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My dd seems to be terrified of her new teacher


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Dd, 10, returned to ps this year for 5th grade. She was so excited but she seems so afraid of her teacher. She actually broke down in tears this evening because I questioned her about writing an assignment down wrong. She said she couldn't read the homework chart and said,"YOU"RE NOT ALLOWED TO GET UP, EVER!". She says they can't even throw their trash away until the end of the day - they have to keep it in their desk.:001_huh: She said she doesn't raise her hand to ask questions because if the teacher isn't talking she is too busy. :001_huh: I don't know if my dd is just assuming these things or if the teacher is truly sending out those messages. She's been is ps before when she was younger and loved her teachers. I don't want to question teacher and come across as the crazy ex-homeschooling mom.

 

Have any of you dealt with this problem when returning to ps? Have your kids been this unsure of themselves? Any advice on how to handle it with dd? TIA!!

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Uff da. If it continues, I would try to get more information even if it means discussing it gently with the teacher.

 

Sometimes teachers will try to establish authority at the begining of the year by cracking down on classroom order. It could be that, or she could just have a controlling personality.

 

Good luck. Hope you find a good solution for your daughter soon.

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We haven't had anything like this happen. I agree with the PP who said often at the beginning of the year the teachers try to establish authority - which is important - but that sounds a little extreme.

 

I would talk to your dd and get her view of things. Then I would probably talk with the teacher or maybe the teacher and principal if there seems to be an issue.

 

It could be that your dd is unsure and intimidated. It's a very different environment than our homes and I bet that it's natural for there to be an adjustment period for the children.

 

And as unfair as it sounds, many teachers have preconceived notions about homeschoolers. Not all of the kids that come from a homeschooling family are well-behaved, educated children who are eager and ready to learn. It can be frustrating for the teachers and so that's how they come to the stereotype. Hopefully, that is not the case with your dd teacher.

 

I hope you can figure it all out soon and that your daughter enjoys the rest of the year.

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I don't think it hurts to ask the teacher for clarification in a non confrontational way. Just a casual,"dd is struggling with this and that, she can't see the homework board but doesn't want to get up and disrupt class. can you help me find a solution?".

 

 

 

This is spot on advice. I just went through the whole "man, I don't want to come off as that crazy over-involved ex-homeschooler mom" thing myself. I bit the bullet and contacted the teacher (much about some of the same stuff that you spoke of) and was met with utter friendliness and understanding. Things are going much more smoothly now.

 

I really urge you to contact the teacher in the manner that Cadam suggested. Trust me. :)

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Sadly, it's the nondisruptive kids who are intimidated by the early-in-the-year authoritative teacher. The disruptive kids -- the ones the teacher means to send a message to -- probably aren't fazed one bit.

 

That's what I've noticed, too.

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A little off topic, but have you had her eyes tested? Or is there something blocking her view of the homework chart.

 

Yes, we knew she would eventually need glasses but the dr thought we could go a while longer. I think we could have if she was still hsing. She goes back to dr in October and will probably get glasses then.

 

I finally just sent an email to teacher and explained that dd seems to be really worried about getting up during class or asking too many questions. Dd said teacher talked with her this morning and she feels better about things. I just feel really out of my element and second guess when or if I should say anything.

 

Thanks for all the replies!

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Yes, we knew she would eventually need glasses but the dr thought we could go a while longer. I think we could have if she was still hsing. She goes back to dr in October and will probably get glasses then.

 

I finally just sent an email to teacher and explained that dd seems to be really worried about getting up during class or asking too many questions. Dd said teacher talked with her this morning and she feels better about things. I just feel really out of my element and second guess when or if I should say anything.

 

Thanks for all the replies!

 

I'm glad you contacted the teacher! Fifth grade can be a difficult time even if you're not going through a major transition. I remember changing schools about that age and moving from a relaxed, informal school to a formal, regimented school. The second school was a better fit in that it was more challenging, but the first few weeks of trying to figure out all the rules was excruciating. After all these years my palms sweat just thinking about it. I remember the principal explaining the school's way of doing things to me and asking if I had questions the first day. I don't think it occurred to her that we should have had a two-part interview. I had no clue on day one which questions to ask. I was also too shy to ask the teacher and other students aren't usually helpful to newbies at that age. And, come to think of it I got my first pair of glasses about that time which helped, too. My mother is a dear person, but it didn't occur to her that it was ok to make suggestions to the school--they were the experts!

 

IMO, you were right to contact the teacher and I'm glad she understood. I hope your daughter has a great year. I sympathize with the second-guessing; I'm an expert at that.

 

Martha

(former afterschooler who still stops by occasionally)

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I don't think I would wait till October to get glasses if your dd can't see the assignments. It can affect more than just reading the board, games on the playground, see movies, nature etc. I a little sensitive because I was a kid who couldn't see. I remember being amazed that you could see the individual leaves on the tree instead of a green blur once I had glasses.

 

ETA - I just realized it is probably an insurance thing having to wait a certain time. I hope it all works out.

Edited by OrganicAnn
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I don't think I would wait till October to get glasses if your dd can't see the assignments. It can affect more than just reading the board, games on the playground, see movies, nature etc. I a little sensitive because I was a kid who couldn't see. I remember being amazed that you could see the individual leaves on the tree instead of a green blur once I had glasses.

 

ETA - I just realized it is probably an insurance thing having to wait a certain time. I hope it all works out.

 

The leaves are what I noticed, too.

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