Jessica (Trivuim Academy) updated her blog

[Pamela H in Texas]

Hi Jessica!

 

I think it's GREAT you had such a wonderful attitude in regards to this thread. Though it probably wasn't meant meanly, no doubt some people could have taken it that way. What a stand up woman to grin and answer!

 

Glad things are going well for you :)

[Rosie_0801]

Plus with becoming a non-homeschooler that has her kids in public school, I know how some on the board frown upon those who post who aren't actively :chillpill:

 

Yeah, :chillpill:. You wouldn't be (ahem) the only one :lol:

 

I'm so glad for you!

 

:)

Rosie

[StacyinKS]

Hi Jessica :)

 

Congratulations and I am so happy to hear that things are going so well for you. :)

 

We went to the Grand Cayman in 2005 and you MUST go feed the Stingrays.

 

We didn't take the excursion through the Cruise company, but booked our own excursion with this company and we were so glad we did!!! It is a smaller boat with just a few people aboard and Captain Marvin's team are so friendly. Make sure you tell them what time you need to be back to the ship and they will suggest what tour your should plan, etc.

 

Here is a link:

 

http://www.captainmarvins.com/

 

The excursions through the ship tend to be really overcrowded.

 

Hope this helps!! :)

Stacy in KS

 

I am grinning ear to ear :biggrinjester: and

Michael keeps looking at me and grinning as I type this post. We're going on a cruise in just 3 weeks to Belize, Cozumel, Grand Cayman and Roatan for our 'honeymoon'.

[mommaduck]

I'm so glad things are going well with you! And congratulations!!!!! :grouphug:

[Gooblink]

TOG Redesign, eh? What year...I need year 4. :D

 

I'm new here, but congrats on your new life, I admire your ability to make things happen. :)

[Joanne]

Jessica!

 

From one divorced-from-an-abusive-creep Mom to another, congrats!

 

From one divorced-from-an-abusive-creep and rather quickly remarried Mom to another, Best Wishes!

 

Your career and life sound like a terrific and, knowing you, intentional match for you!

 

I don't know if you know my outcomes, but here is the short version:

 

3+ year long, $31K legal battle over custody. I won except for allowing my oldest to attend public high school. He starts Monday.

 

Been remarried now 3 years. Still love going to bed with and waking up with him. I can't think of many people who would have hung in there, relationship wise, through everything he has. We've had our "best of times/worst of times" dichotomy already. :D

 

I'm a High School Teacher now and also a full time graduate student. My younger 2 are dual enrolled in my private school and homeschool.

 

I miss you!

Edited August 22, 2010 by Joanne

[Trivium Academy]

I was hoping you were still here!!!! I owe you so much Joanne! Thank you for speaking out and being a guiding light in the darkness. ((((Joanne))) I recently gave my Lundy book to someone else who is hurting and in my job, I see women all the time who are coming in to take stock of their finances due to relational problems.

 

I get a small opportunity to praise them for their courage and strength, which I know from experience...any positive reinforcement in their lives is more than they have received. One woman had literally just came into town the night before from packing and leaving 9 states away. Luckily no kids were involved in her situation but we had a 20 min conversation (God allowed that, not many customers at the time she was there) and I recommended Lundy's book to her only to find out that her therapist had already given her a list of titles to read, Lundy being one of them. She saw it as a sign, we said goodbye before we both broke down and cried...it was such a powerful reminder of God's grace in my life.

 

Thank you for speaking out Joanne, being strong and an example of victory, others who have not experienced it may not understand just how precious it is to have a comrade, someone just to relate to and who understands the insidious ways another human can hurt another.

 

My life is so drastically different now, almost the complete opposite. I have the love of my life, my best friend and favorite companion as my partner- a true partner, as my husband. Trust is so valuable! My days are filled with joy, love and respect. I have a balanced life now, hallelujah!

 

You were and are an inspiration Joanne. Thank you.

[Trivium Academy]

I know it wasn't meant in a mean way, it was a good reminder of just how judgmental some can be without knowing the circumstances. In a way, it was comforting...it's like saying hello again to an old friend, knowing the good and the bad of the friend and liking them anyways.

 

I used to take too much from this board, allowed things to affect me emotionally b/c for a time this board was the only 'safe' socializing I had. I'm in a different place now, with a different perspective. I've matured, grown and can finally 'take what you need and leave the rest', lol. I hardly ever get on the computer anymore except to do stuff for work, someone from the board emailed me about this post and my blog entry so I decided to check in.

 

I didn't realize how much I missed some of you until I read some of your posts, your personalities shine so much through what you say! It is so good to reconnect! I don't know if I'll be on here often but I'll be around more than I have been. I've allowed myself time this weekend to get on here.

 

I need to get my old computer out and retrieve files that I had on it, that's a job in itself but there are files on there that others are asking repeatedly for. It's on my TO DO list!

[unsinkable]

I know it wasn't meant in a mean way, it was a good reminder of just how judgmental some can be without knowing the circumstances. In a way, it was comforting...it's like saying hello again to an old friend, knowing the good and the bad of the friend and liking them anyways.

 

I used to take too much from this board, allowed things to affect me emotionally b/c for a time this board was the only 'safe' socializing I had. I'm in a different place now, with a different perspective. I've matured, grown and can finally 'take what you need and leave the rest', lol. I hardly ever get on the computer anymore except to do stuff for work, someone from the board emailed me about this post and my blog entry so I decided to check in.

 

I didn't realize how much I missed some of you until I read some of your posts, your personalities shine so much through what you say! It is so good to reconnect! I don't know if I'll be on here often but I'll be around more than I have been. I've allowed myself time this weekend to get on here.

 

I need to get my old computer out and retrieve files that I had on it, that's a job in itself but there are files on there that others are asking repeatedly for. It's on my TO DO list!

 

I don't understand this. Do you really think that most people don't get a picture in their heads when they hear a young woman has been married multiple times?

 

I don't mean this is in a snarky way at all. You could replace marriage with other things...says schools or jobs or pets or houses...If you hear that some one has had X (big number) of Y in a short period of time, you get a picture of that person in your head.

[Heather in Neverland]

I don't understand this. Do you really think that most people don't get a picture in their heads when they hear a young woman has been married multiple times?

I understand what you are saying BUT that is because so many women suffer through miserable marriages rather than admit they made a huge mistake and try to fix it. I don't think that makes them any more admirable...just less likely to be judged. My BFF is on her 3rd marriage and she has taken major flack for it. #1 lasted 1 year, #2 lasted 3 years but #3? 9 years so far and still going strong. I think it takes a strong person to know when to fish and when to cut bait.

 

 

I don't mean this is in a snarky way at all. You could replace marriage with other things...says schools or jobs or pets or houses...If you hear that some one has had X (big number) of Y in a short period of time, you get a picture of that person in your head.

 

Yes, I know. I have worked in 5 different school districts and moved 8 times in the last 13 years BY CHOICE. Some people "get a picture" of me as being flighty or running from something. All I can say is "Not all those who wander are lost" (Tolkien). It's just like homeschooling...choose a different way of living your life and people will always have something to say.

.

[unsinkable]

.

 

DH & I have arguments that last longer than some marriages. :lol: That is a joke. Kinda. :tongue_smilie:

 

But, my point is...a person who does (X number of Y in a short period of time) that has to understand (IMO) that it will paint a picture of them...and right or wrong, it might not be the picture they want.

[Melinda in VT]

But, my point is...a person who does (X number of Y in a short period of time) that has to understand (IMO) that it will paint a picture of them...and right or wrong, it might not be the picture they want.

 

Perhaps. Personally, I'm trying to hold such pictures loosely, since I realize they are often wrong and almost never encourage me to look to my own issues instead of those others might have.

 

Which is also true of the pictures painted in my head of the posters who seem so focused on the number of times Jessica has been married.:tongue_smilie:

[unsinkable]

Perhaps. Personally, I'm trying to hold such pictures loosely, since I realize they are often wrong and almost never encourage me to look to my own issues instead of those others might have.

 

Which is also true of the pictures painted in my head of the posters who seem so focused on the number of times Jessica has been married.:tongue_smilie:

 

And the circle goes round.

 

ETA: It's so funny...the verbal finger wag --"ah,ah,ah! No judging! I'm judging you for judging!"

Edited August 23, 2010 by unsinkable

[Pata]

:seeya: Hey Jessica! Nice to "see" you around again and congrats on your marriage. Glad to hear things are going so well for you.

[MariannNOVA]

Originally Posted by unsinkable

I don't understand this. Do you really think that most people don't get a picture in their heads when they hear a young woman has been married multiple times?

I understand what you are saying BUT that is because so many women suffer through miserable marriages rather than admit they made a huge mistake and try to fix it. I don't think that makes them any more admirable...just less likely to be judged. My BFF is on her 3rd marriage and she has taken major flack for it. #1 lasted 1 year, #2 lasted 3 years but #3? 9 years so far and still going strong. I think it takes a strong person to know when to fish and when to cut bait.

 

 

I don't mean this is in a snarky way at all. You could replace marriage with other things...says schools or jobs or pets or houses...If you hear that some one has had X (big number) of Y in a short period of time, you get a picture of that person in your head.

 

Yes, I know. I have worked in 5 different school districts and moved 8 times in the last 13 years BY CHOICE. Some people "get a picture" of me as being flighty or running from something. All I can say is "Not all those who wander are lost" (Tolkien). It's just like homeschooling...choose a different way of living your life and people will always have something to say.

.

 

I agree - DH and I move alot - we buy, sell and move ALOT! Putting down roots? We are only just now looking for the home that we do intend to stay in for a while. For us, there are just too many places to live for us to buy one house and stay there for a very long time. I guess that if we loved it, we would both know it was our 'forever' house --- but that hasn't happened. We've had too much fun trying out different places. Heck, we lived in an ESH for four months and we go back every couple of weeks to see everyone who works there, we've gone out to dinner with two of those folks, and we use the hotel pool........that's how much we liked the people there.

FTR, I've been where Jessica has been - I give her enormous amounts of credit for being strong enough to know when to fish or cut bait.

[Trivium Academy]

Well the accurate picture is that I married #1 when I was 19, stayed with him almost 4 years including being cheated on, his workplace embezzling which turned into restitution after his woman on the side turned him in b/c he decided to make our marriage work and dumped her to prove it, then he put us through bankruptcy and I decided to cut bait.

 

#2 was to Dd10's dad after two years of living together and we decided marriage wasn't right for us on our marriage night but couldn't get it annulled. He's one of my closest friends and the best dad in the world to DD10.

 

#3 Was the piece of work pastor husband I stayed with for 6 years until I could break free of his abuse by having leverage to get out.

 

#4 is the love of my life, my very best friend and favorite companion

 

Some never get a #4, I'm glad I do. Judge all you want :P

[Guest janainaz]

I would wish anyone well who has been through tough times. You live and learn. But I do think that many women who have been a child of divorce know the deep pain that is experienced through the child's perspective. If I had two kids, I think I'd be very cautious when it comes to bringing a new man in their life, especially so soon after a divorce and so much change. Most hearts need time to heal and readjust. I know I was in pain for a long time after my parents split up, and it seemed that their only focus was on themselves.