HELP! I am not a morning person!

[Nakia]

I have a hard time going to bed before 11:00. And I don't sleep well, never have. I've tried different meds with different effects, none of them totally good. I am going to go back on melatonin after I see the doctor Monday and make sure it won't interfere with my other medications. Anyway, the point of this is, no matter how well I sleep (or don't) or what time I get up, I am big grump in the morning. It takes me about an hour before I am reasonable. The kids irritate me to no end, even if they aren't doing anything other than being kids. We all get up at 8:00. I've tried getting up earlier than they do, but 1) since I don't sleep well, it's really hard, and 2) our house is so small that they usually hear me and then they are up too.

 

How can I be cheerful in the morning? Is it hopeless?

[MariannNOVA]

I am the last person who can give you advice. My favorite bedtime is between 1am and 2am -- and I do not want to open my eyes before 9am........but I do.......I force myself out of bed at 7am when dh leaves. I press the button on the coffee maker and heaven help the child who appears before I have had at least two cups of coffee and 90 minutes of SILENCE.

 

I like to joke that I am a morning person......just a wee hours morning person........the 1am to ?am kind.

 

If I could, I would start my day at like 4pm and stay up till 6am.

 

I do not fall asleep easily -- I've stopped taking Motrin PM b/c it was not as effective as it had been and it did really knock me out when it did work - I would be groggy for HOURS. Melatonin gives me weird dreams. I tried a glass of white wine before bed -- one very expensive chardonnay that I tried made me absolutely stupefied for about 24 hours - one little glass.:blink:

 

I hate to say this -- the thing that works best for me is EXERCISE -- running or walking -- if I am doing either of those, I can be asleep at 10pm and I can wake up and be a reasonable individual in an hour or so.

 

I'll be :bigear: here to see if anyone has any thing that looks promising.

[Dobela]

I am not a morning person either. My 10yo has figured that out and leaves me alone. Besides, he has figured out that I won't start school work until I am fully awake. He will now do nothing that help me wake up faster ;) . My 3yo, well, I just try to send her to her brother. A friend of mine taught her oldest to make coffee and scrambled eggs. The coffee for her, the eggs for everyone else just so she could have more quiet time.

 

Hang in there.

[Denisemomof4]

I've had severe sleep issues for almost 30 years now. Like Mariann, I am up until 1:00 or 2:00. I will try harder to adjust my clock now that our school year will start up again.

 

I am desperate for answers, too, and may do a sleep study. In the meantime, not sleeping is no longer acceptable to me. I took Unisom for too long and now I'm taking herbs. I really think I'm taking too many but I'm desperate for sleep. I take 2 Zyflamend PM, 3 valerian w/bee balm, 2 cal/mag/zinc, 1 l-theanine. I sometimes take 3 Calms Forte instead of the valerian since I read valerian could cause liver damage.

 

ETA: I also hate mornings. When oldest dd was in school and I went in to volunteer one morning with younger dd, the woman at the front office commented to dd how quiet she was. She said, "Mom doesn't like noise in the morning, especially before she has her coffee."

[wulfbourne]

When I worked as a nurse I pulled the night shift. And I loved it. My normal sleep patterns would be up until at least 1-2 am and sleep in until 11am or so. Unfortunately my body still wants to stay up past midnight, but I have to wake up at 7:30. I was just joking with my husband that the only thing I really missed about not having kids was the ability to sleep in. So I have no advice for you, only sympathy.

 

Oh, and our house is the same way. It's small so the kids hear our alarm go off (even though it's not loud) and I hear them when they wake up before the alarm (most days).

[MariannNOVA]

I've had severe sleep issues for almost 30 years now. Like Mariann, I am up until 1:00 or 2:00. I will try harder to adjust my clock now that our school year will start up again.

 

I am desperate for answers, too, and may do a sleep study. In the meantime, not sleeping is no longer acceptable to me. I took Unisom for too long and now I'm taking herbs. I really think I'm taking too many but I'm desperate for sleep. I take 2 Zyflamend PM, 3 valerian w/bee balm, 2 cal/mag/zinc, 1 l-theanine. I sometimes take 3 Calms Forte instead of the valerian since I read valerian could cause liver damage.

 

 

You take all THAT? You are really serious about this not sleeping thing. Wow -- I have to know: Does it work? I get SO mad at myself when it is like 3 or 4am and I am still up and down wandering through the house. I know what you mean about 'desperate' for sleep. My 'window' of sleep happening seems to be gone in a nanosecond, kwim?

 

The WORST part of teaching in the last school where I taught was that they started at 7:55am and with traffic, I had to leave the house at 7:10 to get there on time. I had the BEST principal.........she and I both knew I was going to get there at 8:15 every day - my class (there were only 5 of them) had work to do and they were great but I COULD NOT wake up before 6am -- it didn't matter.

 

The best thing about homeschooling as far as my body clock is that I can start in my pjs and shower and dress in a few hours when the kids are doing independent work.

 

I loved to sleep in even as a kid and I would lie awake for hours in bed reading or writing till sleep finally came - I was totally unable to fall asleep at a reasonable hour.

[Denisemomof4]

You take all THAT? You are really serious about this not sleeping thing. Wow -- I have to know: Does it work? I get SO mad at myself when it is like 3 or 4am and I am still up and down wandering through the house. I know what you mean about 'desperate' for sleep. My 'window' of sleep happening seems to be gone in a nanosecond, kwim?

 

 

 

yes. I'm concerned about it, but I'm also concerned about not sleeping. I really do go need to see someone to go over all the herbs I take. Earlier in my marriage I remember being awake for days on end. It was HORRENDOUS. I remember schooling the boys on 1 - 2 hours sleep and I was a mess. I'm just getting too old for it now. I need my sleep.

 

You were lucky that the school worked with you, Mariann!

[MariannNOVA]

yes. I'm concerned about it, but I'm also concerned about not sleeping. I really do go need to see someone to go over all the herbs I take. Earlier in my marriage I remember being awake for days on end. It was HORRENDOUS. I remember schooling the boys on 1 - 2 hours sleep and I was a mess. I'm just getting too old for it now. I need my sleep.

 

You were lucky that the school worked with you, Mariann!

 

I hear you -- I would willingly take something if it worked, but like you, I am concerned about the herbs or meds as the case may be AND about the not sleeping.

 

And, yes, I agree: age is a factor. When I worked in NYC, I would work for days at a time with nothing more than a 30 minute cat nap here and there. I would NEVER be able to do that now.

[hsbaby]

I wish there was an answer as well!!! I'm always up past midnight. Unless I take a Klonopin:). It was actually prescribed because I have pretty bad TMJ and grind my teeth at night, which makes it worse. But, I don't like taking that unless I am desperate! I think part of my issue is that the late night hours are my only alone time. Kids and dh sleeping, house is quite, and no one is asking me for anything. I treasure that time, but pay for it the next day:(.

[simka2]

I wonder if this is who we are?!!! I've tried to be different, but I'm with you...I woulld rather stay up late and sleep in!!!! That would make like great!!!!

[Dawn in OH]

I have a hard time going to bed before 11:00.

 

Anyway, the point of this is, no matter how well I sleep (or don't) or what time I get up, I am big grump in the morning. It takes me about an hour before I am reasonable. The kids irritate me to no end, even if they aren't doing anything other than being kids. We all get up at 8:00. I've tried getting up earlier than they do, ... and our house is so small that they usually hear me and then they are up too.

 

How can I be cheerful in the morning? Is it hopeless?

 

I could have written everything I quoted here. I'll be watching this discussion for the same answers you are.

 

I can add one tidbit, I have been changing my diet and I seem to be getting about mornings. Not sure if it's related or not.

[MariannNOVA]

I wish there was an answer as well!!! I'm always up past midnight. Unless I take a Klonopin:). It was actually prescribed because I have pretty bad TMJ and grind my teeth at night, which makes it worse. But, I don't like taking that unless I am desperate! I think part of my issue is that the late night hours are my only alone time. Kids and dh sleeping, house is quite, and no one is asking me for anything. I treasure that time, but pay for it the next day:(.

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: For me, THIS is how it started. Now it is a habit. But, definitely the peace and quiet and no one asking me for anything.

[justamouse]

Stop trying to mold your daily schedule to what the business/school model is.

 

There is proof that there are night owls and morning people, it's all based on your circadian rhythm. Mold your house schedule to what you need.

 

Dh and I are both night owls. We do our best work between 1-3 am. We sleep best at 5-9 am. He has to get up to take oldest Dd to her school for her few morning classes (then she comes home and homeschools her academics), and, although we've had this schedule for over a year, we've always struggled with it. We can't wait until next year when her classes start in the afternoon and we get to go back to our old, lovely schedule (He leaves for work at 10/10:30 and gets home at midnight.). It was awesome for the kids because we had a great breakfast time-like other families have dinner. But it worked for us.

 

So do what you have to do to make it owrk for you, adn stop trying to mold yourself into what the business world says you have to.

 

The ony thing I caution against is the strong sleep meds. I have a dear friend with adhd and he can't sleep at all. They had him on Lunesta, and he had a ...psychotic break? It effected him like drugs. He would fix the breaks in the cars and have no memory of doing them. He would go food shopping and when he 'woke up' have no memory of how the food got into the house. Then, one day, he stopped a woman on his street and tried to get into her car, yelling and screaming. They brought him into the psyc ward until it wore off. Those sleep meds are not good.

 

We're also slow to wake here. Dh and daughter NEED an hour. I'm a little faster, but I can't do anything substantial (no math!) for an hour at least. It's OK. It's the way we're made, and we go with it.

Edited August 20, 2010 by justamouse

[DianeW88]

Exercise really helps me. Consistent, vigorous cardio that makes you sweat. I will never enjoy it, but it definitely helps you sleep better and more deeply. Also, yoga. That I love and it also helps me relax at night.

 

I love getting up early in the summer when it's light out, but in January when it's still pitch dark at 7 AM....:glare:. That is my goal for this school year. Up by 7:30 at the latest. Even in the dead of winter when it's cold and snowy. We'll see how that goes. Having said that....when I'm up, I'm up. And, annoying cheerful, because deep down, I do love mornings the best. I just need to remember that when I'm burrowing under the warm comforter and my house is freezing cold. :lol:

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16years.

[nmoira]

How can I be cheerful in the morning? Is it hopeless?

Yes, but you can try to minimize the collateral damage. :tongue_smilie:

 

Since you can't get up ahead of the kids (this is how I manage... barely), I'd recommend doing everything you can the night before against your morning routine: Table set, things you need to cook (or pour, or whatever) laid out, coffee in the grinder ready to go (or in a programmable coffee pot), first batch of school things sorted out. Depending on what type of battles you have in the morning, do the same with your kids (e.g. have them choose their clothes). In other words, take a bit of time out of your evening as a present to your morning self. The tough part is conditioning your morning self to accept it and your children to respect it.

[Pink Fairy]

Stop trying to mold your daily schedule to what the business/school model is.

 

There is proof that there are night owls and morning people, it's all based on your circadian rhythm. Mold your house schedule to what you need.

 

Dh and I are both night owls. We do our best work between 1-3 am. We sleep best at 5-9 am. He has to get up to take oldest Dd to her school for her few morning classes (then she comes home and homeschools her academics), and, although we've had this schedule for over a year, we've always struggled with it. We can't wait until next year when her classes start in the afternoon and we get to go back to our old, lovely schedule (He leaves for work at 10/10:30 and gets home at midnight.). It was awesome for the kids because we had a great breakfast time-like other families have dinner. But it worked for us.

 

So do what you have to do to make it owrk for you, adn stop trying to mold yourself into what the business world says you have to.

 

The ony thing I caution against is the strong sleep meds. I have a dear friend with adhd and he can't sleep at all. They had him on Lunesta, and he had a ...psychotic break? It effected him like drugs. He would fix the breaks in the cars and have no memory of doing them. He would go food shopping and when he 'woke up' have no memory of how the food got into the house. Then, one day, he stopped a woman on his street and tried to get into her car, yelling and screaming. They brought him into the psyc ward until it wore off. Those sleep meds are not good.

 

We're also slow to wake here. Dh and daughter NEED an hour. I'm a little faster, but I can't do anything substantial (no math!) for an hour at least. It's OK. It's the way we're made, and we go with it.

 

:iagree: Unless there's a good reason not to, I'd try to change everyone's schedule to fit mine, i.e., everyone stays up late and gets up late.

[Nakia]

I'm going to quote everyone and respond because everyone has been super helpful!!

 

I am the last person who can give you advice. My favorite bedtime is between 1am and 2am -- and I do not want to open my eyes before 9am........but I do.......I force myself out of bed at 7am when dh leaves. I press the button on the coffee maker and heaven help the child who appears before I have had at least two cups of coffee and 90 minutes of SILENCE.

 

I like to joke that I am a morning person......just a wee hours morning person........the 1am to ?am kind.

 

If I could, I would start my day at like 4pm and stay up till 6am.

 

I do not fall asleep easily -- I've stopped taking Motrin PM b/c it was not as effective as it had been and it did really knock me out when it did work - I would be groggy for HOURS. Melatonin gives me weird dreams. I tried a glass of white wine before bed -- one very expensive chardonnay that I tried made me absolutely stupefied for about 24 hours - one little glass.:blink:

 

I hate to say this -- the thing that works best for me is EXERCISE -- running or walking -- if I am doing either of those, I can be asleep at 10pm and I can wake up and be a reasonable individual in an hour or so.

 

I'll be :bigear: here to see if anyone has any thing that looks promising.

 

My kids are slowly, but surely learning mommy need silence and peace in the mornings. The thing about all my girls is that they are up and running as soon as they wake up! There is no transition. I starting running again last night! I am so glad because I think I was sleeping better when I was running consistently last summer and fall. Melatonin actually worked really well for me so I would like to use it again.

 

I am not a morning person either. My 10yo has figured that out and leaves me alone. Besides, he has figured out that I won't start school work until I am fully awake. He will now do nothing that help me wake up faster ;) . My 3yo, well, I just try to send her to her brother. A friend of mine taught her oldest to make coffee and scrambled eggs. The coffee for her, the eggs for everyone else just so she could have more quiet time.

 

Hang in there.

 

My kids have started getting up and making their own cereal and/or toast. :)

 

I've had severe sleep issues for almost 30 years now. Like Mariann, I am up until 1:00 or 2:00. I will try harder to adjust my clock now that our school year will start up again.

 

I am desperate for answers, too, and may do a sleep study. In the meantime, not sleeping is no longer acceptable to me. I took Unisom for too long and now I'm taking herbs. I really think I'm taking too many but I'm desperate for sleep. I take 2 Zyflamend PM, 3 valerian w/bee balm, 2 cal/mag/zinc, 1 l-theanine. I sometimes take 3 Calms Forte instead of the valerian since I read valerian could cause liver damage.

 

ETA: I also hate mornings. When oldest dd was in school and I went in to volunteer one morning with younger dd, the woman at the front office commented to dd how quiet she was. She said, "Mom doesn't like noise in the morning, especially before she has her coffee."

 

Funny about your dd! I will look into some of those herbs you take and talk to my doc about them. Thanks!

 

When I worked as a nurse I pulled the night shift. And I loved it. My normal sleep patterns would be up until at least 1-2 am and sleep in until 11am or so. Unfortunately my body still wants to stay up past midnight, but I have to wake up at 7:30. I was just joking with my husband that the only thing I really missed about not having kids was the ability to sleep in. So I have no advice for you, only sympathy.

 

Oh, and our house is the same way. It's small so the kids hear our alarm go off (even though it's not loud) and I hear them when they wake up before the alarm (most days).

 

I work night shift too, but only one per week. I love it, and I almost never have a hard time staying awake all night. I think it just makes matters worse for my sleep pattern though. But it's the only shift I can work right now.

[DaffodilDreams]

I'm a night owl, too - mostly due to the need for peace and quiet. Lately, our theatre stints have been pushing my bedtime back even more. Now, I seem to regularly be awake until 3:00 and even then, I've got to force myself to stop whatever I'm doing (usually here, reading!) and get some sleep. I recognize it's a problem for us. I feel like so much more could be done during the daytime hours if I could get to bed at a decent hour. As soon as this current production finishes rehearsals, I'll be on a mission to do better myself!

[Nakia]

I wish there was an answer as well!!! I'm always up past midnight. Unless I take a Klonopin:). It was actually prescribed because I have pretty bad TMJ and grind my teeth at night, which makes it worse. But, I don't like taking that unless I am desperate! I think part of my issue is that the late night hours are my only alone time. Kids and dh sleeping, house is quite, and no one is asking me for anything. I treasure that time, but pay for it the next day:(.

 

Me too! It's so peaceful and calm at night.

 

I wonder if this is who we are?!!! I've tried to be different, but I'm with you...I woulld rather stay up late and sleep in!!!! That would make like great!!!!

 

Maybe so! We all are wired so differently!

 

I could have written everything I quoted here. I'll be watching this discussion for the same answers you are.

 

I can add one tidbit, I have been changing my diet and I seem to be getting about mornings. Not sure if it's related or not.

 

What kind of diet changes? I have eliminated almost all the caffeine from my diet.

 

Stop trying to mold your daily schedule to what the business/school model is.

 

There is proof that there are night owls and morning people, it's all based on your circadian rhythm. Mold your house schedule to what you need.

 

Dh and I are both night owls. We do our best work between 1-3 am. We sleep best at 5-9 am. He has to get up to take oldest Dd to her school for her few morning classes (then she comes home and homeschools her academics), and, although we've had this schedule for over a year, we've always struggled with it. We can't wait until next year when her classes start in the afternoon and we get to go back to our old, lovely schedule (He leaves for work at 10/10:30 and gets home at midnight.). It was awesome for the kids because we had a great breakfast time-like other families have dinner. But it worked for us.

 

So do what you have to do to make it owrk for you, adn stop trying to mold yourself into what the business world says you have to.

 

The ony thing I caution against is the strong sleep meds. I have a dear friend with adhd and he can't sleep at all. They had him on Lunesta, and he had a ...psychotic break? It effected him like drugs. He would fix the breaks in the cars and have no memory of doing them. He would go food shopping and when he 'woke up' have no memory of how the food got into the house. Then, one day, he stopped a woman on his street and tried to get into her car, yelling and screaming. They brought him into the psyc ward until it wore off. Those sleep meds are not good.

 

We're also slow to wake here. Dh and daughter NEED an hour. I'm a little faster, but I can't do anything substantial (no math!) for an hour at least. It's OK. It's the way we're made, and we go with it.

 

I have taken Ambien before, and I never want to again. I did things during the night that I never would have done otherwise, such as wake my dh up for s*x, lol. The next day he would say something about it, but I wouldn't remember a thing about it. That scared the crap out of me. Thanks for all your advice. Maybe I need to just learn to embrace it. :)

 

Exercise really helps me. Consistent, vigorous cardio that makes you sweat. I will never enjoy it, but it definitely helps you sleep better and more deeply. Also, yoga. That I love and it also helps me relax at night.

 

I love getting up early in the summer when it's light out, but in January when it's still pitch dark at 7 AM....:glare:. That is my goal for this school year. Up by 7:30 at the latest. Even in the dead of winter when it's cold and snowy. We'll see how that goes. Having said that....when I'm up, I'm up. And, annoying cheerful, because deep down, I do love mornings the best. I just need to remember that when I'm burrowing under the warm comforter and my house is freezing cold. :lol:

 

Diane W.

married for 22 years

homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16years.

 

I started running again, so I'm hopeful that will help!

[Nakia]

Yes, but you can try to minimize the collateral damage. :tongue_smilie:

 

Since you can't get up ahead of the kids (this is how I manage... barely), I'd recommend doing everything you can the night before against your morning routine: Table set, things you need to cook (or pour, or whatever) laid out, coffee in the grinder ready to go (or in a programmable coffee pot), first batch of school things sorted out. Depending on what type of battles you have in the morning, do the same with your kids (e.g. have them choose their clothes). In other words, take a bit of time out of your evening as a present to your morning self. The tough part is conditioning your morning self to accept it and your children to respect it.

 

Thanks for the advice. I do always have the school things out. The girls have learned to do their own simple breakfast, and they know if they want a hot breakfast it won't happen before 9:30 or so, so they have something light in the morning, and then if they want it, I make something else latter.

 

I'm a night owl, too - mostly due to the need for peace and quiet. Lately, our theatre stints have been pushing my bedtime back even more. Now, I seem to regularly be awake until 3:00 and even then, I've got to force myself to stop whatever I'm doing (usually here, reading!) and get some sleep. I recognize it's a problem for us. I feel like so much more could be done during the daytime hours if I could get to bed at a decent hour. As soon as this current production finishes rehearsals, I'll be on a mission to do better myself!

 

We all need to stick together and try to encourage one another!!

[lisabelle]

I do so much better if I have a quiet hour to myself of drinking coffee before the ds gets up. Of course, you have more kids and younger kids, so that's hard. Fortunately ds is a night owl--when he was 18 months old I got a job where I worked from 5:30-9:30 (getting home around 10 in the evening) and I BEGGED dh to try to keep ds up so that I could put him to sleep. So ever since then he stays up until at least 10--often 11 and sleeps until anywhere from 7:30-8:30. I have the dh get me up anywhere from 6 to 6:30 and that gets me my quiet time.

 

But on the rare occasion ds gets up early, before I've had my time, he understands I still need my time and. I greet him, of course, when he wakes up, but then he does something quiet like reading in bed. Perhaps you could get the older kids to help with the little guys?

 

Ever since ds was born, I've had awful problems with insomnia. I take Trazodone at night. It was originally developed as an antidepressant, and while it was found to not be very effective as such, it was found to be a fairly effective sleep aid. I take anywhere from 100-200 mg at night, depending on how much I've already wound down (some people take up to 600 mg at night!), and I also find I need more during PMS. It gives me a decently restful sleep, which affects my mood positively when I wake up. I've taken it since 2002, and while I'm dependent on it for sleep, it's not the sort of thing you get "addicted" to like the hypnotics (Ambien, Lunesta, etc.).

[i.love.lucy]

Looks like I have a lot of soul sisters here!

 

I even posted a thread a while back that "my husband wants to sleep with me!". HA! Meaning he really wants to go to bed at like 9:30 and wants me to come to bed too. Just like on TV I guess. Supposedly we could snuggle and talk and wind down from our day and fall asleep. :smilielol5:Uh, 9:30?!?!!? When I still have 3 loads of laundry to finish, lunch to make, coffee to set, dishes to go in the dw? Not to mention the first quiet moments of my day with no one asking me for anything or interrupting me at all. I don't mean to be disrespectful, and I do wish I could accomodate him. But I just can't.

 

On the meds front, I take 3 benadryl a night. It's the only way I can get sleepy. This is a problem, but I don't know what else to do. It doesn't seem to matter if I cut out caffeine. And I did read the comments about exercise, but I hate that too.

 

My schedule is ready for the school year and it has me up at 7. :001_huh: To go for a walk. *sigh* We'll see how long that lasts. But it's the only way I can see to get the day going so we can salvage a little time in the afternoon for other things like playdates and chess club and music lessons, etc.

[Dawn in OH]

What kind of diet changes? I have eliminated almost all the caffeine from my diet.

 

 

I'm currently eating a minimal amount of processed foods, limiting sugars and carbs. I have found that carbs really mess me up. If I eat carbs, I try to make sure they are "good" carbs.

 

With the exception of 1 tsp a day of sugar in my coffee my sugar is coming from natural sources.

 

I've also found that cutting out night time snacking has helped.

 

I'm still experimenting, but I have found that while I'm still not up and ready to go in the morning, I'm a lot less groggy and foggy headed. I'm also snapping out of it more quickly than I used to.

 

I'm not saying that it WILL work for you. Everyone is different. You just need to find what works for you. Exercise helps too. I've been very active the past six weeks and they may have contributed to to the improvement. I honestly don't know yet.

[Mrs Mungo]

My favorite time to sleep is from 3 am until 10 am. I am a serious night-owl who has had to learn to adjust. I don't sleep well, either.

 

I haven't read the rest of the thread (posting on the run), but here are my personal tricks:

 

1. The kids go to bed on time. The later they stay up, the later I will stay up because I need that decompression time.

 

2. Darken the house.

 

3. No medication or caffeine at bedtime.

 

4. I go to bed an hour before I need to go to sleep and read to quiet my mind. I will eventually get sleepy this way. The house must be totally dark and quiet.

 

5. If I still can't sleep I do my pm yoga video, it seems to knock me right out.

[hornblower]

So - it's an issue of not sleeping well & then not really wanting to get up.

 

I used to work shifts, then I had babies, now I have ageing animals who need care in the middle of the night. I'm up at least once & usually twice in the night.

 

I was never a morning person in the past. I hated getting up in the mornings & while I wouldn't say I LOVE getting up, I have changed.

 

1) I did train myself to fall asleep at a moment's notice. I read about this when I wanted to become a spy & how handy a skill it is. :D I always do the same thing when I'm preparing to fall asleep; not the bedtime routine thing that people talk about, just immediately before falling asleep. I slow my breath way down & I count to 4 on an inhale, 4 on an exhale. Used to take a while to fall asleep but now I doubt if I do more than 3 or 4 repeats & I'm gone.

 

(the only downside to this is that when I was meditating I had a hard time staying awake. If I focus on my breathing too long, I just fall asleep :lol: So I have to focus on something else when I meditate.....) *****

 

2) exercise in the day - but not too close to bedtime. I think many of us are leading lives which are too sedentary & we're not physically tired enough. We're mentally drained, & we need the rest but our bodies are still saying "can't we play some more?! I wanna DO something!"

 

3) first thing I do when I get up is go pee, pull on sweats over my jammies, put on shoes & a hat & leash the dogs & walk out the door. I'm usually outside within 5 minutes of waking up. There's no time to think, no time to do anything except just go. I'm back 30 minutes later & by then I'm awake and usually pretty cheerful. I think this has been the single most important thing.

 

4) coffee when I return from the walk & a few more cups throughout the day but no more after 3 pm

 

5) comfy bed, comfy pillows, comfy quilt. Great sheets. I LOVE the feel of my bed.

 

6) the other thing that helps me is the night before to think & write down my plans for the next day. Sometimes when I get up I feel kind of disconnected & out of sorts. But when I have my list, I know that I just do 'the next thing' and I find that grounding. Remember to put in rewards & fun things on your list too. :)

 

 

***** I'm not at all suggesting that my step 1 will help those of you with serious sleep issues. You all have my sympathies. It's an awful thing to go through.

 

My dh had terrible insomnia for a while but his was situational & completely related to a job situation. He did get some relief from listening to some CD's on headphones, & having a lavender oil diffuser in his room for 30 min prior to him going to bed.

 

The cd's he used were

Dr Emmett Miller's Easing into Sleep

 

& also Music to Promote Sleep by Sonic Aid

http://henniebekker.com/music-to-promote-sleep

You can listen to samples there.

 

He also saw his dr & got prescription meds. If he did not fall asleep with the Cd's, he got up, took his meds & went back to bed with the cd again.

 

But ultimately, what cured it was leaving that company.........

[romeacademy]

I think part of my issue is that the late night hours are my only alone time. Kids and dh sleeping, house is quite, and no one is asking me for anything. I treasure that time, but pay for it the next day:(.

 

:iagree:I love being up at night when the house is quiet! And a few years ago I was actually able to pull off staying up until midnight and getting up at 5:30 to shower before the kids were awake! Can't seem to do it anymore though, and maybe really didn't do it all that well then.

 

Summer's worse, because my oldest 3 kids aren't morning people either, and the twins have learned to play quietly in their room till someone is up so I can get away with sleeping later. I guess I need to start adjusting my schedule before we start school in a couple weeks. Sigh.

[Nakia]

I do so much better if I have a quiet hour to myself of drinking coffee before the ds gets up. Of course, you have more kids and younger kids, so that's hard. Fortunately ds is a night owl--when he was 18 months old I got a job where I worked from 5:30-9:30 (getting home around 10 in the evening) and I BEGGED dh to try to keep ds up so that I could put him to sleep. So ever since then he stays up until at least 10--often 11 and sleeps until anywhere from 7:30-8:30. I have the dh get me up anywhere from 6 to 6:30 and that gets me my quiet time.

 

But on the rare occasion ds gets up early, before I've had my time, he understands I still need my time and. I greet him, of course, when he wakes up, but then he does something quiet like reading in bed. Perhaps you could get the older kids to help with the little guys?

 

 

 

I have to get my kids in bed by 8:30 or 9 so I can have my quiet time. And the oldest and middle do help with Cora when they get up. So that gives me a few minutes to at least pull myself out of bed, go potty, and brush my teeth. :D

 

Looks like I have a lot of soul sisters here!

 

I even posted a thread a while back that "my husband wants to sleep with me!". HA! Meaning he really wants to go to bed at like 9:30 and wants me to come to bed too. Just like on TV I guess. Supposedly we could snuggle and talk and wind down from our day and fall asleep. :smilielol5:Uh, 9:30?!?!!? When I still have 3 loads of laundry to finish, lunch to make, coffee to set, dishes to go in the dw? Not to mention the first quiet moments of my day with no one asking me for anything or interrupting me at all. I don't mean to be disrespectful, and I do wish I could accomodate him. But I just can't.

 

On the meds front, I take 3 benadryl a night. It's the only way I can get sleepy. This is a problem, but I don't know what else to do. It doesn't seem to matter if I cut out caffeine. And I did read the comments about exercise, but I hate that too.

 

My schedule is ready for the school year and it has me up at 7. :001_huh: To go for a walk. *sigh* We'll see how long that lasts. But it's the only way I can see to get the day going so we can salvage a little time in the afternoon for other things like playdates and chess club and music lessons, etc.

 

That's funny about your other thread! How did I miss that title??? :lol: I can't imagine getting up at 7 on purpose, but I think it's a great goal. 8 seems super early to me right now. If I could actually go to bed around 11 or 12 and sleep soundly, then 7 wouldn't be so bad. I am hoping to get these sleep issues resolved so that mornings won't be so bad. LMK how it's working for you!!

 

I'm currently eating a minimal amount of processed foods, limiting sugars and carbs. I have found that carbs really mess me up. If I eat carbs, I try to make sure they are "good" carbs.

 

With the exception of 1 tsp a day of sugar in my coffee my sugar is coming from natural sources.

 

I've also found that cutting out night time snacking has helped.

 

I'm still experimenting, but I have found that while I'm still not up and ready to go in the morning, I'm a lot less groggy and foggy headed. I'm also snapping out of it more quickly than I used to.

 

I'm not saying that it WILL work for you. Everyone is different. You just need to find what works for you. Exercise helps too. I've been very active the past six weeks and they may have contributed to to the improvement. I honestly don't know yet.

 

Thank you for the tips. We don't eat a lot of processed foods, but I do love carbs. I have been trying to cut the carbs down though. I used to eat cereal every night before bed, but I quit that a couple of weeks ago.

 

 

 

4. I go to bed an hour before I need to go to sleep and read to quiet my mind. I will eventually get sleepy this way. The house must be totally dark and quiet.

 

 

 

This is something I should do! It seems so simple, but I hadn't thought about it. I usually just stay up and stare at the TV or computer until I get sleepy. Thanks!

[Nakia]

So - it's an issue of not sleeping well & then not really wanting to get up.

 

I used to work shifts, then I had babies, now I have ageing animals who need care in the middle of the night. I'm up at least once & usually twice in the night.

 

I was never a morning person in the past. I hated getting up in the mornings & while I wouldn't say I LOVE getting up, I have changed.

 

1) I did train myself to fall asleep at a moment's notice. I read about this when I wanted to become a spy & how handy a skill it is. :D I always do the same thing when I'm preparing to fall asleep; not the bedtime routine thing that people talk about, just immediately before falling asleep. I slow my breath way down & I count to 4 on an inhale, 4 on an exhale. Used to take a while to fall asleep but now I doubt if I do more than 3 or 4 repeats & I'm gone.

 

(the only downside to this is that when I was meditating I had a hard time staying awake. If I focus on my breathing too long, I just fall asleep :lol: So I have to focus on something else when I meditate.....) *****

 

2) exercise in the day - but not too close to bedtime. I think many of us are leading lives which are too sedentary & we're not physically tired enough. We're mentally drained, & we need the rest but our bodies are still saying "can't we play some more?! I wanna DO something!"

 

3) first thing I do when I get up is go pee, pull on sweats over my jammies, put on shoes & a hat & leash the dogs & walk out the door. I'm usually outside within 5 minutes of waking up. There's no time to think, no time to do anything except just go. I'm back 30 minutes later & by then I'm awake and usually pretty cheerful. I think this has been the single most important thing.

 

4) coffee when I return from the walk & a few more cups throughout the day but no more after 3 pm

 

5) comfy bed, comfy pillows, comfy quilt. Great sheets. I LOVE the feel of my bed.

 

6) the other thing that helps me is the night before to think & write down my plans for the next day. Sometimes when I get up I feel kind of disconnected & out of sorts. But when I have my list, I know that I just do 'the next thing' and I find that grounding. Remember to put in rewards & fun things on your list too. :)

 

 

***** I'm not at all suggesting that my step 1 will help those of you with serious sleep issues. You all have my sympathies. It's an awful thing to go through.

 

My dh had terrible insomnia for a while but his was situational & completely related to a job situation. He did get some relief from listening to some CD's on headphones, & having a lavender oil diffuser in his room for 30 min prior to him going to bed.

 

The cd's he used were

Dr Emmett Miller's Easing into Sleep

 

& also Music to Promote Sleep by Sonic Aid

http://henniebekker.com/music-to-promote-sleep

You can listen to samples there.

 

He also saw his dr & got prescription meds. If he did not fall asleep with the Cd's, he got up, took his meds & went back to bed with the cd again.

 

But ultimately, what cured it was leaving that company.........

 

Thank you. Great ideas! I will look into those Cd's. I can't get straight up and go for a walk because my husband goes to work really early, so there wouldn't be anyone home with the kiddos and their not old enough to be home alone yet. I do absolutely love my bed so that's taken care of. I don't drink coffee, but I have started exercising again, so I'm hoping that will help wear me out.

 

ETA: A spy, huh? Somehow I'm not surprised. ;)

[Misty]

I force myself out of bed at 7am when dh leaves. I press the button on the coffee maker and heaven help the child who appears before I have had at least two cups of coffee and 90 minutes of SILENCE.

 

:lol: Same here! I have to have that hour or so of silence and coffee before my kids get up..

 

I stay up way too late and it's really hard for me to get up in the morning.. Dr. Oz says to take a few deep breaths while you are lying there in bed in the morning.. That helps to wake you up. I always forget though. :tongue_smilie:

 

I do take melatonin sometimes, but I usually have so much to do that I don't get to the melatonin until it's so late that I'm about to fall asleep walking.. so I don't take it every night.. Wine also helps me to get to sleep earlier, but I rarely ever drink it. So I'm a night owl on most nights!

[Peela]

I dont sleep well either, quite often, but I do make myself get up before everyone else because its the only way to get alone time. And i am a morning person...by afternoon I am useless. So I nap. I can get a 2nd wind in the evenings but I have learned NOT to follow that and go to bed instead. I do not leave my room in the mornings...I stay in bed and meditate, write in my journal, sometimes read...before leaving the sanctuary of my bedroom.

 

I believe that for many people that sluggish and grumpy morning time is because their liver is still working over time, or generally overloaded. The liver rules grumpiness! I suggest thinking about doing some liver cleansing or at least lighten the load of oily or heavy or chemical laden food ....the grumpiness is toxicity. Sounds way out but ask people who have done a liver cleanse how they feel afterwards. Usually, much lighter and less grumpy! At the least....do not eat in the evenings, especially late in the evenings.

My dd16 is the only one in our family with that late night/late morning tendency, with a *need* for coffee to get her going. We have found that insisting (actually we had to make it part of her school schedule) that she get exercise first thing in the mornings makes all the difference to her mood in the mornings, and her ability to think clearly.

[hornblower]

I can't get straight up and go for a walk because my husband goes to work really early, so there wouldn't be anyone home with the kiddos and their not old enough to be home alone yet.

 

Just FYI, this is actually what gets me out of bed in the AM. While my kids ARE old enough to be left alone, since I'm walking dogs, they'd be without a dog & I don't like leaving them home without a dog. SO, I get up when dh does & while he's getting ready, I'm out walking. Then I come home & kiss him good bye.

 

He gets up stupidly early too. :glare: But you know, I did get used to it.

 

:) I hope the cd's & exercise help!

[Nakia]

Just FYI, this is actually what gets me out of bed in the AM. While my kids ARE old enough to be left alone, since I'm walking dogs, they'd be without a dog & I don't like leaving them home without a dog. SO, I get up when dh does & while he's getting ready, I'm out walking. Then I come home & kiss him good bye.

 

He gets up stupidly early too. :glare: But you know, I did get used to it.

 

:) I hope the cd's & exercise help!

 

Maybe I can work up to getting up when my husband gets up. Or I could always leave them home with the Chihuahua. She thinks she is huge. :D

[wulfbourne]

Thought you ladies might appreciate this. People who stay up late tend to have higher IQ's:

 

Night Lights

 

Bedtimes and wake-up times for Americans in their 20s by IQ.

 

Very Dull (IQ < 75)

 

Weekday: 11:41 P.M.-7:20 A.M.

 

Weekend: 12:35 A.M.-10:09 A.M.

 

Normal (90 < IQ < 110)

 

Weekday: 12:10 A.M.-7:32 A.M.

 

Weekend: 1:13 A.M.-10:14 A.M.

 

Very Bright (IQ > 125)

Weekday: 12:29 A.M.-7:52 A.M.

 

Weekend: 1:44 A.M.-11:07 A.M.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200911/intelligence-the-evolution-night-owls

[Nakia]

Thought you ladies might appreciate this. People who stay up late tend to have higher IQ's:

 

Night Lights

 

Bedtimes and wake-up times for Americans in their 20s by IQ.

 

Very Dull (IQ < 75)

 

Weekday: 11:41 P.M.-7:20 A.M.

 

Weekend: 12:35 A.M.-10:09 A.M.

 

Normal (90 < IQ < 110)

 

Weekday: 12:10 A.M.-7:32 A.M.

 

Weekend: 1:13 A.M.-10:14 A.M.

 

Very Bright (IQ > 125)

Weekday: 12:29 A.M.-7:52 A.M.

 

Weekend: 1:44 A.M.-11:07 A.M.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200911/intelligence-the-evolution-night-owls

 

That's it. Between the link between mental illness and high IQs and now this, it's proven. I am a freakin' genius!!!!!!

[Firestar Academy]

That's it. Between the link between mental illness and high IQs and now this, it's proven. I am a freakin' genius!!!!!!

:iagree::iagree:

 

:lol::lol:

 

hey, me too!!!

 

robin in nj

[Nakia]

:iagree::iagree:

 

:lol::lol:

 

hey, me too!!!

 

robin in nj

 

I am totally going to start a mentally ill, insomniac, genius social group. :D

[MorganClassicalPrep]

That's it. Between the link between mental illness and high IQs and now this, it's proven. I am a freakin' genius!!!!!!

 

Me too!! :lol:

 

I am a serious night owl. Always have been. Luckily for me, DD is similar. She is still up right now actually, playing with her cars. Luckily for her, she seems to adjust better then I do to earlier bedtimes/wake ups when needed.

 

My sleep issue is a mixture of a few different factors.

I don't think my body is on a 24 hour clock. For example, if I sleep from 2am-10am, I won't be tired until 3 or 4 the next morning. 8 hours of sleep + up to 20 hours of awake makes it HARD to get on any sort of schedule.

 

If I do get myself up early, I end up exhuasted by dinnertime. Not just a little tired, but can barely keep my eyes open exhausted. If I give in a take a nap, then I don't get to sleep until 5-6 the next morning. If I stay awake I get my second wind which keeps me up until 1-2am.

 

When I do lay down I have a hard time turning my mind off. I think... about everything! What I'm doing the next day, what I did that day, any problems I'm having, what my dog might be doing, different people in my life, etc.etc. My mind just races, for hours at a time.

 

And THEN, when I do manage to fall asleep, I don't EVER sleep through the night. I have nightmares which frequently wake me up (4 times a week or so). I was also in 2 serious accidents a few years back and have hip and back pain which gets worse as the night wears on, and ends up waking me up.

 

I'm a barrelful of fun at night! The only thing that works for me is to take medication. (Xanex helps calm me down, pain meds and cough meds knock me out, ambien helps). However, since I am the only adult here with DD, I will only take something to help sleep when we are visiting my parents or staying with friends.

 

And in less then a week, I need to be up at 5:30 Mon-Fri to get to class... :glare:

[LibraryLover]

My family knows I am mostly not available until 9am. It's not been a problem. I don't feel we need to start the day at 6 am. Why? Even my chickens get this. ;)

 

When I have to be somewhere early, I manage fine. But I try to make sure we don't have to do that very often.

 

Even when my children were smaller, I managed only the basics. They are none the worse for it.

 

Unless I have reason to change what is working for us, why would I bother. :D

Edited August 23, 2010 by LibraryLover

[LibraryLover]

That's it. Between the link between mental illness and high IQs and now this, it's proven. I am a freakin' genius!!!!!!

 

 

That's the spirit.

 

:iagree:

[Maverick_Mom]

I think part of my issue is that the late night hours are my only alone time. Kids and dh sleeping, house is quite, and no one is asking me for anything. I treasure that time, but pay for it the next day:(.

 

This is me!

[Maverick_Mom]

That's it. Between the link between mental illness and high IQs and now this, it's proven. I am a freakin' genius!!!!!!

 

:rofl:

 

Reading this thread and considering my own sleep issues (very similar to yours), I'm thinking I need to learn to work with my internal clock instead of fighting it. There are definitely positive changes I can make (i.e., cut way down on carbs), but maybe trying to *be* a morning person when, biologically, I'm not is an exercise in futility, KWIM?

[dragons in the flower bed]

I found that eating something heavy after supper helps too. I know it's a horrible thing to do to my body but a sugar crash around 11 is a lovely thing for my tastebuds and for my sleep cycle.

 

I can not take Benadryl or sleeping pills so I was prescribed antihistamines to make me drowsy. I take two one night around 9 p.m., one the next night at 9 p.m., and if I'm still wide awake on any night by 10:30 I take a third. These are the doctor's instructions. It works pretty well. With these I feel drowsy around 11. I can still stay awake past that if I want to push through the drowsines, but if I give in to it, I can be asleep at 11:15. Then I can get up at 6.

 

I also set up a morning IM session with someone I love -- for 6:15 -- so that I have a reason to get up and be up. Having time for a nice long bath is another motivator.

 

Having alone time is another motivator. The children are simply required to stay in their beds until 7:30. Mostly they do. They have met the monster that is early-morning mama.

 

My natural sleep cycle is waking up at 1 p.m. and staying awake until 5 or 6 a.m. Someday I will sleep naturally, I have promised myself. When the children are grown and gone, I imagine. I will never again take on work that forces me to overrule my body. This is grueling. Keeping in mind that someday it will be over is a large part of what helps me get through it.