Need help keeping my 6 yo motivated

[BusyMommy]

My 6-ds has been struggling all year long with 'school' time. I have tried rewards, punishments, threats to be sent to 'regular' school while his siblings continue at home. Nothing is working. I thought he would out groe it and settle into a groove like my others, but he still fights it. Some days are better than others, but yesterday was a really bad one and it sucks the energy out of me trying to get him motivated to finish everyday.

[nmoira]

My 6-ds has been struggling all year long with 'school' time. I have tried rewards, punishments, threats to be sent to 'regular' school while his siblings continue at home. Nothing is working.

This doesn't sound pleasant for anyone.

 

What are you trying to accomplish this year?

[Sue G in PA]

:D Honestly, this IS my ds6! We got through December with relatively few problems but then all of a sudden...he refused to do any schoolwork. We tried punishments, threats, rewards, treats, M&M's for each problem solved, etc. Nothing worked. Nothing. Finally, we just gave up and let him go on his little "academic strike". This was back in February. After about a month "off", we started back w/ ONE subject each day...his choice. We also switched math programs from Saxon to MUS. The one thing we didn't give up was reading...he read/reads EVERY day. He likes to read, though, so this isn't an issue. My advice? Take a break. Play some games. Let him run around and enjoy spring. Is there anything that he really enjoys that can be considered educational? Nature study? Maybe start a Nature Journal together. Snuggle together and read some great books. Play with pattern blocks. Make some neat crafts together (bird feeder, bird house, plant a garden, make a rain guage and measure rainfall, make a sundial and talk about how they used it to tell time back before clocks, etc.). Raise some caterpillars and watch them turn to butterflies, get a hold of some tadpoles and watch them turn to frogs. Fun stuff! Put away the workbooks and test. I found that the more stressed out I got over my ds6's refusal to do school, the worse it was. Giving up was the best thing for us.

 

Ds6 also knows that once the baby comes (any day), he is back to regular school time...math, reading, language, writing, etc. We have brand new programs (MUS, LLATL) and plan to do FIAR w/ ds5 and ds6 over the summer. New programs, new attitude...I hope! Don't stress...he's only 6. Taking a break would be more difficult to swallow with a 10yo, but a 6yo? No worries! HTH

[Leila]

That is true, my son is 8 y/o now, and when he was 6 ,he did this too. Throw a hissy fit in order for him not to do school. I tried everything too...punishment,being grounded from tv, rewards,name it , it just didn't work. So finally, I was so exhausted trying, that I gave up and gave him a break from school for a while. After about 2 weeks, I guess he missed doing school work that he himself told me if he can do his math. One subject at a time, we went back to normal schedule again. I think is just a phase. Just like adults, we need breaks from routine stuff we do. Don't worry too much about it. He's still very young.

Have a great day!!!

 

Leila

[BusyMommy]

Thanks for your support. I have also tried to take a break, two weeks at a time. Then come back to it, he'll have a few good days, and he reverts to his school strike again.

I know he is still young and really my main focus this year is getting math, reading, and writing done. I have even tried to lighten his load thinking that I might be pushing him too hard, but on his good days he can breeze through his work without a problem. So by cutting back I feel like I'm giving in to what he wants, which is not do school. I am hoping he does snap out of this phase by next year. I'm glad to know others have made it through this phase.

[Sue G in PA]

. So by cutting back I feel like I'm giving in to what he wants, which is not do school.

 

I felt the same way, at first. But, the stress of fighting him everyday was making me grumpy and exhausting me. I couldn't deal with that AND being pregnant AND trying to teach my older 3 AND chasing a toddler AND try to start some sort of schoolword w/ ds5. So...it was a choice. I let him "win", but as I said...we set some boundaries. Reading was NOT an option...he had to read each day or be read to. He HAD to play some sort of educational game whether it be Leapster or a computer game or board game, etc. There was no TV watching during school time (9-3). Instead of thinking of it as him winning...think of it as a new way of doing school! Your just not doing the traditional workbook schoolwork...it's more like "life" school work! KWIM?

[stephanie]

My 6-ds has been struggling all year long with 'school' time. I have tried rewards, punishments, threats to be sent to 'regular' school while his siblings continue at home. Nothing is working. I thought he would out groe it and settle into a groove like my others, but he still fights it. Some days are better than others, but yesterday was a really bad one and it sucks the energy out of me trying to get him motivated to finish everyday.

 

Sounds like my house sometimes. I just started a rewards "program" with multi-colored stones. I bought them in a bag at Wal-mart. Each stone (color) represents something of currency to them. The yellow is 15 min. of electronics, the blue is a coke, the green is 15 min. free time ASAP, the orange is the whopper of 1 hour electronics (to be used after school is done, and is rarely given out), and the red is 15 min. past normal bedtime. This has been one of the only things I have found that really motivate them. Of course there are rules with it. For ex., no hoarding of stones. They can only cash 2 yellow ones in at a time so they can't exceed 30 min. of electronics unless they get the 1 hour one. When they get ready and start their work well, then they get a stone. By the end of a day, most have earned a yellow token, a free time one, but not too many. I don't want the novelty to wear off. We've been doing it for 1 month now, and it's still working. This is just an idea. I think taking some time off would be great too. I did that for dd6 b/c she all of a sudden didn't know 1 letter in the alphabet. After the break she was reading better than before! HTH a bit!

[Audrey]

I know he is still young and really my main focus this year is getting math, reading, and writing done. I have even tried to lighten his load thinking that I might be pushing him too hard, but on his good days he can breeze through his work without a problem. So by cutting back I feel like I'm giving in to what he wants, which is not do school. I am hoping he does snap out of this phase by next year. I'm glad to know others have made it through this phase.

 

I dealt with this with my ds. He's 8 now and still needs help focusing and staying on task, but he went through that stage like your ds when he was 6, too.

 

I wouldn't recommend to take a week or two off entirely. That is, like you said, "giving in to what he wants, which is not do school." In my experience, totally taking off from the routine of "school" didn't do my ds any favours. It just made the return to the routine that much more frustrating for both of us. It's as if he dug his heels in even harder after a break.

 

Instead, perhaps think of only doing "school" 3 days a week, and on those 3 days you work on the basics -- reading, handwriting, math. On the other 2 school days, don't do "school work." Instead, read to him. Good literature, any non-fiction in a topic that interests him. Don't require him to write about it, or even narrate it, instead engage him in a bit of conversation about what you're reading. That gets him to think about what you're reading, but in a non-pressure way. You'll probably be surprised at how much he will actually learn! :001_smile:

[BusyMommy]

Thank you all for the great tips and encouragement. Of course today he is having a good day, so the school work is being done with ease. I know I just need the strength to get through this phase, and hopefully he will fall in with the rest of my kids.