Are your boys circ'd?

[lionfamily1999]

I didn't "turn it into a debate." My first response in this thread was merely an answer to the question. Both of my other posts have been specifically responding to another poster who did not just answer the question, but suggested that people who did not circumcise their children were failing to take into account anecdotes about boys who needed circumcisions later in life and then posted again making the same point. I apologize if my comments were off-topic, but I'm not the one who started the tangent.

It seems to me they used the anecdotes to explain why they had decided to have their sons circ'ed.

[kokotg]

It seems to me they used the anecdotes to explain why they had decided to have their sons circ'ed.

 

okay. Then I posted the stats about Finland to explain why I chose not to. But the OP specifically said she wasn't looking for reasons WHY people made their decisions, which is why I didn't post mine in my first post. Just feeling a bit persecuted for being singled out, as I don't think I've ever in my life been accused of being the person who turns a thread into a debate. But, again, I do apologize for my role in prolonging the debate; I should have started a new thread if I felt so compelled.

 

OP--incidentally, in your first post you said that you didn't have your sons circumcised and in your last one you said that you did. Just a head's up that you have a typo in one place or the other.

[AMDG]

Two boys, both circ.

 

For us, it wasn't an issue at all. We did the research, and I had a subscription to Mothering Magazine, but we still went ahead and did it.

 

No issues, no regrets.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

One boy, still intact. No issues at all. In fact, he is nearly 6 now and most of the time I completely forget about the state of his penis!

[Carrie12345]

One boy, still intact. No issues at all. In fact, he is nearly 6 now and most of the time I completely forget about the state of his penis!

 

I refuse to think about my oldest's penis, which is funny, b/c I'm often asked if it's "weird" to have one of each (or youngest not like Daddy, or other similarly odd questions) when the topic comes up.

While the 3yo does spend some time nekkid (still working on the finer points of potty training), everyone else generally wears pants 'round here!

[lionfamily1999]

okay. Then I posted the stats about Finland to explain why I chose not to. But the OP specifically said she wasn't looking for reasons WHY people made their decisions, which is why I didn't post mine in my first post. Just feeling a bit persecuted for being singled out, as I don't think I've ever in my life been accused of being the person who turns a thread into a debate. But, again, I do apologize for my role in prolonging the debate; I should have started a new thread if I felt so compelled.

 

OP--incidentally, in your first post you said that you didn't have your sons circumcised and in your last one you said that you did. Just a head's up that you have a typo in one place or the other.

:lol: I love the internet. It's the only place that so much confusion over intent and tone can cause big arguments.

 

No worries. I posted something like 'no regrets,' but that was because I saw how many people included one line reasons, most likely the posts you answered did the same.

 

*THE DEBATE'S BEEN CALLED OFF, AS YOU WERE*

 

:gnorsi:

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:This was meant to be a light hearted, joking post... incase my tone wasn't clear ;)

 

 

[kokotg]

:lol: I love the internet. It's the only place that so much confusion over intent and tone can cause big arguments.

 

No worries. I posted something like 'no regrets,' but that was because I saw how many people included one line reasons, most likely the posts you answered did the same.

 

*THE DEBATE'S BEEN CALLED OFF, AS YOU WERE*

 

:gnorsi:

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:This was meant to be a light hearted, joking post... incase my tone wasn't clear ;)

 

 

 

Smilies are always very helpful in conveying tone, so I got it :D:D:D:D

[Rosie_0801]

There would have had to be a serious medical reason for dh or I to agree to circ our boy. My brother was because my father was. My mother's brother was for medical reasons when he was about 7, I think. I don't know why my grandmother decided to tell me that. :001_huh: It was before I even started dating. Marek wasn't even a twinkle in anyone's eye at that stage!

 

Rosie

[Joanne]

To answer the question: I have 2 boys, both circ'd. Huge regrets. For the first, I didn't know any better. For the second, I had done COPIOUS amounts of research. My xh wanted him circ'd, didn't care to read or hear any of the research. Due to the dynamic of that marriage, I took my infant baby boy in to get circ'd and xh wasn't there or a part of it. :001_huh:

 

Quote:

Yes. My sister didn't circ her first and he had many problems. He was circ'd at the age of 5 and that was a bad experience for everyone involved.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dottieanna29

My only son is circ'd. No problems, issues, infections or regrets. It was important to DH since there have been 3 men/boys in his family who had to get it done as teenager or adult.

Quote:

First son circ'd at 3 after multiple/repeat infections...

Quote:

First DS was circ'd (dh's choice) but at 10mos had to be re-circ'd under anesthesia. Apparently he was an innie and regardless of the meticulous care (and prescribed steroidal creams), he had multiple adhestions -repeatedly.

 

2nd DS was not circ'd for obvious reasons. We'll see what happens with him. At almost 5 he's not retracting much at all so may have to have some intervention as well.

 

I always find it interesting to come across these stories. When reading all the intact stuff and trying to make an informed decision, I noticed that often this stuff is really, really downplayed. Our four boys are circumcised mostly due to hubs preference. I gave them tylenol before and 24 hrs after and nursed them right after and then whenever they wanted. All is well. No regrets.

 

The thing I keep in mind when reading stories about boys who needed to be circumcised later is that pretty much every such story I read is about boys in the US. I suspect an American urologist's opinion about when a boys "needs" to be circ'd is much different from a European doctor's. Obviously, I wasn't there and don't have all the information about any particular case, so I'm not presuming to second guess any of the stories related here, but I'd be very interested to see stats comparing how many boys have circumcisions for medical issues past infancy in the US versus in countries where circumcision is very rare. I've heard about boys who "needed" to be circ'd because they weren't retracting at age 5 or 6 or 10 or whatever (completely normal) or because they got a UTI (the treatment for a UTI is antibiotics, not circumcision).

 

 

I know we've been reminded that you didn't intend to have a debate. However, it is a message board and discussions happen.

 

What I've observed and seen in research is that in a non-routine-circ culture, circumcision as a medical remedy is unheard of. I suspect most of these cases were not true needs to be circ'ed but instead that the medical community failed to value and treat intact men. Yes, circumcision as an older child or adult is painful, risky and traumatic. But I don't have confidence in the medical "need" to have it done in the first place. I think the above is an example of medical norms grown in a culture of circumcision as normative.

 

Even *now*, medical professionals give wrong information about the care of the intact penis.

[Guest janainaz]

Both of my boys were circumcised. But my ds5.5 had Chordee (which required a more complicated circumcision and actual surgery with anesthesia). Dh did not want to do it, but I did. I just felt everyone should match, so that there was no odd man out in the family. But I was terrified of having him put under for something cosmetic. We did end up doing it, and I am glad we did. Dh said it did not matter either way, but I just didn't want it to be an issue at all later on.

[Homemaker]

My one son is. They just put a little ring on it after birth, no big deal at all and no regrets. Most boys are circumcised in this area of the us. I have changed a bunch of diapers and only seen one uncircumcised boy.

[AnneGabe]

b

Edited September 6, 2023 by AnneGabe
privacy

[Impish]

Yup, done here.

 

With Tazzie, I left it completely up to Wolf. I figured he knew more about male genitals than I do :lol: He insisted Tazzie be done, so he is.

 

If we ever had another, they'd be done too.

[DawnM]

My 3rd boy was adopted at age 2.5. At age 3 we considered it because he was going to have hand surgery. We took him to the Urologist and it was a very good thing we did! We found out he needed a chordee repair and wouldn't have caught it this early if we hadn't been looking into circ.

 

 

Dawn

 

DS - yes. DS is adopted and had to have surgery for a wrist impairment when he came home. Circumcision was done at the same time. He was 3. No complications and the pain (which my DH said had to be excruciating) was never a factor. We would not have had surgery just for a circumcision.

[creekland]

Yep, all three of ours are. No regrets and no problems. I've changed quite a few diapers too and only seen 2 boys that weren't.

[scmama]

WOW! Great post! I have always wondered this as well. My oldest is, my youngest, now 4, is not! A few months after the youngest was born, I was in the ER with my sister, and there was a nurse there that had a huge button on her scrubs. It had the line through the Circ word. I asked her about it, and she said with all the new studies coming out, it really didn't matter either way! I was kinda relieved after that! My mother told me I was making a huge mistake by not getting the youngest done! No problems with either boy, so no regrets on either, as well! :)

[Corraleno]

No circ here. Didn't circ my girls, either. No regrets, no issues, no infections, no problems.

 

Ditto. And DH (who is circ'd) was totally in agreement.

 

Jackie

[qfbrenda]

All the men and future men in my house are intact.

[Mrs Mungo]

Our son is intact. eta: He's 9 and has never had any problems. He was born in Germany at a German hospital where it is considered sort of barbaric unless it is medically necessary.

Edited September 12, 2010 by Mrs Mungo

[Spy Car]

Circumcised. Not a close call.

 

Bill

[mom31257]

My ds is. Honestly, I had know idea people didn't do it. I guess he is fine because we don't know of any problems.

 

I do wish that I had know about the Jewish tradition of waiting until day 8. I later heard that if you wait until that day it is a lot less painful. I don't know if it is true, though.

[Sparkle]

2 boys, both circ'd. I didn't have strong feelings one way or the other, but dh did. Since he's the guy, I let him decide :)

[StaceyinLA]

While pg for ds, I talked to all the women I knew who had uncirc'd spouses, and even a couple of men who were open to discussion. NONE had ever had issues being uncirc'd and NONE were sorry they weren't.

 

I also knew at least 2 different people at that time that had terribly botched circumcisions (my nephew, and a close friend of dh).

 

I had also done plenty of research and knew a lot of families that were choosing not to circ.

 

In addition, I figured I chose home birth to avoid unnecessary interventions during my birth - why would I carry my son to a dr's office and allow one to be performed on him (and with no pain meds). I also thought if God had intended for him to have no foreskin, he would've been born without one.

 

Fast forward to ds being about 13 and having an issue because a couple of his close friends ARE and made comments about it. We talked about it, discussed the procedure, discussed my reasons for not having chosen it for him at birth, etc. I told him I would support him if he decided he wanted it.

 

We talked to his dr (who didn't circ his son), and ds decided that he was happy the way he was and he was gonna stay that way!

 

I guess, too, I always figured he could always be circled if that became important to him, but it could never be undone.

 

So... Intact here and happy.

Edited September 12, 2010 by StaceyinLA
Trying to change CIRCLED to CIRCED and my iPad won't let me scroll there!!!

[ktgrok]

no circing here. no regrets. i felt even better about that decision after reading recently that just as many babies die from circ complications as from SIDs.

[Delighted3]

The youngest of my 3 boys is not circumcised. We couldn't get it done at birth because of a medical issue and didn't get it done later because, at that point, it would have required surgery. We haven't had any issues either way.

Joy

[Spy Car]

Nevermind

Edited September 12, 2010 by Spy Car

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Dh is Jewish, so it was rather important for him to have the boys circumcised. Also, for them to be converted to Judaism, since I'm not Jewish, they would need to be circumcised. We had a traditional bris for each son. The bris was handled by a top notch mohel and it was done so quickly, I don't think the babies really knew what was happening. They both only cried for a few seconds, and then I got to hold them and they were fine.

 

Also, they numbed the area first, and then they give the baby a little wine to suck on from a cloth, so older was sucking it down like there was no tomorrow! The rabbi kept dipping it in more wine and letting him suck on it! I think my baby was drunk!

[mommaduck]

3 boys: partial with complications until he got older, complete, and un-circ'd.

 

The first was my insistence of a circ with a dr that was anti-circ and not informing me that he was going to do only a partial with NO NUMBING AGENT WHATSOEVER. I cannot tell you how traumatised my baby was. He was 6mos old (they refused to circ till then) and he was what they called "trauma comatose" (slept constantly only waking from crying...memories of the event disturbing him in his sleep) for 2 days straight. He wouldn't let anyone touch him except me. Anyone else set him off screaming hysterically. He dealt with regular infections through early childhood regardless of keeping the area clean.

 

The second, I made sure the dr was on my side, did a full circ, and did it soon after birth. No problems, but wish I knew then what I know now.

 

Third son, homebirthed, had learned more about circ-ing, etc. Un-circ'd and no problems.

[kathkath]

2 sons, both circed

the first ended up needing a revision at around 15mo and had an adhesion fixed at that time bc he was under. We did it at the same time as the ENT did tubes so it wasn't any extra issue.

 

In some ways I would rather not have had them circed, but something that impacted my decision was the fact that when my sister started having tea with her intact dh, she had quite a few infections for awhile. Her previous experiences had been with circed men and she had not had that problem. Her sons are not circed though as she thinks it's barbaric.

 

When my dd was in the NICU for 10 weeks, the circs were done next door to the pumping room so we could hear it happen on almost a daily basis. The babies were more upset about being strapped than anything. In some ways that made it seem less painful to us.

 

If I had to do it all over again I think it would be a harder decision. It's hard enough to get boys to clean under their fingernails.

[AMDG]

In some ways I would rather not have had them circed, but something that impacted my decision was the fact that when my sister started having tea with her intact dh, she had quite a few infections for awhile. Her previous experiences had been with circed men and she had not had that problem.

QUOTE]

 

I've heard this too. I'm not passionate about the issue either way, but the doctors in my family have shared this same information with us.

[HS Mom in NC]

None of my male relatives on my mother's side are circ'd and neither are their sons. We wouldn't have circ'd our three if they had been boys. Our ped. doesn't recommend it.

[lllll]

..

[MamaJo]

Two sons. Both were at birth. No regrets.

 

 

What she said.

[jujsky]

No, he's not. He came to us that way (adopted at 6 moths) but we weren't planning to circumcise anyway.

[guateangel]

DS was adopted at 12 months from Vietnam and is not circumcised. His doctor advised us to have him circumcised when he is 4. Not happening - OUCH!

 

If I had a biological son, he would, more than likely, be circumcised (dh choice.)

 

Odd, but dh was born in VN and IS circumcized.

[Mert]

Ds was circed on day 8. Nothing went wrong, but I wish we had gone with the gentler method of using a mohel.

[Retired]

Really? Neither myself, DH, or any of my family who have been to college have ever been required to submit health records of any kind, including vac records - all they want to know is if we're insured or not, and if not, they "lovingly" sign you up for the school's health insurance. The only time I would think that they'd need such info is if you're a member of a sports team or if you're studying abroad.

 

required for nursing school:D

 

 

all guys circum. in my family, never a problem, and really didn't know people had such strong feeling, it seems to be a very important subject to homeschool moms. I have to say as a nurse in the southeast I see most under 50 circum. and the older men intact. I don't work pediatrics so don't know the trend with the under 16.

Edited September 12, 2010 by Cafelattee

[Hypatia.]

Both of my sons are intact, the "tradition" of circumcision stopped at that generation in our families.

[Spy Car]

There were lots of different costs/risks for circumcision, and the only benefit found for was a decrease in the infections in the circumcised persons sexual partner.

 

That is a pretty big benefit since in the case of spreading HPV or HIV it can be a life vs death difference to that partner. No small thing.

 

That's not the ONLY benefit, btw, not by a long-shot, but it is not one to be underestimated.

 

A male can always decide to be circumcised as a adult. But it's very difficult to reverse the procedure. Mind you some males due try cause they are very unhappy being circumcised.

 

A male can be circumcised as an adult, but at that point it is no longer the simple procedure it is at birth, and the benefits of growing up through adolescence without a foreskin are lost. It is a very bad move to wait if one is to be circumcised eventually.

 

As to some males being "very unhappy" being circumcised I've never met any man, ever, who is unhappy that he was circumcised. Where the few friends I've had who were not circumcised were the "very unhappy" ones, and the only males I've ever known to have UTIs.

 

Bill

[Spy Car]

no circing here. no regrets. i felt even better about that decision after reading recently that just as many babies die from circ complications as from SIDs.

 

I'm not sure where you read this, but it is simply not true.

 

Bill

[snipsnsnailsx5]

That is a pretty big benefit since in the case of spreading HPV or HIV it can be a life vs death difference to that partner. No small thing.

 

That's not the ONLY benefit, btw, not by a long-shot, but it is not one to be underestimated.

 

 

 

A male can be circumcised as an adult, but at that point it is no longer the simple procedure it is at birth, and the benefits of growing up through adolescence without a foreskin are lost. It is a very bad move to wait if one is to be circumcised eventually.

 

As to some males being "very unhappy" being circumcised I've never met any man, ever, who is unhappy that he was circumcised. Where the few friends I've had who were not circumcised were the "very unhappy" ones, and the only males I've ever known to have UTIs.

 

Bill

 

Several doctors I've talked to - OB's, pediatricians, and a urologist have never said that there is serious enough medical reasons that circumcision must be done routinely. Although I know there are many more doctors out there who would say otherwise, it just depends on you talk to I guess.

 

I do know that my husband, who is circ'ed, DOES in fact regret it. It probably has to do with him having to get two circumcisions as an infant because the first one wasn't done correctly. Then he ended up getting a nasty infection from the second circumcision, and too much skin was taken off during the second circ. Finally, he has lifelong issues still to this day that bother him relating to the circ.

I left the decision up to him still, and he is definitely anti-circ. In his opinion, its unnecessary. Rather, God made our bodies in His image and perfect as they are.

 

Its our job to just teach our sons to properly care for themselves and wash well enough-just as you would with a daughter-to avoid infections. Again, that's his stance on it, and I tend to agree. However, I also leave it up to my husband to decide since he is the expert on penis'. lol

Five boys later...never had a problem yet.

[Jilly]

2 boys, both circ'd. I didn't have strong feelings one way or the other, but dh did. Since he's the guy, I let him decide :)

 

:iagree: I could have written the same post. In my case though, it wasn't just my husband who had strong feelings, my four brothers did too, and they all shared those feelings with me.

[Spy Car]

Several doctors I've talked to - OB's, pediatricians, and a urologist have never said that there is serious enough medical reasons that circumcision must be done routinely. Although I know there are many more doctors out there who would say otherwise, it just depends on you talk to I guess.

 

It's not that it "must" be done. But there are numerous benefits to doing so, and that include not putting a male's future sex partners (or himself) at increased risk of illness or death.

 

And the medical establishment, including the WHO, is coming back around to good science after years of caving to ideological pressures.

 

I do know that my husband, who is circ'ed, DOES in fact regret it. It probably has to do with him having to get two circumcisions as an infant because the first one wasn't done correctly. Then he ended up getting a nasty infection from the second circumcision, and too much skin was taken off during the second circ. Finally, he has lifelong issues still to this day that bother him relating to the circ.

I left the decision up to him still, and he is definitely anti-circ. In his opinion, its unnecessary.

 

I'm sorry you husband had a bad experience. There are incompetent doctors as there incompetent dentists. But we don't stop filling cavities because a few people had bad dentists. I've never known of any friends or acquaintances who have had problems themselves or with children--while the few who haven't circumcised their children have had the infection and adhesion and retraction issues.

 

Rather, God made our bodies in His image and perfect as they are.

 

Of course God, in the Christian bible stories, had his son circumcised.

 

Its our job to just teach our sons to properly care for themselves and wash well enough-just as you would with a daughter-to avoid infections. Again, that's his stance on it, and I tend to agree. However, I also leave it up to my husband to decide since he is the expert on penis'. lol

Five boys later...never had a problem yet.

 

You can't wash it if it doesn't retract. And if you force the retraction you can cause all sort of trouble. Uncircumcised men are generally just not as clean. And you can't simply wash away viruses like HPV and HIV which find the mucous membranes of the foreskin the perfect entry for the infection and spread of disease.

 

Bill

Edited September 12, 2010 by Spy Car

[sagira]

In some ways I would rather not have had them circed, but something that impacted my decision was the fact that when my sister started having tea with her intact dh, she had quite a few infections for awhile. Her previous experiences had been with circed men and she had not had that problem. Her sons are not circed though as she thinks it's barbaric.

.

 

I had quite a few urinary tract infections soon after I got married. My dh is circumcised.

[Melissa in Australia]

4 boys no!

I live in a country where it is really done. I have 5 brothers ( aged between 23-34), none of them have been done.

[Catherine]

I don't know about deaths related to infant circumcision, but one of the reasons we decided against it was a conversation with a friend who is a pedi urologist. He of course sees all of the complications and was full of horror stories. Not exactly an unbiased opinion-oh well!

[akmommy]

1 son- intact and no issues.

 

We had planned to have it done for no other reason than that is just what is done, but after talking to his Dr. we just never bothered. She would not do it until he was at least a week old so we took the time to learn a little more.

 

I think as it becomes more and more common in the US we will see less and less problems. The problems come from doctors telling moms to retract and clean it as infant. THis is bad info because it just introduces bacteria to the area. You are supposed to just leave it alone. That's what we do and we've had zero problems. I don't view it as barbaric, just unnecessary.

:iagree:

The cleaning part scared me quite a bit so it was recieving this info that really helped change my mind. It's his penis and if he wants anything cut off of it thats his decision. If he were to come to me at 14 or older, after researching the topic, with a well thought out argument for why he wants to have it done I will take him to have it done.

[Ester Maria]

I do wish that I had know about the Jewish tradition of waiting until day 8. I later heard that if you wait until that day it is a lot less painful. I don't know if it is true, though.

The traditional reasons have nothing to do with science, but later they did find out that the amount of the vitamin K (important for blood clotting) is on 110% the normal on the eight day, so yes, if you're to circumcise, the eight day is a good choice.

[hsmamainva]

2 boys .. no circ .. no problems :)

[ktgrok]

I'm not sure where you read this, but it is simply not true.

 

Bill

 

http://www.examiner.com/family-health-in-washington-dc/new-study-estimates-neonatal-circumcision-death-rate-higher-than-suffocation-and-auto-accidents

 

My son is 11, so it didn't effect my decision. The study may be flawe, I haven't looked at it. I have looked at the studies saying circuncision lowers rates of HIV and I find those flawed. I decided condoms made more sense than genital surgery.

 

And saying intact men are less clean is just not true. The penis is no more dirty than a vagina, neither needs special cleaning.