Reward System For Dawdlers

[AllBoys]

Last year was so difficult that for the first time I am dreading starting school. My boys, 12 and 9, dragged out everything I asked them to do every day and we ended up not finishing a lot of what we could have completed, as well as missed a lot of fun.

 

We have been discussing what might help to make things better and they suggested a point system for their chores, completing school work, points tied to doing well on assignments, finishing on time, etc. I am happy to do that but I am also concerned after listening to them that it might get too complicated.

 

I need to figure out how this might work, both the earning of the points and the spending of points. I would like to have everything spelled out in a very clear way before we begin. Does anyone have suggestions on how to implement a system like this?

 

Thanks!

[KrissiK]

This is just my personal opinion for what works in my family. So, take it for what it's worth. I have found with my 7 year old DS who hates doing his school work is that a reward system does not work. He doesn't care. What works is this... "School work comes first. You may not play videos or play outside with the neighbors until your school work is done." and then I leave it at that. If he is sitting at the table all the day long, then so be it. It drives me absolutely nuts and it's all I can do to not just scream at him and say, "What is wrong with you? You'd rather just sit there like a lump than get your work done and go out and play?" But, I bite my tongue.:001_smile: We have new neighbors and he loves to play with them, so it's very motivational for him to get his school work and chores done so he can go play with them. Most of the time it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[MGK]

i have never used a system like you describe, but I found that setting a timer and saying "lets see how much you can do in 30 minutes" caused my children to work more diligently and not get overwhelmed by a page full of work to complete.

[elinnea]

Last year was so difficult that for the first time I am dreading starting school. My boys, 12 and 9, dragged out everything I asked them to do every day and we ended up not finishing a lot of what we could have completed, as well as missed a lot of fun.

Thanks!

 

 

I could have written this and my two boys are the same ages as yours! I too have thought about some reward system but I haven't implemented anything because it does seem like it could get complicated. Also there is a part of me that thinks you shouldn't get rewarded for doing what you're supposed to be doing, kwim?

 

I'm at a loss though. We started school this week and already the boys are pushing my buttons by dawdling and not focusing. I've found when I am really on them then they will stay focused but I have a 2 year old too so I can't always do that. I hope someone else will have some really great ideas.

[AllBoys]

This is just my personal opinion for what works in my family. So, take it for what it's worth. I have found with my 7 year old DS who hates doing his school work is that a reward system does not work. He doesn't care. What works is this... "School work comes first. You may not play videos or play outside with the neighbors until your school work is done." and then I leave it at that. If he is sitting at the table all the day long, then so be it. It drives me absolutely nuts and it's all I can do to not just scream at him and say, "What is wrong with you? You'd rather just sit there like a lump than get your work done and go out and play?" But, I bite my tongue.:001_smile: We have new neighbors and he loves to play with them, so it's very motivational for him to get his school work and chores done so he can go play with them. Most of the time it works, sometimes it doesn't.

 

This is what I did last year and unfortunately it didn't work at all. It was painful for everyone. I feel like I need to find something else that would work for them. I am hoping that since the idea was their inspiration they will be more motivated.

[Irishmommy]

I've tried all kinds of things with my complainer/dwadler, until finally this worked...

I went into his room and took all of his favorite stuff and put it in a box in my room and told him that he can take one thing out each day he has a good day of school (meaning little/no complaining and attending to tasks). He's worked really hard this week to get his stuff back. Anytime I would use a point or positive system, he'd lose interest in whatever it was that I was offering after the first day or two.

[Mallory]

Did you see this thread from last week?

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=205367

 

Not really a points system but tells how we encourage cheerful and timely work!

[Homeschooling6]

Can you make him accountable for his actions. Use index cards one for each subject. Put them in an envelop or library pocket. As he completed each subject cheerfully and without complaining he puts it in a second envelope or pocket. He can earn lets say computer time for each subject he earns five minutes. If he completed three subjects happily then he gets 15 minutes that day or can save them. He also has to give you five minutes back for the subjects he didn't complete or complained.

 

Another idea is use what he likes. My kids like those plastic toy soldiers. For every subject he does cheerfully and without complaining he gets a soldier but for Evey subject he whinnied about you take one back. Do this for 30 days to create a habit.

 

Or (using the soldiers again) for two weeks only give him soldiers for the subjects he did cheerfully but after the two weeks you tell him that he can continue to earn the soldiers but for every subject he complains about he has to give you a soldier.

 

Maybe he likes baseball cards use that.

[Mom in High Heels]

This is just my personal opinion for what works in my family. So, take it for what it's worth. I have found with my 7 year old DS who hates doing his school work is that a reward system does not work. He doesn't care. What works is this... "School work comes first. You may not play videos or play outside with the neighbors until your school work is done." and then I leave it at that. If he is sitting at the table all the day long, then so be it. .

 

:iagree: This exactly! Reward systems don't work for us. I started using a timer and if he doesn't finish by the time it goes off (I'm very generous with the time he gets), the work gets put away and he has to do whatever is left over when we're done with the rest of school. He HATES this. It does motivate him though and he gets his work done and he almost always finishes his work before the timer. Taking his free time away is a big deal.

[dasilva324]

I'm glad to hear I am not alone. My ds (6) is a dawdler and it can frustrate me to no end. I have explained that if school work is not done than fun stuff can't happen like fieldtrips, playtime, etc. Sometimes it works and yes sometimes it doesn't. For her I think it's a matter of me being consistent with our schedule and consistent with the consequences of not cooperating with me to do schoolwork. I'm SO thankful that she's 6 and I have time to work with her (and pray for her) about this. ;)

[abrightmom]

:iagree: This exactly! Reward systems don't work for us. I started using a timer and if he doesn't finish by the time it goes off (I'm very generous with the time he gets), the work gets put away and he has to do whatever is left over when we're done with the rest of school. He HATES this. It does motivate him though and he gets his work done and he almost always finishes his work before the timer. Taking his free time away is a big deal.

This is how we're approaching it with the Dawdler in the family . . . I am going to assign unfinished work as "homework" just like he'd get in the brick & mortar school. I am a reasonable, fair, balanced Mom and I won't ask him to do more than he can handle :D. If he gets stuck with "homework" it's his fault for wasting time! He does love that free time too so here's hoping . . . :001_smile:

[homeschoolally]

My dawdler has made an amazing turn-around by using this free online visual timer--http://www.online-stopwatch.com/

 

Through trial and error, we've figured out about how much he can do in each subject in 15 minutes, and I assign in 15 minute increments.

 

It has been life changing--seriously.

 

I don't need a reward now--because the reward is the free time he has gained by doing his work efficiently. I am also excited because I think he is learning the discipline he needs to stay on task the rest of his life. I think it is also great practice for timed tests.:001_smile: