Jump to content

Menu

If one wants to go and one doesn't (cc)


Recommended Posts

If your church offers two Sunday services - one in the morning and one in the evening - and you would like to go to both, but your dh prefers going only in the morning, what would you do? (No bashing, please)!

 

Some considerations I have are these: it is a longer drive (close to an hour each way), gas is expensive, finances are challenging.

 

We used to go three times a week plus Sunday School and any special services/revivals. I think I understand why dh prefers one service a week, but . . . I miss going . . .

 

So what would you do? Go alone? Or stay home with the family (and save on gasoline, etc.)?

 

Just for clarity - we don't often do any special together-activities on Sunday afternoons anymore - varying interests plus some really heavy life situations (medical, etc.) we've had to deal with - saps your strength and energy. Afternoons/evenings are basically quiet, relaxing, maybe dh getting some work-related preparation done; or, dh/ds doing guy stuff and I think they need that time together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I can say, is I often don't want to go to sunday morning service...and I'm married to one of the staff pastors :) Dh, never makes me go...and thankfully our senior pastor abhors what he refers to as "religious addiction."

 

So, do you only go on Sunday evenings? That is what I want to do and dh thinks it would be weird. Sunday mornings are always so crowded and I don't enjoy the time. The evening services are much smaller and it seems like those there truly want to be there so I enjoy it more. I've never known anyone to skip morning services and only go in the evening so I'm curious.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, my DH is head of our household so I would honor his wishes. He isn't heavy-handed or controlling so I know he wouldn't say no without having a legitimate reason for it. And the drive and expense sounds reasonable IMHO.

 

Is there a local Bible study or small group ministry that you could do instead of attending the second service?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I can say, is I often don't want to go to sunday morning service...and I'm married to one of the staff pastors :) Dh, never makes me go...and thankfully our senior pastor abhors what he refers to as "religious addiction."

 

But the OP wants to go. (Or were you referring to the dh who doesn't want to go, so the OP shouldn't try to get him to go?)

 

 

Perhaps a compromise might be for you to go alone once a month in the evening??

 

The compromise of going once a month (or every other week) to the 2nd service is a good idea.

 

 

I think it comes down to a couple of issues:

1. What does your dh think about this? If you go will there be tension and arguing in your home? Or will he be fine with it and relax in the pm while you're at church?

 

2. If dh doesn't care either way, then you need to consider your spiritual needs. When it comes down to it, everything in this life is temporal, except for our spirits. They're eternal. Do you, personally, need this extra time set aside to tend to the spiritual side of yourself...or not?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I can say, is I often don't want to go to sunday morning service...and I'm married to one of the staff pastors :) Dh, never makes me go...and thankfully our senior pastor abhors what he refers to as "religious addiction."

:iagree: Former wife of a minister (missionary) and I too dreaded Sundays. It was a lot of work. I agree with the previous poster on gas $$$ alone makes it too expensive to call it vital to attend both services or midweek. One service should be fine. No need to force dh if he doesn't want to attend the second service. But if you call him the "priest" of the household, then you need to attend the service he wishes to attend as a sign of solidarity and obedience.

Edited by tex-mex
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest mrsjamiesouth

Is there a closer church you could attend on Sunday evenings? Where I live there is a church on every corner. You could go to "your" church as a family in the mornings and go to a closer service in the evenings alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there a local Bible study or small group ministry that you could do instead of attending the second service?

That is what I was thinking -- if the OP needs a spiritual boost or fellowship -- instead of attending both services? It sounds like her dh is happy at home Sunday evenings. She sounds like she is in need of fellowship?

Edited by tex-mex
Link to comment
Share on other sites

But the OP wants to go. (Or were you referring to the dh who doesn't want to go, so the OP shouldn't try to get him to go?)

 

 

 

 

 

I think what I was trying to say was that if she wanted to she should try to find a way to go, but he doesn't need to go with her. So, I guess...yes ;)!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, do you only go on Sunday evenings? That is what I want to do and dh thinks it would be weird. Sunday mornings are always so crowded and I don't enjoy the time. The evening services are much smaller and it seems like those there truly want to be there so I enjoy it more. I've never known anyone to skip morning services and only go in the evening so I'm curious.

 

 

If we had a service on Sun pm...that is probly when I would want to go :D. About once a month, I just don't go to church...sometimes it's more if my kids have horse shows.

 

Now that I think about it though...our sun mornings sound just like your sunday evenings. Wow! I never realized that...one of the benefits of being in a very non-controlling church is that no one comes who doesn't really want to be there. Generally speaking ;).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If your church offers two Sunday services - one in the morning and one in the evening - and you would like to go to both, but your dh prefers going only in the morning, what would you do?

 

IF my dh were okay with it, I would consider going without him at night every other week or so, but not setting that schedule into stone. If it's not an identical service to the morning one, is it something you can listen to online so you don't "miss" anything when you don't go?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But the OP wants to go. (Or were you referring to the dh who doesn't want to go, so the OP shouldn't try to get him to go?)

 

No, I don't want to try to make dh go! I would be quite content to go alone.

 

 

1. What does your dh think about this? If you go will there be tension and arguing in your home? Or will he be fine with it and relax in the pm while you're at church?

 

Relax and be fine with it.

 

2. If dh doesn't care either way, then you need to consider your spiritual needs. When it comes down to it, everything in this life is temporal, except for our spirits. They're eternal. Do you, personally, need this extra time set aside to tend to the spiritual side of yourself...or not?

 

This is part of what I have been thinking about. Church services are special times. I enjoy the worship, the preaching/teaching - all of it. One service is hardly enough for a week. OTOH, I am quite capable of doing my own reading/studying/praying. I have a hunger for more, a hunger that I've been largely ignoring in trying to deal with *life* and in trying to be sensitive to my family. Dh gives the impression that he is satisfied where he is spiritually and that is fine with me. For myself, however, I am not satisfied and want . . . more.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, I don't want to try to make dh go! I would be quite content to go alone.

 

 

 

 

Relax and be fine with it.

 

 

 

This is part of what I have been thinking about. Church services are special times. I enjoy the worship, the preaching/teaching - all of it. One service is hardly enough for a week. OTOH, I am quite capable of doing my own reading/studying/praying. I have a hunger for more, a hunger that I've been largely ignoring in trying to deal with *life* and in trying to be sensitive to my family. Dh gives the impression that he is satisfied where he is spiritually and that is fine with me. For myself, however, I am not satisfied and want . . . more.

 

If you can swing it, do it!!!! Sounds like it would be good for you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:iagree: Former wife of a minister (missionary) and I too dreaded Sundays. It was a lot of work. I agree with the previous poster on gas $$$ alone makes it too expensive to call it vital to attend both services or midweek. One service should be fine. No need to force dh if he doesn't want to attend the second service. But if you call him the "priest" of the household, then you need to attend the service he wishes to attend as a sign of solidarity and obedience.

 

Definitely NOT forcing dh to go - I would be very happy to go alone!

We ALL attend as a family on Sunday mornings and I wouldn't want to change that - nor would dh!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there a closer church you could attend on Sunday evenings? Where I live there is a church on every corner. You could go to "your" church as a family in the mornings and go to a closer service in the evenings alone.

 

There is - and isn't. Dh and I have talked about this before and agree we'd rather not . . .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If it were me, I would go.

 

We're a one income, one car family. We drive about 30 minutes to attend liturgy on Sunday mornings. On some Wednesdays there's a fellowship night and sometimes during the week there's a liturgy or vespers service. He attends on Sundays, but has no interest in attending at other times. He's fine with me going whenever it's feasible.

 

DH will ride his bike to work or I take him to work so I can have the car to go or he'll just have soup and sandwich(and Xbox) night at home alone for an evening service. Once in awhile I ask if he wants to go, the answer is almost always no. He's really happy that I've found something that means so much to me, so I go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If it's not an identical service to the morning one, is it something you can listen to online so you don't "miss" anything when you don't go?

 

No. It is a small church and our services are not put online. Sometimes the preaching is taped (as on a cassette tape) but not always. Plus, it is not just "missing" something - it is the whole *atmosphere* - that can't be readily captured on an audio tape . . . :001_smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess it depends on how much you do for yourself during the week. If you are the type to do spa days, lunches with the girls, massages, expensive coffee/beverages, shopping trips, evenings at a coffee shop/bookstore, etc....then I would consider what I could cut to make this time a priority.

 

If you don't do these things, then I say count it as 'me time' and go. Listen to some great music on the way and have a peaceful hour home to contemplate the lesson.

 

 

If you find that your husband is less than thrilled, then maybe you need to create the opportunity you need. You say there isn't a Bible study available, maybe then you need to start one. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If your church offers two Sunday services - one in the morning and one in the evening - and you would like to go to both, but your dh prefers going only in the morning, what would you do? (No bashing, please)!

 

Some considerations I have are these: it is a longer drive (close to an hour each way), gas is expensive, finances are challenging.

 

We used to go three times a week plus Sunday School and any special services/revivals. I think I understand why dh prefers one service a week, but . . . I miss going . . .

 

So what would you do? Go alone? Or stay home with the family (and save on gasoline, etc.)?

 

Just for clarity - we don't often do any special together-activities on Sunday afternoons anymore - varying interests plus some really heavy life situations (medical, etc.) we've had to deal with - saps your strength and energy. Afternoons/evenings are basically quiet, relaxing, maybe dh getting some work-related preparation done; or, dh/ds doing guy stuff and I think they need that time together.

If it does not cause tension between you and your husband than I would say go.

It sounds like your husband and son are already occupied doing guy stuff together so you being gone may not be missed during that time.

I had been going to Sunday night services with my daughter for awhile but my husband started wanting us all to go out to dinner at that time. That's OK. Church is also on Sun morn and Sat evening so we have the option to go one of those times instead.

edited to add:

I wonder if maybe there is another lady who goes to your church that may live near you that you could share a ride with on Sunday evenings so you can split the cost of gas. If gas is keeping you home maybe you can get around it that way.

Edited by Miss Sherry
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess it depends on how much you do for yourself during the week. If you are the type to do spa days, lunches with the girls, massages, expensive coffee/beverages, shopping trips, evenings at a coffee shop/bookstore, etc....then I would consider what I could cut to make this time a priority.

 

What I do for myself during the week? I carve out some reading-for-pleasure time! I am definitely NOT a spa/massages/expensive habits kind of girl! I do NOT like shopping, especially for clothes/shoes for myself - my favorite kind of shopping is for books and I either go to the library for those or get them at yard sales or thrift shops. Lunch out with the girls? What is that? On very rare occasions a friend of mine and I will go out to dinner and always her treat at her insistence. I do have other things I do for me but they are equally cheap and unobtrusive - organizing family memories (writing them up, for example), crocheting, walking, for example.

 

If you don't do these things, then I say count it as 'me time' and go. Listen to some great music on the way and have a peaceful hour home to contemplate the lesson.

 

This is exactly what I would do!:) I have a couple worship tapes in particular that dh and ds got very tired of hearing as I played them constantly when I was quite sick. I don't play them anymore because I am rarely home alone or in the vehicle alone. If I go out alone, it's generally not long enough without stopping to do some errand, so the tapes are stopped/started too much to really enjoy, so I listen to local Gospel radio - or the quiet!:D

 

 

If you find that your husband is less than thrilled, then maybe you need to create the opportunity you need. You say there isn't a Bible study available, maybe then you need to start one. :D

 

Thought of this, too. Our house is very small so a meeting here would definitely impact the rest of the household. Thought about a public meeting place - no ideas there so far. I'm not sure this is the right *season* though for me to seriously pursue this - too much on our collective plates right now with life situations.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wonder if maybe there is another lady who goes to your church that may live near you that you could share a ride with on Sunday evenings so you can split the cost of gas. If gas is keeping you home maybe you can get around it that way.

 

It is a small congregation and we are the only family who travels from our area; everyone is local - within ten or fifteen minutes, except for one couple who also travel the same distance we do, but coming from the opposite direction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I say if you want to go, go. DH doesn't want to go ever except Sunday mornings. He doesn't enjoy the fellowship time as much as I do and he needs the time to relax. I need the encouragement and I love Sunday evening worship - it is quieter, calmer, and I feel I am better prepared for the week after a good Sunday evening worship time. I go and take the kids and let dh prepare for his week with some quiet time at home.

 

So, if it's important to you, then go. Don't guilt dh and don't make it a HAVE to go situation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I need the encouragement and I love Sunday evening worship - it is quieter, calmer, and I feel I am better prepared for the week after a good Sunday evening worship time.

 

Yes!

 

So, if it's important to you, then go. Don't guilt dh and don't make it a HAVE to go situation.

 

Actually, the reverse of this would be more accurate for me - it is I who would possibly feel guilty going alone - as if I am somehow *going over* dh or *going ahead* of him. I am very aware of his role as spiritual leader; however, he doesn't seem to take it very seriously, so I tread carefully, trying to make sure he knows he's the leader. Sometimes I feel very stifled, not wanting to speak up or add to a *spiritual* conversation because I so yearn for him to step up to the plate with more boldness in leading us in this area. He would laugh at this paragraph, saying, "If you want to go, then go." Then he'd probably say something like, "I'm not stopping you" or "That's dumb; just go." And I would still feel like I did something *wrong.*

 

I have also asked a few times over the past year or so if we could resume going to Sunday School. I figured it would still be only one trip and, while it wouldn't be a church service, at least it would be *more* and we would be there as a family. Dh consistently said no so I quit asking. I do not want to drive up for Sunday School in my vehicle, only to have them come an hour later. That doesn't seem right. (By the way, my vehicle sits idle most of the time except for emergencies, necessities, and for taking ds to his oncological appointments. Even in better times, I was not a gad-about. I am actually a very frugal person. So, taking myself to church in the evening would not be using dh's gasoline up. It would probably mean at most an extra tank of gas [if I went every Sunday evening each month] for mine. I generally use about three-quarters a tank per month with medical appointments, necessities and the hopefully dwindling emergencies).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes!

 

 

 

Actually, the reverse of this would be more accurate for me - it is I who would possibly feel guilty going alone - as if I am somehow *going over* dh or *going ahead* of him. I am very aware of his role as spiritual leader; however, he doesn't seem to take it very seriously, so I tread carefully, trying to make sure he knows he's the leader. Sometimes I feel very stifled, not wanting to speak up or add to a *spiritual* conversation because I so yearn for him to step up to the plate with more boldness in leading us in this area. He would laugh at this paragraph, saying, "If you want to go, then go." Then he'd probably say something like, "I'm not stopping you" or "That's dumb; just go." And I would still feel like I did something *wrong.*

 

I have also asked a few times over the past year or so if we could resume going to Sunday School. I figured it would still be only one trip and, while it wouldn't be a church service, at least it would be *more* and we would be there as a family. Dh consistently said no so I quit asking. I do not want to drive up for Sunday School in my vehicle, only to have them come an hour later. That doesn't seem right. (By the way, my vehicle sits idle most of the time except for emergencies, necessities, and for taking ds to his oncological appointments. Even in better times, I was not a gad-about. I am actually a very frugal person. So, taking myself to church in the evening would not be using dh's gasoline up. It would probably mean at most an extra tank of gas [if I went every Sunday evening each month] for mine. I generally use about three-quarters a tank per month with medical appointments, necessities and the hopefully dwindling emergencies).

 

 

This is a hard row to hoe...so to speak :001_smile:. I used to be very much like this and so I say this with a ton of compassion!!! Do not feel guilty for going to church...unless you are somehow robbing your family of wonderful quality time together.

 

It wasn't until I took responsibility for my own spiritual life and growth...that dh's really took of as well. Even if I didn't say it, dh felt...incrediable pressure, to be the spiritual head. His personality doesn't respond to that type of motivation. He needs space to grow. Don't feel guilty!!! True spiritual growth is a beautiful loveing thing!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds to me like your family would be fine with you going, and you really want to go.

 

So, the only issue is gas $$. So, I'd look at it like you'd look at any other important, but not truly essential, activity. If you can swing the gas $$, go for it. (If you can find someone to carpool with, that'd be even better!)

 

If you can remain flexible and be willing to miss it on occasion in case there is a family thing you want to do in the evening instead, that'd be great.

 

Enjoy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I can say, is I often don't want to go to sunday morning service...and I'm married to one of the staff pastors :) Dh, never makes me go...and thankfully our senior pastor abhors what he refers to as "religious addiction."

 

My husband used to be a pastor and I would catch all kinds of nasty talk whenever I didn't go to church. How do you manage that in your congregation?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is a hard row to hoe...so to speak :001_smile:. I used to be very much like this and so I say this with a ton of compassion!!! Do not feel guilty for going to church...unless you are somehow robbing your family of wonderful quality time together.

 

It wasn't until I took responsibility for my own spiritual life and growth...that dh's really took of as well. Even if I didn't say it, dh felt...incrediable pressure, to be the spiritual head. His personality doesn't respond to that type of motivation. He needs space to grow. Don't feel guilty!!! True spiritual growth is a beautiful loveing thing!!!

 

THANK YOU!

You sound as if you understand my dilemma more fully than I am willing to post publicly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know if you ever worked outside the home or not. If you haven't, one very common expression is "a manager's job isn't to do a job, it is to make sure it gets done". Delegation is the key. So, while your husband isn't interested in going, it sounds like he is delegating your spiritual relationship with God, to you. If you want it, go get it. He isn't holding you back. He is managing the home, by giving (or delegating) you the freedom to make decisions about your own spiritual growth.

 

Think of it like this. What if, when dh sat down for dinner, you only dished him a plate the size of yours of pasta. After he cleaned his plate, he said "wow that pasta was great, any more, I'm still hungry" and you responded, "that serving was plenty for me. I don't need anymore, I am full, so you should be too. Yes, there is more, but no, you can't have anymore. I am done and so are you." Would this make sense?

 

It sounds like your dh is saying..."you want more, go get it. I don't, you do. Go if you want". Just like in the pasta example above, everyone's hunger for God is different. Some people feel full with just a little bit, some need a lot. It sounds like your dh, likes small pieces of religion at a time. You like to be surrounded by it. Neither is wrong, it is just a personality difference. With the pasta...would you only expect your dh to be satiated with the same portion as you? If he wanted more, would you tell him "No, you can't have it" ?

 

It doesn't sound like he is holding you back, you are. Like you said...you are a frugal person. Is it the money paying for the fuel bothering you? Is it the time away? If you dh was willing to accompany you, would you second guess the money?

 

If you dh works outside the home, I would guess that he has a small private life that doesn't include you. Just friends at work..nothing sinister but a little bit of a life that you are not a part of. Sometimes, it seems like my friends who are at home moms, are not used to having this, for themselves. Just a little bit of a life, that doesn't 100% revolve around their family. Just a little something for themselves, doesn't exist. It is okay for you to have a little time alone. It can make you a better wife and mother to have that time alone. It doesn't have to be something that takes away from the family, doing something for you, can actually add to the family, by filling your spiritual need.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No, I don't want to try to make dh go! I would be quite content to go alone.

 

 

 

 

Relax and be fine with it.

 

 

 

This is part of what I have been thinking about. Church services are special times. I enjoy the worship, the preaching/teaching - all of it. One service is hardly enough for a week. OTOH, I am quite capable of doing my own reading/studying/praying. I have a hunger for more, a hunger that I've been largely ignoring in trying to deal with *life* and in trying to be sensitive to my family. Dh gives the impression that he is satisfied where he is spiritually and that is fine with me. For myself, however, I am not satisfied and want . . . more.

 

It sounds like you put a high priority on corporate worship, as do I. I would go w/o my dh if that was my situation and take my dc as well. Admittedly this would be harder to do. There are times when it is tempting to do your own thing than to expend the effort to worship the Savior and it would be easier to lay low than go if you and dh aren't on the same page. But definitely go, go, go as much as you can. :001_smile:

 

ETA: I've read through the rest of the responses now and wonder what your pastor or your church's teaching on this is? If I had to choose between submitting to dh or worshipping my God my pastor/church would teach that I am to worship God. It isn't "me" time. It isn't selfish. I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for being away from dh or going above him or using up the family's gas. You sound a bit conflicted on these points and I wonder what your pastor would say if you asked him. I've not really been in a "submission above all" religious environment so I don't know what all you may be feeling.

 

I'm pretty independent and hard-headed and submitting is a struggle. I felt that our family needed to worship together every day. Our church teaches this. Dh was not going to do this. So I did it myself. I did it during the day but I felt sneaky. So I eventually started doing it in the evening so he could have the opportunity to be involved instead of automatically dismissing him (as doing it during the day did). It took him about 2 weeks to join us and another 2 to actually take some leadership. I know that him knowing our church's teaching on this prompted his involvement. If it was strictly a wild hair of my own I think we'd still be on our own. So anyway, I think a lot of this boils down to the religious teaching the two of you are both hearing on these matters.

Edited by silliness7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know if you ever worked outside the home or not. If you haven't, one very common expression is "a manager's job isn't to do a job, it is to make sure it gets done". Delegation is the key. So, while your husband isn't interested in going, it sounds like he is delegating your spiritual relationship with God, to you. If you want it, go get it. He isn't holding you back. He is managing the home, by giving (or delegating) you the freedom to make decisions about your own spiritual growth.

 

Think of it like this. What if, when dh sat down for dinner, you only dished him a plate the size of yours of pasta. After he cleaned his plate, he said "wow that pasta was great, any more, I'm still hungry" and you responded, "that serving was plenty for me. I don't need anymore, I am full, so you should be too. Yes, there is more, but no, you can't have anymore. I am done and so are you." Would this make sense?

 

It sounds like your dh is saying..."you want more, go get it. I don't, you do. Go if you want". Just like in the pasta example above, everyone's hunger for God is different. Some people feel full with just a little bit, some need a lot. It sounds like your dh, likes small pieces of religion at a time. You like to be surrounded by it. Neither is wrong, it is just a personality difference. With the pasta...would you only expect your dh to be satiated with the same portion as you? If he wanted more, would you tell him "No, you can't have it" ?

 

It doesn't sound like he is holding you back, you are. Like you said...you are a frugal person. Is it the money paying for the fuel bothering you? Is it the time away? If you dh was willing to accompany you, would you second guess the money?

 

If you dh works outside the home, I would guess that he has a small private life that doesn't include you. Just friends at work..nothing sinister but a little bit of a life that you are not a part of. Sometimes, it seems like my friends who are at home moms, are not used to having this, for themselves. Just a little bit of a life, that doesn't 100% revolve around their family. Just a little something for themselves, doesn't exist. It is okay for you to have a little time alone. It can make you a better wife and mother to have that time alone. It doesn't have to be something that takes away from the family, doing something for you, can actually add to the family, by filling your spiritual need.

 

Your analogy makes total sense! I did work outside the home previously, so I also understand what you are saying there. I truly miss that job - I loved what I did - and would really like to work outside the home again. Now is not the time, however - too much detail and too personal to go into publicly - but dh and I are on the same page with this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like you put a high priority on corporate worship, as do I. I would go w/o my dh if that was my situation and take my dc as well. Admittedly this would be harder to do. There are times when it is tempting to do your own thing than to expend the effort to worship the Savior and it would be easier to lay low than go if you and dh aren't on the same page. But definitely go, go, go as much as you can. :001_smile:

 

Yes - laying low in spiritual areas is what I've been doing - good way to say it.

 

ETA: I've read through the rest of the responses now and wonder what your pastor or your church's teaching on this is? If I had to choose between submitting to dh or worshipping my God my pastor/church would teach that I am to worship God. It isn't "me" time. It isn't selfish. I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for being away from dh or going above him or using up the family's gas. You sound a bit conflicted on these points and I wonder what your pastor would say if you asked him. I've not really been in a "submission above all" religious environment so I don't know what all you may be feeling.

 

I think our pastor would approve of my coming alone - and I think he would privately in his own prayer time step up praying that dh would come. He is definitely one who espouses the husband being the head, but not the "submit above all" philosophy. As long as dh was okay with it, the preacher would be okay with it.

 

I'm pretty independent and hard-headed and submitting is a struggle. I felt that our family needed to worship together every day. Our church teaches this. Dh was not going to do this. So I did it myself. I did it during the day but I felt sneaky. So I eventually started doing it in the evening so he could have the opportunity to be involved instead of automatically dismissing him (as doing it during the day did). It took him about 2 weeks to join us and another 2 to actually take some leadership. I know that him knowing our church's teaching on this prompted his involvement. If it was strictly a wild hair of my own I think we'd still be on our own. So anyway, I think a lot of this boils down to the religious teaching the two of you are both hearing on these matters.

 

Count your blessings! I, too, did this. Previously, dh had to travel some in his job so it was easier to take up this responsibility myself. When he was home, we continued with it - and he would not join us. Adamantly refused to join us. (We did morning and evening and I made morning part of school, thinking dh would more likely participate under that venue). In the beginning, I had asked if he would do this when he was home - I didn't want him feeling excluded, or his role usurped, etc. He would not. Ds prevailed upon him for weeks (I had taught him that his daddy was the leader of our home), and finally he relented - but he rushed everything, got upset at us (ds was very young at the time and had just learned to read and we were reading KJV, plus he had oodles of questions as well as very insightful comments which I referred to his dad; in fact, during the week, I would tell him that's an excellent question that you should ask daddy when he gets home because he will be able to answer you very well - this even though I often knew the answer - I so wanted dh to be part of ds' spiritual *training*) - anyway, the long and short of it is that dh stopped the family devotion times and it was a losing struggle to resume them without him. Very sad. But I keep hoping . . . nothing is impossible with God.:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...