Chris in VA Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Ds is not motivated to even finish this first semester of CC. He is using drugs again, and is saving $ to move out--my heart hurts, but I can't save him. He is calling his time in treatment a waste of his life and of our money. I think he's forgotten every lesson he learned. Addiction is a powerful thing. Not one--not ONE--of the boys he went thru treatment with are still sober. Some have stopped using some of what they were before, but all continue with pot and drinking. Anyway, he's lost his motivation to go to college--he admits it's probably due to several factors, one of which is the pot smoking. We could use prayers, as usual, but I guess I just wanted to say I won't be commenting on his college experience for a while. Other son doing well academically--but still floundering a bit b/c of the Aspergers. I want to run away! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Chris.... I am so very sorry for you all. What a hard time for you, I'm sure. I know comparisons with my lousy life as a teen won't help you feel better but really, God knows what's going on and He who began a good work will complete it. Have faith that his life can change. I join you in praying. Sometimes we get kids who just have to learn the very, very hard way. Praying that you are filled with peace that passes understanding and that you are able, no matter what to remain faithful in a loving and righteous God. He loves your son more than you do. Stephanie also in Va, also with a hard to reach adolescent :) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsintheGarden Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I'm so, so sorry. :grouphug: Your family will continue to be in my prayers. GardenMom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 :grouphug:I'm so sorry Chris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 :grouphug: and praying. -crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 HUGS to you, Chris. I will continue to wish for the best for you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Hi Chris, I am not dealing with the same issues as you but still with a lot of disappointment about the way my oldest is choosing. May I recommend a book- The Power of Praying for Adult Children by Stormie O'Martin. I have just started reading it and it already has comforted me. I will pray for you and your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 Chris, I'm sending my wishes that your son will be able to overcome his challenges. I'm also sending positive thoughts and sympathy for you and the rest of your family as you go through this difficult time. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 I'm so sorry. I was so hoping to hear a different outcome. Still this is far from the end of the story. Here's hope that moving out will lead to a new start and strength in case it takes a while. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 :grouphug: Praying for you, for him, and for your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saille Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 :grouphug: So sorry this is happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug: Praying for you. There's only so much responsibility we can take. At some point, they make their own choices and choose the course of their lives. My nephew is in a similar boat and MANY people (family and otherwise) tried to help, but it's his life. Take care. You're not alone. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug: Praying for you. There's only so much responsibility we can take. At some point, they make their own choices and choose the course of their lives. My nephew is in a similar boat and MANY people (family and otherwise) tried to help, but it's his life. Take care. You're not alone. :grouphug: No, Chris, you are not alone. After battling anorexia and years of counseling, my niece has started using drugs. She's 18 and on her own and there is not much anyone can do for her. At this point in her life, she is making her own choices. It's hard for those who love her to watch. I'm so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Sending prayers your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted September 16, 2010 Share Posted September 16, 2010 Chris :grouphug::grouphug: If it helps, my father is a recovering addict (20 years clean and sober now!) and he says that most people fall after their first time in treatment, but the real gift is that it plants seeds and they then *know* there's a better way. He went through treatment once, got back on the stuff, and then one day a year or so later decided for himself to go into treatment again. He's been clean a long time now. My brother is also a recovering addict who went to treatment, went back on the junk, then straightened himself out a while later. He's been doing well for about two years now -- good job, stable life, being a father to his kids again. I will hold the vision of peace and healing for all of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted September 17, 2010 Author Share Posted September 17, 2010 Thanks all, Melanie, ds went thru 4 treatment programs. What we have found is that, if the parents do not change, there is little hope for the kids. Kids go back into nearly the same environment, or SEEK the same environment (and you can find drugs EVERYWHERE--and people who do them, too--even if you don't do public school), and there is very little that can be done to control it. We did make changes, but some things just aren't healing. I wish we could do more therapy--ds won't go for it. Hugs to all who have made this journey, may have to in the future, or know someone who is on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofgals Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 I'm so sorry. I've watched a couple of families struggle with this, one of them who are close relatives. It sounds like you have provided him with help, but he isn't yet ready to take responsibility for his own recovery. I can only imagine the agony of having to let go and watch your child free-fall towards his/her own destruction. :( May God open your son's eyes to see the truth about his choices and his value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 :grouphug: Praying for you today, Friend!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julpost Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. I was HORRIBLE as a kid and teen! BUT God is faithful and it is absolutely amazing to look back and see how he worked out all the bad things for the good and eventually I was saved from it all. I truly believe praying adults had a part to play in it. So, as I need to remember to do for my own son, which is a story all of it's own, I will pray for you and I encourage you to continue to pray and to trust the Lord will work it out. Prayers are mighty indeed. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 :grouphug: Hoping for a shiny new beginning for your entire family, very soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 I'm so sorry, Chris. I really think this could happen to anyone. Good luck coping. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Chris.... I know comparisons with my lousy life as a teen won't help you feel better but really, God knows what's going on and He who began a good work will complete it. Have faith that his life can change. I join you in praying. Sometimes we get kids who just have to learn the very, very hard way. Praying that you are filled with peace that passes understanding and that you are able, no matter what to remain faithful in a loving and righteous God. He loves your son more than you do. Stephanie also in Va, also with a hard to reach adolescent :) :grouphug: :iagree: See me? I'm here. Have been there, done that and made it to the other side. God doesn't give up easily. I'll be praying and faithing hard for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Don't lose hope. I have seen amazing things happen in troubled young men's lives whose mothers never stopped praying for them and never stopped loving them.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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