnesium deficiency. I ran that theory by my doc and she thought it didn't sound that off the wall so she is testing me to see if I am magnesium deficient. In the mean time, I have started to take supplements. Too early to tell if it is working but I hope for some relief soon.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Not a child, but I am sensitive to sound. I recently discovered that it can be caused by a magnesium deficiency. I ran that theory by my doc and she thought it didn't sound that off the wall so she is testing me to see if I am magnesium deficient. In the mean time, I have started to take supplements. Too early to tell if it is working but I hope for some relief soon.

 

Tangent here but how is your Dr. testing you to see if you are magnesium deficient? I was told that magnesium deficiency is difficult to test for since it is stored in your tissues and not your blood.

[stephanier.1765]

Tangent here but how is your Dr. testing you to see if you are magnesium deficient? I was told that magnesium deficiency is difficult to test for since it is stored in your tissues and not your blood.

 

I had no idea but she said she was putting in an order with my other regular testing. They test my blood every 6 weeks. :tongue_smilie:

[Mom-ninja.]

There are so many books on this subject, but my favorite one is The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron.

 

HTH.

 

 

Just put this book on hold.

 

 

My ds is very sensitive to sound. He wears earplugs in order to flush the toilet. He refuses to go into any public restrooms.

 

I'm having him evaluated by an OT as he also has other sensory issues, and it is causing problems.

[Giraffe]

Just put this book on hold.

 

My ds is very sensitive to sound. He wears earplugs in order to flush the toilet. He refuses to go into any public restrooms.

 

I'm having him evaluated by an OT as he also has other sensory issues, and it is causing problems.

 

Me too. I'm glad I'm not alone with this. DD is so sweet, so smart, and so sensitive. Breaks my heart to see her terrified.

 

I also found a book about highly intuitive children while searching for the recommended book and put it on hold: "The Highly Intuitive Child" by Catherine Crawford. I think it might be useful as well - this will sound nuts to some but DD just "knows" things sometimes.

[RegularMom]

Both my dd's have that weird intuitiveness as well. And my 10yo is empathetic to an unusual degree, too. It's a little freaky sometimes, when they somehow pick up on stuff that I'm worrying over silently to myself and start talking about it as if we'd been carrying on a conversation about it all along. (sigh) I'll have to look that the Crawford book next time I'm at the library.

 

My 10yo also has clothing sensitivities. She won't wear buttons or snaps, and barely tolerates zippers. She wears yoga pants, t-shirts and hoodies mostly, but will wear dresses for unconditional occasions, if necessary. (Her first communion comes to mind: she wore a dress and there were faux buttons on the back of it and a zipper. But she wore it because it was the best we could find, and because she knew she could take it off the minute we were done taking pictures.)

 

So, we're seeing steady improvement with time, age and maturity. But she sure can make life interesting sometimes. :)

[LizzyBee]

Have an OT evalulation with someone who specializes in kids with SPD. There are some things they can do to help your dc cope better.

 

We used to take dh's ear protectors that he used on the flight line when he was in the Air Force to parades, etc. It helped some.

[Laurie4b]

I don't look at her as a temper tantrum monster - it's just the only way I knew to explain it to someone who hasn't met her IRL - and what it must look like to strangers. She's very intense, but a bright and sweet girl. That's actually what concerns me - the switch from angel to terrified screamer is so immediate and dramatic. I'll look into the autism angle and ask her pediatrician about it. We just moved here so her pediatrician has met her a grand total of once so he doesn't really know her. Makes it a little more difficult for him.

 

 

 

This does help - thank you. I'll look for the book.

 

I can only imagine the fear of storytime your DD developed with those horrid BEEPs. I can't believe the school didn't tell you. I'll have to make an unannounced visit to my daughter's preschool next week and check it out.

 

We are gentle with her and don't force her if we can help it (if she's gotta go she's gotta go, but I try to find and remember the "no drying" locations). I do the same thing you do with hand washing and I've never forced her to stay in the room with the vacuum or when I'm running a loud appliance. I don't make her leave, but I do warn her and give her the opportunity to leave before I turn it on. That's made home a much safer place for her.

 

The hand flapping in the middle of the meltdown due to oversensitivity is something to mention to your pediatrician. I would ask for a referral for an evaluation from a developmental pediatrician or a child neuropsychiatrist. Additionally, I would get a referral for occupational therapy for sensory integration issues. the OT can make a tremendous difference for a kiddo like this. The book, The Out of Sync Child is a good place to start to introduce yourself to sensory integration issues. There are very good checklists in the books. I would also ask for suggestions on the special needs board.

Edited September 24, 2010 by Laurie4b

[Giraffe]

Both my dd's have that weird intuitiveness as well. And my 10yo is empathetic to an unusual degree, too. It's a little freaky sometimes, when they somehow pick up on stuff that I'm worrying over silently to myself and start talking about it as if we'd been carrying on a conversation about it all along. (sigh) I'll have to look that the Crawford book next time I'm at the library.

 

My 10yo also has clothing sensitivities. She won't wear buttons or snaps, and barely tolerates zippers. She wears yoga pants, t-shirts and hoodies mostly, but will wear dresses for unconditional occasions, if necessary. (Her first communion comes to mind: she wore a dress and there were faux buttons on the back of it and a zipper. But she wore it because it was the best we could find, and because she knew she could take it off the minute we were done taking pictures.)

 

So, we're seeing steady improvement with time, age and maturity. But she sure can make life interesting sometimes. :)

 

Are you sure my DD and your DD aren't weirdly related?!

 

DD can only wear cotton clothing, doesn't like buttons or zippers (but will tolerate them on sweaters or other "second layer" clothing - not next to her skin). She wears yoga pants, leggings, pull up jeans without hardware, T-shirts, hoodies.

 

Her ballet tights are rayon/synthetic something and she will break out in an itch and eventual rash if we don't change her out of them soon after class.

 

Does sleeping in a tent sound familiar to anyone (seriously - a princess tent)? With music on and a small light (more than a night light).

 

I do think a sensory evaluation is in order. I never put all this together before. Wow.

[Aurelia]

 

Does sleeping in a tent sound familiar to anyone (seriously - a princess tent)? With music on and a small light (more than a night light).

 

Ariel went through a stage like that, though her tent looked like a giraffe. :laugh: In fact, she still refuses to sleep without some kind of small light on and she's now 6. She prefers music, but we no longer have to play it all night long. She has always been sensitive to sounds, and will only use automatic toilets if someone goes with her and covers up the sensors until she's done. She's getting better as time goes by, but if she's like me, she's never going to be 100% normal in this regard.

[Dandelion]

Interesting thread! My intense child is also very sensitive to sound, along with various other sensory issues.

 

He's sensitive to certain fabrics/clothes, tastes, textures, he's impervious to cold (runs out in the snow barefoot with shorts on) and has an extremely high tolerance for pain (to the point that he can be gushing blood from a huge wound and not realize it - has happened many times).

[gingersmom]

Have you been for an occupational therapy evaluation? Therapy will make your childs world a much better place.

[Laurie]

 

DD can only wear cotton clothing, doesn't like buttons or zippers (but will tolerate them on sweaters or other "second layer" clothing - not next to her skin). She wears yoga pants, leggings, pull up jeans without hardware, T-shirts, hoodies.

 

Does sleeping in a tent sound familiar to anyone (seriously - a princess tent)? With music on and a small light (more than a night light).

 

I do think a sensory evaluation is in order. I never put all this together before. Wow.

 

Finding clothes and shoes that feel right/don't irritate has been a constant challenge here. (You've listed my dd's wardrobe. And she loves hoodies...they are like portable tents for her to retreat into when she's in public places.)

[golfcartmama]

I haven't read all of the replies, so forgive me if I'm repeating information...

 

For my son, we have used (currently on a 6 wk break) Therapeutic Listening and it is AWESOME. It's a bit time consuming as they have to listen for 30 minutes 2 x per day (they can read or play games). We purchased headphones (they were $153.10 with shipping) but we were able to check the CDs out from his OT office. Now we can go to sports games, the movies, the skating rink, birthday parties, etc without him be overwhelmed and freaking out with the noise. We even are able to go to the air show!! YAY! Best money we've EVER spent, it's allowed us to be a 'regular' family (whatever that means! :lol:)

 

ETA: Read the "Out of Sync Child"....seriously great book on sensory issues, whether minor or major.

Edited September 25, 2010 by golfcartmama
book title

[Guest]

My Aspie was terrified of sudden, loud sounds as a young child; in fact, her fear of flushing toilets was one of the reasons we began to homeschool in kindergarten. Then she went through a phase of being so extremely sensitive to soft noises, like a refrigerator motor, a far-off fan, or once, when all the windows in the house were closed: a plastic bag blowing across the back yard. It freaked her out and she was beside herself until I went out and found out what was causing the noise only she could hear. Another time it was a cousin rubbing a soft cloth on a trumpet to polish it.

 

These kinds of extreme sensory sensitivities tend to peak in the early elementary years, according to what I've read, and most kids do seem to outgrow them. That said, they often accompany other sensory integration issues and/or "soft" neurological problems and at the very least merit mentioning to a pediatrician and a visit to an OT.

 

My dd, now fourteen, is uneasy with silence, which is quite ironic. She likes to have something going very quietly in the background: audiobooks, music soundtracks, or conversation. Otherwise she gets uncomfortable. She used to talk very fast, very loudly, CONTINUALLY, and I wonder now whether this was a form of protection against hearing little unidentifiable noises or fearing silence. That has become much better, and she isn't bothered at all by loud noises now.

[2squared]

Interesting thread! My intense child is also very sensitive to sound, along with various other sensory issues.

 

He's sensitive to certain fabrics/clothes, tastes, textures, he's impervious to cold (runs out in the snow barefoot with shorts on) and has an extremely high tolerance for pain (to the point that he can be gushing blood from a huge wound and not realize it - has happened many times).

 

This sounds exactly like my 6yo. He is an off-the-charts intense sensory seeker. I wish I knew other kids like him, and I bet he wishes he did too. I took him to OT for a few months this summer, and even his therapist was amazed at how intense he is.

[Jilly]

My daughter and I both have trouble tolerating any loud noises. I never realized how sensitive I was to noise, until I noticed it in my daughter. I can hardly tolerate my children when they are screaming or just playing loudly, and we just got a dog, and I am having a great deal of trouble dealing with the barking because it is so loud. I am trying to teach myself coping strategies because my gut instinct is to tell everyone to be quiet, which isn't really fair.

 

My daughter, I am afraid, will never outgrow this issue, so I am also trying to help her with the problem. Today we were out at a park and some children had balloons. They all started popping them, and one was very close to my daughter and very loud. She got so angry so quickly. That is how she reacts because she cannot handle the noise.

 

Toilets are especially stressful for her. She hardly ever uses a public restroom because they are all automatic and flush when she is not expecting it. At home she hardly ever flushes.

[Starr]

Ds outgrew most of his sound sensitivities. I used to beg people not to turn on the hand dryers in public restrooms and we vacumed at night for many years and then warned him away as he got older. We were able to handle it by keeping calm and trying to let him know ahead of time. I hope things settle down for your little one.

[Alenee]

My middle dd who is now 8yo has been as you described your dd, from birth. As an infant, we couldn't go to friends' homes because the moment we'd walk in the door, she'd scream unceasingly. As she became mobile, I could not put her down in a room to play. She screamed in the car and would stop when the car stopped. As she grew, her sensitivities changed. She's over-sensitive to noise, tickling, pain she doesn't expect, clothing. She was under-sensitive to touching that she initiated; for instance, if she saw a toy on the floor she would walk all over it to the point of breaking it and she LOVED massages; still does. Her energy level is insane at times and she used to talk louder and louder as the play increased in intensity.

 

I read The Out of Sync Child which helped us to finally understand her and had her evaluated by an OT. For us the therapy appt.'s weren't the greatest help. What they did do was cause us to stop and really think about her in a different way and how we could help her cope. Things like ear-muffs on the 4th of July and soft cotton clothing. Schedules she could count on. Warning her in advance of outings. Understanding that after a day out of the house, once in the car, she was almost certainly going to have a meltdown. And one we tried years ago that didn't work but does work now, a bowl of rice. She sifts her fingers through it and within minutes, she's calm and almost sleepy. We also cut out all processed sugar and dyes. Red dye makes her freak out for weeks on end and once she's had too much sugar in her system, she not only gets wound up, she also craves it to the point of distraction.

 

As dd has grown, her sensory issues have changed with her as well. She has a great amount of anxiety and feels inadequate for whatever task she's handed (for the most part). This past summer, we spoke with her ped. and had her start an anti-anxiety med. It has totally changed her life. I pushed against this for years and had made it clear that I was not about to put my kid on Ritalin or any other drug but after watching her anxiety mount, we realized she needed help. I asked her one day, "A, if there is a medicine that will help you, would you want to try it?" She responded almost pleadingly for us to try something.

 

I don't recommend meds based on all that's been mentioned above in pp, just that this was *our* experience and it may look similar for you down the road. They say that there isn't a medicine that can help kids with SPD but the thing about it is, SPD almost always comes with other issues like OCD or ADD or anxiety disorders, etc... Since starting her med. about 2 months ago, life has changed dramatically and she SMILES all the time now! I am so thankful for the advice of others here who didn't make me feel like a bad parent for wanting to get dd some pharmaceutical help.

 

This became long...sorry! Hope some of it might help. :)

Edited September 25, 2010 by Alenee

[Tap]

Dd 3.75 has been in weekly OT from the time she was 24mths. She has had all most all of the sensitivities that are listed here. Vacuums, bathroom fans, even the sound of the air circulation system in a large warehouse stores. She was terrified of the rain for a significant part of past year (not thunder/lightening...just the tinkle-tinkle of rain). Even things that aren't loud, like a small refrigerator can drive her to extremes.

 

One of the best things I did was buy her earmuffs like they use on the shooting range. (She has the pink kids version). She uses those by themselves when she needs too (when I am vacuuming, running the blender), if it isn't quite enough she adds ear plugs (fireworks, construction noise etc) under them.

 

I was afraid that she would start relying on them too much, but just the opposite happened. She only grabs them when she really needs them, and seems to tolerate more noise, knowing she has the control.

 

 

I am too tired tonight to type more but just know that you are not alone.

[Mom-ninja.]

Wow. I never knew there were other kids who also had fear of flushing toilets.

 

I've put those ear muffs on my wish list.

 

 

So, anyone have suggestions on how to deal with the meltdowns after being out for a day? Ds will *ALWAYS* have a meltdown after we've been out or after an event at home. Last Christmas he cried and cried and had a big time meltdown when it was time for bed. He was so wound up that he didn't know how to cope. DH and I felt awful because we had planned such a nice Christmas, the kids had enjoyed themselves, liked their gifts, dinner was good, and then the day ended with a big tantrum and tears. DH was actually angry because he felt that ds was not grateful.

 

How do you deal with these situations?

[LibraryLover]

My intense child was hyper sensitive to sound as a toddler and 'preschooler' (crying, meltdowns, avoidance behavior, perferring to stay home etc). Dc still doesn't appreciate sudden noises and does not like yelling (dc does not yell) at all. DC can even vac, although with an iPod; music is fine.

Edited September 15, 2014 by LibraryLover

[RegularMom]

We didn't have tent-sleeping issues here. But she doesn't like to sleep alone. We have the girls share a room now, because otherwise my 10 won't sleep at all, which means no one sleeps at all, and that got incredibly difficult. So, they share a room. For a few years, she was also afraid of the dark, so we had dimmer bulbs in the lamps in her room. We'd dim the lights at bedtime, and before I went to sleep, I'd dim them even more. But now, they sleep in a fully darkened room.

 

My 10yo never likes to be alone in the house or in any rooms. This made rest time very difficult for a while, but then she realized that she didn't mind being alone in a room if there was an animal of some kind with her. So, we installed fish tanks in the playroom and bedroom, and now, she says she's not "alone" and can handle it.

 

She doesn't mind being alone in the backyard, though, and can swing on the swings forever out there. That seems to be her most sensory-seeking behavior: swinging on the swingset.

 

We never got her any OT for her sensitivities. By the time her ped. in Colorado was starting to consider it, we suddenly moved across the country, and it took so long to find a new good doctor, that we seemed to have missed that boat. But she seems to be growing out of it all okay, so I try not to worry too much about it. We talk sometimes about how sensitive she is to certain things and come up with ideas and coping strategies when needed.

 

At some point, I may ask her doctor here about it. Maybe.

[sleepymommy]

Interesting thread! My intense child is also very sensitive to sound, along with various other sensory issues.

 

He's sensitive to certain fabrics/clothes, tastes, textures, he's impervious to cold (runs out in the snow barefoot with shorts on) and has an extremely high tolerance for pain (to the point that he can be gushing blood from a huge wound and not realize it - has happened many times).

 

This sounds exactly like my 6yo. He is an off-the-charts intense sensory seeker. I wish I knew other kids like him, and I bet he wishes he did too. I took him to OT for a few months this summer, and even his therapist was amazed at how intense he is.

 

 

This is my ds6 as well. I have to always let teachers at co-ops and other activities know about his high pain threshold, there were times when he would come home with a huge knot on his forehead.

 

He's in OT right now but only for once a week for just this month. We really can't afford anymore and insurance won't cover it. His therapist is great and is always giving me lots of ideas to do with him at home.

 

Unfortunately, even though his younger brother doesn't have SPD, he's a great copier. So essentially I have 2 sensory seekers, one that's naturally that way and the other that has learned all the wrong behaviors!

[ChristusG]

Just a tip for parents who have kids that don't like the automatic flush toilets.....I carry around a pad of tiny post it notes. I just stick one over the seonsor until we are finished and then I let DD exit the stall and then I uncover the sensor.

[Alenee]

Wow. I never knew there were other kids who also had fear of flushing toilets.

 

I've put those ear muffs on my wish list.

 

 

So, anyone have suggestions on how to deal with the meltdowns after being out for a day? Ds will *ALWAYS* have a meltdown after we've been out or after an event at home. Last Christmas he cried and cried and had a big time meltdown when it was time for bed. He was so wound up that he didn't know how to cope. DH and I felt awful because we had planned such a nice Christmas, the kids had enjoyed themselves, liked their gifts, dinner was good, and then the day ended with a big tantrum and tears. DH was actually angry because he felt that ds was not grateful.

 

How do you deal with these situations?

 

What usually helps him calm down? If you know these meltdowns are coming, like I mentioned happens with my dd, keep that in mind as you go about your activities and be ready to help him calm down. Things like a bowl of rice, lots of tight hugs,

 

oops, be right back

[LibraryLover]

 www.americanequestrian.com/hippotherapy.htm  ?

I think the lack of large animals and 'work' in children lives, plus lack of strenuous activity, is a contributing factor in some neuro issues, (not to mention the increase in allergies which some say is partially caused by our hyper focus on cleanliness). Taking care of a hamster or feeding fish in a tank is not quite the same as riding a horse, rounding up sheep, or milking a cow... etc. In so many ways, we humans have not caught up to modern life.

Edited September 15, 2014 by LibraryLover

[Embassy]

My boys were like that. They still are to a minor degree. They grew out of most of it though. I have super sensitive hearing too. I can hear the music my dh listens to on his headphones several rooms away.

[Jilly]

Just a tip for parents who have kids that don't like the automatic flush toilets.....I carry around a pad of tiny post it notes. I just stick one over the seonsor until we are finished and then I let DD exit the stall and then I uncover the sensor.

 

 

Thanks for the tip. I am going to get my daughter some to carry around with her. :001_smile:

[Alenee]

Okay, sorry I had to run...dh needed my computer.

 

As I was saying, it's imperative to find calming techniques and then to be prepared with them when you anticipate a meltdown. This can be difficult to figure out. We used to have dinner at a friend's house every Tuesday night and every time we'd leave, dd would start her meltdown in the car. I began picking up on it and would talk her through it before she began, noting that I knew she was tired, "So let's all be quiet and listen to some music on the drive home." This almost always worked.

 

Also, don't be mad at your dh for thinking the your son wasn't grateful. Before we realized our dd had SPD, we just thought she was a very disobedient kid in need of tough discipline. Once we started therapy, it opened our eyes to what was really going on. This brought new compassion for her. There is a companion book to The Out of Sync Child called The Out of Sync Child Has Fun and it is filled with tons of activities that are for the whole spectrum. You can typically find it at your library.

 

I think the key to all of this is being very attentive to the triggers and then thinking through what it was that finally brought calm to the child. It's NOT easy by any means, especially when you have other children to care for but if you can take deep breaths and recognize that it's extremely difficult to live in their bodies/brain, that will melt your heart for your dc and you will come up with some answers.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I second the sensory evaluation. Some kids appear to outgrow it (at least they stop the tantrums). However, many of these kids are merely "coping." They learn avoidance behaviors and can struggle in group situations because of the level of "shut down" they need to have in order to survive.

 

Please look into getting an evaluation from someone experienced with sensory issues. Many peds are clueless as to how to deal with this, thinking it is a parenting problem. My middle son was just as you described. As frustrating as it can be to us (he was nick-named "Tyrannosaurus Tom") is is doubly or triply frustrating to them. Lots of kids talking in a room can be akin to having a conversation next to a jet engine. Crinkling paper is like the sound of an avalanch. We could not get anywhere with the school - they would only put his language deficits in his IEP (which were not real, but a reflection of his inability to cope with the testing environment.) We went with a neurodevelopentalist - NACD - National Association for Child Development. It was a godsend. While my son will always be a little intense and will not choose overly noisy environments when he has a choice, he can now function in these environments without completely shutting down (which was his coping method after he outgrew the tantrums.) I didn't really understand how difficult things were for him until, after we had been doing therapies with him for a few months, we finally started to see him smile again. He is now a cheerful 14 year old who is a JOY to be around.

[dirty ethel rackham]

So, anyone have suggestions on how to deal with the meltdowns after being out for a day? Ds will *ALWAYS* have a meltdown after we've been out or after an event at home. Last Christmas he cried and cried and had a big time meltdown when it was time for bed. He was so wound up that he didn't know how to cope. DH and I felt awful because we had planned such a nice Christmas, the kids had enjoyed themselves, liked their gifts, dinner was good, and then the day ended with a big tantrum and tears. DH was actually angry because he felt that ds was not grateful.

 

How do you deal with these situations?

 

Rescue Remedy is fabulous for breaking through an emotional meltdown. Ear muffs can be good, but they don't work for kids with touch sensory issues. My son would not wear them. But seriously, these are like a rescue inhaler for an asthmatic - necessary for the moment, but not a long-term solution. Please look into sensory therapy. You will be doing your child a big favor in the long run.

[Mom-ninja.]

Rescue Remedy is fabulous for breaking through an emotional meltdown. Ear muffs can be good, but they don't work for kids with touch sensory issues. My son would not wear them. But seriously, these are like a rescue inhaler for an asthmatic - necessary for the moment, but not a long-term solution. Please look into sensory therapy. You will be doing your child a big favor in the long run.

 

Yes, I already have the script from our Dr. I'm just waiting for the OT to call me to set up the appt.

[golfcartmama]

For the meltdowns...heavy pressure helps most sensory kids according to our OT. Some kids (not mine) respond well to sitting under a bean bag or the like. My kid does wall push ups, pushes down on his head (looks like hands on head with elbows out), drink a COLD drink through a straw, chew a BIG wad of gum (peppermint works best for us), swings outside or jumps on a mini trampoline. For us, it's very important to watch how much our child can take. As I watch, I can see the pupils dilate and the skin change color slightly and know when a meltdown is coming so I can head it off with these techniques. OT has helped tremendously b/c it gives HIM and ME coping techniqes for most situations.

Edited September 26, 2010 by golfcartmama
added info

[Giraffe]

Thank you everyone for all the input and advice. It helps to know I'm not alone, that while there might be something wrong with DD, it's something that can be addressed.

 

I always thought that DD was just a normal kid, just a little quirky. With DH and me, she couldn't help it (we're not known as a cookie cutter family). Even my parents figured that was all there was to it - and we were coddling her. She's my only child and I really thought that other families dealt with the same issues behind closed doors. Recently I'd begun wondering if maybe DD was unusual, especially as it has started to escalate. I will call the doctor and start working on getting an evaluation.

 

And for the other moms dealing with this - thank you so much for sharing your experiences and coping techniques. They really help!!

[MBM]

My youngest, who is 13, has always been sensitive to sound. He is synesthetic and *sees* colors especially when he hears music. Last year I took him to a friend's ice skating party that had very loud music, and he started to break down almost immediately, crying and getting nauseous. The noise was just too overwhelming, and we had to leave. For the same reason, he doesn't like school dances. His future girlfriends will have to be content with jazz or classical music, neither of which seem to bother him.

 

Your daughter might also have something like that going on. Synesthesia is not that uncommon, and many outgrow it or learn to deal with it as they age. (My son also sees colors with certain smells. Mushroom smells are his least favorite. LOL.)

 

This thread is full of fascinating information. Good luck finding a solution!