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The Middle Wife.... a show and tell story from a second grade teacher

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I usually hate to open forwarded emails but I did read this one and it was SO cute! I thought some of you might find it as cute and hilarious as I did!...



The 'Middle Wife' by a 2nd grade Teacher.




> I have been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids

> myself, but the bestbirth story I know is the one I saw in my own

> second grade classroom a few years back.


> When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few

> sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and

> usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,

> model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I

> never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they

> want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they are welcome.


> Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing

> kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a

> pillow stuffed under her sweater.


> She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother

> and I am going to tell you about his birthday.'


> 'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love and then Dad

> put a seed in my Mom's stomach and Luke grew in there. He ate for

> nine months through an umbrella cord.'


> She is standing there with her hands on the pillow and I am trying

> not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are

> watching her in amazement.


> 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going 'Oh,

> Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She

> walked around the house for, like an hour 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this

> kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)


> 'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she does

> not have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to

> lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back

> against the wall.)


> 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in

> case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the

> bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little

> hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)


> 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,

> breathe. They started counting but never even got past ten then all

> of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff

> that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so

> there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the

> middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'


> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her

> seat. I am sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it is

> show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another

> 'Middle Wife' comes along.

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