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Sometimes I worryabout my 5 year old :(


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My 5 year old son is a wonderful, sweet boy. He's quieter and less 'sporty' than my other son, and he was in part time pre-k last year, and now he's home. He's mentioned to me more than once that he misses his friends. I have scheduled playdates, take him out to places where other kids hang out (the park, etc) but something's missing.

 

His older brother could (I swear) make friends on a virtually deserted island--he will go right up to someone, ask if they want to play, and voila-new best friend. My younger son, however, while not SHY, definitely prefers to get to know kids more slowly. For example, he'll play "next to" someone in the park for an hour, not even say hi, and then when we leave he'll ask "when are we going to see my new friend again?" LOL.

 

He's an unusual 5 yo boy: he loves ballet, music, art and playing quietly with his friends (all of whom are girls). I worry about how I am going to find him playmates. We're going to have him join an art class, and a music class, once we return from Rome (we're leaving in 2 weeks forr a month). I am also probably going to continue with ballet. What's weird with him is that while the class is going on, I have no sense that he's connecting with any of the kids, but after a few weeks of no ballet, he's asking me when he's going to see his ballet friends again. :confused: So I guess he IS connecting, just on a different level than his brother.

 

Plus, he's "pickier" than his brother about whom he'll befriend. His brother will basically be friends with anybody who loves to run around, play games, bike, and play chess. But my younger is more picky, which makes is harder.

 

Ideas?

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For some reason, I think we, as parents, think our kids have to fit in a certain mold. Sometimes I don't even think we know we're doing it, but we all do. Don't worry about your son. He's still a little boy. He is going to make friends or A friend. He will be just fine. I like that he doesn't jsut hang out with anyone, he's picky and that's a good thing. My girls are 22 and 15 and the older one sounds like your older son and my younger one sounds like your younger son and they are both just fine! Let him be a little boy and don't worry about it!

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For some reason, I think we, as parents, think our kids have to fit in a certain mold. Sometimes I don't even think we know we're doing it, but we all do. Don't worry about your son. He's still a little boy. He is going to make friends or A friend. He will be just fine. I like that he doesn't jsut hang out with anyone, he's picky and that's a good thing. My girls are 22 and 15 and the older one sounds like your older son and my younger one sounds like your younger son and they are both just fine! Let him be a little boy and don't worry about it!

 

 

Thanks :) I am not worried, exactly (despite my thread title). It's more that HE seems a bit...not unhappy exactly, but lonely.

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He sounds like he might have a social style that is introverted, meaning only that he is energized by being alone, and de-energized by being sociable...it's not a value statement at all. I am introverted, and can be quite satisfied being by myself for hours or days at a time. I like people just fine, but find that extensive involvement in high density social situations makes me tired after awhile. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

I'll bet he's a fine lad, and just fine!

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I would look for a family or two to be friends with. The kids don't have to be the exact ages. I found that if I enjoyed the mom and the kids had a couple of hours to play things worked well over time. Our kids didn't have friends that came alone when they were young.

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I guess I wasn't clear...I am having trouble finding situations that provide the sort of social stimulation he wants, which is basically 2 kids hanging out with him playing quietly, make-believe, drawing etc. There are "activities" out there, of course, but that's not what he's looking for. And he doesn't have enough friends--1 or 2 but that's not enough for 2-3 weekly playdates, which is what he'd like.

 

I guess I am asking--how do I meet friends for him? Our local homeschool group is not a good fit for our family.

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I guess I wasn't clear...I am having trouble finding situations that provide the sort of social stimulation he wants, which is basically 2 kids hanging out with him playing quietly, make-believe, drawing etc. There are "activities" out there, of course, but that's not what he's looking for. And he doesn't have enough friends--1 or 2 but that's not enough for 2-3 weekly playdates, which is what he'd like.

 

I guess I am asking--how do I meet friends for him? Our local homeschool group is not a good fit for our family.

 

One thing I think it's important to teach young kids is to play how other kids want to sometimes, too. I think it would be hard to find friends to play quietly (girls, yes. Boys? No. not my boys anyway!) Maybe playdates could be divided where the play is sometimes what he wants, sometimes what the friend wants? I did this a LOT when my kids were young and I believe it really helped.

 

I think you have your hands full with trying to get him together with 2 - 3 kids per week! Ouch! What about your other son and his activities? I couldn't do it!

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I guess I wasn't clear...I am having trouble finding situations that provide the sort of social stimulation he wants, which is basically 2 kids hanging out with him playing quietly, make-believe, drawing etc. There are "activities" out there, of course, but that's not what he's looking for. And he doesn't have enough friends--1 or 2 but that's not enough for 2-3 weekly playdates, which is what he'd like.

 

I guess I am asking--how do I meet friends for him? Our local homeschool group is not a good fit for our family.

 

:grouphug:

 

Too bad you're not closer! My 5 year old loves drawing and creating. Most of his friends have been girls, but we've found a boy in the neighborhood who he likes to play with.

 

Maybe you could start a lego club or something along those lines?

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