What do you say when people ask you...?

[desertmum]

What do you say when people ask you "What school do you children go to"?

 

Do you say something like: "They go to Chesterfield Academy" (the name you came up for you home school) and hope they go away? Or do you actually start explaining about home schooling?

 

Why do I ask? Well, someone asked me that question and I cheerfully said "Oh, he'll be going to XYZ school!", and the lady proceeded to ask "Oh, where is that?" I then stammered "Err, my house". I know I sound like a wimp but I would like to hear others how the handle questions from near-strangers. Thank you! :D :bigear:

[Annabel Lee]

If they are asking about my sons, I just tell them we homeschool. I try to go over it quickly, cheerfully, non-chalantly - so not to make an issue of it. Once, when asked what school they go to, I blurted out w/o thought "Oh, I teach mine at home". I didn't mean anything by it other than that literal statement. The couple I was speaking to glanced at eachother, turned, and walked away w/o even another word. That's been my only weird experience like that, but it's enough to make me pay attention to exactly how & what I say about it to peole I don't really know.

 

If they ask about my dd, I tell them which ps she attends. I don't usually offer up the few courses she's doing at home, because our reasons for some of those are based on our faith or other touchy, sometimes controversial reasons. I don't want to get the "but all the other kids are taking xyz there and they're fine" or have to explain my reasoning. Unless someone is genuinely interested, in which case I have a hard time not talking about homeschooling.

[Carrie12345]

"They're homeschooled." No explanation needed.

[Coffee Lover]

I try to gear my answer to the level of interest of the person asking. Most of the time, they are expecting a short answer, so I just say that he's homeschooled. If they are interested beyond that, I go into more detail.

[johnandtinagilbert]

"We home school." The majority of the time, their response is, "THat's great. I wish I could home school." or "I wish they had that when I was in school." Most people in my county realize p.s. stinks for a boatload of reasons.

[TN Mama]

Like the pp, I just say we homeschool.

 

The other day someone asked one of my girls if she'd started school. My daughter just said yes and the person then asked about her teacher. She told the lady she had the best teacher. :blush:

 

Usually I hear, "I don't know how you do it." or "I could never homeschool." or "I don't have the patience." And my typical response is, "You'd be amazed at what you can do when you don't feel like you have another option."

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I so want to say "The Institute of Actual Learning", when people ask me that question, but so far, I haven't had the courage!

[Sunshine State Sue]

"We home school." The majority of the time, their response is, "THat's great. I wish I could home school." or "I wish they had that when I was in school." Most people in my county realize p.s. stinks for a boatload of reasons.

Same here. Note that Tina and I are in the same county.

 

There was an article in our newspaper the other day about the graduation rate for black males. It's the lowest in the nation (large school districts only) at 21%. Compare that to white males at 50%. My son's "zoned" school is actually much higher than that because the IB program is there.

[mamato4girls]

"They're homeschooled." No explanation needed.

Same here, or "We homeschool".

[DarcyB]

We homeschool. 'nuff said :)

[....]

I try to avoid that conversation with people if possible. In fact, no one at our church knows we homeschool (that's how avoidant I am - ugh). When people ask, I just tell them that we homeschool. I got a ton of negative comments about it when we lived in Missouri, but in Texas - so far, nobody's said anything negative.

[regentrude]

I say we homeschool.

btw, I am in Missouri, and I have never had a negative comment so far- just questions. the same questions I had about homeschooling before I started.

[TN Mama]

I say we homeschool.

btw, I am in Missouri, and I have never had a negative comment so far- just questions. the same questions I had about homeschooling before I started.

 

I haven't had any negative comments in the short time we've lived in MO.

[Mommee & Baba]

"We home school." The majority of the time, their response is, "THat's great. I wish I could home school." or "I wish they had that when I was in school." Most people in my county realize p.s. stinks for a boatload of reasons.

 

This is our response and 99% of the time one of those is the remarks we get :)

[FO4UR]

We homeschool.

 

I haven't had any *overtly* rude comments about it.

[MaMa2005]

We homeschool. 'nuff said :)

 

Same here.

[bbrandonsmom]

I haven't run into it much yet, but have answered we are going to home school. I've had positive replies back so far. A few people have actually wanted to know more. I'm finding it's grandparents who have the most positive to say about it for the most part.

Since school here starts Monday, I imagine we'll get more people asking about school, since ds is "school age".

I guess it might depend on where you live also, as far as replies back to you when you say you home school? I think a lot of people h/s in our county, and in our state, so it's not viewed as foreign.

[Lolly]

If it is just someone on the street, I tell them we homeschool.

 

If it is a lawyer at a deposition, I tell them the children attend HomeLife Academy. Otherwise, I can get into trouble because we legally are not homeschoolers in our state. The kids are in private school.

[Ellie]

"I teach my dc at home." :D

 

Sadly, a friend was in line at a store and was asked that question. She replied truthfully that she hsed, and the other customer chewed her face off about homeschooling. :glare:

[Whereneverever]

I just say that we homeschool. Some people have been really rude, but most are just minorly curious. If anyone asks my DD where she goes to school she smiles really, really big and says, "My Mommy is my teacher at our homeschool and I LOVE it!" :001_smile:

[lotsofpumpkins]

I just tell people that we homeschool. Some have positive reactions, and some don't say another word (but I can tell they aren't thinking too positively about it...)

 

The funniest response I have gotten was when I was getting my hair cut. I had already told the lady that we live in a very rural area (to explain why I wait to get my hair cut until I'm visiting my parents several hours away), she knew I'm pregnant with my 6th, and once we added the homeschooling, she said I reminded her of the Amish! (Which is funny, since as far as I know, most of them go to school and don't homeschool...)

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

Sadly, a friend was in line at a store and was asked that question. She replied truthfully that she hsed, and the other customer chewed her face off about homeschooling. :glare:

 

I'm starting to develop a really thick skin with a hint of sarcasm here. When I get this from strangers (rarely in Texas but it does happen), I like to make my facial expression look especially curious and say, "I'm sorry, have we met?" So far, everyone has understood the true meaning of that question. I am not interested in hearing strangers' opinions of my educational choices.

 

I usually don't have time to answer for us. DC always pop right out with, "We homeschool." I think they actually believe that public school is similar to daycare, as in it's what you do if both of your parents go to work. They don't know ratios and percentages yet. We'll get there but for now, I'm happy they are proud. :001_smile:

[Guest nikki0522]

I just say that we homeschool and leave it at that.

[Mallory]

I usually say they don't go to school.

 

But I also think I like provoking strangers too much ;).

 

I don't think I have ever gotten anything out right dissaproving. If they ask more and I mention homeschooling, maybe they are relieved that I acutally do seem to have a plan.:tongue_smilie:

[mcconnellboys]

No, I just say, "We homeschool." Or my son says it, himself. Folks generally don't go on to question me further than that. Maybe it's the way I say it, LOL.....

[Guest momk2000]

I so want to say "The Institute of Actual Learning", when people ask me that question, but so far, I haven't had the courage!

 

 

"The Institute of Actual Learning" I love this! :lol:

 

We just tell people we homeschool. Most folks think it's great. For the few that have a problem with it, I figure it's just that, their problem. :D

Edited August 22, 2010 by momk2000

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I've been getting that question a lot recently, since DD is 4.5 and at the age where people expect her to be going to school.

 

Here's how the conversation usually goes:

Stranger: Oh how cute! How old are you? (to DD)

DD: (turns to me)

Me: She's 4. She doesn't really like talking to strangers.

Stranger: Oh, that'll change once she's in school. (back to DD) Are you excited about going to school?

Me: She's not going to school. We homeschool.

Stranger: (with a disapproving look) Oh. Well then.

 

Ugh. Very rarely I get a positive reaction, but I've also had people tell me she won't learn to talk to others without going to school. :glare:

 

Yesterday I was at a family get-together with my bestfriend and her family, and her BIL was asking me about Jenna going to school. So of course, I had to explain. He said: Don't you know homeschoolers turn out to be serial killers?

He was completely joking, and I laughed and explained that sadly, I have heard that in all seriousness!

[Guest ME-Mommy]

If they are asking about my sons, I just tell them we homeschool. I try to go over it quickly, cheerfully, non-chalantly - so not to make an issue of it. .... Unless someone is genuinely interested, in which case I have a hard time not talking about homeschooling.

 

:iagree: this is exactly how we handle it... :)

[desertmum]

WOW I can't believe I got so many responses! I am very grateful as I was feeling a bit of a wimp! I'll just have to develop think skin and learn to smile through it all.

 

Eli (feeling like I just got a huge :grouphug: )

[Woodland_Mom]

I always try to cheerfully & confidently say, "We homeschool." This communicates that it's a GOOD thing.

 

I love a pp idea of "Institute of Actual Learning"! Cute!

[SailorMom]

Here in northern Florida, the schools are actually decent (when compared to the rest of the state - which is all anyone here looks at...:tongue_smilie:). So when I say "we homeschool", I always get the "oh - but the schools are so good here, and why would you do that to them?" or some such. I usually get the "socialization" rant as well. It is amazing to me how many strangers feel it is appropriate to behave this way!

 

I've developed VERY thick skin, and I realize that most of the people here really don't even know they are being rude. I think what helps, also, is that after you are doing it for a while, and see how well your children are doing - the unconscious self doubt goes away!

[Maverick_Mom]

Part of me wants to say nonchalantly, "My children attend _________ [name of our homeschool]." There are quite a few private schools in nearby towns, so it's completely plausible to an outsider that ________ could be just one more. But I also know that the next question would be "Where is ________ located?" And since I'd have to answer with the name of our small town, the person would know immediately that there is no ________ in this town, at least not that *she's* ever heard of. So then I'd have to explain that ________ is a homeschool, and that would result in the ubiquitous just-a-bit-too-long silence followed by "Ohhhhh." Which is what I'd get if I just answered "Oh, my kids are homeschooled" in the first place. :D

[EKS]

I say, "We homeschool."

[swimmermom3]

On the last go-round, I was a bit tired of the negative responses so I just said, "We homeschool, " with a supercilious smile and one raised eyebrow. It's a look guaranteed to make even the irrepressible Swimmer Dude flinch. In the car, my dd commented that I made it look like we didn't want to associate with the riff raff.:blushing:

[nono]

WOW I can't believe I got so many responses! I am very grateful as I was feeling a bit of a wimp! I'll just have to develop think skin and learn to smile through it all.

 

Eli (feeling like I just got a huge :grouphug: )

 

Just be ready for anything, and don't feel like you necessarily have to jump in and say anything once someone says something ignorant or rude. I've found staring in silence is sometimes best (hard thing as I have a quick tongue). Or, when someone says, "I could/would never do that" I might sometimes answer, "OK" while staring at them. It usually ends further comments.

 

One of my favorites last year was the older checker at the grocery store who said, "You homeschool right?" When I said yes, she continued with, "Well, I don't know anything about it, but I don't believe in it." :001_huh:

 

I was in the mood for a debate, so while she checked, and I bagged, we sparred over the issue. At the end, I simply said, "Thanks for the debate, and I really do appreciate your thinking about this." I gave her a genuine smile and the kids all waved and said thank you as we left. I often go to her still in the check out line, and she's never had another thing to say on the matter. I'm really glad I didn't get sarcastic and huffy (equally probably as me not) :blushing: when probably she just needed her fears to be heard. Who knows? Maybe one of her kids are considering it for her grandchildren...

[3littlekeets]

I say 2 are in public school and 1 is homeschooled. :D

 

If they ask why, I simply say "each child is an individual and we chose the option that fit each child best."

 

'Nuff Said.

[Lovedtodeath]

They have personal in-home tutors.:D

[tennismomkelly]

I've been pleasantly surprised that most people respond positively when I say that we homeschool. I'm not sure why but it's usually the grocery clerks that give me funny looks. Perhaps, it's because I often look a little frazzled by the time I get to the checkout line with all three of my kiddos. :tongue_smilie:

[Daisy]

If my children are with me, I let them answer. It is good practice for them. I've explained that tends to be the number one questions adults ask of children. It is not unlike asking about the weather.

 

If I'm alone and the person is older, I reply with, "We teach our children at home."

 

Usually that gets an, "Oh."

 

 

If I know they have children, I'll often say this...

"Oh, we home school, but my husband teaches at T**** Elementary(often parents will be familiar with this ps school as it is in our area). Do your children go to one of the schools around here?"

 

This serves one big purpose. It allows the person asking me the conversation to CHOOSE what they respond to. If they are anti-homeschooling they will usually just start into a conversation about their children's school, public school teachers, etc. If they are pro-homeschooling, they can continue asking me questions if they like. It defuses the situation and takes the focus off of me. People love to answer questions about themselves so just turn it back around.

Edited August 22, 2010 by Daisy

[cottonmama]

Daisy, that's a smart way to approach it. It's easy to think that they're asking to trap you, when really they just want a friendly conversation. Might as well throw out something else to talk about in case they have nothing nice to say about homeschooling.

[Whereneverever]

This serves one big purpose. It allows the person asking me the conversation to CHOOSE what they respond to. If they are anti-homeschooling they will usually just start into a conversation about their children's school, public school teachers, etc. If they are pro-homeschooling, they can continue asking me questions if they like. It defuses the situation and takes the focus off of me. People love to answer questions about themselves so just turn it back around.

Hey, that's really smart!

[Lovedtodeath]

Part of me wants to say nonchalantly, "My children attend _________ [name of our homeschool]."

The name of our school is " ___ Classical Homeschool". :tongue_smilie:

[cbollin]

If it is just someone on the street, I tell them we homeschool.

 

If it is a lawyer at a deposition, I tell them the children attend HomeLife Academy. Otherwise, I can get into trouble because we legally are not homeschoolers in our state. The kids are in private school.

 

:iagree: I think I can guess which state you live in. I live there too.

 

My kids are enrolled in that school too. Isn't it great HLA hired both of us as faculty in the off campus instruction option. ;)

 

fun story with it for me. (fun now anyway) 3 days after I moved to this state, there was a knock on the door. it was the driver of the special ed bus saying she was doing a dry run before Monday (first day of local public school) and my child was on her route. She had official paperwork and id and all of that. I was shaking. I was nervous enough from moving. I said "but that doesn't make sense. I just moved here. I'm new faculty at HomeLife Academy and my enrolled are enrolled there. There is no bus service at that school. I'll get them to class. I guess there is a mistake."

 

there was no way I was going to say we homeschooled to a public school official! eeek

 

finally after a little while, the driver and I both realized the person she had on her route was the family who had just moved. phew.

 

But yeah, in casual conversation, I just say "we homeschool". No one in Memphis bats an eyelash at that given our schools. And they say the same stuff "I wish I could do that." or "Lots of people do that around here."

But to official people, "my children are enrolled in a private school called HLA" :lol:

 

-crystal

Edited August 22, 2010 by cbollin
wrong word typo

[Mom0012]

I haven't read all the other replies, but I just say that we homeschool. I hate that this usually comes out in the first five minutes of every conversation I have with another Mom, but it's inevitable. Just like we homeschoolers love to talk about homeschooling, public school moms want to talk about the school and it's usually a common ground that two women will have to discuss.

 

After I state I homeschool, I will usually say the public school that my stepddaughter attended and I will ask the person about the school their children attend and usually I can say that I've heard it's a great school. Most of the schools in our area are.

 

That seems to ease some of the discomfort, but it is still often a conversation killer.

 

Lisa

 

ETA: I would never say they went to Chesterfield Academy or whatever the homeschool name was. If they questioned me further about the school, I would feel pretty silly.

Edited August 22, 2010 by LisaTheresa

[AudreyTN]

My kids are enrolled in that school too. Isn't it great HLA hired both of us as faculty in the off campus instruction option. ;)

 

I love it! :D

 

Most of the time when people ask it's at Walmart. "Is school out today?" -- "No, we homeschool and we're finished for the day." :)

[Amy713]

I always say we homeschool and leave it at that. Mostly, I get lots of "I could never do that" or uncomfortable silence. The DD usually says "I go to school at home" and "It's alright" when people ask whether she likes it. I did have an elderly lady in church tell me just this morning "You're not still homeschooling, are you? Your daughter seems very outgoing; you're not going to homeschool all the way through college, are you?" I think she imagines us keeping DD locked in a tower, forcefeeding her knowledge from dawn to dusk. I do think it's a shame that so many people I've run into assume that homeschooling equals isolation.

[MerryAtHope]

I just say we homeschool. I don't explain anything.

 

Now, my kids--if they are asked, they like to say "Oh, I don't go to school," for the shock value, LOL! Adults usually catch on after a momentary shock and say, "Oh, I bet you homeschool," with a big grin. Kids just freak out and say, "You don't? You are SO lucky, how do you get away with that?" and then my kids tell them & then the kids say again that they are so lucky!

 

Merry :-)

[littleWMN]

"They're homeschooled." No explanation needed.

 

:iagree:

 

I've learned that 'less is more' when answering these questions. :D

[RootAnn]

Since I live in such a small town, there are very few school options. For those who don't know I homeschool, they sometimes ask my kid(s), "Who is your teacher this year?" or "What grade are you in?"

 

I let the kids have the first option to answer. My second oldest just pointed to me for the first question when asked at the pool this summer. It stunned to silence the questioner. (Not sure I'd ever seen that particular person at a loss for words before.)

 

My third child isn't yet of "school age" but looks like she could go to K this fall. She gets a lot of "Are you excited about Kindergarten?" questions when we are out and about. She isn't interested in school at all, so she usually flashes them a smile and starts talking about something completely different (like her cute little brother).

 

Thick skin is helpful when homeschooling, but it is not required.

[LaurainMD]

My DD has gotten *tons* of questions this summer about "are you exciting for kindergarten?" and she just replies with, "Yeah, it's great! Since I do school at home, we already started! I love kindergarten!" That pretty much shuts 'em up.

 

I get a LOT of negative energy about homeschooling around here, being in an area with generally "good" schools. I am getting really good at deflecting it, but it still gets my goat when people feel the right to challenge other parents' educational choices in public.