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It's hopeless. Yes, I will be up until all hours of the night. There will be no sleeping. Why? Because I cannot ask friends (I have a friend and her 3yr old coming tomorrow night) to stay in the complete and utter filth (yes filth - think "Hoarders" episode style) that I have been asking my eldest child to clean for over a week. There is no longer enough time and *I* will end up doing it.

 

Just need to cry, because I'm so overwhelmed it's not even funny.

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Absolutely, do not do her job of sorting, organizing and cleaning. Box or bag everything up. Toss it all in the garage or attic and allow your child to reclaim it one bag at a time. When all of that is put away properly, they can have the next bag.

 

That is such a good idea. I have children's rooms right now that are an epic disaster and we want to move furniture in there this weekend. I think this is how I will handle it.

 

ETA: Good luck. I feel your pain.

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Absolutely, do not do her job of sorting, organizing and cleaning. Box or bag everything up. Toss it all in the garage or attic and allow your child to reclaim it one bag at a time. When all of that is put away properly, they can have the next bag.

 

:iagree: And "bill" her for the time. Every hour you spend, she has to do kitchen clean up or yard work.

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black garbage bags are your friend.

rubber gloves

good music

something that smells good

 

You CAN do it!

 

:iagree:

 

My dad did this to my younger sister once. He threw everything into black bags and stuck it in the garage. If she wanted it, she had to go get it from the bags in the garage (this included clothing), then put it away or it didn't come back into the house.

 

End of story. She pulled what matted out, and it was clean... for a time anyway. I think she thought he was brilliant, after she enjoyed a moment of life in a cleaner room. :)

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It's hopeless. Yes, I will be up until all hours of the night. There will be no sleeping. Why? Because I cannot ask friends (I have a friend and her 3yr old coming tomorrow night) to stay in the complete and utter filth (yes filth - think "Hoarders" episode style) that I have been asking my eldest child to clean for over a week. There is no longer enough time and *I* will end up doing it.

 

Just need to cry, because I'm so overwhelmed it's not even funny.

 

I really feel for you.

 

However, if it is bad as you say, I can't imagine a 10 yo having the skills & stamina to handle a task like this. Hoarders are hoarders for a reason...and they often need professional help to overcome it.

 

I'd cancel my playdate and do some hard work with my child.

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Can't cancel....friend is flying in from CA.

 

I have a 10 year old and he doesn't have the skills to clean up that kind of messy room. Once you get it cleaned hit reset on the whole situation and teach her how to KEEP it clean and insist it is neat and orderly before she goes to sleep every night.

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I have a 10 year old and he doesn't have the skills to clean up that kind of messy room. Once you get it cleaned hit reset on the whole situation and teach her how to KEEP it clean and insist it is neat and orderly before she goes to sleep every night.

 

Oy...we've been through that soooo many times. Removed all un-necessary items, micro-organized what's left, labeled, made lists, taken pictures.....you name it. The only thing we probably don't do as good as we should at is checking it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. We do check it 2-3 times a week though.

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Oy...we've been through that soooo many times. Removed all un-necessary items, micro-organized what's left, labeled, made lists, taken pictures.....you name it. The only thing we probably don't do as good as we should at is checking it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. We do check it 2-3 times a week though.

 

What if you do something like having a rule such as:

 

"Brush your teeth, check your room."

 

or "Eat a meal, check your room."

 

It must be awful for everyone involved...but 10 is young, IMO. She still needs a guiding hand and good example.

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I have one naturally messy kid who never sees the stuff on the floor. I go into her room and inspect it every other day. The two of us will tidy it up together sometimes; other times she does it all. She always misses something and I will ask her to get it. It sounds a little harsh, but I can't handle the giant mess; it stresses me out too much. So if she does a little bit every other day then we can keep it under control. Luckily she is just the only one.:grouphug::grouphug:

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Well....I warned her earlier today that if *I* had to clean it.....it was all going away. I didn't explain. She got a good portion done, but didn't finish. I told her she was allowed to continue cleaning while I was bagging, but if something wasn't put away when I got to it, it went in the bag. I ended up with 2 black garbage bags full. For as bad as it was....not too shabby. She will earn them back....and will pay me back tomorrow in time doing "my" cleaning.

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This doesn't help your situation but I just had to post this.

 

My dd7 has a very hard time keeping her room clean...she starts playing and just doesn't see it getting overwhelmingly messy until it is too late. So, one day last year I had had a very bad day and she was being very stubborn. I asked her to pick up 20 items and put them away. She balled, whined, whimpered...Uugh. I pulled out the box of big black trash bags and told her that if she didn't go pick up atleast 20 items within the next 15 minutes I was going to go up and put everything that was out of place into those bags and she would have to go with me to drop them off at GoodWill. She went upstairs and 5 minutes later came back down and said, "Okay, so you are telling me that if I don't pick up my stuff YOU will pick it all up?" I nodded. She added, "Well, I'm just so upset that I suppose that is the way it will have to be. I'll miss my toys but at least I won't have to clean up that mess."

 

I'm ashamed to say I caved...big time. We ate a bowl of ice-cream together and then we went up and cleaned her room together. Sometimes I wish she wasn't so dang cute.:glare:

 

Hope your visit goes well and that your dc gains a better appreciation of a clean room eventually. :grouphug:

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This doesn't help your situation but I just had to post this.

 

My dd7 has a very hard time keeping her room clean...she starts playing and just doesn't see it getting overwhelmingly messy until it is too late. So, one day last year I had had a very bad day and she was being very stubborn. I asked her to pick up 20 items and put them away. She balled, whined, whimpered...Uugh. I pulled out the box of big black trash bags and told her that if she didn't go pick up atleast 20 items within the next 15 minutes I was going to go up and put everything that was out of place into those bags and she would have to go with me to drop them off at GoodWill. She went upstairs and 5 minutes later came back down and said, "Okay, so you are telling me that if I don't pick up my stuff YOU will pick it all up?" I nodded. She added, "Well, I'm just so upset that I suppose that is the way it will have to be. I'll miss my toys but at least I won't have to clean up that mess."

 

I'm ashamed to say I caved...big time. We ate a bowl of ice-cream together and then we went up and cleaned her room together. Sometimes I wish she wasn't so dang cute.:glare:

 

Hope your visit goes well and that your dc gains a better appreciation of a clean room eventually. :grouphug:

 

Right, and in many ways I think they try to tell us; "I have too much stuff; it's not managable for me!"

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Right, and in many ways I think they try to tell us; "I have too much stuff; it's not managable for me!"

I think this is so true. As we have been cleaning out/donating all the extra stuff - books, toys, clothes, and so on- from my ds10's room, he is much better able to clean it himself and maintain it. ANd the items left behind are really being used and played with.

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Oh, it's definitely true, however we had already gone through and eliminated the majority of her stuff. She really only has 1 toy, some movies, and a book shelf in her room. It's the garbage and CLOTHES that she dumps everywhere. Along with guinea pig bedding, markers from upstairs, paper, etc...... She never puts anything away, or throws away any garbage. EVERYTHING gets just dropped on the floor or her bed. She usually has a random assortment of things IN her bed with her when she's sleeping.

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, "Okay, so you are telling me that if I don't pick up my stuff YOU will pick it all up?" I nodded. She added, "Well, I'm just so upset that I suppose that is the way it will have to be. I'll miss my toys but at least I won't have to clean up that mess."

 

I'm ashamed to say I caved...big time. We ate a bowl of ice-cream together and then we went up and cleaned her room together. Sometimes I wish she wasn't so dang cute.:glare:

 

This EXACT thing has happened with my ds and me. He is 10 now and better....but I couldn't believe he rather his stuff be taken away than have to clean it.

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Oh, it's definitely true, however we had already gone through and eliminated the majority of her stuff. She really only has 1 toy, some movies, and a book shelf in her room. It's the garbage and CLOTHES that she dumps everywhere. Along with guinea pig bedding, markers from upstairs, paper, etc...... She never puts anything away, or throws away any garbage. EVERYTHING gets just dropped on the floor or her bed. She usually has a random assortment of things IN her bed with her when she's sleeping.

My dd was the same way. Even after we emptied her room out, she could manage to turn it into a disaster area.

 

She's better now, but it's still an issue. What has really helped is that I've told her I won't come to her rescue if she can't find something important. If she can't find her pom costume or dance shoes, too bad. She'll just have to miss a performance, and be the one to deal with the wrath of the coach.

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