Is your family supportive?

[MellowYellow]

How does your family feel about you homeschooling your children?

 

Was anyone's against it at first, but now completely supportive?

 

We just started homeschooling and my family is completely against it.They think I am crazy for even considering it. My husbands family thinks it is great and loves the idea.

 

In the end I know all that matters is what we decide as parents, but it would still be nice if my family was open to the idea and supportive of what we choose to do.

[kwickimom]

My in-laws are totally against it, but they are against everything we do and there opinion means NOTHING to us about anything. We rarely talk to them.

 

My parents are not for it, but they are supportive. They believe the Bible says we need to go out into the world to spread the word of God and that means putting your children in school. They do not make negative comments and would help in any way possible though.

 

I have a few friends that are totally for it. it would be nice if everyone supported me, but whatever. I am used to doing things all on my own :D

Edited September 7, 2010 by kwickimom
typo

[Jennifer in MI]

My ILs were initially against it. VERY against it. They worked VERY hard to send their kids to the best private high schools and colleges believing that was the reason for their success as adults. They prize education. So, when we told them we were homeschooling, they were absolutely against it. But, instead of having conversations with us about it, they were sneaky and talked to the kids about how much they'd love school. They took them to school playgrounds and told them they'd LOVE it when they could come out and play with their friends every day. They talked with other relatives and had them talk to dh and me about the advantages of "real" school. It put a real strain on our relationship. I kept them updated on our school. They saw videos, pictures, papers, etc. Gradually, they've come around. My oldest took his first community college class at 14 (just turned 14!) and got a 100% and a letter from the dean of the college congratulating him. They now see that what I'm doing is actually working. It's taken 10 years though.

 

Give them time. They'll see the fruits. Send them information on what you're doing. We set up a YouTube channel. They got to see my kids learning to read, learning to write, memorizing the Egyptian Pharaohs, reenacting ancient battles with Legos, etc. You get the idea.

 

Now, my husband's brother is homeschooling their two kids too! :lol: I think they're having a MUCH easier time of it than we did!

[LauraGB]

Honestly, we didn't really bounce it off any of our family members; it was a decision dh and I came to after a couple years of serious consideration. I don't think anyone in our family thinks it is a "good" idea to homeschool, but mostly because so many relatives have kids the same age in ps or they put their own kids in ps and I think they feel that we feel their choice was less than optimal (which we really don't think - everyone makes different choices and that's fine w/us). So, presently, they show their support by keeping their opinions to themselves...most of the time.

[Tap]

I haven't had anyone say a negative word. I don't think my mil really got it at first, but we started when ds was in 5th grade. By then it was obvious that he was an 'old soul'. It was like he was born an mature adult. Elementary school just never seemed to fit his needs.

 

My family knew a very successful home school family growing up, so it wasn't a foreign idea to them.

[Dmmetler]

My parents are very supportive. Since they coordinate the JSHS and ISEF preliminaries in their area, they've seen a LOT of successful homeschooled students, so I'm sure that plays into it. It also doesn't hurt any that my father regularly runs REUs with some of the girls from the Mary Baldwin PEG program, many of which were homeschooled prior to entering college.

 

My SIL has had enough hassles with the school system over her girls that I think she's to some degree a frustrated homeschooler herself-or at least, her questions are leading that way. I can't see BIL ever going for it, though. My brother doesn't have children, and except his comment that "Oh, Shelley is homeschooled too!" (Shelley being his Jack Russell Terrier), isn't a problem.

 

DH's grandfather, who I was most worried about objecting (he was a strong advocate of public education, and, given that he'd come from little country schools to being the sort of titan of industry that college business schools are named after, he had some support for his status quo ideals) died last year. I'm sorry to say that I mostly felt relieved.

[texasmama]

My family is supportive. Dh's family is not. They know better than to make a fuss to me about it, though.:tongue_smilie:

[4kiddies]

My mother and father are VERY against it, to the point of telling me regularly that I am ruining my children's lives. My husbands family however, doesn't say anything negative about it at all. I think they probably feel it's strange but not there business.

[LazyDazy]

My parents are dead so I don't have input from them. The rest of my family is used to my "odd ideas" about raising our kids. At this point none of them bother to comment for the most part. My hubby's family is much more vocal about not supporting hsing. My mil has even said that she isn't against hsing for everyone, she just doesn't think I can do it! My fil seems to be more on the fence about it. The good news is that my hubby and I agree and that is all that really matters for us.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My older brother and his wife paved the way for homeschooling in my family-of-origin so my family was pretty supportive or at least not negative.

 

My ILs on the other hand were quite upset. They are first generation immigrants who see education as the way to the American dream. And now this dil was stepping in to take the American dream away from their grandkids. But both dh and I were quietly firm and set boundaries on the topic. We did have some of the sneak attacks on ds of the "when will your mom let you go to real school" variety but we set boundaries there too. Over time, they have mellowed considerably as they've seen that our kids can hold a conversation with others, do have friends, can hold their own and then some in academics etc.

 

I am, however, having a resurgence of concern from both sets of grandparents now that high school is coming up for ds. But I just listen, nod and refuse to engage. I have addressed a couple of issues that my dad esp. had and he seems to have subsided for the moment. I don't mind explaining things to them because their concern is borne out of love for us and our children. But I will not explain things over and over, justify them, put up with them trying to bully us etc.

[Gooblink]

My ILs were initially against it. VERY against it. They worked VERY hard to send their kids to the best private high schools and colleges believing that was the reason for their success as adults. They prize education. So, when we told them we were homeschooling, they were absolutely against it. But, instead of having conversations with us about it, they were sneaky and talked to the kids about how much they'd love school. They took them to school playgrounds and told them they'd LOVE it when they could come out and play with their friends every day. They talked with other relatives and had them talk to dh and me about the advantages of "real" school. It put a real strain on our relationship. I kept them updated on our school. They saw videos, pictures, papers, etc. Gradually, they've come around. My oldest took his first community college class at 14 (just turned 14!) and got a 100% and a letter from the dean of the college congratulating him. They now see that what I'm doing is actually working. It's taken 10 years though.

 

Give them time. They'll see the fruits. Send them information on what you're doing. We set up a YouTube channel. They got to see my kids learning to read, learning to write, memorizing the Egyptian Pharaohs, reenacting ancient battles with Legos, etc. You get the idea.

 

Now, my husband's brother is homeschooling their two kids too! :lol: I think they're having a MUCH easier time of it than we did!

 

That's really neat!

[Gooblink]

Apart from the occassional sideways glance, our families don't have much to say about it.

 

I do get to hear how proud my mother is about how well my niece and nephew are doing "in school." :)

[smrtmama]

My folks have been very supportive. My MIL is apparently only supportive if she approves of my curricula choices. My brother and his fiance and my BIL and SIL have both been really supportive of it, too.

[Tess in the Burbs]

we had decided to try it when the kids were just babies. So my mom knew it was something I wanted to do. She has said nice things over the years about the positives but never anything about my own kids. She never asks about schooling and got mad when I didn't email her about testing :001_huh:

 

The inlaws never ask or speak about it.

 

My dad flat out thinks the kids are in a bubble. He's the reason I have the "Caution:unsocialized homeschoolers on board" on my car :-) But with church, sports, and hs groups my kids are fine.

 

I wish they would ask more about their schooling. I wish they would say SOMETHING.....at this point even negative would be nice. Just acknowledge we do it :lol:

[May]

I guess that's the advantage of not living near any family. What my dh's family thought I didn't know and didn't care. If they said anything to dh, he knew better then to tell me:001_smile: His nephew did make some comment about dd missing field trips:eek: as we were traveling across county for the 2nd time. I let him have it with both barrels and that was the end of the conversation. With my family, they never made any comments for or against.

[holdoll]

My side of the family is silent. That translates to they do not approve. Luckily, I couldn't care less! :001_smile:

 

Dh's side were most offended and let us know about it. Luckily, I couldn't less about that either! :001_smile:

 

Now that dd's have grown and dh's side sees that they are not ruined or weird, and in fact, pretty smart - they are our biggest proponents.

 

My side is still silent.

[ScoutTN]

My family is supportive, though not totally clued in yet. But they are interested and can be convinced. Education is a big deal in my family and they love us enough to really listen, to read and to observe carefully. They are honest enough to say that they really don't have any first hand knowledge of HS and that their preconceptions may be inaccurate.

 

DH's family are not supportive - of anything we do. We don't waste our time and energy trying to educate or convince them. They are pleasant and not critical (at least in ways our kids can pick up on yet) when we are with them, so we make small talk and avoid subjects where we disagree.

[Joyofsixreboot]

The whole family on both sides thinks we're crazy but they are adult enough not to say so to us or the kids.

[cjbeach]

ILs... no.

BIL (very gifted, horrible school experience) overwhelmingly FOR it.

SIL thought I was flake for having a natural birth, was grossed out (her words) by BFing and thinks I'm ready for denim jumper with the whole homeschooling thing. Teachers in the family - for it (YAY! Score one from the teachers!)

My Dad and Aunt think it's cool. Aunt did HS her foster kids.

 

My ILs keep giving using the dreaded "S" word. Yawn. Meanwhile they haven't seen my kids in 3 years. t takes 5 minutes of interraction to understands my kids have no issues socializing. (Getting them to STOP talking... now that's a whole other issue:tongue_smilie:.)

[Dobela]

My parents really encouraged me to homeschool. They still buy any curriculum I want for ds which we find to be a big blessing. My dh's family thinks we are odd and questions it, but they live 2000 miles away and have almost no contact so we just ignore it. I do have some exended family that doesn't approve, but they don't say too much.

[Hedgehog]

I could do a BIG post here.. but you'd all be asleep ;)

 

FIL died some years ago. MIL decidedly positive; she HS'd dh for some of his school years and loves the fact that we HS.

 

My family are another matter. Supportive with some back-stabbing.. if that makes sense? My Dad is a (retired) high school Science teacher, and my Mum is an elementary school administrator in what is actually a very good small school. They like to be a bit involved and do ask the kids what they've been learning, which is nice. My Mum is apt to "just mention" how lovely her school is and how they would never have any social problems there because the teachers "always deal with it so well". Hmmm. Maybe. My sisters are not supportive and I hear a lot about how wonderful their kids' schools are, how many opportunities they get and what nice friends they have in their classes; therefore, my kids would be so much happier in school etc. etc. etc. bleagh! :ack2: I even got told that they thought HSing was a good idea.. but only if you did properly :001_huh: and if you knew my sis you'd know "properly" meant "her way or no way!"

 

It doesn't make any difference to our decision though! :D

Edited September 7, 2010 by Hedgehog

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

I have support all around. I am very lucky.

 

For a while, I thought DH's Granny (a retired high school English teacher) didn't approve because despite knowing they were going to be homeschooled, she kept asking them when they were going to school. According to my MIL, it was a memory issue, not disapproval. :lol: Anyway, one day she sent me a check to buy the old McGuffey readers because she thought they would be handy for teaching the kids to read. I don't actually use them but they are on my shelf and serve as a reminder of her supportive gesture.

[mmasmommy]

My SIL paved the way for me with my In-Laws. They are fairly supportive. They do ask to occasional frustrating question but all in all they mean well.

 

My Mom on the other hand is not happy about it but she's not the kind of person that will come out and say that. She asks me questions from time to time but they always have the "when are they going back to school" slant to them.

 

Our parents collectively are the reason I started my blog. I needed them to see that we are actually learning and socializing, not that I pulled them out of school to make them my slave labor and keep them locked away from society Cinderella style. :001_tt2:

[ZeldaRules]

The only person I had to convince was my husband. My MIL was very supportive and said she considered it with her youngest (who is 16 years younger than my DH) when the school wanted to put him on ridalin. My mom and dad have never said anything bad. My mom said I went to school for the right thing (I started out with Elementary Ed)...ended up with Social Work.

 

So I'm using some of my education. LOL!

 

As long as my husband sees results, he is fine with it, but he still has his reservations some days.

 

I always feel for those that don't have full support from the extended family. People don't understand what they don't know. Once you figure that out, it will help you ignore their ignorance. :)

[Classical Country Mama]

Get this--my mother, who is an angel but VERY protective of the grandkids (she constantly offers "advice" on how to raise our kids, whom she only refers to as her grandchildren, as in, "Is my granddaughter warm enough?" or "Did my grandson get enough to eat today?")--has a problem with my sister for sending her girls to PS (an excellent Spanish immersion program) and thinks she should homeschool; I homeschool, and my mother worries aloud and often about socialization and what dd is missing.

 

I guess the good thing is she disapproves of me and my sister equally. :lol:

[MyLittleWonders]

My dad was never very supportive; I'm not sure how he'd be now ... hopefully not stubborn enough to admit that maybe it is a good thing seeing how the boys are developing. He passed away when ds#1 was going into the first grade (hs'ing level).

 

My mom was not supportive at all at first, but not outwardly. I just knew she didn't think it was a good idea. She had one of those ideal high school experiences (well, really all school), is still very close to some high school girlfriends, etc. But then she talked more and more about what happens now in schools (dh is a h.s. teacher) and realized she didn't want her grandsons anywhere near that situation. She's one of my biggest supporters now.

 

ILs are not supportive, though tend to keep their opinions to themselves. FIL is a retired school teacher and thinks it's the greatest thing. Then again, they are not supportive of our diet restrictions either - going as far as asking why we can't just eat what everyone else is eating when we get together. (Don't even get me started!) Overall they are nice ILs and I do love them. But there are just some topics that are not mentioned. Ever. I'm sure SIL is on the same page as her parents. Honestly, dh and I are the black-sheep of the family and know it, and just deal with it.

 

I'm glad dh and my mom are so supportive. That is honestly all I need.

[MellowYellow]

It sounds like a lot of people have disapproving family members.

 

Thank you everyone for responding. It is nice to see that I am not alone in this.

[Guest janainaz]

When my dad does not agree with something, he's quiet. For years he said little to nothing about hs'ing. My dad now compliments me all the time on what a good job I'm doing with my kids (with school and just their overall behavior). His words feel genuine and it does make me feel good. But those years of my dad silently questioning my ability to educate my kids really did not affect me. I felt so sure of the road we chose to take that it just did not matter what anyone thought. I've had my moments - like all hs moms do, but I've known in my heart we are doing what is right for our family by hs'ing.

 

My in-laws have never said much. They are just the kind of people that mind their own business (since my MIL passed away). My ds10 is so down to earth, smart, and well-rounded that he really makes hs'ing look good. :) The rest of my family has always been pretty nice about it.

[Guest mrsjamiesouth]

How does your family feel about you homeschooling your children?

 

Was anyone's against it at first, but now completely supportive?

 

We just started homeschooling and my family is completely against it.They think I am crazy for even considering it. My husbands family thinks it is great and loves the idea.

 

In the end I know all that matters is what we decide as parents, but it would still be nice if my family was open to the idea and supportive of what we choose to do.

 

 

All of the parents on both sides were against homeschooling when we first started. This is our 4th year and everyone is now supportive except my MIL. My dad also has some concerns still about academics, but is supportive for the most part. MY MIL just thinks I am crazy, and I should be out working full time instead of staying home.

[Cortana]

I'm one of the lucky ones that have full support from all family members. My parents wanted to homeschool me and my brother but couldn't afford it back then. First thing my mom said was "I always regreted that we couldn't homeschool you and your brother." :) She will go to thrift stores and yard sales looking for books and curriculum and call me to see if it's something I can use. My dad loves it that we homeschool and proudly tells anyone he can, lol! He's the type that watches the news and anytime there's a story about something bad happening in a school somewhere shouts to the house "and that's why my grandkids are homeschooled!" I love him. :D

 

Mil homeschooled dh, so absolutely was thrilled with our decision. My fil recently suffered several mini-strokes so I have no idea how he would really feel, although dh says he would be happy with our decision. Mil and fil divorced when dh was very young.

 

What's really funny is my sil is a 1st grade teacher and she tells me all the time how jealous she is of me that I can homeschool the kids, that she desperately wants to quit her job and homeschool my neice and nephew and is hoping one day she can. She even had me email her a bunch of info on state laws and curriculum companies.

[amyable]

Honestly, dh and I are the black-sheep of the family and know it, and just deal with it.

 

Same here, esp. with homeschooling.

 

My MIL doesn't talk about it much, but when she does it's never good. She's not aggressive about it but keeps up the "We did things THIS way and thought it was the right way" attitude. She waffles between thinking we are insulting her by choosing a way of schooling that she did not, and just thinking it's weird. My dad never talks about it (except to ask about my dyslexic dd and how she is doing), my mom can only seem to ask, "How do you know they are done with X grade? How do you know they are learning enough and passing into the next grade?" even though I've explained it ad nauseum.

 

My brother's family and dh's siblings families don't seem to care, but definitely tell us all about how GREAT their kids schooling is and how they wouldn't want to do what we are doing.

 

My dh knows we need to homeschool (for many reasons), and says he is supportive, but that's where it ends, and he just kind of leaves it all to me other than impromptu science lessons about current events at the dinner table (he's an engineer). I kind of wish I had *someone* who was really a cheerleader for me.

[prairiegirl]

My family is very supportive. My dh's family--well, not so much. Actually they were very much against it. We have been hsing now for 7 years and they just tolerate our decision. I know they are hoping that we will see the light when our oldest goes to high school. I am anticipating another 'discussion' when that time approaches. :D

[laughing lioness]

Both of our families were very against it when we started. My mom became more supportive (before she died) as she saw our kids develop and love learning and even purchased all of our curriculum a couple of times.

My in-laws have just really become more supportive in the past 2 years (this is our 20th yr of homeschooling). I attribute this to a couple of things- my blog which is subtitled: crafting the extraordinary from the ordinary. I usually post a weekly report as well as field trips and extra curricluars. I also post reviews about my 52 books/yr challenge- many of them have been ed books. They LOVE my blog and have several of thier friends reading it ;).

I think the change has come about becasue they see how seriously we take education and teaching. Since we live so far away they haven't been able to see, up close and personal, the time and attention that we put towards our kids education. The blog has been my our own little propaganda machine :001_smile:.

They also spend time talking with our older girls and reading thier blogs and realize that our kids have opinions and ideas of their own. And, they have been around when other adults have commented/complimented our kids for their respect/maturity/whatever.

And my bil and his wife (their wonder children) started homeschooling 3 years ago -they live very close so they see all the sports/activities there are available.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

Hm. My family is... well. At first they were not really for it, but I think they've seen how it really is the best place for Jenna, both academically and emotionally.

 

My family (and my best friend) do worry about me being overwhelmed. I already have a pretty heavy load with my own schoolwork, and they check in often to make sure I'm not feeling too stressed or like this is my only option. My best friend also worries about my emotional health, she thinks homeschooling Jenna gives me another excuse to be anti-social... :tongue_smilie:(The way I look at it, it forces me to talk to people, to make friends and set up activities for J!)

 

But overall, I think my family is pretty used to my oddball ideas about parenting and keeping Jenna out of the mainstream. I think it is more of a shock to them than anything, since I used to be so wild myself, to see how I've settled down into becoming a pretty darn good parent, if I may say so myself!! lol.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Both sets of grandparents are fine with it.

I have a BIL and a 22 year old nephew who are vocally contemptuous but hey, considering the source, I care not.

I could defend with our girls insane Standford scores, list their ministries, missions trips and activities but why waste my breath?

[littlebug42]

I am so lucky to have an extremely supportive family on both sides. On my side, my sister and brother were already homeschooling when my kids were old enough so that was easy. I was concerned about my in-laws but they were supportive from the beginning. My FIL passed away but my MIL supports us all the way. She keeps a list in her purse of books we might need and scrounges for them at thrift stores, yard sales and used book sales. She has a friend that is critical of our decision but MIL goes toe to toe with her defending us and never misses a chance to brag on the girls. When bragging, she makes sure to let people know that it is because they are homeschooled.

[Alphabetika]

My dad died in 2006, and he wouldn't have said this to my kids, but I know he was concerned about us homeschooling because we're Christians and he....was not. So he thought, basically, that we were educating them with destructive lies.

 

My mom is a former p.s. teacher who lives with us half time since my dad died (6 months of each year, consecutively) and is thankful we homeschool because it means she gets LOTS of time with her granddaughters. I am thrilled with this, too, because it means my girls get to have a real relationship with her.

 

FIL - no idea what he thinks. He's a man of few words, so he's never expressed an opinion.

 

MIL - told me recently, re: homeschooling, and especially homeschooling for high school: "I think you're nuts, but you're doing a great job." :lol: