Expectations of a 9th Grader

[TXMary2]

What do you expect from your 9th Grader? My 14 yo ds is on week 3 of high school. If it isn't science related he puts in a minimum effort. I am feeling frustrated with him because (don't we all say this?) he is bright and smart and I have seen what he is capable of when the subject matter interests him. However, if it isn't science related he blows through assignments and barely puts in an effort. He gets irritated with anything that doesn't come easy to him. I realize this is a character issue and we have discussed it and addressed it ad nauseum!

 

 

He has very specific career goals and knows what he wants, BUT he hasn't seemed to accept that there are other requirements he may not like, that he has to accomplish to reach his goal. Is this a boy thing or being 14? Will this pass? My oldest son is 19 and he knew what he wanted to and set out to do it. He is in his chosen career field, living on his own and as far as I can tell being a responsible individual.

 

So, the expectations I have of ds 14 that he is not fully cooperating on are:

 

 

• Answering questions in complete sentences
  
• Filing completed work and work in progress in appropriate places so they don't get lost
  
• Putting a name, date and assignment title on his work -practice for the future! Colleges will toss his work if he doesn't id himself! He has had this problem with co-op before and I want it to end.
  
• Reading instructions fully and rechecking work to be sure he followed instructions - I feel like this one he should have mastered long ago but here we are still dealing with it
  

 

[FaithManor]

One of the big rules that we have at our house and seems to me a lot to teens is, "If you cannot be responsible to complete your assignments and meet our expectations, then clearly you are not responsible enough to learn to drive let alone use one of our vehicles. Additionally, if you continue in this level of immaturity, other privileges will be restricted commensurate to the mental age level you exhibit."

 

This usually sets them straight...other privileges lost - internet, youth group social activities, go-cart, fishing at uncle's bass and blue gill pond, computer games, wii, and even favorite foods. Ds gave me so much attitude one day that he had to eat peanut butter while we had pizza from our favorite pizzaria. He didn't do it again. Of course, this only worked because he is a PIZZA eating machine. LOL

 

Faith

[glass breaker]

We seem to have the same 14 year old. :001_smile:

My son is in 8th grade this year but I feel like I am continually reminding him to date pages and put his name on things. He also loves science and has little to no interest in anything else. Assigning anything that takes effort is like pulling teeth and I feel like I am the only one doing any work!

 

I am stressed out (majorly!) about Math this year and am even considering putting him back in school next year for high school.

 

Maybe it's the age? (I certainly hope so.)

[In The Great White North]

So, the expectations I have of ds 14 that he is not fully cooperating on are:

 

 

• Answering questions in complete sentences

• Filing completed work and work in progress in appropriate places so they don't get lost

• Putting a name, date and assignment title on his work -practice for the future! Colleges will toss his work if he doesn't id himself! He has had this problem with co-op before and I want it to end.

• Reading instructions fully and rechecking work to be sure he followed instructions - I feel like this one he should have mastered long ago but here we are still dealing with it

 

 

 

I suspect there are 14 yo's all over the country that have problems with these.

[regentrude]

It may be the age, but I would guess it's primarily a boy thing.

 

My 8th or 9th grader (we are not sure yet what we'll call this year) is a girl. We have none of those problems - her homework and reading notes are much neater that those of many of my college students.

[Anna]

One of the big rules that we have at our house and seems to me a lot to teens is, "If you cannot be responsible to complete your assignments and meet our expectations, then clearly you are not responsible enough to learn to drive let alone use one of our vehicles. Additionally, if you continue in this level of immaturity, other privileges will be restricted commensurate to the mental age level you exhibit."

 

:iagree: Our reasoning for being that strict-- We used their high school years as training grounds for college. Just as we set a standard for their high school academics, we also required them to exhibit a certain level of organizational skills because in college, the two go hand in hand. You don't want to wait until 12th grade to begin working on this.

[Cedarmom]

Those are very reasonable expectations. And I think it is also typical of boys this age to have to be reminded of them. I'd decide before hand what the consequence would be ( do paper all over, drop a grade, extra work) and then do it. The only expectation I might drop is the name on paper. I understand the importance, but to your son it seems like busy work. Chances are with that one he'll remember in college.

[Phoatogirl]

Dropping a grade may not be a motivator, if they don't much care about school work to begin with.

[TXMary2]

I forgot I posted this. LOL Thank you for the feedback. He has improved slightly, but complaining about having to answer questions in full sentences or in some circumstances, essay style. He'll just have to get over it. I told him these next four years will be about preparing him for college and that the answer to his question "Why do I need to do/know this?" is "You need to do/know this because it is what will be expected of you in college. Consider it practice." :tongue_smilie: