I need a bit of encouragement

[ChemMommy]

We have the opportunity to participate in high school sports like a public school kid does. However, my son was cut from the team yesterday. He's not THAT bad; in fact, he scored a goal off the varsity team shortly before being cut. I suspect that he was cut just because he was a so-so player and not a public school kid. No one ever gets cut from soccer!! Of course, I can't prove it. And, no, there are no hs teams in this small town to switch over to!!

 

So, I feel like I've done this kid a disservice, even if he is an average player. And I'm feeling rather rotten.

 

I know and you know that making a high school team or not will not change his life, but I feel bad for him and feel somewhat guilty about homeschooling him. I had a nightmare last night that I'd messed up his life completely and not educated him enough to make him competitive in college. He struggles to write a 5-paragraph essay as a rising junior and is only in Algebra II. So, I'm just having a bit of hsing guilt, probably induced by seeing the finish line only two years away! I could use some hugs and encouragement!

[Mommamia]

:grouphug:

My boys are much younger than your high school son, but will it help to know that I get that homeschool guilt feeling about once a week. Maybe it just goes along with being a mom. I'm sorry.

[Jan in SC]

Well I doubt if you have ruined his life! :) I'm not sure where you live, but the soccer team is THE hardest team to make in our town!! There are 15-16 spots for about 200 boys. (The school has tons more boys, but that many play serious soccer.)

 

I'm sorry for your son. It stinks to get kick off a team! Have you googled travel teams in your area? You might be surprised what you can find if you don't mind driving a little. (Of course you should ignore this if you live in the middle of nowhere.)

[Barb_]

That's an awfully big leap...you didn't ruin his life because he was cut from the soccer team. You're assuming he was cut because he homeschools but you don't know that for certain. Maybe the coach saw something you didn't. Shrug. These things happen. It could be worse. He could have been cut from the team and miserable in school. :grouphug:

 

Barb

[In The Great White North]

Does he really want to play high school sports or does he really want to play soccer?

 

If he wants high school sports, see if he's willing to switch to cross country - it's often a "no - cut" team. (I am the high school swim coach, a " no cut" team, and we always pick up one or two after basketball cuts them.)

 

If he really wants soccer, I second the travel team idea. You may have to pay more and drive further but he could at least play.

[emubird]

Around here just about everyone gets cut from soccer. Even seniors who have been star players on the team for several years and are planning on getting recruited by colleges. A coach gets a new idea and decides to go with a different set of players.

 

And then a couple girls we know actually made the varsity team. They were so thrilled. But they spent the entire season sitting on the bench. They'd have been better off on the junior varsity team, but the coach didn't allow them to have that option.

 

I think there's too much emphasis on soccer in the earlier years and then no follow through with keeping teams up for the high school kids. It's a great sport. There are lots of kids who want to play, and not enough spots. And there's too much emphasis on winning in our area. I'm less than thrilled with the way things are often handled. I kind of thought high school was a time for kids to work on improving both mind and body, but the soccer teams and coaches seem to only worry about winning and are all too eager to keep kids off their teams.

 

My daughter gave up on soccer and went to cross country. It was a lot more supportive atmosphere, and a lot more fun. She loved soccer, and could have continued to play on a low level team, but the high school coaches were just, well, stinky, to be honest. They weren't interested in coaching anyone, just collecting a paycheck.

 

She then went to Ultimate Frisbee, which was also a lot of fun and pretty supportive, but with a lot of excellent players to make things challenging.

[unsinkable]

We have the opportunity to participate in high school sports like a public school kid does. However, my son was cut from the team yesterday. He's not THAT bad; in fact, he scored a goal off the varsity team shortly before being cut. I suspect that he was cut just because he was a so-so player and not a public school kid. No one ever gets cut from soccer!! Of course, I can't prove it. And, no, there are no hs teams in this small town to switch over to!!

 

So, I feel like I've done this kid a disservice, even if he is an average player. And I'm feeling rather rotten.

 

I know and you know that making a high school team or not will not change his life, but I feel bad for him and feel somewhat guilty about homeschooling him. I had a nightmare last night that I'd messed up his life completely and not educated him enough to make him competitive in college. He struggles to write a 5-paragraph essay as a rising junior and is only in Algebra II. So, I'm just having a bit of hsing guilt, probably induced by seeing the finish line only two years away! I could use some hugs and encouragement!

 

:grouphug:

 

You and your ds have my sympathy. My oldest DS lives for his sports. He went through a immensely difficult time this school year (that just ended) with sports. he started HS at a boys school.

 

He didn't make the golf team (didn't really know what to expect but showed up to find out boys were shooting close to par...he was so not even in the ball park!), got put on the "bad" hockey team at school as a goalie, didn't win many games at all on his school hockey team or his travel hockey team. Then...he didn't make the school baseball team, not even the first list. Next...cut from his travel hockey team and didn't get picked up by any other hockey team. Joined track and came in close to last in every race. Didn't make the tourament team for LL baseball. Found out his old "best friend's" dad was starting an elite baseball team for our area and he wasn't even asked to tryout, let alone play.

 

It has been blow after blow after blow. The worst was when he didn't make the school baseball team. He'd had talked about playing for them since he could talk. He'd see the team practicing and say, "Who are those boys, Mommy? I'm gonna play with those boys!" I'd say, "Someday, Jacky." When he didn't make the team, it was like a huge dream of his life died. He thought he had a good tryout. He said he was hitting well and never made an error in the field. I just don't get it and he didn't either.

 

Does your son have other opportunities for soccer? I hope he does. It might take the sting out of it for him. What about school volleyball? I have hear that men's is less competative than women's. If not, cross-country is an option. My ds did track once he got cut from baseball. He is trying out for volleyball and might consider x-country if he doesn't make volleyball.

 

I wish you and your ds all the best. I wouldn't wish the pain my DS went thru this year with sports on anyone.

 

:grouphug:

Edited August 21, 2010 by unsinkable