What to do at child's wake

[Hunter's Moon]

This is connected to the thread I posted recently about my teacher losing his son.

 

I am attending the wake and while I've been to my grandmother's wake, I've never been to any other.

 

With my grandma's wake, I stayed there the whole time because I was the family. Now that I am just going to offer condolences, I don't know what to do.

 

The family doesn't want flowers. They would prefer if people gave donations to their son's basketball team.

 

I'd love to make them dinner because I hear food is the best for families after a loss but I don't want to bring food into a funeral home and I don't have their address.

 

Do we just go in, say our condolences and leave?

 

I'm not entirely sure. I don't want to be rude and stay too long or leave too early.

[Ohdanigirl]

This is connected to the thread I posted recently about my teacher losing his son.

 

I am attending the wake and while I've been to my grandmother's wake, I've never been to any other.

 

With my grandma's wake, I stayed there the whole time because I was the family. Now that I am just going to offer condolences, I don't know what to do.

 

The family doesn't want flowers. They would prefer if people gave donations to their son's basketball team.

 

I'd love to make them dinner because I hear food is the best for families after a loss but I don't want to bring food into a funeral home and I don't have their address.

 

Do we just go in, say our condolences and leave?

 

I'm not entirely sure. I don't want to be rude and stay too long or leave too early.

Stay about 10-15 minutes. Make sure you give you condolences sit towards the back and then leave discreetly. This should allow you to pay you respects and allow the family and close friends to continue grieving together. It is very nice of you to want to take a dish, but I would first spend those extra minutes at the funeral home asking around about an address. You probably don't want to leave food dishes there.

 

HTH

 

Danielle

[Mejane]

You certainly don't need to stay the whole time, but you also don't want to look like you're rushing out the door. I would say to speak to the family, sit quietly for fifteen minutes, and leave. You can ask someone the address of the family while you're there if you want to bring food later.

[MariannNOVA]

Stay about 10-15 minutes. Make sure you give you condolences sit towards the back and then leave discreetly. This should allow you to pay you respects and allow the family and close friends to continue grieving together. It is very nice of you to want to take a dish, but I would first spend those extra minutes at the funeral home asking around about an address. You probably don't want to leave food dishes there.

 

HTH

 

Danielle

 

You certainly don't need to stay the whole time, but you also don't want to look like you're rushing out the door. I would say to speak to the family, sit quietly for fifteen minutes, and leave. You can ask someone the address of the family while you're there if you want to bring food later.

 

I agree with both of these posts. And you don't want to bring meals to the funeral home so instead see if there is a group mentioned in the obituary who is organizing stuff or if there is info at the funeral home. And, having been to too many wakes for young people (my heart breaks for this family) there will be a Funeral Director at the door or someplace visible at the funeral home. You can quietly ask him or her (if you do not see any information around) if they can get info for you regarding anyone who is organizing meals. While you are sitting quietly in the back (and I agree 15 minutes or so) they may be able to give you that info or find someone that you can speak with.

 

Bless you - :grouphug: