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The lyrics to this song is profoundly disturbing.


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"I Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem/Rihanna

 

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

 

I can't tell you what it really is

I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now there's a steel knife

In my windpipe

I can't breathe

But I still fight

While I can fight

As long as the wrong feels right

It's like I'm in flight

High of a love

Drunk from the hate

It's like I'm huffing paint

And I love it the more that I suffer

I sufficate

And right before im about to drown

She resuscitates me

She ****ing hates me

And I love it

Wait

Where you going

I'm leaving you

No you ain't

Come back

We're running right back

Here we go again

It's so insane

Cause when it's going good

It's going great

I'm Superman

With the wind in his bag

She's Lois Lane

But when it's bad

It's awful

I feel so ashamed

I snap

Who's that dude

I don't even know his name

I laid hands on her

I'll never stoop so low again

I guess I don't know my own strength

 

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

 

You ever love somebody so much

You can barely breathe

When you're with them

You meet

And neither one of you

Even know what hit 'em

Got that warm fuzzy feeling

Yeah them chills

Used to get 'em

Now you're getting ****ing sick

Of looking at 'em

You swore you've never hit 'em

Never do nothing to hurt 'em

Now you're in each other's face

Spewing venom

And these words

When you spit 'em

You push

Pull each other's hair

Scratch, claw, bit 'em

Throw 'em down

Pin 'em

So lost in the moments

When you're in 'em

It's the rage that took over

It controls you both

So they say it's best

To go your separate ways

Guess that they don't know ya

Cause today

That was yesterday

Yesterday is over

It's a different day

Sound like broken records

Playin' over

But you promised her

Next time you'll show restraint

You don't get another chance

Life is no Nintendo game

But you lied again

Now you get to watch her leave

Out the window

Guess that's why they call it window pane

 

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

 

Now I know we said things

Did things

That we didn't mean

And we fall back

Into the same patterns

Same routine

But your temper's just as bad

As mine is

You're the same as me

But when it comes to love

You're just as blinded

Baby please come back

It wasn't you

Baby it was me

Maybe our relationship

Isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens

When a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is

I love you too much

To walk away though

Come inside

Pick up your bags off the sidewalk

Don't you hear sincerity

In my voice when I talk

Told you this is my fault

Look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed

I'll aim my fist

At the dry wall

Next time

There will be no next time

I apologize

Even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games

I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to ****ing leave again

I'mma tie her to the bed

And set the house on fire

 

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

 

 

 

It has been #1 in the charts six weeks running. The video is equally disturbing and the fact that Rihanna is a abuse victim herself makes it almost unbearable. What in the world is wrong with our society? Why in the world would anyone have produced it, why is it played, why is it so popular? I can only see it as a glorification of DV and I really can't see it as justifiable in any way. Also, I hate that they used Dominic Monaghan (Charlie) for the male part in the video.

 

 

Here is a link to the wiki article on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_the_Way_You_Lie

 

And just one of many commentaries: http://www.nola.com/music/index.ssf/2010/08/is_violent_rihanna-eminem_song.html

 

I discussed this with my 13 year old. I explained to her how disturbing I found the song and she replied that it wasn't meant to be interpreted literally but as a metaphore for the characters feelings. So we further discussed why even that was a problem and that a relationship that made you feel that way is not healthy. She said she realized that and we went on to have a pretty good discussion that we might not have otherwise had but still there are few things in my life that have turned my stomach as much. You can't get away from this song either. You can hear this chart topper in stores, on many radio stations, kids cell phones, etc.

Edited by KidsHappen
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Ew.

 

Just went to watch the video. Sigh. There was a chance at a redemptive moment or a freedom moment - but no, the woman doesn't get away.

 

I suspect it has nothing to do with the singers or what they want or what they think. Let's face it - most are not exactly intellectual deep thinkers anyway. It's their agents & PR folks and the execs who are pushing the boundaries, getting the chat up. Make something controversial enough, you get everyone talking about it - that's the name of the game.

 

yuck.

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The lyrics you posted are disturbing. I've never heard the song though. I don't do music videos, and I only listen to a couple of stations on the Sirius which would not be playing that song.

 

I had to look up the video as I have never seen it before and I was wondering if perhaps it put a different spin on the song (it doesn't). I hear it everywhere though, when my dd runs the dial, out in public, blaring from kids' cell phones and Ipods. Maybe I wouldn't hear it so much if my teen wasn't the age she is or maybe I just wouldn't have paid as much attention to the lyrics but now I guess I have a filter I didn't use to have.

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The lyrics to most songs today are disturbing. CD's are our friend here. Whats sad though is that the kids PS friends can't understand why my kids can't listen to the radio for the most part.

 

I find many songs inappropriate but I can't say that I have ever heard one quite so disturbing. I find it much easier to handle and discuss sexually provocative or explicit lyrics than extremely violent ones. And to think my parents had a hard time with rock & roll. It seems relatively tame in comparison.

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While I do not allow my son to listen to live radio other than Kids Place Live, and I would not allow him to listen to this song, I have to say that I really like this song. Also I agree with your daughter when she said,

it was [not] meant to be interpreted literally but as a metaphore for the character feelings
and I think she was very insightful to understand that point.

 

The problem is that physical abuse and abusive relationships are a reality in our society and many people can relate to the lyrics and the feelings portrayed in the song. I don't think it's glorifying it or making any of it ok, but it is showing (especially with the two artists involved), that you can change, you can get out of it (they did), it doesn't have to be this way, and can be deathly destructive if you don't.

 

I think it's an adult song, just as their are adult movies with adult themes and it's not appropriate for children. It should definitely be rated R and I don't appreciate having to hear songs like this and see inappropriate images in stores and on billboards all over town with my son either.

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Sheesh. I am so bad about listening to lyrics. My dd12 was blaring this song in her room yesterday. I went to her door to tell her to turn it down, but I thought I'd be that cool mom that remembers when I used to blare Van Halen and Boy George. (Yes, you read that right...:D)

 

Looks like we need to monitor the music more around here. That song makes me sick to my stomach. I had no idea what it was about.

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I'll be the odd man out. I love the song. (I also love pretty much all of Eminem's stuff, but that's beside the point.)

 

To me, it's an expression of how intense abuse is. It details the unchanging actions of the abuser, even when they genuinely intend to change. It describes the defeatedness of the abused. It's not a song of advocacy. It's a song of reality and truth, and Rhianna is the current face and voice for awareness. When I listen to it, I hear the pain.

 

Which isn't to say that young (or older) people will interpret it that way.

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I thought the song was to show how disturbing domestic violence is! Am I wrong? Anyone who hears that song, can see how disturbing the relationship is, and hopefully will examine theirs if they are in a toxic relationship.

 

I definitely don't think children should hear it, and if my kids are in the car, I turn it down. They did hear a part, and I told them the people in the song are in a sick relationship and it's not normal. For older teenagers, parents could use it as a teaching moment, actually. The problem is that some people teens probably think it's cool.

 

ETA: I actually have it on my MP3 player so I can listen to it without the kids hearing it.

Edited by Jinnah
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I'll be the odd man out. I love the song. (I also love pretty much all of Eminem's stuff, but that's beside the point.)

 

To me, it's an expression of how intense abuse is. It details the unchanging actions of the abuser, even when they genuinely intend to change. It describes the defeatedness of the abused. It's not a song of advocacy. It's a song of reality and truth, and Rhianna is the current face and voice for awareness. When I listen to it, I hear the pain.

 

Which isn't to say that young (or older) people will interpret it that way.

 

 

:iagree:Well said.

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I'll be the odd man out. I love the song. (I also love pretty much all of Eminem's stuff, but that's beside the point.)

 

To me, it's an expression of how intense abuse is. It details the unchanging actions of the abuser, even when they genuinely intend to change. It describes the defeatedness of the abused. It's not a song of advocacy. It's a song of reality and truth, and Rhianna is the current face and voice for awareness. When I listen to it, I hear the pain.

 

Which isn't to say that young (or older) people will interpret it that way.

 

I haven't heard the song but after reading the lyrics I have to agree with you. Unfortunately, I wonder if the song will do any good. I hope both singers are talking about the song and what it means.

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I also love that song, it give me chills every time I listen to it. I agree the lyrics are haunting and the first couple of times I heard it I kind of felt the same way-why are they promoting domestic violence? But then I realized that it's not exactly promoting, its bringing out the grim darkness of the mindset of an abuser and the abused. How utterly twisted their thoughts are, yet how strangely normal they feel it is.

 

I've never seen the video, but I'm off to google it now!

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I also just want to add that I think having Rihanna in the song is what makes the song feel so real. Since she has been a victim of domestic abuse and from what I've heard Eminem has been on the other side of the fence as abuser it brings together voices that have lived the pain, the drama, and the darkness of it.

 

 

I certainly don't think its appropriate for kids, but I don't think any songs with curse words are.

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I don't think it's promoting domestic violence. Or condoning. To me it seems hopeless. I thought it was very depressing, but unfortunately it's catchy enough that I could see it being addicting. I think it's saying that the abuser will never change, and his actions could result in death. But that it's hopeless to get out of that kind of relationship. She's still with him in the end. I have a friend that I helped after she fled an abusive relationship. It's not sexy. It's not hot. I don't think the video or lyrics get across the message that it's not okay to be an abuser or stay a victim.

 

As a Christian, I wish I didn't see it... but better to be informed. I'm one that doesn't pay attention to lyrics too closely and might have gotten hooked (I secretly like rap a little).

 

The youtube video has been seen 64 MILLION times.:001_huh::glare:

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I prefer the video that features Meri and what'shisname from Lord of the Rings..........

 

:lol:

 

Eminem has been disturbing since his start, but we tend to skip over most new music on the radio so the kids had missed this one (until we stumbled upon the spoof video). Most music is disturbing when you pay attention to the lyrics (that country Christmas song about getting his dead mother shoes bothers me worse than this one).

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I'll say up front that I'm a big Eminem fan.

 

I think that this song (and especially the video) do glorify domestic violence. I think there are a lot of searching young people who aspire to find this kind of intense, drama-filled relationship because they think that that would be the height of love. Wasn't it St. Augustine who wrote about the 'God-shaped hole' we are all longing to fill?

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I'll be the odd man out. I love the song. (I also love pretty much all of Eminem's stuff, but that's beside the point.)

 

To me, it's an expression of how intense abuse is. It details the unchanging actions of the abuser, even when they genuinely intend to change. It describes the defeatedness of the abused. It's not a song of advocacy. It's a song of reality and truth, and Rhianna is the current face and voice for awareness. When I listen to it, I hear the pain.

 

Which isn't to say that young (or older) people will interpret it that way.

 

I'll be the odd man out with you. I love a lot of Eminem's songs, including that one. That doesn't mean I'll let my young children listen to it. I think he's amazingly talented, even though his lyrics (obviously) aren't for everyone! :D

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I think there are a lot of searching young people who aspire to find this kind of intense, drama-filled relationship because they think that that would be the height of love.

 

Yes, this concerns me. So much of pop music today is about love/hate relationships, heartache, pain, heart break, how love never last, etc. My dd and I also talked about this and I explained to her that real love was not like this. That sometimes when young adults start dating they have a hard time finding the right person and beginning a mature relationship but eventually they grow and mature and find the person for them and that then love is more stable and secure and lasting. It isn't always heartache and pain. I explained that her two older sisters were really lucky in that they sort of had long lasting courtships that lead to very stable, long lasting relatioships without all the heartache and pain. She said that she knew that but she didn't want that. :001_huh: I asked her why in the world not and she said it seemed too romantic movie/happily ever after and that perhaps her sisters couldn't really appreciate what they had because they never knew anything different. She said that when she found true love that she really wanted to be able to appreciate it and she wasn't sure she could do that without having some less to compare it to. She is an incredibly deep thinker for her age but it worries me that out culture is fostering this kind of thinking. I can only hope that her two sisters, and her father and I have a greater long term influence on her than popular culture.

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listen to some rap and plenty of the pop stations. I didn't read all the lyrics. I'm not a fan of eminem; I don't like that kind of music.

 

However, I do want to comment that I was thinking eminem was an abuse victim as well, not an abuser. I could be wrong.

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listen to some rap and plenty of the pop stations. I didn't read all the lyrics. I'm not a fan of eminem; I don't like that kind of music.

 

However, I do want to comment that I was thinking eminem was an abuse victim as well, not an abuser. I could be wrong.

I think he's been on both sides of that.

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Disturbing, sure, but reality. In all honesty, sadly, it reminded me of my first marriage. He is not talking about abusing her...he is talking about them abusing each other - "your temper is just as bad as mine" "caught up in the moments when your in 'em." It really depicts very well the violence (on both ends) in my first marriage - sad, but true. We were young and stupid and it was sad. That is why I got out. I am not a violent person, but anyone can be pushed. I think that is what the song is about - an abusive, yet addictive relationship and how really wrong it is.

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listen to some rap and plenty of the pop stations. I didn't read all the lyrics. I'm not a fan of eminem; I don't like that kind of music.

 

However, I do want to comment that I was thinking eminem was an abuse victim as well, not an abuser. I could be wrong.

 

He may have been an abuse victim but he was also an abuser. I acutally don't have near as much problem with his part of the song explaining the thought processes and POV of the abuser but I have a great deal of problem with Rihanna's part of the song saying that it is alright and that she likes it especially given that she is a real life abuse victim.

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He may have been an abuse victim but he was also an abuser. I acutally don't have near as much problem with his part of the song explaining the thought processes and POV of the abuser but I have a great deal of problem with Rihanna's part of the song saying that it is alright and that she likes it especially given that she is a real life abuse victim.

 

I don't doubt that she DID feel that way while she was still in the relationship. I don't doubt that most abused people do.

 

Unfortunately, we as a society don't like to reflect on that much.

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We aren't rap listeners so I doubt we have heard this song.

 

I don't usually hear lyrics so most go right over me. I do know that dh listens to some Johnny Cash songs that are violent though I can't think of any about domestic violence. But music lyrics are poetry. Just like someone may write a novel with characters doing things they would never do or never condone, so someone can write such a song.

 

I was reading something stupid lately about how Katy Perry never did kiss a girl before she was singing I kissed a Girl. I have no idea if she has or not but just like Johhny Cash wasn't a prisoner in Folsom Prison, other writers may be writing songs about stuff they haven't experienced.

 

I doubt I will hear this song unless they play a cleaned up version in a store since about the only new music I listen to is Party Favorites and this doesn't seem like the type of song to appear there.

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I have to admit that Rihanna's part is catchy and easy on the ears as long as you don't pay attention to the words but it is her part of the song that I have the most problem with. It seems like she is the one condoning abuse, saying that it is alright, that she likes it, love it. I really see this as a problem especially given her real life history. I really think that people can take that as an endorsement, feeling that she must know what she is talking about and therefore it must not be so bad or maybe even is desireable.

 

Perhaps she does and that is why I can't relate to it. I was never exposed to violence growing up, nor have I ever been in a violent realtionship. I can understand and appreciate Eminem putting words to what an abuser is thinking and feeling as I don't know that that side of DV is much explored but I just can't understand or relate to Rihanna's message in the song. I don't see any redemption or release in the song. The violence consumes and kills them both.

 

I have been in an abusive relationship just not a violent one. But I never thought it was ok nor did I like it. I just didn't know any better. Even still I left because I was miserable. I don't get the whole love/hate thing. My hubby and I have a very intense, deep love that has survived many things but never any hate invloved. I think that even if I could relate to the song it would be problematic. I guess I just don't understand the draw. :confused:

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I find many songs inappropriate but I can't say that I have ever heard one quite so disturbing. I find it much easier to handle and discuss sexually provocative or explicit lyrics than extremely violent ones. And to think my parents had a hard time with rock & roll. It seems relatively tame in comparison.

 

 

 

 

My brother and SIL, a few weeks ago, one of them posted this on the others wall and both commented on how it sounded "Just like us!". At the time I had not heard the song. However, I do know that they have a very up and down relationship. After I heard the song and saw the video, I was like :confused:. It is NOT A GOOD THING that you compare this song to your relationship!! I think it would be time to cut your losses and move on if this song speaks to you that way!!

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I don't doubt that she DID feel that way while she was still in the relationship. I don't doubt that most abused people do.

 

Unfortunately, we as a society don't like to reflect on that much.

 

I definitely should have tried to word the above better. So much for multi-tasking!

The psychology of abuse is way too complex for lil ol' me to boil down. I do feel it's represented well in the song. And the fact that so many find it disturbing is a GOOD thing. Like a pp mentioned, happily remarking "Wow, that sounds like us" is NOT healthy.

 

Personally, I don't think music should be expected to always have a happy ending, any more than the evening news should be expected to. It is what it is.

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To me, it's an expression of how intense abuse is. It details the unchanging actions of the abuser, even when they genuinely intend to change. It describes the defeatedness of the abused. It's not a song of advocacy. It's a song of reality and truth, and Rhianna is the current face and voice for awareness. When I listen to it, I hear the pain.

 

Which isn't to say that young (or older) people will interpret it that way.

 

:iagree: It's an artistic expression of "the dirty dance." The cycle of abuse that involves not only the abuser, but also the victim. It is disturbing. It is supposed to be disturbing. Whether or not it is helpful to the cause isn't the point. Music at its core is an expression of the pain (or joy, but in this case pain), not a solution to the problem. Sometimes a song comes along that expresses a solution, but most of what you hear is the deep emotion that is connected with the problem. It's the reason that even as a Christian, I could never walk away from secular music. I never want to lose touch with the emotions and experiences that go hand in hand with living in this world.

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I had to look up the video as I have never seen it before and I was wondering if perhaps it put a different spin on the song (it doesn't). I hear it everywhere though, when my dd runs the dial, out in public, blaring from kids' cell phones and Ipods. Maybe I wouldn't hear it so much if my teen wasn't the age she is or maybe I just wouldn't have paid as much attention to the lyrics but now I guess I have a filter I didn't use to have.

 

I find the fact that kids are listening to the song more disturbing than the fact that the song was written and produced in the first place. I think Eminem is a talented writer and that the song is beautiful but yes, quite disturbing. And certainly NOT a kid's song.

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I like the song. And I think a lot of people forget that the purpose of art isn't to make you feel happy- it's to make you feel. The song definitely evokes a lot of emotion and discussion from people, so in my opinion, job well done. If the song was about a woman who hated her abuser and got away as soon as she could, I doubt we'd all be sitting around talking about it.

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:iagree: It's an artistic expression of "the dirty dance." The cycle of abuse that involves not only the abuser, but also the victim. It is disturbing. It is supposed to be disturbing. Whether or not it is helpful to the cause isn't the point. Music at its core is an expression of the pain (or joy, but in this case pain), not a solution to the problem. Sometimes a song comes along that expresses a solution, but most of what you hear is the deep emotion that is connected with the problem. It's the reason that even as a Christian, I could never walk away from secular music. I never want to lose touch with the emotions and experiences that go hand in hand with living in this world.

 

Thank you. This was actually helpful. Intellecually, I knew this and it is easy to see in songs that I can relate to that others might not necessarily be able to. I guess this was just harder to see in something I couldn't relate to. While I might not agree with the message I feel is being communicated, I can not argue with the fact that this may indeed be what she is feeling or even say whether or not she should be feeling this way. It certainly expresses deep emotion and perhaps it's purpose is to be disturbing, in which case it is doing its job rather well.

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I find the fact that kids are listening to the song more disturbing than the fact that the song was written and produced in the first place. I think Eminem is a talented writer and that the song is beautiful but yes, quite disturbing. And certainly NOT a kid's song.

 

I'd blame that on the parents though, not the performers, as some seem intent on doing. The parents need to monitor these things on their end, not just expect radio stations to censor their music to protect every child with unattentive parents.

Edited by Mergath
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I haven't read the whole thread but am I the only one who noticed it won the Teen Choice Award this year? Really the TEEN award? Good grief! I listened to some pretty crazy stuff as a teen but I can guarantee that would have made my stomach turn. I don't think I could have watched the video either.

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I'd blame that on the parents though, not the performers, as some seem intent on doing. The parents need to monitor these things on their end, not just expect radio stations to censor their music to protect every child with unattentive parents.

 

Oh I completely agree. I have a lot of music, and am careful about what my kids listen to. I put that responsibility solely on the parent. There's no excuse for not knowing what's on a CD you buy for your kid. You can look up lyrics online, there are explicit warnings on the CD itself, there are reviews in magazines and again, online.

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I find many songs inappropriate but I can't say that I have ever heard one quite so disturbing. I find it much easier to handle and discuss sexually provocative or explicit lyrics than extremely violent ones. And to think my parents had a hard time with rock & roll. It seems relatively tame in comparison.

 

Little wonder that many (not all) young people have so little hope for a good marriage and family life. If you're humming these lyrics all day long you begin to believe them.

As to why it was produced? Money, as usual. There was a time when someone would have put the mental health of our young people before making a dollar.

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Little wonder that many (not all) young people have so little hope for a good marriage and family life. If you're humming these lyrics all day long you begin to believe them.

As to why it was produced? Money, as usual. There was a time when someone would have put the mental health of our young people before making a dollar.

 

 

I don't know, I'd consider the Twilight books more of a threat. Teens are smart enough, I think, to realize that this song depicts an unhealthy relationship. Maybe the song will even help a few people avoid a relationship like this by simply being able to recognize it. The Twilight books, on the other hand, make controlling, unhealthy relationships seem so... appealing.

 

Only somewhat related, I know, but I thought I'd throw that out there.

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I sympathize. Sometimes I go :banghead: at some of the things that have entered DD13's music repertory. She doesn't listen to these particular "artists", thank God, but some of the songs she listens to and I've talked to her about are probably even more problematic than the text you put.

 

(Warning: the following examples include graphic violence, murdered dead bodies, lyrics and behavior that is extremely degrading of women and, which might still be problematic for some, expression of strongly Zionist identity - decide for yourself if you'd like to see it; all videos are subbed.)

Take a look at this, it makes me want to literally slap some sense into any young lady that is willing to listen to that, let alone dance at something as degrading of women as that and sing it to herself. That one is on our home's black list and CANNOT be played the way that it's heard (which includes listening to it loudly on iphone the way it's heard in the room), because it makes me go ballistic inside. Especially 1:20-1:40. But no, Giuditta claims it has "a great rhythm", and she listens to it because of it. :rolleyes:

 

Then she likes this one, and while it's a completely different "level" of the song, it's still just so very violent (not to mention the video) and language is an issue. I'm more tolerant of this one, since it does address some important issues and isn't inherently degrading as the previous one, but it makes me wonder whether a 13-year-old should be listening to it.

 

And to think that those same artists were able to produce something like this, or this, both of which are songs that promote peace and strong character, or something as good as this song on holocaust, which is as disturbing as it should be, but truly an amazing expression. I don't have problems with those, and it's all the same group of people as that first terrible link.

 

Personally I choose to allow most of it, but to talk it through. My reasoning is that I'm only feeding the beast and creating a "forbidden fruit syndrom" if I forbid it all, but yeah, teens can be tough with regards to their musical choices. I suppose they need this type of strong emotions in their lives, and even though I'm not sure it's very healthy for them to listen to exclusively such a content and identify with it too much, I decided not to panic as long as I see my kids' repertory is a balanced one, including actual music in addition to stuff like my first link or the one from the first post.

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Stacey in La wrote

 

Johnny Cash WAS a prisoner though. He did spend time in prison, just not sure which one.

 

Actually he never spent time in prison as a prisoner. He did free concerts in prison. He did spend a few nights in jail but each time it was no more than one night at a time. I am not saying that he didn't have problems- he was addicted to drugs among other issues. But he wasn't a felon.

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