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Here's WHY I want to loose the weight (6 lbs./week) so quickly....


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I'm the one that posted earlier about needing to loose 6 lbs/week from now until October 24.

 

Here's the deal:

My hubby leaves to go to Indonesia for 4 months to fill in for a friend of ours who has to leave his post/job there. Our friend is a missionary there and he has to return to the States unexpectantly. He's asked my husband to come man the post (much needed) while he's away (my spouse is a surgeon and his partners have agreed with him serving in this role). We've prayed about it and feel God would have him fill in. He leaves October 29. I'm due to ovulate the October 25th ish. I want to conceive before he goes. (btw, thankfully, we've always conceived on the first try).

 

I weigh (GULP) 208 lbs!!!! at 5'7" height. (i know i know.....i've let myself go this year.....). But, I'm in OPERATION RECLAIM and I really want to get to the upper end of my normal weight range before conceiving. My husband told me that if I got to the upper range of normal (which is 164), then he'd agree to trying to conceive. Thus, my motivation is powerful. And, I generally can do something if I decide to do it.....(i can see myself as tenacious as The Biggest Loser ranchers).

 

I don't want to wait :glare: until he's back in March to start trying to conceive. We were planning to conceive in December, so now that 8 weeks has gotten chopped off I'm having to REALLY SPEED things up.

 

Even if I loose 3 lbs. a week for 7 weeks, I'll still be 187 lbs. Thus I need to loose the 6/week.

 

Any thoughts?

Anyone get pregnant while this overweight?

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Of course this is your decision, and it is a very personal decision, but I do hope you do not put yourself under this type of stress. It is not good for your health and if your body is under a lot of stress, that will also not be good for the baby if you do get pregnant. Perhaps this is a good time to discuss this whole process you have in mind with an OB/GYN dr.

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While I understand your desire, I think what you are suggesting is completely unrealistic. Even if you fasted the entire time, I don't think you could loose the weight that fast. And even if, through some miracle, you did lose the weight, what shape would your body be in to support the pregnancy? Please take your time and lose the weight slowly. What is 4 months going to matter 50 years from now?

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Personally, I think you will have MORE difficulty conceiving if you are doing a crash diet during the next seven weeks. The human body seems to have a lot of signals that it watches to make go/no go decisions about starting/continuing a pregnancy and I imaging being on a starvation diet would prevent conception.

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Of course this is your decision, and it is a very personal decision, but I do hope you do not put yourself under this type of stress. It is not good for your health and if your body is under a lot of stress, that will also not be good for the baby if you do get pregnant. Perhaps this is a good time to discuss this whole process you have in mind with an OB/GYN dr.

 

:iagree: That kind of weight loss (and the heavy exercising or under-nourishment that it would require) could put a huge amount of stress on your body which seems like it would not be helpful (or healthy) for conceiving. I've known people who excercise heavily and stopped having a cycle completely. It could completely throw your ovulation out of whack.

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Trying for a baby is a great reason to get healthy.

 

Knowing this is your incentive to lose the weight I wholeheartedly stand by my first response - don't try to lose that much that quick. You need to prepare your body to take care of you and a baby. Losing 42 pounds in 7 weeks is not setting yourself up for health. Even if you began taking prenatal vitamins now you are going to be depriving your body of so much that is necessary to maintain health. You may actually hinder your ability to get pregnant. As other posters have said on the other thread your body may believe it is starving and take the necessary precautions just to maintain itself, pregnancy would be an added stress to your body.

 

 

I can't think that an OB would agree to this diet plan immediately before conception either. I would go to the OB about your weight concerns and see what he has to say.

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I was 220lbs. when my ds11 was conceived. I exercised and worked with a nutritionist (weekly) the entire pregnancy and only gained 5 or six lbs. by his birth. I was healthier when he was born. He was 10 lbs. and very healthy, as well. I was diligent with my diet and exercise. My suggestion would be to start exercising and eating well now. Not necessarily dieting. You can have a successful pregnancy. You will just have to be careful.

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Boooooohiissssss:toetap05:........you guys sound like my husband and I know you're right, but I just thought that if I picked a healthy LIFESTYLE that the weight just naturally came off with, then why would it matter that it's so much per week.

 

I thought about doing Dr. Fuhrman's EAT TO LIVE program/book (learned about on this forum) where you just eat as much healthy stuff as you want (which I'm finding is about 1300calories a day from doing it this past week) and exercised 2 hours a day that I'd be a healthy lifestyle anyway.

 

If we conceive I could continue with the healthy changes and reduce to about 30-45 minutes of cardio a day and 30 minutes strength training daily. I'm not hungry on this plan. I thought that so long as I wasn't hungry and eating as much healthy stuff as I want, then that's healthy.

 

So, in summary, what do you all say about adopting this healthy lifestyle and let the chips fall where they may (with regard to weight loss)?

 

If I do this new lifestyle, would you just say forget the scale and conceive on the 24th anyway?

 

Or would you wait to get in the healthy weight range before conceiving?

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I've recently been doing a lot of pre-conception care research and thing I keep coming across is that mom needs to well nourished before conception. To be able to get the proper nutrients babe would need it wouldn't be a good idea to drastically reduce calories, even with a pre-natal vitamin (which I hope you are taking!) A helpful book

i have found on all this is What To Expect Before You're Expecting in the What to Expect series. A bit cutsey and def. not a bible on the subject but a very good place to start if you're interested.

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Personally, I think you will have MORE difficulty conceiving if you are doing a crash diet during the next seven weeks. The human body seems to have a lot of signals that it watches to make go/no go decisions about starting/continuing a pregnancy and I imaging being on a starvation diet would prevent conception.

 

Of course this is your decision, and it is a very personal decision, but I do hope you do not put yourself under this type of stress. It is not good for your health and if your body is under a lot of stress, that will also not be good for the baby if you do get pregnant. Perhaps this is a good time to discuss this whole process you have in mind with an OB/GYN dr.

 

 

I agree 100% with everything they have stated.

 

NO WAY would I *ever* try to lose that much weight in such a short amt of time. It is NOT healthy for the anyone, and the weight loss such as the participants lose in the Biggest Loser are watched CLOSELY by doctors. They are EXTREMLY over-weight as well and are considered morbidly obsese, you are not.

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If I do this new lifestyle, would you just say forget the scale and conceive on the 24th anyway?

 

Or would you wait to get in the healthy weight range before conceiving?

 

I would try T-Tapp. ;) Seriously. At least check it out and give it a try.

 

Besides, there's no *guarantee* that you'll conceive on or before the 24th, right? What if you kill yourself to lose 42 lbs in 7 weeks (which will be extremely difficult if not impossible in the first place), and then don't conceive as planned? Won't that be horribly discouraging?

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I've recently been doing a lot of pre-conception care research and thing I keep coming across is that mom needs to well nourished before conception. To be able to get the proper nutrients babe would need it wouldn't be a good idea to drastically reduce calories, even with a pre-natal vitamin (which I hope you are taking!) A helpful book

i have found on all this is What To Expect Before You're Expecting in the What to Expect series. A bit cutsey and def. not a bible on the subject but a very good place to start if you're interested.

 

Some highlights on pre-conception weight loss (quotes):

 

Resist the urge to sign up for a crash diet-even one that's high in protein, low carb-because it can too easily deplete your body's stores of vital baby-making nutrients.

 

Weight loss that's too quick can also leat to fertility issues-this time disrupting ovulation by decreaing progesterone production. A gradual weight loss will give your reproductive hormones ample time to readjust to your new weight reality.

 

It's best to reach your goal wieght 6 to 8 weeks before you start tying to conceive so your body can get used to its new shape before it starts changing again...(??? no more info about this eta maybe hormonally?)

 

_______________________________________

 

There are some weight loss tips and some bmi goals.

 

I say if you want to lose the weight than go for it!! But give yourself a time of replenishing yourself before you try to conceive. From my research that would be at least 3 months, but 6 would be much better.

Edited by mommyjen
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Honestly, I'm stunned that your dh, a surgeon, would think this is a good idea.

 

To me it sounds unhealthy to attempt this.

 

As far as I can tell, it doesn't seem that her husband has put this time table on her to lose the weight. It seems he wants her to be a a healthier weight before getting pregnant, but she has come up with this time table based on her husband needing to be gone in a few months for an extended time.

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If I do this new lifestyle, would you just say forget the scale and conceive on the 24th anyway?

 

Or would you wait to get in the healthy weight range before conceiving?

 

 

I would recommend focusing on a diet and lifestyle that is healthy and supportive of conception, pregnancy, and breastfeeding, and not worry about the actual number of pounds. I know that others will disagree with me on this, but if memory serves, the diet you are considering is vegan or semi-vegan, and that is NOT healthy for growing a baby! Babies need adequate amounts of *healthy* fats for building their brains and their immune system, and plenty of proteins for building, well, almost everything, and large amounts of vitamins (such as A and D) which are found primarily in animal foods. What you can safely cut back on is the empty calories from carbohydrates (bread, pasta, potatoes, and sweets can be disposed of entirely). Carbs provide little nutrition, but lots of calories, and that's exactly what you don't need.

 

Here's a long but very good article about nutrition and women's health. I would particularly recommend the sections entitled "The Dangers of Vegetarianism", "The Fat-Soluble Activators", and "Infertility".

http://www.westonaprice.org/womens-health/641-wise-choices-healthy-bodies.html

 

And here is a great website regarding a diet that I personally think is far, far healthier than Eat to Live:

 

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

 

I have tried many, many diets in my life - vegetarian, macrobiotic, blood type, and more, and the "Primal" diet is undeniably the one that makes me feel and function my best.

 

Good luck!

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I weigh (GULP) 208 lbs!!!! at 5'7" height. (i know i know.....i've let myself go this year.....). But, I'm in OPERATION RECLAIM and I really want to get to the upper end of my normal weight range before conceiving. My husband told me that if I got to the upper range of normal (which is 164), then he'd agree to trying to conceive. Thus, my motivation is powerful. And, I generally can do something if I decide to do it.....(i can see myself as tenacious as The Biggest Loser ranchers).

 

 

To the bolded: Huh? That sounds awful controlling, blackmailish. Either he wants another child or he doesn't. Putting conditions on it seems a bit off to me.

 

I agree with the others. A body will do what it can to prevent conception during times of starvation. By crash dieting prior to conception you are lessening your chances at it.

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I would recommend focusing on a diet and lifestyle that is healthy and supportive of conception, pregnancy, and breastfeeding, and not worry about the actual number of pounds. I know that others will disagree with me on this, but if memory serves, the diet you are considering is vegan or semi-vegan, and that is NOT healthy for growing a baby! Babies need adequate amounts of *healthy* fats for building their brains and their immune system, and plenty of proteins for building, well, almost everything, and large amounts of vitamins (such as A and D) which are found primarily in animal foods. What you can safely cut back on is the empty calories from carbohydrates (bread, pasta, potatoes, and sweets can be disposed of entirely). Carbs provide little nutrition, but lots of calories, and that's exactly what you don't need.

 

Here's a long but very good article about nutrition and women's health. I would particularly recommend the sections entitled "The Dangers of Vegetarianism", "The Fat-Soluble Activators", and "Infertility".

http://www.westonaprice.org/womens-health/641-wise-choices-healthy-bodies.html

 

And here is a great website regarding a diet that I personally think is far, far healthier than Eat to Live:

 

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

 

I have tried many, many diets in my life - vegetarian, macrobiotic, blood type, and more, and the "Primal" diet is undeniably the one that makes me feel and function my best.

 

Good luck!

 

Concur.

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I don't think it's possible to lose six pounds a week on any diet. Even if it might be, it certainly isn't healthy. Throw in the fact that you're wanting to concieve. It's not a good time to go on a diet that puts your body under that much stress to eliminate unwanted fat.

 

I would take a more conservative approach. Set a realistic goal of a half to two pounds per week. Regular exercise. Then, continue on a healthy eating plan once pregnant. You don't have to gain lots of weight during pregnancy.

 

Establishing good habits such as learning how to control portion size, avoiding food binges, eating foods that give you the most nourishment for the amount of calories, etc. would be a good start.

 

Crash dieting tends to work in the short term, but many people find that they can't continue to eat the way they were when dieting and gain the weight right back. Losing the weight is great, but not if you can't keep it off.

 

Maybe your husband will reconsider if you explain to him your predicament of needing to lose so much in such a short time. Let him know that your willing to lose a reasonable amount and then continue with a healthy eating and exercise program once you're pregnant.

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I was supportive in the other thread, but honestly think this is a mistake. IF you are going to do this, PLEASE eat nutrient dense foods so your body is getting all the nutrients it needs. Your baby-to-be and you will need your body to have all of the nutrients and strength possible.

 

Exercise is fine also, but don't overdo it as it can cause it to be harder to conceive.

 

BTW, overweight women are supposed to gain very little weight during pregnancy by new standards released. It is possible to even lose a little weight though I wouldn't TRY to do that. But if you maintained, you could easily be at your goal or lower soon after birth naturally enough.

 

Anyway, eat VERY healthy, nutrient dense foods and don't overdo the exercise. It's better for you to lose a modest bit of weight and have your body in shape and ready to provide for a new little one rather than for you to be the weight you wish.

 

ETA: take vitamins and make sure you're getting healthy fats from conception on :)

Edited by 2J5M9K
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Another thought to consider: rapid weight loss followed by pregnancy hormones sounds like the perfect recipe for gallbladder problems.

 

And I have to add that I am :blink: at the thought that you know now, September 3rd, when you will ovulate in October and you are sure you will conceive on the first try. I believe you...I'm just boggled. It's so far outside the scope of my experience. :blink:

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:iagree: That kind of weight loss (and the heavy exercising or under-nourishment that it would require) could put a huge amount of stress on your body which seems like it would not be helpful (or healthy) for conceiving. I've known people who excercise heavily and stopped having a cycle completely. It could completely throw your ovulation out of whack.

:iagree:

 

I was 50 lbs overweight when I conceived DD and I never had a SINGLE thing wrong the entire time. All my stats and delivery were perfect. It is about being healthy.

 

Stressing your body like this and then trying to concieve is counterproductive. If you and/or your doc think it is not good to conceive now, dont do it. It sucks to wait, but you want a healthy you and a healthy baby!! If you think you are OK to conceive then do so, but just eat healthy and exercise.

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Another thought to consider: rapid weight loss followed by pregnancy hormones sounds like the perfect recipe for gallbladder problems.

 

And I have to add that I am :blink: at the thought that you know now, September 3rd, when you will ovulate in October and you are sure you will conceive on the first try. I believe you...I'm just boggled. It's so far outside the scope of my experience. :blink:

 

We are one of those couples that conceive on the first try each and every time! Four to be exact. :001_wub: My cycles are regular and I know when I am and and will be ovulating (usually, very rarely my cycles have been out of whack due to extreme stress) by using the FAM.

Edited by mommyjen
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I have to say, I don't think losing that amount of weight in that amount of time is either realistic or healthy. Much as I would love to be able to join you and lose that amount of weight that fast, too. LOL.

 

I don't think it's really right that your husband would put a "we can do it IF you lose X number of pounds" sort of restriction on you, either.

 

What's wrong with "go on a healthy weight loss plan and lose what you can between now and then, and then we'll try in a few weeks, wherever you are."

 

Once you're pregnant, follow a sensible diet as discussed with your doctor so that you don't gain much MORE than you should. And then after you have your baby, go back to losing the rest of the weight.

 

That's my suggestion, anyway!

 

Good luck, all around!

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I don't think it's possible to lose six pounds a week on any diet. Even if it might be, it certainly isn't healthy. Throw in the fact that you're wanting to concieve. It's not a good time to go on a diet that puts your body under that much stress to eliminate unwanted fat.

 

I would take a more conservative approach. Set a realistic goal of a half to two pounds per week. Regular exercise. Then, continue on a healthy eating plan once pregnant. You don't have to gain lots of weight during pregnancy.

 

Establishing good habits such as learning how to control portion size, avoiding food binges, eating foods that give you the most nourishment for the amount of calories, etc. would be a good start.

 

Crash dieting tends to work in the short term, but many people find that they can't continue to eat the way they were when dieting and gain the weight right back. Losing the weight is great, but not if you can't keep it off.

 

Maybe your husband will reconsider if you explain to him your predicament of needing to lose so much in such a short time. Let him know that your willing to lose a reasonable amount and then continue with a healthy eating and exercise program once you're pregnant.

 

:iagree:

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I agree with those who say it's possible to become healthier while pg by gaining less weight. You don't have to gain 40 lb while pg! If you gain 15 lb, you can be 20 lb lighter than you are now six weeks postpartum. Eating healthfully and being fit and healthy is a great goal for the rest of your life regardless of your pregnancy timing.

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Please look realistically at the situation. I, of all people, understand the powerful drive to have another baby. But the schedule that you have planned is not a safe or reasonable one. I am very uncomfortable with all the ultimata/stipulations being issued - dh to you, you to your body, you to the calendar, and to God.

 

If it is right for dh to be away this winter, perhaps it's appropriate to care for your body over the next several months, and hope to conceive when dh comes home. God knows the timing, and I would be concerned about imposing my own timeline over what is clearly set. May You have real wisdom about this, and many blessings in the hoped-for child.:grouphug:

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Honestly, I'm stunned that your dh, a surgeon, would think this is a good idea.

 

To me it sounds unhealthy to attempt this.

 

 

I posted in my previous post on this thread that the naysayers sounded like my husband. Fact is he doesn't know my weight....I'm tall and hide it well as it's fairly evenly distributed all over me. He just said that I need to be in my healthy weight range as I mentioned earlier and said he'd agree with trying to conceive when I reach the top end of my healthy weight range (164 ish). My guess is that he assumes that I weight about 186 ish. So.....if he knew I was 208 he'd definitely concur with the general consensus, but he also feels strongly about Eat To Live / Fuhrman and he knows that Dr. Fuhrman's patients ROUTINELY loose 5 lbs/week in the early months.

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Personally, I think you will have MORE difficulty conceiving if you are doing a crash diet during the next seven weeks. The human body seems to have a lot of signals that it watches to make go/no go decisions about starting/continuing a pregnancy and I imaging being on a starvation diet would prevent conception.

 

This was my gut reaction, too.

 

I do know people who have safely, and under a doctors close supervision, lost weight during their pregnancies. One woman I know walked everyday of her pregnancy and actually lost 20 pounds over the 9 months. But, with something as sacred as a baby within, I would also defer to the care of a doctor.

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I agree with all the posters. You have two options: vow to adopt a healthy lifestyle (good nutrition and appropriate exercise), and either accept that you will not loose the weight until postpartum, or put off conceiving until you do so, but at a healthy rate and in a healthful method.

 

I have also let myself go terribly over the past 2 years. Lots of stress-related reasons for not finding the time or energy to exercise, until it seems like pushing a boulder to think about starting again, lack of exercise=lack of energy/motivation, and the vicious cycle continues.

 

I attempted to "get back on track" several times, but it only lasted about a week before I was back in my rut. I did conceive while overweight, and am trying not to gain a ton during my pregnancy, and am becoming more motivated to get back in shape after the baby is born. I'm not getting any younger, and waiting to get to my "perfect weight" before conceiving would have meant it would never have happened.

 

From past experience, I also realized that, after putting in all the hard work, sweat and committment it takes to get in shape, I would not have been willing to "throw that all away" on a pregnancy. Selfish, I know, but that's how deprivation affects me ;). So, since I was already fat and out of shape, how much more damage could the pregnancy do? At least I have an excuse to be fat for a few months :lol:. Once I have my beautiful baby in my arms, then I can worry about getting my body back (and pretending the excess weight was gained in martyrdom to produce this wonderful child, not because I was lazy the past 2 years)!

 

Best of luck with whichever option you choose, as long as it involves making healthy lifestyle changes.

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I posted in my previous post on this thread that the naysayers sounded like my husband. Fact is he doesn't know my weight....I'm tall and hide it well as it's fairly evenly distributed all over me. He just said that I need to be in my healthy weight range as I mentioned earlier and said he'd agree with trying to conceive when I reach the top end of my healthy weight range (164 ish). My guess is that he assumes that I weight about 186 ish. So.....if he knew I was 208 he'd definitely concur with the general consensus, but he also feels strongly about Eat To Live / Fuhrman and he knows that Dr. Fuhrman's patients ROUTINELY loose 5 lbs/week in the early months.

But, if you know your DH wouldn't approve of you trying to lose so much weight so quickly, then the only way you could accomplish what you're trying to do would be to deceive him into thinking your weight loss wouldn't be as drastic or unhealthy as it would be. Would you really be comfortable tricking your DH into trying to conceive (not to mention the health risks to both you and the baby), just so you could "move up the schedule" by a few months? :confused: :confused: :confused:

 

Jackie

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I would recommend focusing on a diet and lifestyle that is healthy and supportive of conception, pregnancy, and breastfeeding, and not worry about the actual number of pounds. I know that others will disagree with me on this, but if memory serves, the diet you are considering is vegan or semi-vegan, and that is NOT healthy for growing a baby! Babies need adequate amounts of *healthy* fats for building their brains and their immune system, and plenty of proteins for building, well, almost everything, and large amounts of vitamins (such as A and D) which are found primarily in animal foods. What you can safely cut back on is the empty calories from carbohydrates (bread, pasta, potatoes, and sweets can be disposed of entirely). Carbs provide little nutrition, but lots of calories, and that's exactly what you don't need.

 

 

 

Here's a long but very good article about nutrition and women's health. I would particularly recommend the sections entitled "The Dangers of Vegetarianism", "The Fat-Soluble Activators", and "Infertility".

http://www.westonaprice.org/womens-health/641-wise-choices-healthy-bodies.html

 

And here is a great website regarding a diet that I personally think is far, far healthier than Eat to Live:

 

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

 

I have tried many, many diets in my life - vegetarian, macrobiotic, blood type, and more, and the "Primal" diet is undeniably the one that makes me feel and function my best.

 

Good luck!

 

Eat to Live diet allows for meat and lots of healthy fats.

But, I'll look at the links and check them out as well.

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Eat to Live diet allows for meat and lots of healthy fats.

But, I'll look at the links and check them out as well.

 

The Eat to Live that allows for 5 lbs. per week does not allow meat. Even the "maintenance" plan only allows for meat twice per week. Healthy fats and high fiber are the focus. However, vegan and semi-vegan people have healthy babies all the time, so I am not going to say it is unhealthy. Make sure you get lots of protein!

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To the bolded: Huh? That sounds awful controlling, blackmailish. Either he wants another child or he doesn't. Putting conditions on it seems a bit off to me.

 

I agree with the others. A body will do what it can to prevent conception during times of starvation. By crash dieting prior to conception you are lessening your chances at it.

 

My husband is not in the least controlling. He just knows how much weight I gained AFTER pregnancy (I didn't gain too much during) and he knows that it's healthiest for me to return to a healthy range before gaining 60 lbs. AGAIN like I did AFTER my last birth. I think he'd say that to risk adding 60+ lbs. to my current 208 would be VERY risky to me. His motives are pure and kind and have nothing to do with control or being "blackmailish." As for putting conditions...I think it's reasonable to be concern about one's spouse's health. If HIS body was 80 lbs over his ideal, no doubt I'd be concerned for him and I'd be much more verbal about it than he has been to me. I think he's been the kindest creature on the planet about it, so I had to step in and clear your misunderstanding up. He's been an absolute angel to me for the past 15 years of marriage. He has only desired me to reach MY goals as he knows what a bother / worry my excess weight has been TO ME. Sure he'd like me healthier and he'd probably like me to look better in a negligee', but he hasn't used my weight to play "keep away" with the sperm. He's been nothing but encouraging and has never nagged me about my overweight.

 

When we had the talk about it last week when he agreed to make the trip to Indonesia, we had to re-visit the conception issue since we had planned to conceive in December. I told him that AT BEST I could only aim for being more close to the uppermost end of my healthy weight range but that I couldn't reach it before he left and he just said this would be close enough for us to go on and pursue our shared desire for another child.

 

When I've told some people that I'm waiting to conceive until I loose some weight, SEVERAL of them look at my puzzled and say something like, "You don't need to loose any weight!" So....he, like them, doesn't assume I'm 208 lbs. either. It's a mini-miracle that I posted it here! Thankfully, he hasn't asked me my actual weight. Again, he likely assumes like most everyone that I'm only about 20 lbs. over the 164. If he ask me then I'd tell him. But, I could just plug away and reach it without confessing such an embarrassing number, then --- I want to do it as I'm VERY ashamed at the poor stewardship of my body. To think that I'm 80 lbs over my ideal is hard for me.

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My husband is not in the least controlling. He just knows how much weight I gained AFTER pregnancy (I didn't gain too much during) and he knows that it's healthiest for me to return to a healthy range before gaining 60 lbs. AGAIN like I did AFTER my last birth. I think he'd say that to risk adding 60+ lbs. to my current 208 would be VERY risky to me. His motives are pure and kind and have nothing to do with control or being "blackmailish." As for putting conditions...I think it's reasonable to be concern about one's spouse's health. If HIS body was 80 lbs over his ideal, no doubt I'd be concerned for him and I'd be much more verbal about it than he has been to me. I think he's been the kindest creature on the planet about it, so I had to step in and clear your misunderstanding up. He's been an absolute angel to me for the past 15 years of marriage. He has only desired me to reach MY goals as he knows what a bother / worry my excess weight has been TO ME. Sure he'd like me healthier and he'd probably like me to look better in a negligee', but he hasn't used my weight to play "keep away" with the sperm. He's been nothing but encouraging and has never nagged me about my overweight.

 

When we had the talk about it last week when he agreed to make the trip to Indonesia, we had to re-visit the conception issue since we had planned to conceive in December. I told him that AT BEST I could only aim for being more close to the uppermost end of my healthy weight range but that I couldn't reach it before he left and he just said this would be close enough for us to go on and pursue our shared desire for another child.

 

When I've told some people that I'm waiting to conceive until I loose some weight, SEVERAL of them look at my puzzled and say something like, "You don't need to loose any weight!" So....he, like them, doesn't assume I'm 208 lbs. either. It's a mini-miracle that I posted it here! Thankfully, he hasn't asked me my actual weight. Again, he likely assumes like most everyone that I'm only about 20 lbs. over the 164. If he ask me then I'd tell him. But, I could just plug away and reach it without confessing such an embarrassing number, then --- I want to do it as I'm VERY ashamed at the poor stewardship of my body. To think that I'm 80 lbs over my ideal is hard for me.

 

Where I'm a little confused is if you were going to try to conceive in December anyway. Why haven't you been zealously trying to lose the weight already?

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But, if you know your DH wouldn't approve of you trying to lose so much weight so quickly, then the only way you could accomplish what you're trying to do would be to deceive him into thinking your weight loss wouldn't be as drastic or unhealthy as it would be. Would you really be comfortable tricking your DH into trying to conceive (not to mention the health risks to both you and the baby), just so you could "move up the schedule" by a few months? :confused: :confused: :confused:

 

Jackie

 

You're right....

I think I've decided to just come right out and tell him the dreaded 208.

I've been thinking about this all day. It isn't right. I just DESPISE that my WEIGHT is what's holding us up. but......one good thing is that I've never had such determination to rid myself of this. .......You know I just thought about it....if I keep this up, then I could look R E A L L Y HOT by March and surprise him with a new bod by then........hmmmmmmmmmm.....how romantic....this is sounding really good. Thanks, jackie and thanks all. Yall are great. :grouphug:

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Please look realistically at the situation. I, of all people, understand the powerful drive to have another baby. But the schedule that you have planned is not a safe or reasonable one. I am very uncomfortable with all the ultimata/stipulations being issued - dh to you, you to your body, you to the calendar, and to God.

 

If it is right for dh to be away this winter, perhaps it's appropriate to care for your body over the next several months, and hope to conceive when dh comes home. God knows the timing, and I would be concerned about imposing my own timeline over what is clearly set. May You have real wisdom about this, and many blessings in the hoped-for child.:grouphug:

 

:iagree:

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I don't want to wait :glare: until he's back in March to start trying to conceive. We were planning to conceive in December, so now that 8 weeks has gotten chopped off I'm having to REALLY SPEED things up.

 

I still don't get it. You're still risking your health and stressing your body. The act that you want to get pregnant at the end of it makes me even more concerned, not less.

 

What you're suggesting might even end up making you less likely to conceive or if you do conceive, put your pregnancy at a higher risk.

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Boooooohiissssss:toetap05:........you guys sound like my husband and I know you're right, but I just thought that if I picked a healthy LIFESTYLE that the weight just naturally came off with, then why would it matter that it's so much per week.

 

:banghead:

:D

 

1300 calories a day is not healthy is any way. It's a reasonable intact for a sedentary woman perhaps but then she's not being active. If a woman IS getting a reasonable amount of exercise then she needs to fuel it and 1300 calories won't cut it.

 

It matters how much comes off because that's exactly one of the ways a healthy lifestyle can be measured. If you're losing 6 pounds a week there's not a reasonable doctor in your country who wouldn't know immediatly that your lifestyle is anything BUT healthy.

 

I think that if you're really interesting in getting a healthier lifestyle then you should maybe consult your doctor, a dietitian (please!) and a good trained at a reputable local gym.

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Another thought to consider: rapid weight loss followed by pregnancy hormones sounds like the perfect recipe for gallbladder problems.

 

And I have to add that I am :blink: at the thought that you know now, September 3rd, when you will ovulate in October and you are sure you will conceive on the first try. I believe you...I'm just boggled. It's so far outside the scope of my experience. :blink:

 

I have 29 day cycles since my last child was 9 months (when I resumed cycles as breastfed), and I ovulate on day 15 without fail. (I'm a Toni Weschler TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR FERTILITY gal). We've been blessed to conceive all of our kids on first tries thankfully. No guarantee, but that's how it's been in past. So...when time comes, we'll see.

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I still don't get it. You're still risking your health and stressing your body. The act that you want to get pregnant at the end of it makes me even more concerned, not less.

 

What you're suggesting might even end up making you less likely to conceive or if you do conceive, put your pregnancy at a higher risk.

 

I don't understand what you mean.

What's so unhealthy about eating 1300 calories a day with the most nutritious foods in the world, getting plenty of protein, healthy fats, water and exercising with walking and stationary biking for an hour or two a day.

This is the calories I'd get doing weightwatchers! (1 point = about 50 calories, so this would be 26 points per day which is what they'd prescribe/suggest for me at 206 lbs.).

 

What's risky about this?

 

If I DO this, who's to say that I'll loose but the healthy RATE you all are purporting (2-3 lbs/week)?

 

Can you explain your concern?

How am I stressing my body to leave off all the excess for once?

 

:confused:

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Where I'm a little confused is if you were going to try to conceive in December anyway. Why haven't you been zealously trying to lose the weight already?

 

I've lost about 19 lbs. in the past 4 months. I have been trying since my son's BIRTH. I weaned my last child at age 2 and until I did (wean him) the weight WOULD NOT BUDGE in the slightest. Seriously, I changed nothing diet or exercise, because I didn't think I overate and I exercised about 30 minutes DAILY. The weight has JUST started coming off since weaning. There's a direct correlation. I breastfed my son for 2 years and gained 60 lbs. since his birth. I kid you NOT! With my 2nd son, I gained / retained about 15 lbs. with pregnancy and didn't lose it, but I didn't gain 60! He self-weaned at 14 months.

 

And...I'm down to 206 ish, and I knew that if I kept up this pace and added a little more exercise then I'd lose more than the 1.5 lbs/week that I've BEEN losing and if I lost even 2 or 3 lbs a week until end December I'd be within my normal healthy weight range by then. So....my desire to SPEED it up came with my hubby's agreeing to go to Indonesia.

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I have to say, I don't think losing that amount of weight in that amount of time is either realistic or healthy. Much as I would love to be able to join you and lose that amount of weight that fast, too. LOL.

 

I don't think it's really right that your husband would put a "we can do it IF you lose X number of pounds" sort of restriction on you, either.

 

What's wrong with "go on a healthy weight loss plan and lose what you can between now and then, and then we'll try in a few weeks, wherever you are."

 

Once you're pregnant, follow a sensible diet as discussed with your doctor so that you don't gain much MORE than you should. And then after you have your baby, go back to losing the rest of the weight.

 

That's my suggestion, anyway!

 

Good luck, all around!

 

I think what I wrote about hubby has been thoroughly misunderstood, so I'll post my same reply to another similar reaction here: (posted this also on pg 5 ish):

My husband is not in the least controlling. He just knows how much weight I gained AFTER pregnancy (I didn't gain too much during) and he knows that it's healthiest for me to return to a healthy range before gaining 60 lbs. AGAIN like I did AFTER my last birth. I think he'd say that to risk adding 60+ lbs. to my current 208 would be VERY risky to me. His motives are pure and kind and have nothing to do with control or being "blackmailish." As for putting conditions...I think it's reasonable to be concern about one's spouse's health. If HIS body was 80 lbs over his ideal, no doubt I'd be concerned for him and I'd be much more verbal about it than he has been to me. I think he's been the kindest creature on the planet about it, so I had to step in and clear your misunderstanding up. He's been an absolute angel to me for the past 15 years of marriage. He has only desired me to reach MY goals as he knows what a bother / worry my excess weight has been TO ME. Sure he'd like me healthier and he'd probably like me to look better in a negligee', but he hasn't used my weight to play "keep away" with the sperm. He's been nothing but encouraging and has never nagged me about my overweight.

 

When we had the talk about it last week when he agreed to make the trip to Indonesia, we had to re-visit the conception issue since we had planned to conceive in December. I told him that AT BEST I could only aim for being more close to the uppermost end of my healthy weight range but that I couldn't reach it before he left and he just said this would be close enough for us to go on and pursue our shared desire for another child.

 

When I've told some people that I'm waiting to conceive until I loose some weight, SEVERAL of them look at my puzzled and say something like, "You don't need to loose any weight!" So....he, like them, doesn't assume I'm 208 lbs. either. It's a mini-miracle that I posted it here! Thankfully, he hasn't asked me my actual weight. Again, he likely assumes like most everyone that I'm only about 20 lbs. over the 164. If he ask me then I'd tell him. But, I could just plug away and reach it without confessing such an embarrassing number, then --- I want to do it as I'm VERY ashamed at the poor stewardship of my body. To think that I'm 80 lbs over my ideal is hard for me.

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I don't understand what you mean.

What's so unhealthy about eating 1300 calories a day with the most nutritious foods in the world, getting plenty of protein, healthy fats, water and exercising with walking and stationary biking for an hour or two a day.

This is the calories I'd get doing weightwatchers! (1 point = about 50 calories, so this would be 26 points per day which is what they'd prescribe/suggest for me at 206 lbs.).

 

What's risky about this?

 

If I DO this, who's to say that I'll loose but the healthy RATE you all are purporting (2-3 lbs/week)?

 

Can you explain your concern?

How am I stressing my body to leave off all the excess for once?

 

:confused:

 

At 208, you're body requires more than 1700 calories to do nothing but sleep 24 hours/day and maintain your weight. To spend 2 hours doing moderate activity and nothing else, not even housework, that's 2300 calories. You're talking about dropping 1000 calories/day from what you're body will expect... IF you don't lift a finger during those other 22 hours.

 

You have to know that it would be a HUGE shock to your entire system. I can't even begin to imagine your body allowing you to exercise with such little fuel.

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