Messy bedrooms, how do you deal with it?

[A home for their hearts]

My dc bedrooms are driving me crazy! :glare: I guess I've done a horrible job at teaching them them to put things away, clothes, toys, etc. What are your expectations for your childrens rooms and how do you follow through with them?

[EJCMom]

Well, my kids are still little -- 6, 5, and 2 -- so what I have to make sure of is that they don't have more stuff than they can realistically put away. When they accumulate a lot of toys, they tend to get really overwhelmed with the task of putting it away and just don't do it. So, I have to stay on top of keeping it all pared down.

 

Then, I have it organized with an easy system for them to follow. When we first started this system, I took them into their room and explained where everything went, and then quizzed them about where to put it away.

 

With upkeep, it was a matter of establishing a routine of when cleanup time is. We pick up the livingroom and bedrooms right before lunch and right before bed. Doing it twice a day also keeps it less overwhelming.

 

I think for kids, the bottom line is not letting them have so much stuff that they get overwhelmed, giving them clear instructions about expectations about where everything goes, and helping them to establish a routine for keeping it picked up. For me, I have to constantly remind myself that it is a learning process, and not having the unrealistic expectation that at this age they will just stay on top of it themselves.

[Gwenhwyfar]

i close the door. :D

[Melissa B]

In our home, rooms must be clean and beds made before breakfast. If a bedroom isn't clean, the child doesn't come down for breakfast. Dd12 and dd10 have to start school at a certain time, so they would miss breakfast if their rooms weren't clean. Dd6 and ds5 share a room and don't have a start time for school so they just make sure their room is clean before coming down to breakfast. If I think there is going to be too much for them to do in the morning (only talking about the 5 and 6 year olds now,) I help them pick up the room before reading stories in the evening.

Edited September 20, 2010 by Melissa B

[In The Great White North]

Mine are older, but:

 

1. Shut the door.

 

2. When he turns 18, send him to the Air Force, where someone else will have a better bribe (jets) than I ever did and he will actually make his bed, fold his clothes, etc. with a smile! :D

[Lara in Colo]

They don't get breakfast until they are dressed and there beds are made.

They don't get dinner until the room is picked up (no clothes on the floor and toys are picked up.)

They don't get movie night until the room is clean and their community chores are done.

 

Once a month I clean the rooms (this is random and they never know when its coming), I throw away stuff and I make sure everything is in the right place. During these times, I make a pile of their stuff in the middle of the room, I get a cup of tea and sit and tell them where to put the stuff. In otherwords, I teach them how to clean. It also helps that I can see what they need to keep the stuff organized. For instance I saw that the rollerblades and the knee/elbow pads needed a duffle bag, this way they are all together and easy to get when needed, they are also not all over the floor of the closet. I also use this time to get the children used to random inspections, which will happen until they move out.

 

Lara

Edited September 20, 2010 by Lara in Colo

[ChristusG]

I tell my kids when their room needs to be cleaned. I remind them a few times. Then if it still is not done, I go in there with a big box, toss everything in that's out of place, and put the box up. The toys are in jail for a set amount of time.

[mom2denj]

Help them declutter and clean the rooms really good. After that , have them take 5 to 10 min each mornig picking up their room and making thier bed, even if it isn't perfect. This has worked well for us. If you stay consistent, it will work.:)

[TKDmom]

Help them declutter and clean the rooms really good. After that , have them take 5 to 10 min each mornig picking up their room and making thier bed, even if it isn't perfect. This has worked well for us. If you stay consistent, it will work.:)

 

This is what I do. That consistency thing is HARD, though. I've also pared down the amount of stuff in their rooms.

[tonersl]

We recently started having the kids clean up their rooms each evening after dinner. We chose to have them do this chore in the evening so that the "mess" of each day's play is picked up before the new day starts and so that we can all have a place to lounge for bedtime stories in their rooms. Consistency and gentle reminders each evening are key to making this work at my house. If my husband and I are not pleased with the level of cleanliness when we check, then we make them do it over again. It has worked wonders for saving my sanity. Before we started this, I couldn't even walk across the floors of their rooms. It was crazy! Good luck. Shannon in NC

[sewpeaceful]

Mine are older, but:

 

1. Shut the door.

 

2. When he turns 18, send him to the Air Force, where someone else will have a better bribe (jets) than I ever did and he will actually make his bed, fold his clothes, etc. with a smile! :D

 

 

Lol! I love it! :lol:

[AngieW in Texas]

Everybody is supposed to clean up on Sunday afternoon. Each kid is responsible for her own bedroom and bathroom (12yo and 14yo share a bathroom). Each kid also has a common area she is responsible for.

 

Outside of Sunday, I try to just ignore what the rooms look like. My 17yo's room is a horrible disaster pit again by Monday. My other girls don't care for the clutter, so they keep their rooms pretty neat.

[DianeW88]

i close the door. :D

 

 

:iagree: Especially with my 17 yo dd's room.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

[A home for their hearts]

Seeing the clutter just drives me crazy. We have had to downsize and half lost about half of the living space that we used to have, plus have gained a sweet baby. I've always been a neat person, but when you are practically living on top of each other and everyones stuff it makes it hard to do anything. My dc own less than half of the toys that they used to have. It was out of necessity that we had to purge. We really did get rid of a lot of toys, clothes, books, etc. Right now clutter is just ruling my life. It makes it really hard for me to get past it and on with my life! lol I think I will try others suggestions of having them clean their rooms before bedtime and go from there. Thanks for all the advice!

[Laura Corin]

These days, the boys tidy up once a week. I worked on their rooms recently to make them easier to keep tidy. Now it's mostly just some clothes and maybe some lego.

 

Laura

[May]

I finally learned to pick my battles because I sure was losing that one. For my oldest, I closed the door, my youngest seems to do a better job and does a pretty good job of keeping her room clean.

[dm379]

I yell and get angry. It hasn't worked yet but I'm hoping it will if I'm consistent. :D

[lynn]

Depends on my mood.

 

Either:

A. no electronics or going out until room is clean

B. Shut the door

C. Give a 5 min warning, then bring in a garbage bag (they jump when I do this one).

D. Clean it myself and tape a bill to the door.

E. Is it time for agood fall cleaning?

 

Hope you find a solution that works for you.

[Lolosoli]

We have a playroom. So, most toys stay there.

 

My two boys share a room. They are 5 and 8. They have hot wheels, lego and a castle set in their room. For the most part I make the beds and they clean up the toys.

 

I normally see cleaning the bedrooms AND the rest of the house as a joint effort. We all work together. My teen never plays in the playroom...but, when it is time to tackle that room she helps out. She also helps the boys with their room. All of them even help out with my room. Work and helping is work and helping...it doesn't matter what, where, when or who made the mess.....it is something that requires a team effort.

 

By the time they are teenagers they pretty much handle their rooms all on their own...and it is relatively easier because they don't have "toys" anymore.

[Mrs Mungo]

We're going through our kids' rooms this week. Last night was middle dd's turn. We took *everything* out of her closet, dumped out all of her drawers, got everything out from under her bed, etc. She had 15 minutes to sort clothes into keep/donate. She was allowed to keep the amount of toys that fit in her bins. We got rid of all the junk McD's toys and such. We took out 2 kitchen-sized trash bags of clothes to donate, 1 bag of toys/stuffed animals and 4 bags (yes, 4!!) of trash.

 

In my experience they can't keep up when they have too much stuff. We tolerate a certain amount of benign messiness. Beyond a certain point? Mom and dad are going to purge your room? Don't like it? Keep your room clean.

[lighthouseacademy]

We removed ALL toys from the kids bedrooms and put them in bins inside a cabinet we bought. Then they can only get out 1 toy at a time (checkout) and it can only be done when school is done and chores are completed... Also, I will sometimes say you can join us for ____________ meal when the mess is clean. I give them PLENTY of time. Sometimes they choose to make a bigger mess and sometimes they hurry it along. As for the clothes on the girl's floor... I don't have a solution.

[GWOB]

i close the door. :D

 

:iagree: Makes life much easier.

[CalicoKat]

i close the door. :D

 

:iagree::D

[Guest janainaz]

There is a place for everything. If I walk in and it's a mess, I just ask them to pick it up when they are done - and they do. Since they were walking they learned to pick things up and to put them away.

[MamaT]

We go through the kids' rooms every summer and clean out, donate, throw away, etc. During the school year they have to have their beds made, rooms tidy, chores done, and breakfast all by a certain time when school will start. By having it picked up at least once a day, it never gets terribly out of hand.

[Pretty in Pink]

My expectations for the boys' rooms are minimal. During the week I just close the door if it gets too messy. I do ask ds12 to tidy his desk if it is too cluttered for him to work on, but that's about it during the week. Over the weekend they clean the rooms top to bottom, dust, vacuum, and change the sheets.

[rookie]

nothing happens (that they want) until the room is clean. :)

[Peela]

Baby steps.

I joined up to Flylady (2003) and I worked with my kids on 10 minute clean ups with the timer, helping them work on one part of their room (or any room) at a time...always breaking things down to doable, manageable steps. So, I would send them in to their rooms to pick up all their clothes and put them in the hamper etc.

I would go in and do their rooms WITH them, with a happy attitude, to model to them HOW to clean up a room, and to show them it can actually be FUN. I put on fun music sometimes. Doing it together really helps take the dread out of it. Using a timer makes it feel less overwhelming.

I let them know this was my journey too...let learn to keep things tidy, to pick up after myself, and to enjoy living in a tidy space. So, I really try not to belittle them for their own messiness, although we do tease my dd16 for being the family piglet- she is very messy!

For a while in the last year, dh wouldnt give them their pocket money on Monday mornings till he had done room inspection. He was much better at that than me. His high standard (born organised, son of BO mom) helpes them SEE the mess they were previously blind to.

I go into my son's room and declutter every few months. My dd16 would find that an invasion of her space, but he doesnt mind and it does help.

Giving them beautiful things for their rooms and helping them develop and sense of "room pride" has helped. Sometimes they will spontaneously spend a few hours tidying their rooms and decluttering.

SO...it has always been a journey and no, dh and I are not happy with letting them live messily all the time...but their rooms do get messy and then we ask them to clean them, or they even do it without asking at times. They both do appreciate their rooms when tidy, especially when they are having guests over, which is always a good motivation.

I really try not to make it a heavy thing- I really try to help them know its a part of life and its rewarding to have a nice space to live in. I think I am succeeding, even though they are not really tidy...they have the skills and we are developing the routines.

[mom31257]

:lurk5: