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I don't want to pass judgement....


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.....but essentially I am in this case. Typically I don't care (in the general sense) how one homeschools their child, what curriculum they use etc. To each his own is generally my attitude.

 

That said, there is a mom on one of my yahoo groups that drives me batty.....to the point I might drop the yahoo group because she tends to dominate it as the group "expert" on all things curriculum yet she bounces from book to book, method to method sometimes as often as every few weeks. I just wish someone would say, "Look lady you have never finished a curriculum or given any of them a sufficient amount of time to even be discussing this. You act as if you know all, but every other day you are asking questions about what to do with your ds, who frankly sounds like a brat and needs to be made to work on something longer than 5 minutes! Frankly, with the 25 emails a day you send I don't know when you have time for school anyway."

 

She gives advice to newbies, corrects and disagrees with others who say something positive about a curriculum she deems unworthy. It's really annoying to have to delete all her emails to get to stuff I might want to read. I don't even know this person IRL- and what I know of her is only what I see her post to this yahoo group so I will admit I don't have a full picture and I don't know exactly why I let her irk me. I think she irks me because it seems from the way she talks that she is shortchanging her kid and not teaching him a work ethic. Anything that is "too hard" gets tossed and she looks for something else. The kid is working her!! Everything is "too hard" and consequently the boy is always between curriculums and not getting much done (her words). Sigh. Whatever. It is none of my business - I just needed to get it out.:tongue_smilie:

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I think I'd find a way to counter each and every message. Quote her if possible and ask all innocently "FunkyScreenName, didn't you only use Curriculum X for 2 weeks with one child? I'm not sure that is sufficient time to review all the wonderful aspects of Curriculum X. OP, we have been using Curriculum X for 7 years now with all our children and it is _______, _______, and _______. " Then go on to how the person asking the original question can find more information about it. Even if you've never seen Curriculum X, or Curriculums A, B, Y and Z

 

It may take a bit of work on your part, but eventually your nemeses will get the point.

 

But that is just me, and I'm a bit b----y that way.

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I think I'd find a way to counter each and every message. Quote her if possible and ask all innocently "FunkyScreenName, didn't you only use Curriculum X for 2 weeks with one child? I'm not sure that is sufficient time to review all the wonderful aspects of Curriculum X. OP, we have been using Curriculum X for 7 years now with all our children and it is _______, _______, and _______. " Then go on to how the person asking the original question can find more information about it. Even if you've never seen Curriculum X, or Curriculums A, B, Y and Z

 

It may take a bit of work on your part, but eventually your nemeses will get the point.

 

But that is just me, and I'm a bit b----y that way.

 

:iagree:

I was thinking the very same thing. Find a way to casually disagree with her, and offer a counter viewpoint.

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I think I'd find a way to counter each and every message. Quote her if possible and ask all innocently "FunkyScreenName, didn't you only use Curriculum X for 2 weeks with one child? I'm not sure that is sufficient time to review all the wonderful aspects of Curriculum X. OP, we have been using Curriculum X for 7 years now with all our children and it is _______, _______, and _______. " Then go on to how the person asking the original question can find more information about it. Even if you've never seen Curriculum X, or Curriculums A, B, Y and Z

 

It may take a bit of work on your part, but eventually your nemeses will get the point.

 

But that is just me, and I'm a bit b----y that way.

 

:iagree: You can be like your own personal Snopes for homeschooling.

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I think I'd find a way to counter each and every message. Quote her if possible and ask all innocently "FunkyScreenName, didn't you only use Curriculum X for 2 weeks with one child? I'm not sure that is sufficient time to review all the wonderful aspects of Curriculum X. OP, we have been using Curriculum X for 7 years now with all our children and it is _______, _______, and _______. " Then go on to how the person asking the original question can find more information about it. Even if you've never seen Curriculum X, or Curriculums A, B, Y and Z

 

It may take a bit of work on your part, but eventually your nemeses will get the point.

 

But that is just me, and I'm a bit b----y that way.

 

 

And toss in there that one should "try to commit to a curriculum for a reasonable amount of time -- at least half a year -- before changing. Flip-flopping all over the place with curricula is such a terrible waste of your child's education." :D

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I left a very large, formerly wonderful online group because of a few people like this who, after a few years, destroyed the group. It's not just their know-it-all attitude towards EVERYTHING, but they are so hateful when anyone disagrees, no matter how politely. Many of the "good" people moved on, in part because of it. Two years ago, I joined up with a few others from the group and made our own list.

 

You're right, I don't think there's much you can do. Does your email allow you to block a specific sender? Then at least you won't receive direct emails from her--just snippets that someone else might include, at least it's better than all of her comments.

 

There are always going to be an obnoxious person somewhere . . .

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I had to get off an email list that I really felt I needed support wise. I put it off and put it off; but in the end, I just felt I couldn't continue. I felt she and I were constantly on opposite sides of the coin which would be fine if both of us could have couched it as opinion, choice, and equally as valid; but that isn't what happened.

 

But I'm not innocent. There is one topic...

 

Anyway, hopefully we can usually overlook some things and appreciate opinions of people other times. But sometimes, we just have to distance ourselves.

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I left a very large, formerly wonderful online group because of a few people like this who, after a few years, destroyed the group. It's not just their know-it-all attitude towards EVERYTHING, but they are so hateful when anyone disagrees, no matter how politely. Many of the "good" people moved on, in part because of it. Two years ago, I joined up with a few others from the group and made our own list.

 

You're right, I don't think there's much you can do. Does your email allow you to block a specific sender? Then at least you won't receive direct emails from her--just snippets that someone else might include, at least it's better than all of her comments.

 

There are always going to be an obnoxious person somewhere . . .

Kristine...Is that the same group that "banned" me because I wrote someone off list and that person complained! LOL

 

btw...are you taking new members on your new list?

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The thing with know-it-alls...they are convinced that they do. I encountered the same type (maybe even the same woman!), she was on every single board/forum I was on and would constantly change curricula but claim to be a certain type of homeschooler as if she created the ideology herself.

 

I finally called her on her behavior in private. I sent an email asking her why she recommend such and such curriculum to another when she had only used it for a few months before ditching her entire educational philosophy for another. In the forums I would ask flat out how long she had been using the curricula she was talking about and how she felt it had benefited her child(ren).

 

She stopped after a while, dropped away. I'm sure she's around somewhere...

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I think I'd find a way to counter each and every message. Quote her if possible and ask all innocently "FunkyScreenName, didn't you only use Curriculum X for 2 weeks with one child? I'm not sure that is sufficient time to review all the wonderful aspects of Curriculum X. OP, we have been using Curriculum X for 7 years now with all our children and it is _______, _______, and _______. " Then go on to how the person asking the original question can find more information about it. Even if you've never seen Curriculum X, or Curriculums A, B, Y and Z

 

It may take a bit of work on your part, but eventually your nemeses will get the point.

 

But that is just me, and I'm a bit b----y that way.

:iagree:

I was on a list once that was totally dominated by one person, who apparently knew everything about everything and was the best parent in the history of the world. :rolleyes: Requests for help or advice were usually met with a lecture about how the child wouldn't have this issue if they'd been parented properly to begin with, blah blah blah. For some reason everyone tiptoed around this person, occasionally someone would say "I think that might have been a bit harsh...." but no one ever really called her on it. One day a newbie (or a perhaps a long-term member who had had enough and set up a 2nd ID ;) ) just flat out let her have it. Alpha B*tch got in the bigest huff ever, announced dramatically — several times, LOL — that she was leaving and not coming back. When no one tried to talk her into staying, she quit. And I guess all those emails begging her to reconsider never happened either, because she never came back. :D

 

 

There are too many like this. Trying to combat it is like playing a game of whac-a-mole.
May I suggest whacking a little harder, then? :lol:

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Jackie

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Guest janainaz

I think it takes a little longer than a couple of years to become a curriculum/homeschool expert. I've been to groups where there have been seasoned homeschoolers that have gone from K to high-school, and some arrogant woman comes along who has done only research, not actual time spent 'educating' her child, and she wants to come off as if she has it all figured out.

 

I think I'd give a little credit to someone who has been around the block and who has actually schooled his/her child at home, who has spent more than 6 months with a curriculum. True success in something takes longer than 6 months.

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I don't know that I would specifically call out someone as being flighty, but I have definitely been known to say that we had had a different experience with a curriculum. And to give links to blogs or websites the give more details on utilizing the curriculum.

 

In other words, I wouldn't expect to change the other person's comments, but I would feel free to give details on a different perspective.

 

Edit: It is categorical dismissals of some materials that have led me to pretty much discount anything that a person might ever say about curriculum. There was a mom at our homeschool taekwondo sessions who really put herself out there as an authority on all things. One day she sniffed that a particular curriculum was "ok for young kids, but she didn't know ANYONE who was using it above 6th grade. And have you seen the books that they use?" I wanted to reply that she must not know very many advanced homeschoolers, because I knew a couple who were using that curriculum with their high schoolers and their kids were some of the most talented, well-read, and interesting kids I'd ever met (whose faith had evidently not been waylaid by "those books"). In my mind, she just revealed herself to be terribly ignorant and not a person to keep in my inner circle.

Edited by Sebastian (a lady)
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Guest Dulcimeramy
Just give us all the name of the board and we'll take care of it right away. I love whack a mole.

 

What would we call that? Swarming?

 

BeeSwarmHive.jpg

 

images%3Fq%3Dbeehive%2Bswarm%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D813%26tbs%3Disch:1,ic:gray0%2C2052&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=433&oei=1NVxTM3MGoP78AbT7ezjCg&esq=4&page=4&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:23,s:79&tx=74&ty=57&biw=1280&bih=813

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I think it takes a little longer than a couple of years to become a curriculum/homeschool expert. I've been to groups where there have been seasoned homeschoolers that have gone from K to high-school, and some arrogant woman comes along who has done only research, not actual time spent 'educating' her child, and she wants to come off as if she has it all figured out.

 

I think I'd give a little credit to someone who has been around the block and who has actually schooled his/her child at home, who has spent more than 6 months with a curriculum. True success in something takes longer than 6 months.

 

:iagree:

 

I am sometimes shocked to see "homeschool advisors" who are offering their services (for money) who have young children. :confused: Just because you think you started homeschooling at 2 yo or own every homeschool book doesn't mean you are seasoned when your oldest is 6 yo.

 

What is scary is how many newer homeschoolers DO follow those inexperienced or jumping-from-curriculum-to-curriculum people. :001_huh:

 

I agree with Parrothead. Do it for all the newbies who actually do need help. They may not be able to see through her. Consider it your community service for the day. :001_smile:

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Just give us all the name of the board and we'll take care of it right away. I love whack a mole.
What would we call that? Swarming?

:iagree: Post the name of the board and let the Hive "contribute" to the discussion! :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash: :smash:

 

 

:D

Jackie

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LOL- thanks for the laughs!! The WhackAMole analogy was right on!!

 

I don't particularly want to do anything about this woman myself...I don't have the time and I don't want to get into it with her. I'll just keep deleting. I do sometimes pipe in with links or a different viewpoint when she is really slamming something. It's just funny how she doles out expert advice to others, but she asks a question about her own kid and then gets defensive when people reply in ways she doesn't like (which incidentially is how she replies to people all the time!!!).

 

Anyway, I just needed to vent. She is on more than one group too- I have seen her. Good news though, she isn't on the only groups I care about now- which are my TOG groups. God help me if she discovers TOG. LOL

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Anyway, I just needed to vent. She is on more than one group too- I have seen her. Good news though, she isn't on the only groups I care about now- which are my TOG groups. God help me if she discovers TOG. LOL

 

 

Oh, I wouldn't worry if she does discover TOG. Considering her track record, she'll likely only be a pain for what? 2 or 3 weeks? :lol:

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Looking back over my 9+ years HS/ing, I have found that the fewer years someone has HSed the more easily they tend to give advice. Someone who is always offering advice has most likely only HSed 1-2 years. When someone has HSed many years, through many ages, with a number of students (i.e. more than 1 ;) ) they are more relunctant to offer advice unless directly asked. My first few years HSing we had a "know-it-all" in our local HS group. She was always full of ideas & advice, but never seemed to get anything done with her own 3 girls. When it was brought up at our conference planning meeting to ask for volunteers to present workshops, I spoke up & suggested that we approach different HSers that we thought covered a certain area very well. I did not want to see the "know-it-all" doing another presentation to new HSers on a topic that she had no success. :glare: The "know-it-all" moved the next year to put her daughters in a fancy private school. She admitted to me before she left that in hindsight she hadn't been "unschooling", but had really been "not schooling." :001_huh:

 

JMHO,

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Oh, I wouldn't worry if she does discover TOG. Considering her track record, she'll likely only be a pain for what? 2 or 3 weeks? :lol:

 

 

In theory that would be true, but she hangs around anyway!! The group she was most annoying on is a group for a curriculum she keeps coming back to and then promptly dumps. I left that group though because I no longer use that curriculum. She should follow suit!!!

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We've got one of those on our group. She's been moderated...And not just by our group either. The weird thing is that she is very, very nice in person. She tends to dominate the conversation, but is otherwise quite pleasant. Let her get behind a keyboard and she turns into something else entirely!

 

J

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:iagree:

 

I am sometimes shocked to see "homeschool advisors" who are offering their services (for money) who have young children. :confused: Just because you think you started homeschooling at 2 yo or own every homeschool book doesn't mean you are seasoned when your oldest is 6 yo.

What is scary is how many newer homeschoolers DO follow those inexperienced or jumping-from-curriculum-to-curriculum people. :001_huh:

 

I agree with Parrothead. Do it for all the newbies who actually do need help. They may not be able to see through her. Consider it your community service for the day. :001_smile:

 

:lol:

 

I love the line I bolded! It tickles me.

 

I am amused when someone gathers a few books, divides the books into "weeks" and calls it a curriculum...for a grade younger than first...and people go gah-gah over it. We called that reading books we got from the library in our house

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:lol:

 

I love the line I bolded! It tickles me.

 

I am amused when someone gathers a few books, divides the books into "weeks" and calls it a curriculum...for a grade younger than first...and people go gah-gah over it. We called that reading books we got from the library in our house

 

 

LOL- hmmmm....I remember spending about $200 bucks for a "reading schedule." It hacked me off when I realized that was pretty much all there was to it.

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LMHO.....this reminds me of a woman who used to be in our homeschool co-op. She knew EVERYTHING about homeschooling and constantly gave advice (unsolicited) to everyone else in the group.....in a very "in your face", abrasive manner. Someone finally had the guts to tell her (after she'd been lecturing my friend and I about XYZ curriculum for twenty minutes) that she had ONLY been homeschooling for three months and the people she was talking to had over 25 years of combined homeschooling experience between them (me, 10 years at the time, my friend 15. Oh, and my friend had 9 children), and that at this point in her homeschooling life, the best thing she could do was shut up and LISTEN. She mumbled something about how all the research she had done on curriculum should count for something. My friend pointed out that no, it didn't. She hadn't ever USED XYZ curriculum and she'd only been homeschooling a first grader for 3 months! It was once of the most satisfying moments of my life. :lol: Which I've always felt incredibly guilty about, but nevertheless......:D.

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years

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I met someone when her dd was in second grade at the local elementary school. She mentioned in passing that she had initially wanted to homeschool, but then when her daughter was diagnosed as being on the spectrum, they'd decided to start her in kindergarten, and never looked back. Fine, right?

 

Then I found out that when her daughter was, oh, TWO, she had started a homeschooling group in the area (that had grown very large), and had done media interviews about homeschooling, etc. She was giving interviews and acting as a spokesperson when her kid was five at the most. :lol:

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Guest Dulcimeramy
Nope, swarming involves following a new queen...

 

Oh. We don't want to do that. I guess we would have to just call it, "Bees Behaving Badly."

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All you can do is call her out on it.

 

I admit there have been a few curriculum choices that either

 

A. I knew immediately would be too much work for ME and decided to ditch it before I gave it a fair shot, or

 

B. I tried it for several weeks only before the kids and I just *knew* it was not going to work for us and I ditched it. But, I don't pretend to be an expert on any of them either.

 

In most areas I feel much more confident about what works for me and for my kids, but there are still some subjects I flit around (right now spelling! :tongue_smilie:) but overall, I would never tell someone that a curriculum will NOT work for THEM and their needs. I know every family is different and every kid learns differently.

 

Dawn

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Looking back over my 9+ years HS/ing, I have found that the fewer years someone has HSed the more easily they tend to give advice.

 

Yep, this is my 9th year (DS did 5th grade twice) hs'ing and I try really hard not to ever give advice. :D

 

LMHO.....this reminds me of a woman who used to be in our homeschool co-op. She knew EVERYTHING about homeschooling and constantly gave advice (unsolicited) to everyone else in the group.....in a very "in your face", abrasive manner.

 

I know someone IRL that is like this. I have been trying to find a tactful way to tell her to shut-up for years. The problem is, she is a good friend, and to do so would pretty much terminate out friendship.

She switches to a new curriculum every year, and for some subjects a few times during the year. Each time she discovers something new (well, new to her) she is immediately an expert. She will start telling anyone that will listen how great a program it is and that they should start using it, too, EVEN BEFORE SHE PURCHASES IT!!! Then she might use it for a month or so and then sell it and move on to something else. Sometimes she's selling it before she even tries it because something "better" has come along.

It's frustrating. When she starts talking curriculum with someone, I have to walk away. I asked her once if they had ever actually finished a curriculum and she seemed to be offended (said yes, but couldn't think of one specifically). I also told her once that her children knew that they could tell her something was too hard and she wouldn't make them do it (leaving them pretty much doing nothing until she gets something else), and that they were manipulating her. She also seemed to take offense to that. I don't like it when she asks my opinion about a book or curriculum because she's either going to say, "No, I don't want to use that" (and then later on "discover" the very same thing herself and claim it to be the greatest thing ever); or it would be like feeding the fire because she'll want to go out and buy it right away.

I am getting really concerned about her children's education because they never seem to get anywhere... For example, if you start a new history book at the beginning each time, and then quit on each one after a month or so, you don't get very far into history.... KWIM?

Wow, I think I might have exploded if I didn't get that out.... :tongue_smilie:

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I am getting really concerned about her children's education because they never seem to get anywhere... For example, if you start a new history book at the beginning each time, and then quit on each one after a month or so, you don't get very far into history.... KWIM?

Wow, I think I might have exploded if I didn't get that out.... :tongue_smilie:

Yes. This is what I have decided for our family. We need to stick to what we have for at least 2 years so that I am sure we are making progress. It helps that they seem to be working better, but who knows? Our previous things may have worked if I had stuck to it to make them. :D

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Well, if we're not going to get to join the group and play whac-a-mole, and if you don't want to have some fun and become a constant thorn in the woman's side, I can only ask if the group is moderated, because if it is, you should consider contacting the moderator and reporting the woman's posts.

 

You can do it in a gracious way, but still point out the woman's attitude and lack of long-term experience with any of the curricula she touts or bashes.

 

The moderator probably won't ban the woman from the forum, but she might very well send her a PM asking her to tone it down.

 

Cat

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